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Reader Comments (52)

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:38AM (Unverified) said

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Far Cry was actually worth it for the "But Geeoorrrge!! Where are the WHALES!" jokes. Just watch the second scene then, shut it off. :)

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:39AM (Unverified) said

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@(Unverified)
Better yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuvBxrbg-kg
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:45AM bxgt said

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@(Unverified) Dude is that marie from breaking bad?
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:45AM baby sea tuna said

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@(Unverified)

Instead of watching it, I just read your line in Estelle Costanza's voice in my head. It was way funnier that way.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 3:49PM PR0F3TA said

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@(Unverified)

it wasn't funny. sorry.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:44AM baby sea tuna said

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Holy shit, is this the same "NEXT BIG THING!" Guin Turner of Spike, Mike, Slackers, and Dykes fame?! She wrote Bloodrayne?! I guess not everyone in the early 90s indie film revolution made out as well as Kevin Smith, Quentin Tarantino, or Richard Linklater did...

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:51AM mrmojoz said

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@baby sea tuna

American Psycho to Bloodrayne. Hmmm.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 12:24PM aristokrat said

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@baby sea tuna
In all fairness, it more like she wrote an unedited 20% of BloodRayne.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 1:01PM PointlessPuppies said

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@baby sea tuna
Uh, watch the video/read the article? She didn't "write" Bloodrayne so much as she wrote a very rough first draft on it, from which Uwe preserved only about 20% of it and the rest came out as word vomit from his untalented ass.

She really didn't have anything to do with the final film.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:46AM The Blank Mage Returns said

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No, the worst thing about Uwe Boll video game movies is that people you know end up basing their opinions on them. Not that Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne, and House of the Dead are great video games, but good lord, they at least don't deserve that kind of treatment. I live in constant fear that he'll secure the rights to, I don't know, like Bioshock, or Amnesia, or some other reputable, quasi-scary video game.

Like what Shamalan did to Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:57AM archipelagos said

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@The Blank Mage Returns Don't forget the negative impact of the Resident Evil movies.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 12:58PM darkinchworm said

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@archipelagos
None of them are great, but they hold up pretty damned well compared to their Uwe Boll counterparts.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 9:58PM bamb0ostick said

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@The Blank Mage Returns I'm still reluctant to believe Shamwow made The Last Airbender that terrible by accident. It was almost as if he was using a checklist of wrong things to do and followed it line per line. Uwe Boll actually believes the shit he makes is gold.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:49AM Vladeon said

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I can't understand how people are still willing to give this man money to make movies.

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 12:19PM Dashx747 said

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@Vladeon

It's a tax scheme. You invest in a movie, you can deduct it. In the end even if the movie doesn't make one cent in box office it's still profitable.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 3:51PM PR0F3TA said

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@BillyBongThornton

i like the tax scheme guy better
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 4:17PM rowd149 said

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@BillyBongThornton It's more complicated than that, from what I understand. He was taking advantage of some German movie grants or something, while also doing some funny (if legal) stuff with the tax system, while ALSO making movies so cheaply that a profit was almost impossible to NOT achieve unless literally no one went to see it (which, sadly, did not happen).
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 4:20PM Dashx747 said

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@BillyBongThornton

Billy, I'm a professional tax consultant. Seriously.

Movies and anything that falls under that umbrella of culture have special deductions, that allow for profits or at least zero loss. That is true in many europeans countries.

I worked with a oil company in my country that decided to invest in a movie (a stoner comedy, in fact). They gave the movie a value X, and in return they got a deduction of X+25% directly in the paid tax (not on the base used of calculation, on the actual amount paid).

So, to sum it up, trust me on this one.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 4:22PM Dashx747 said

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@rowd149

True, he also had funding from the government.

But I heard he lost it recently. Or did I just dream that up? Because Uwe being out of work really seens like a dream.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:50AM Dark Pheonix Clan said

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uwe boll is just eewwwwwwwww.

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:51AM Courtney said

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So we've finally pinned down the reason his movies are so bad, he's obsessed with punctuality and deadlines! Phew, mystery solved!

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:55AM Mode7James said

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I did the Flash website for this movie way back in the day, and I remember wading through all of the terrible scenes and trailers. I think my website was cooler than the movie.

Oh, and has anyone seen the Alice Cooper video? I don't know if it ever made it to youtube but if you have a chance go watch for shits&giggles XD

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:55AM archipelagos said

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Hilarious. I'm glad that she's able to seem in such good humour about it all. Uwe Boll is just frightening; at this stage I think he has gone beyond Ed Wood into a whole new stratosphere.

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:57AM Mode7James said

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Oh, and his movies are subsidized by the German government, it's why he continually gets big budgets. Yet another reason tax dollars should never pick winners & losers....

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:58AM DCGX said

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Better late than never Joystiq. The doc in which this interview is a part of is two years old. (FYI, the doc, 'Tales from the Script', is god awful).

That said I do feel bad for her, because until you're a huge name writer/filmmaker, screenwriters aren't treated with a lot of respect. The sad thing is, this will be on her IMDB forever.

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:59AM derdaim said

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I love those earlier Boll movies like Bloodrayne and House of the Dead. They're hilarious and fun to watch with beer and friends around.

To bad all his newer ones since Postal are totally boring. But I have hope that with his new zombie flick next year, he regains some of his former B-movie-trash glory.

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 1:15PM mcnerven said

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@derdaim Agreed. Postal was just horrible. Not in a The Room, Troll 2 or Bloodrayne horrible, just a movie that shouldn't be watched by anyone ever.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 12:01PM Captain Planet Planeteer Power said

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Wait...there's a FarCry movie?

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 12:27PM Ebok007 said

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@Captain Planet Planeteer Power
Yeah, kind of like how there is a video game of the movie ET.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 12:03PM Courtney said

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Holy crap, one of is more recent films is Blubberella:

"An action comedy centered on an overweight woman whose footsteps cause explosions and whose dual swords are used against anyone who makes fun of her. ... Half vampire, half woman, and all trouble, Blubberella loves nothing better than killing Nazis and a substantial turkey on rye."

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 3:53PM The Scout said

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@Courtney

WUT.
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Posted: Oct 27th 2011 5:17AM KiraXD said

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@Courtney

no effing way?
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Posted: Oct 27th 2011 6:11PM kidquest said

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@Courtney

THANK YOU BASED BOLL
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 12:18PM Camilomf said

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How come Uwe Boll still get work???? This is a highly competitive cutthroat business. I'm in it myself and god knows how hard it is to get a film done. Who keeps giving money to a time-proven incompetent, untalented director to blow away into these terrible movies????

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 12:50PM KazamaSogetsu said

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"Until the law was changed in 2005, Boll was able to acquire funding thanks to German tax laws that reward investments in film. The law allowed investors in German-owned films to write off 100% of their investment as a tax deduction"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uwe_Boll#Financing

Tl;dr: thank Mother Gemany for all the aberrations he has crapped over the years.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 12:24PM TheChezDispenser said

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Does she come off as kind of snotty to anyone else? If I missed a deadline for anything by two weeks people would have cut my throat.

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 3:27PM commonperson said

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@TheChezDispenser It's actually fairly standard in the Film industry to have things a couple weeks late at this early stage. You usually communicate but I took her reaction as "yeah my bad but dude needed to relax."
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 11:45PM MrGreen said

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@TheChezDispenser
I was about to use something a lot less nice. I thought she was very pretty, and then she started talking.

Boll is a wash but I would take anything that comes out of that woman's pretty mouth with a truckload of salt.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 12:31PM Milf Biggenson said

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So if 20% of the movie script and scenes are brilliant in Bloodrayne, give this woman another job. If it's indistinguishable, never hire her again. That's fair.

Have you ever walked out of a movie and said "You know, it was terrible but only about 80% terrible. The other 20% of that movie was Oscar bait."

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 12:56PM DCGX said

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@Milf Biggenson

Sometimes yeah. There can be movies with an excellent idea and/or story and just ridiculously bad execution. Ultimately it's the execution that makes them forgettable though.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 1:16PM edoglost said

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QUICK NOTE -
All Directors are insane. The film industry is insane. This doesn't seem out of the ordinary.

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 2:17PM Fullmetal Salchemist said

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Seems like a weird bit of news to report, considering Tales from the Script came out two years ago.

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 3:27PM Ryuk said

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I just read the Wikipedia article on Uwe Boll. I actually feel ashamed FOR him

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 3:39PM Chiren said

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Maybe she shouldn't have been two weeks late with her script?

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 3:40PM mietha said

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What a whiny bitch. She acts like a child because someone yells at her for being late on a script? She refuses to work with the director yet expects to be consulted on rewrites? She laughs at the movie at the premiere? I hate Boll, but I REALLY hope this bitch never works again.

Posted: Oct 27th 2011 5:31AM KiraXD said

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@mietha

pretty sure( in california at least)... 99% of any JOB, if an employer said WHERES MY F**KING anything... theyd be sued, and fired... regardless if the employee was 2 weeks late with their chore... sorry, theres no reason to talk like that to anyone for any reason in a business situation like that.
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Posted: Oct 28th 2011 9:03PM vor said

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@KiraXD uhm...I take the writers side in the arguement, but in what world do you live in that you could be sued for saying, "WHERES MY F**KING anything".

If you could sue in California for being excessively demanding and abuse to employees Steve Jobs and Larry Ellison would've gone broke from the lawsuits.
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Posted: Oct 26th 2011 3:52PM JCat said

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Where's my F@#KIN' script???? lol

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 4:34PM sleepwheel said

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i can't wait until Boll makes Duke Nukem Forever, Deus EX Human Revolution, Skyrim, and Portal movies. :)

Posted: Oct 26th 2011 4:35PM OGC said

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wait...i cant even tell if this serious or not. Is it? I didnt even know a Bloodrayne movie ever came out

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