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Reader Comments (146)

Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:43AM baby sea tuna said

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It's a good thing 90% of the people that were going to buy this are going to completely ignore the reviews and buy it anyway.

Either that or (more likely,) they just can't read.

Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:47AM (Unverified) said

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@baby sea tuna

Yeah, I really wonder if the reviewers are actually aware of their breath being wasted as they write these things...
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:49AM ijustw1n said

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@baby sea tuna
On any game for that matter, who really listens to reviews? Horribly reviewed games constantly get sequels or sell well enough to not be considered a failure.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:50AM baby sea tuna said

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@(Unverified)

Not *completely* wasted, it saved me $60.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:52AM megapython vs gatoroid said

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@baby sea tuna
adult illiteracy is a serious problem
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:54AM blessrok said

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@baby sea tuna bought it, can read perfectly fine and have read every review. still going to see for myself.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:58AM R Planteer said

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@baby sea tuna

Everything is relative. From what I've read, this game seems right up my alley: Crude humor, fun guns, old school shooting, objectification of women- sounds like good times.

One of my favorite games on the old Xbox was Wacked! I played that game so much its one of only 4 games in my life to give me physical injuries due to playing it too much (blisters in this case). It has a metacritic score of 59.

The worse game I've played so far this generation is (by a long shot) GTA 4. Boring gameplay, crappy car physics, annoying cell phone, and a story I seriously could not care less about. Metacritic score of 98.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:59AM baby sea tuna said

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@blessrok

Admirable, I suppose. Most people will take your word for it if you tell them that a stove is hot, but some folks just have to touch that burner and find out for themselves.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 12:03PM Faceless Troll said

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@baby sea tuna I got it, but admittedly I wanted the bust in the balls of steel edition. The game itself I can always trade in.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 12:06PM SubEngy said

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@baby sea tuna Yeah, you show them!

Have fun?
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 12:10PM blessrok said

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@baby sea tuna as I said in a later post I've played poorly reviewed games and loved them before. Not every game is a gem, but you can still find the entertainment in them.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 12:19PM OrangeGamer said

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@baby sea tuna I'm personally pretending I can't read this week. I have the Balls of Steel Edition coming in to my Gamestop Tuesday. ;)
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 12:54PM My Prerogative said

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@R Planteer I didn't like GTA 4 so much either, but if thats the worse you've played, then you're smarter than I with your money.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 1:00PM fohf said

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@R Planteer
I agree completely about GTA4. It is the only GTA in the entire series that I could not finish because I was so bored by it. and I hated Niko, worst character ever.

It still pisses me off that GTA4 is the highest rated game for both the PS3 and 360. So many bought reviews on that one. How can a game be considered perfect when almost every review listed problems with the controls right off the bat?

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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 1:09PM baby sea tuna said

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@fohf

It's funny because I loved GTA IV, personally. Only one I didn't get bored with about halfway through, actually.

I think a lot of the high scores had to do with the oft-imitated, yet-to-be-duplicated "living, breathing city" and "emergent, watercooler moments" less about the shitty fighting mechanics and lack of jetpacks or whatever. Playing inFAMOUS 2 reminds me of how far away all non-Rockstar sandbox games are from duplicating the feeling running around an actual city, and not just a video-game environment.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 1:39PM TheShaper said

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@ijustw1n
Whilst games that are greatly reviewed but marketed poorly or had an unfortunate release date (looking at ya, Mr. Alan Wake) end up falling into disgrace sales-wise and are never picked up for a sequel.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 1:47PM Faceless Troll said

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@Lucky48 GTA 4 was even worse on the PC simply due to the fact that Rockstar doesn't know how to port games at all.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 1:59PM AndySchatz said

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@R Planteer Haha YEAH! I worked on Whacked! (did the AI and the online UI) The team that made it really enjoyed it, it didn't deserve such a low metascore. It was just the target of game journalism groupthink.

It's actually the only big-budget game I ever worked on that I was truly proud of. Seeing it get ripped to shreds was one of the reasons I eventually went indie. (these days making Monaco)
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 2:49PM Seasqwaa said

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@AndySchatz
That's... awesome!
I still play whacked ALL THE TIME!
It's a great game to play with friends, that's for sure.

In fact, I've never even looked at reviews for it, but I'm surprise now it went so low.
It's better than a TON of things companies pump out these days with a truly unique, fun experience that hasn't even been experimented with in...
Too long.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 3:19PM bonkbonks said

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@(Unverified)
Buy ain't that the point bro ?
Seeing them reviewers about nonesense on their high horses is the best part about entertainment reviews, they're comedy gold.
Either that or they're just boring praising of how much they liked a certain game or movie.

But hey, it's not like if they could actually review much worth noting, there aren't many performance charts or durability tests they could come up with something like a game or a movie.

The duke is printing money and now that the forever curse has been lifted perhaps we'll see more games coming. I hope without regenerating health and the ability to carry more than 2 weapons.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 3:20PM thund3rstruck said

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@baby sea tuna: of course you're right because you're speaking in terms of undeniable fact and not personal opinion; oh wait... it was idiot critics (perhaps somewhat like you) who panned Lost Odyssey [and other great games] a few years ago and caused a whole lot of people to pass.

Don't for a second think that reviews don't have a massive effect on game sales. This isn't the 1980's when there was no Internet and people bought whatever looked good on the back of the box.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 4:16PM AndySchatz said

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@Seasqwaa :D Yeah, a big part of the problem was that Halo came out at about the same time, introducing teh dual stick controls to the world. When Whacked was designed, the designers didn't think that the broader market we were aiming at would be ready for that sort of thing, which is why strafing was mapped to the triggers and LAnalog was for turning and moving. Little did we know that dual analog would become the defacto standard so quickly.

So between being overwhelmed byt he halo craze and the fact that it was tough to market (bright, cartoony characters mixed with a dark sense of humor) kind of left it in no man's land. I was still surprised at how poorly it reviewed though. :(
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 4:28PM R Planteer said

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@AndySchatz

Dude, thats pretty ballin'. The game was seriously under-rated. More game's need plunger missiles and green penguins.

If you know any of the guy's that did the fake commericals, tell them I think they are brilliant. "I freeze you. You are frozen" and "Get a yolkamatic" are common sayings at my place during gaming time.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 4:31PM MBMBaM fan said

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@ijustw1n I certainly listen to reviews. I can't afford to shell out my hard earned cheddar on a lack-luster experience. It may have something to do with the fact that I'm unemployed...
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 4:36PM AndySchatz said

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@R Planteer Those were actually done by Dan Paladin, who is more famous these days for being the artist/designer at the Behemoth, the guys who made Alien Hominid and Castle Crashers
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 5:17PM R Planteer said

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@AndySchatz

Damn. I knew Castle Crashers reminded me of Whacked!, but I never knew that Dan Paladin worked on that as well.

Oh, lets not forget.."You hit me so hard you nearly knocked my bars off."

Whoever thought of having a naked nympho with censor bars for clothing as a playable character was brilliant too.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 5:55PM Brian Griffin said

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@(Unverified)

Almost as much money being wasted by buying this game?
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Posted: Jun 14th 2011 2:44AM (Unverified) said

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The Devs are actually geniuses. Talk about meta.

In the game you can pick up a turd out of the toilet.

Replace the turd with a copy of Duke Nukem Forever (not a big stretch really), and replace the toilet with Gamestop (sounds right keep reading), and just like my 300lb ex-roommate after 'burrito-loco' night, we're going to witness one emotional midnight release....
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Posted: Jun 14th 2011 4:26AM NMFK said

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@R Planteer your definitely a butt-hurt duke fanboy
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Posted: Jun 16th 2011 12:17AM joeypellicone said

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@baby sea tuna
agreed!
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:46AM Dark Pheonix Clan said

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bad reviews or not ,still going to play this game.

Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:56AM TexRob said

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@Dark Pheonix Clan You are a part of the problem.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 12:02PM SuperWoody64 said

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@Dark Pheonix Clan
Me too. Now if they try to straight-up sequel it I'll be pissed. This is the one exception I'll make to paying full price for a 12 year old game.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:47AM ShadowXIII said

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...I still can't believe it...

Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:47AM ceetheman said

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Well the PC Gamer review seems the most favorable, it seems they still like the old Duke.

Posted: Jun 13th 2011 2:14PM Guibs said

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@ceetheman If you needed a proof that PCgamer Review scale starts at 80%, you have it now.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:49AM LoneStarDawg said

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If this was 15 years in the making, it makes you wonder what they did for the other 14 years and 10 months."

Gotta love that line!! I've never played a Duke game. (yes I'm old enough to have) but even all the details about throwing poo around is enough for me to know even my low brow humor is above this game.

Posted: Jun 13th 2011 1:25PM Heffer Wolfe said

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@Lucky48

DNF has been in development somewhere, in some way, since 1997.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 1:38PM Teus said

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@Lucky48 most of the work was already done by 3d realms gearbox just finished it... so yes its been 14 years in the making... that includes the countless times they restarted from scratch
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:50AM Leafhopper said

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I still dont get why people are surprised. Too Human was in development for 10 years and this was in development even longer. I understand its Duke but come on.

Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:51AM (Unverified) said

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Getting, Alice - Madness Returns instead.

Posted: Jun 13th 2011 12:24PM bgardner said

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@(Unverified) im getting both game btw
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 12:26PM bgardner said

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@bgardner balls of steal edition too
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:51AM Integral said

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Hmmmmmm... I was really hoping this would be (slightly) old school, over the top, and fun. Nothing amazing, but just a solid fun shooter. But from what I've seen and read, it looks like rubbish.

Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:53AM NineT9 said

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dont care what ppl say, this is Duke Nukem

Posted: Jun 13th 2011 12:05PM Rather Dashing said

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@NineT9 Right, with his iconic regenerating health, two-weapon limit, and puzzle sequences.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 1:53PM LexStewther said

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@Rather Dashing
I remember playing the demo thinking to myself "Wait, I can only have two guns at a time?" really sucked when i ran out of ammo for my shotgun and all i had was a "shrink" ray. since when did Duke become a wuss he can't carry 10+ weapons?
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:54AM mguniverse said

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Come on PC Gamer, can you spare a shame?

Posted: Jun 13th 2011 1:13PM Nightay said

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@R Planteer
I thought I was the only one who absolutely hated gta4. It was nothing compare to awesomeness of san andreas and vice city. Only thing it did better was graphics and graphics don't make a game.
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Posted: Jun 13th 2011 11:59AM Hunter141072 said

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This reviews are completely idiotic, the game is good. The problem is that this guys wanted to see something like the witcher 2 from a visual point of view but it was perfectly clear that this was not going to be the case. Duke is like one of those 80´s "university-sex-comedies" movies that we all loved like: porkys, revengE of the nerds, animal house, etc........that´s the spirit, and they really captured that perfectly. Now to be honest i think gearworks has bigger plans for nuke than this, i believe what this guys did was to buy a franchise that they know can be very successful, but they wanted to take rid of the "forever curse" that´s why they just released the game as it was designed, maybe they polished it a little but they knew it was not a modern day game, i think they just wanted to give something to the people and end the forever curse once and for all because:
a) they knew it was going to sell no mater what, and it is.

b) with the "curse" finished now gearbox can create a real duke game from scratch, and i´m sure the next one is going to be awesome. think about it why buying this franchise just to release a game that was funny and that´s it??? gearbox has the talent and the power to do something great, just look at borderlands. But they wanted to get the attention of the people on Duke once again with a fast buck like this one, and now they can really concentrate on a new, better, good looking duke. I wouldn´t be surprised of they were working on the next duke right now.

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