The most important part of any transaction is the close, when the salesperson in question has to be just a little bit aggressive and really "ask" for the sale. But we worry Bethesda might have overdone the aggressive thing just a tad with these bronzed Dragonborn statues headed to a retailer near you.
Good luck buying any game not called Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim after November 11, what with Dovahkiin glowering over you, the smell of mutton and mead still thick on his breath.
"Uncharted 3, peon? That's what you're buying? Well, I hope you're not split on the decision!"
... Oh, sorry, he cuts you in half with a battle axe when he says the "split" part. Forgot to mention.
Reader Comments (43)
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 6:34PM Red Runner said
The game story places your character as the ONLY Dragonborn
LIES
LIES
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 6:36PM Grand Kerfuffle said
Note: While writing this, Justin had a boner factor of infinity.
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 6:36PM manny2206 said
are they real life size? O.o
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 6:36PM soniccar said
Yeah, give that stupid Uncharted fan what they deserve!!!
Sorry, sorry. Just got caught up in the moment.
See, a little duct tape and he's fine... Oops.
Sorry, sorry. Just got caught up in the moment.
See, a little duct tape and he's fine... Oops.
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 6:40PM Veteran Gear said
That would go nicely next to my "Home for sale" sign. Too much great stuff this year, I'm going broke.
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 6:42PM Neovampyre said
Ya'll know damm well that I'm gonna offer a price to my local retailer if they get one.
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 6:47PM Frostfell said
Haha love Justin's enthusiasm towards Skyrim. Though its certainly not unwarranted, he's only a hair more excited about it than I am.
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 6:53PM Marco le Polo said
I'll take two. One for my front lawn and one for my bathroom.
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 6:58PM Ospov said
I want all of them and I want to surround my house in them.
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 7:02PM aclucari said
I love Notch, I cant wait for his new game to come out.
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 7:10PM Spunky Monkey 190906 said
I've got both and BF3 preordered :D I'll be a social hermit this fall!
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 7:12PM Breeding said
So would it be a felony if I get caught stealing this from my local Gamestop or Best Buy?
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 7:13PM Richard Jae said
...Is this why the special edition is going to cost way more than it should?
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 7:17PM beanninja said
Terra cotta?
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 7:32PM kentuckyfried said
I want one of those for my backyard.
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 7:37PM Faenix said
Looks like on release, ill be making an offer on the promotional statue as well as buying the game... o.O
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 7:46PM pluupy said
WHOA! They're REAL statues?!!?
Sh*t just got serious.
Sh*t just got serious.
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 8:12PM Warlock234 said
Are those plastic or bronze?
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 8:20PM (Unverified) said
Can't they just make them 5 feet smaller and, like maybe y'know made of chocolate or something? Going broke here!
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 8:26PM OrangeGamer said
I can only wish they dispensed mead. That would be bro tier.
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 8:26PM RudyHuxtable said
@benjaz
I'd sure like to see you armwrestle a porcupine's privates.
I'd sure like to see you armwrestle a porcupine's privates.
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 9:18PM Gooblechev said
You know they make a lot of money from blockbuster video games when...
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 9:23PM Bentzero said
How do I steal one and not get caught
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 9:30PM psycros said
Gee, great use of company resources, Bethsoft. I'm glad you sprang for these instead of hiring a couple more coders. No wonder it took five years to get a new TES game.
Posted: Sep 7th 2011 11:07PM Fakeassname said
@adeese
they made nothing ... F3, F:NV, and now skyrim all are using the same gamebryo engine that Oblivion did. sure, it's been touched up a bit to stay modern with all the latest post processing effects, but it's still the same basic code at it's core.
now ID did make a new engine, but that was completed before the buyout ...
I can't help reading this and not thinking "how the hell is this not a complete waste when there are so many people hard up for a job right now."
Reply
they made nothing ... F3, F:NV, and now skyrim all are using the same gamebryo engine that Oblivion did. sure, it's been touched up a bit to stay modern with all the latest post processing effects, but it's still the same basic code at it's core.
now ID did make a new engine, but that was completed before the buyout ...
I can't help reading this and not thinking "how the hell is this not a complete waste when there are so many people hard up for a job right now."
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 9:34PM ProfessorBonkle said
I honestly have no idea where I would put a statue like this if it was commercially available.... Perhaps he would stand guard on my porch and I would decorate him for the different holidays. Dovahkiin in a Santa hat anyone?
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 9:55PM SisypheanLife said
@ProfessorBonkle
He could be festive for all occassions!
A bow with heart-shaped arrows; a green bowler with an empty Guinness; Santa hat; Satan hat; pilgrim hat; Uncle Sam Hat; combat helmet; a bundle of flowers for Mother's Day and a belt-in-hand for Father's Day. He could be your constant companion!
Reply
He could be festive for all occassions!
A bow with heart-shaped arrows; a green bowler with an empty Guinness; Santa hat; Satan hat; pilgrim hat; Uncle Sam Hat; combat helmet; a bundle of flowers for Mother's Day and a belt-in-hand for Father's Day. He could be your constant companion!
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 10:54PM ProfessorBonkle said
@SisypheanLife
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MPbnmyOiCxg/TYHjdgK78yI/AAAAAAAAAPM/frAw7rLhHZA/s1600/brilliant.jpg
Reply
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MPbnmyOiCxg/TYHjdgK78yI/AAAAAAAAAPM/frAw7rLhHZA/s1600/brilliant.jpg
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 10:00PM AeonFrog said
There's a spot in the corner of my room where one of these statues will fit nicely.
Posted: Sep 6th 2011 10:07PM Mickfo said
Oh man, this would go great with my Bethesda made Fallout 3 Statue!!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mmfoley/3374692420/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mmfoley/3374692420/
Posted: Sep 7th 2011 12:10AM VanillaNowah said
Man, this makes me sad that I buy all my stuff (including Skyrim) from Amazon, 'cause I prob won't go to wherever these statues will be.
Posted: Sep 7th 2011 1:54AM dargondarkfire said
i dought the kmart i work at will get one but if they do, and people don't destroy it>.> i'm going to ask my boss if i can have it when the promotion is done.
Posted: Sep 7th 2011 9:17AM IronClawt said
If I put as much effort into most everything else I have in playing Elder Scrolls games I would have been the CEO of some fancy pants company.
With that said, I am going to go jump in place in to increase my Athletics skill.
With that said, I am going to go jump in place in to increase my Athletics skill.
Posted: Sep 7th 2011 12:57PM Klearwater Killer said
well written. nah just kidding.
Posted: Sep 7th 2011 2:54PM NOOK360 said
"Good luck buying any game not called Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim after November 11"
Thank you. I'm confident I can achieve this.
[Achievement unlocked: Do not buy successor to the most boring game you ever played]
Thank you. I'm confident I can achieve this.
[Achievement unlocked: Do not buy successor to the most boring game you ever played]
Posted: Sep 7th 2011 4:24PM JasonA said
I'm actually trying to decide whether I should get Skyrim or Uncharted 3.
Any opinions?
Any opinions?
Posted: Sep 8th 2011 12:57PM Zero Hoki said
boners








