Yes, the Reapers are coming, ready to slay us with their steely tentacles and laser eyes. And in these moments when you feel so small and helpless in the fight to save the galaxy, there's only one thing to do: escape. Let Shepard worry about the Reapers; take a load off and come on down to the Citadel, a marvel of technology, not only full of mysteries, but also the core of civilization.
Please refrain from laughing at Shepard's dance moves ... you never know what mood you'll catch her in.
And for those of you who miss Earth, we've got a touch of home for you in the Presidium Commons. Currently decorated with the features of the Human homeworld, the Presidium Commons is bursting with sights and sounds. Enjoy the green trees and grass alongside red exotic flowers that provide a welcome distraction. If you're looking for the perfect view for a date, may we suggest the Apollo? Not only does this restaurant serve alcoholic beverages, but it has the best steak sandwich on the station. Not convinced? Kaidan Alenko not only endorses the sandwich, but he's also a frequent visitor.
The Presidium Commons also has a special promotion running, Blasto 6: Partners in Crime has audio excerpts available for your listening pleasure - the producer is even donating a portion of the proceeds to the Citadel's military defense fund. Got a thing for buddy-cop movies? Badassfully: we bet you've never seen an Elcor in action like this.
We should warn you that you're not the only one flocking to the Citadel for safety, so refugee camps are common. We assure all of your relocation requests are being given top priority during this nightmare, but we've provided emergency housing in the docks holding area. Perhaps this is your chance to do some good and help out those who are separated from their loved ones. You might even find a bustling game of poker -- just don't bet the last of your money against James Vega. We're not sure how he always manages to win, but we're starting to guess this pile of muscles is actually smarter than he lets on.
Since the universe's situation is so dire, there's also a Memorial Wall, inundated with pictures of those lost, to pay respect to those who have perished. Merely being around this wall will shower you with support from others going through the same situation as you. So much inspiration has been lifted from this wall that we even have a tattoo artist on standby in case you have the urge to permanently make a statement. There is a travel warning for this area, though: due to the high volume of refugees, there's also an abundance of press coverage. However, security is friendly enough to look the other way in an instance where you might want to assault a reporter.
Maybe you just want to forget the Reapers. We've got the place for you, a super-chic VIP bar called Purgatory. In fact, it's so exclusive that the Citadel tourism board doesn't even recognize its existence. Hey, sometimes you just need to let your hair down, numb the pain with some booze, and dance the night away. The music is always deafeningly techno, and there have been many times when frequenters end up passed out drunk in the elevator - if that's not a sign of a good night, we don't know what is! Please refrain from laughing at Shepard's dance moves, though, you never know what mood you'll catch her in.
It's the end of the world as we know it, and don't you want to feel fine? The Citadel promises a safer venue, full of plenty to immerse you away from it all. Note that life rarely gives us happy endings when facing a war, especially against indestructible, menacing machines like the Reapers. Therefore, there are no refunds if you don't like the way this journey ends ... but we do promise this trip will be memorable.