Portal board game coming to enrich your aperture in Q4 2014

A Polygon report on the Portal board game by Valve and Cryptozoic claims that the Valve-licensed adaptation should hit shelves sometime late this year. The game is still in development and thus lacks a final title, but for now it's being called "Portal: Uncooperative Cake Acquisition Game," which honestly isn't too bad. Really rolls off the tongue. Valve, we may not be experienced board game designers or publishers or ... you, but you can totally trust us on that one.

Gameplay in P:UCAG (seriously, super smooth, even in acronym form) is mostly competitive: Two to four players place Aperture test subjects into various testing environments, trying to kill off either their opponents' pawns or their own. The only time players cooperate is when they're teaming up to defeat another, more powerful player.

Hey, if Chell and GLaDOS can put their differences aside long enough to work together, surely board game players won't have to resort to pumping the game room full of deadly neurotoxin, right? ... Right?