Sure, Gears of War 3 may come out in a couple of days, but that knowledge alone isn't enough to quench the internet's insatiable thirst for juicy details. Information deprivation, when combined with insanely high levels of anticipation, can mutate into a virtually transmitted disease known colloquially as "Release Date Syndrome."
The cure for Gears of War 3's specific strain of RDS is available over the counter and can be found both above and after the break. The treatment is only effective when ingested ocularly, and cannot be swallowed, administered intravenously, or given as a suppository. Please keep in mind that this treatment program has not been approved by the FDA, and as such may be taken down at any time.
May cause increased heart rate, difficulty breathing, incoherent babbling and Release Date Syndrome.
Gears of War 3 is the spectacular conclusion to one of the most memorable and celebrated sagas in video games. Developed by Epic Games exclusively for Xbox 360, Gears of War 3 plunges you into a harrowing tale of hope, survival, and brotherhood. In Gears of War 3, fight on as Marcus Fenix, the grizzled war hero and leader of Delta Squad. Eighteen months after the fall of the last human city, the war against the Locust rages on. Meanwhile, deep beneath the surface, a fearsome new threat is infecting the planet from within. With survivors scattered and civilization in ruins, time is running out for Marcus and his comrades as they fight to save the human race. The Gears of War series is one of the most popular franchises in Xbox history, with more than 12 million games sold worldwide, a forthcoming major motion picture, New York Times best-selling novels, and more.