Those of you who decried Jack Thompson’s claims that video games incite people to violence are finally about to get your comeuppance. Just take a gander at this enormous and entirely irrefutable list of crimes, each of which was clearly inspired by video games. With entries dating as far back as 1972, this crippling epidemic of violence is hardly a new issue, so why has it taken this long for politicians to force their oppressive legislation down our collective throats? This reporter, for one, blames the Nixon administration. What follows is but a mere sample of the innumerable heinous acts of violence inspired by video games:

• January 29, 1980: a man under the influence of narcotic “power pellets” was arrested after eating four people within ten seconds. He later testified that he was “going for the high score.”
• September 8, 1985: a mentally unstable hunter was apprehended for shooting at several dogs in his neighborhood, claiming that they were laughing at him. Fortunately no dogs were injured, as they were invincible.
• February 4th, 1994: a young woman was arrested for attempted murder after freezing several people and using their bodies to reach high ledges. For whatever reason, many officers originally believed the suspect to be male.
• October 21st, 2005: the movie Doom was released in theaters. There were no survivors.
  

It is evident that if we are to save our morally bankrupt society, we must act now! Write your congressman today and tell them that you fully support wiping video games from the face of this Earth! Do it within the next ten minutes, and I’ll even donate $10,000 to your favorite charity! Go go go!

December’s issue of Game Informer features an in-depth interview with Metal Gear Solid guru Hideo Kojima, in which he discusses Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. One of the PS3’s most highly anticipated titles, as well as what is to be the last game in the Metal Gear series with Kojima at the helm, MGS4’s dev team is pulling out all the stops to ensure that this game will be one to remember. Notable among Kojima’s remarks regarding this next entry in the series is the introduction of psychological warfare—not just for the NPCs, but for the player as well. According to Kojima, enemy AI in Guns of the Patriots will be so advanced that each character will react as an actual human would in a combat situation, meaning that outwitting your enemies will likely become a key facet of gameplay. However, in an effort to keep the game balanced, the enemy Metal Gears will play tricks with your mind as well.

Rather than attempting to heighten the player’s paranoia (as the horror genre has done so often in the past), the enemies in MGS4 will instead endeavor to lull you into a false sense of security and actually ease your tension before engaging you in combat. In Kojima’s own words, ”in the trailer, there is a new Metal Gear. When this comes closer, it makes the noises of a cicada. To most Japanese people, this sound makes you think about your childhood days, because you were going outside into nature and catching cicadas.” Furthermore, the sound of the Metal Gear walking will resemble the clopping of horse hooves, and that bellowing noise heard in the trailer is supposed to be reminiscient of the noises made by a cow. Kojima contends that, ”so combined, these three aspects, the sounds of the cicada, the horse, and the cow makes the person who hears the sounds a little bit peaceful, because it makes you go back to your childhood memories. You’re supposed to feel tense in a battlefield, but when you hear this, it really cuts the tense feeling. And when that happens, the Metal Gear attacks you.”

Although, perhaps this is just me, but when a two-legged mechanical monstrosity plummets out of the sky and emits a deafening roar straight out of Jurassic Park, I am not immediately put at ease. More accurately, it causes me to hearken back to my childhood, when, growing up in southern Kyushu, cows would fall from the sky and fire missiles at me. Needless to say, my cicada collection was ruined. For localization, might I suggest the Metal Gears play an endless loop of the Super Mario Bros. theme? Doot, doot, doot, doot doooo doo BOOM.

If you're like us, you've been indulging yourself in that Xbox Live Arcade a little more often than would be considered healthy, and you're loving every minute of it. Of course, if you're like us, you also inevitably get that sinking feeling that you just paid $400 for nothing more than an arcade emulator every time you glance at that gleaming white tower just off to the side of your 50" plasma display. Feel like it's time to take your retro flashback to the next level? Bust out that dremel, 'cause here comes the Atari 3600, the casemod that transforms your mild-mannered 360 into the box that Atari built. Old school, meet new school. New school, tear out old school's internal organs and replace them with your own. Game on.

[Thanks, Seth]

I've been looking through Joystiq's archives quite thoroughly lately, and no matter how many articles I see speculating on future hardware—including ones not even remotely announced—I can't seem to find anything relating to the next iteration of the Game Boy, aside from one tiny piece from July '04 confirming that, yes, Nintendo is working on it, maybe possibly perhaps. This got me to thinking: how will Nintendo market a traditional handheld after the undeniable success of their nonconformist third pillar? Obviously differentiation is key, as high hardware sales translate into higher software sales, which are the crux of a publishing giant such as Nintendo. How will the Game Boy Evolution differentiate itself from the DS and all of its subsequent progeny? Nintendo isn't talking—yet—so we'll opt for the next best thing: rampant speculation!

• The GBE will be released six months to a year after the launch of the Revolution. Considering a best-case scenario, Japanese gamers could be playing the Evolution as early as next December. Why, you ask? For much the same reason as the near-coinciding launch of the GBA and GCN…

• The Revolution will connect with the Game Boy Evolution, but not with the Nintendo DS. Aside from the usual benefits of a controller with a built-in screen, classic Nintendo titles can be downloaded onto the GBE's internal memory for nostalgia on the go. And speaking of nostalgia…

• Unlike the DS and the GBM, which are only equipped to play Game Boy Advance cartridges, the GBE will allow you to play your entire back catalog of Game Boy titles, thus preserving the longevity of the Game Boy brand. Obviously it won't accept DS cartridges, despite the fact that…

• The GBE will store game data on DS-esque flash memory cards, rather than an optical storage medium such as the PSP's UMDs, thus eliminating the need for separate memory cards and battery-intensive lasers. And while we're talking comparisons to the PSP…

• The Game Boy Evolution will feature full 3D capabilities, though the hardware will only exhibit a marginal increase over the PSP's graphics. Nintendo's never felt the need to sell their consoles as the most graphically superior (see Game Boy vs. Game Gear), relying instead on the overall experience as the system's unique selling point. But before we get away from the graphical aspects there's one last thing worth mentioning…

• The GBE's screen resolution will be drastically increased over the GBA's, though all the while retaining a similar aspect ratio. Despite consumer demand, the screen will not be backlit.

• ...until the GBE SP.

CNN's Chris Morris recently took a shot at those eight Revolution controller demos that everyone's been raving about since TGS, and offered a few pennies for the thoughts of a few of Nintendo's higher-ups in the process. His insights on the controller itself aren't anything we haven't heard a hundred times before (it's so light/intuitive/subtle/revolutionary!), but some of the quotes he snags from Iwata and the Regginator do shed some new light on Nintendo's ultimate scheme. Iwata doesn't just expect the Revolution to bridge the gap between gamers and non-gamers alike, he also expects the Revolution's control scheme to become "the standard in video game controls." That's some big talk, implying that Microsoft and Sony would abandon the hyper-evolved NES interface in favor of Nintendo's newest implementation. Rather than dreading, is Nintendo perhaps expecting their competitors to imitate their designs?

When asked how the general public would react to such a radically new interface, Iwata compared selling people on the idea of the Rev to selling people on the idea of the DS's touch screen, and how the lessons learned from marketing the DS will help them communicate the idea of the Revolution's remote. However, if you stop and think about it, not all that many DS games have made great use of the device's touch screen (by which we mean that the game couldn't have functioned at all without the inclusion of a touch screen in the first place). Only Kirby: Canvas Curse, Meteos, and Wario Ware DS immediately spring to mind (Animal Crossing may have suffered without a touchable interface, but it was by no means necessary). Should we really expect third-party developers to push the boundaries of gameplay on unproven technology?

Reggie had less grandiose words to offer for our consumption, though he did remark that he earnestly hoped that the Revolution would realize a massively multiplayer online game on a console, an endeavor which has in the past been met with merely mediocre success. Could a Nintendo-developed MMORPG be in the works? They've got more than enough untapped intellectual properties—is an Earthbound MMOG really that hard to imagine? Finally, Reggie reminds us yet again that we'll be seeing more from the Revolution before E3 rolls around. Come on, Reggie! Enough with the demos, we want Smash Bros. dammit!

Last night's Child's Play charity auction hosted by Gabe and Tycho of Penny Arcade fame was a resounding success, with the final takings amounting to $82,100, almost five times the amount raised during last year's auction. Items up for grabs included limited edition Cardboard Tube Samurai laser cels, a complete Penny Arcade wardrobe, and a tour of Bungie Studios, not to mention the chance to appear in a Penny Arcade strip, a once in-a-lifetime opportunity which was apparently far too good to pass up, fetching a cool $20,000. Yesterday's event brings the sum of this year's donations to within striking distance of $300,000, all of which goes towards supplying hospitalized children with toys and video games. Amidst a backdrop of seemingly perpetually negative press surrounding games and gamers of every calling, Child's Play is one of the most positive examples imaginable of the gaming community banding together to make a difference. So if you've got a little bit left over after your holiday shopping is done, consider sending it their way. Won't somebody please think of the children?

We've always been told that it's better to give than to receive, though we're not quite sure why that is. At the very least, it's sure to regain you some of those karma points you lost for exclusively running down grandmothers in San Andreas. But as gamers ourselves we know better than anyone how tough it is to shop for one, considering all the variables to take into account: genre preferences, company allegiances, platforms owned… not to mention how much you're willing to spend. So tell us, what gifts are you getting for that special gamer in your life? A PlayStation Portable for your iPodding teen? A Game Boy Micro for the budding gamer in your family? Or maybe a tricked-out gaming rig for that oh-so-special World of Warcraft partner?

There's been a lot of fresh new faces in the Joystiq household as of late, and today we're proud to bring you the freshest: DS Fanboy, where touching is always good. In their quest to unearth all the facts, fiction, and FUD surrounding Nintendo's dual-screened marvel they'll tirelessly comb the seedy, rumor-strewn underbelly of the interweb to bring you all the Nintendo DS news you've ever dreamed of. For everyone else out there, there's no need to worry—N-Gage Fanboy will be here sooner than you think.

According to several tipsters, Circuit City has just received a new shipment of Xbox 360s which are available to be specially ordered on a first come, first served basis. Here's the catch: the warehouses that service several states each are only getting about 170 units per distributor, so don't expect your local store to receive more than 2 or 3 boxes. Both premium and core bundles will be for sale, though the ratio of premium bundles to core bundles is still unknown. The good news, though, is that anyone placing a special order for the 360 right now could presumably have their hands on a box within the next few days to a week. Of course, there's a chance that you'll have to settle for a lowly core package, though a crippled 360 is better than no 360, right? Just so we're clear, that there's what they call a rhetorical question.

Though last night's Spike TV Video Game Awards were an unmitigated travesty and an affront to the dignity of true gamers everywhere, the undisputed highlight of the night was not the 2005 Game of the Year As Chosen By Spike TV's Marketing Department, but the heavily contested revelation of Best Gaming Blog. Tensions in the blogosphere reached a fever pitch in the hours leading up to the ceremony, with numerous girly slapfights erupting amongst the crowd. Nerves mounted ever higher as all of webdom looked on with bated breath, occasionally looking away just long enough to retch into a nearby bucket. At long last, the moment of truth: who would Spike TV recognize as the world's best gaming blog? The envelope, if you please. And the winner is…

IT'S A TIE! KOTAKU AND SLASHDOT FOR THE WIN!!!

The audience burst into deafening applause as Brian Crecente and Rob Malda simultaneously slumped forward in their seats, heads in their hands, shielding their faces from the cameras. Unfortunately, representatives from Joystiq were unavailable to accept the award for Least Association With the Most Egregiously Farcical Event of 2005, as managing editor Vladimir Cole had been critically wounded earlier in the evening during a slap-related altercation on the red carpet, and the remainder of the Joystiq staff had already been ejected from the premesis for multiple counts of indecent exposure. Rob Schneider was eventually fooled into accepting the award, though only after being told it was made of chocolate.

Though we here at Joystiq revel in our victory, we are not deaf to the plight of our blogging brethren. Each of us on the Joystiq crew extend our most heartfelt sympathies to Kotaku and Slashdot, who are even now bracing for the inevitable influx of prepubescent wannabe-hax0rs who think that beating Halo 2 on Normal difficulty makes them totally l33t. However, despite our sweeping triumph, we realize that it could have just as easily been us on the receiving end of such a disgrace, and we must inevitably remind ourselves that the only real winners here are those blogs that failed to be nominated in the first place. Take the hint, Spike. Next year, either drop the gangsta overtones and air an awards show that gamers aren't ashamed to be associated with, or don't bother inviting us to the after party. We'd just end up stealing all the liquor anyway.

So you're hankering for some hardcore old-school gameplay, but your Genesis is back at home and you're stuck at the hospital waiting for your wife to hurry up and deliver that baby already. Since you're sure as hell not gonna pay up for your retro fix, until now your best bet was a PlayStation Portable and a memory stick packed with your favorite ROMs. But with Sony tirelessly updating the PSP's firmware to head hackers off at the pass, keeping those emulators in working order can be something of a challenge. Enter the Gamepark GP2X, the Linux-based portable gaming platform from the makers of that other handheld you've never heard of. With no commercially-released titles to speak of, gaming on the GP2X is 100% open source, so an extensive library of dubious ports and emulations was fairly inevitable. Among others, the GP2X already boasts emulators for the NES, SNES, PlayStation, Sega Master System, and Genesis/Megadrive. So now when your newborn son first comes into this world, let his first memories be of his daddy kicking it old-school with Sonic and pals. When the doc asks if you'd like to hold him, tell her sure… right after you finish this zone.

According to Reuters, the bigwigs at Sony have recently reaffirmed the PS3's predicted launch window of spring 2006, despite numerous rumors and utterances to the contrary. Since Sony have yet to follow in Microsoft's footsteps and announce their intentions to engage in a simultaneous worldwide launch, we can assume that they'll be shooting for the usual staggered release schedule of Japan first, everywhere else… meh, whenever.

Technically speaking, should Sony stay true to their word, Japan could be seeing the PS3 as early as March 21, though no later than the same time come June. Given that the PS2 took a little under eight months to make the transition across the Pacific, we can roughly estimate a North American PS3 launch window of early November 2006 to late January 2007. This could potentially coincide with the recent rumor of a U.S. Revolution launch circa next Thanksgiving, and it could just mean, depending on far you read into this, that we might be breaking in Halo 3 in less than a year's time.

[Thanks, Ravi]

We missed this one back when it released in November, but seeing as how Christmas is nearly upon us, and since we know that many of our readers are wallowing in the financial vacuum known as college, it's our sworn duty to steer you clear of those tempting games at the bottom of the bargain barrel. How tempting is it, you ask? As far as this game is concerned, not only is 50 cent the main character, it's also the MSRP (or at least it should be, any way). Think of this as Joystiq's Holiday Anti-Gift Guide:

IGN [6.5] - "Unfortunately, as the game is basically a straightforward shooter all the way through, the fact that the battles can be boring, if not frustrating at times, makes most of the general gameplay rather uncompelling."

GameSpot [4.8] - "Once you've finished Bulletproof's short and ridiculous campaign, you can go back through the levels in arcade mode, which gives you a score based on how well you can shoot people in the face. But with the shooting as bad as it is, it's tough to imagine that most people will even bother to finish the campaign mode, let alone enjoy it enough to go back through the levels for a high score."

GameSpy [1½ out of 5] - "Bulletproof is a violent hip-hop fantasy come to life. Fittingly, it's got a mess of music video flash editing instead of a plot and shell casings where the brain should be. And a soul? Forget about it. The game's vision of 50, endorsed by the man himself, makes a lie out of any claim that his music is street poetry. There's no metaphor here. 50 Cent has been plugged, his crew has been wronged, and the only way to make things right is to blow the hell out of everyone."

It was only yesterday that the launch of IGN's Revolution channel quenched our insatiable thirst for solid Revolution data with some admittedly underwhelming yet nonetheless progressive technical specifications. The day after, they're following up on their Revolution revelations with even more info gleaned from developers working with near-final dev kits. So while this is all still subject to change, unless the Hollywood GPU ends up utilizing some form of quantum computing, don't expect any radical deviations.

First up, optical media. We've garnered some excellent commentary in our recent thread regarding Xbox 360 disc capacity, with several people citing the Revolution and its supposed 12GB discs. As it turns out, this isn't the case… by a long shot. Single-layered Revolution discs will hold 4.7GBs of data, tops, while the dual-layered variety tops out at 8.5 gigs. What will this mean for the content of Revolution games? That'll depend on the remainder of the Revolution's hardware, as well as the tools that are made available to the developers. For further elaboration, check out that 360 post if you've got an hour or so to spare, or just skip right to the meat.

Next up, memory. Initial appraisals set the Revolution's memory capacity at or around 128MBs; according to IGN, that number's been lowered to 104MBs—88 megs of 1T-SRAM and 16 megs of D-RAM. Developers have also noted that they have access to the Rev's built-in 512MBs of onboard flash memory, though flash is no replacement for dedicated RAM. The amount of memory aboard the Revolution's mysterious Hollywood GPU has yet to be determined, though many developers have placed the number at 3 megs. Of course, the apparent lack of this key hardware component may very well be responsible for the best news I've heard all day: the price.

Out of all the developers that IGN talked to, none expected the Rev to debut at a higher price than $150, with a few venturing as low as a $99 price point. Regardless, even at $200 the Revolution would undercut the cost of the Xbox 360 by 50%, since we all know that Core bundles do not count. And since nobody expects the PS3 to be cheap by any stretch of the imagination, I think I'm truly beginning to believe that Nintendo could pull off this whole "supplement rather than subsititute" thing they've got going on. Will Nintendo's decision to forego bleeding-edge hardware in favor of extreme affordability and ease of use succeed in swaying the untapped nongamer demographic? Perhaps more importantly, will the Revolution set a precedent wherein all future console generations are judged upon interface overhauls rather than polygons per second?

[Thanks, Hutchi]

In just over a year, World of Warcraft has grown from a simple MMORPG to a global phenomenon, with over 4.5 million active worldwide subscriptions. Never ones to pass up an opportunity to capitalize on all those guaranteed pageviews, Joystiq is proud to present the newest member of our dysfunctional blogging family, World of Warcraft Insider. They're your one-click stop for all things massive, multiplayer, and online in Azeroth, so head on over. We guarantee that your face won't melt*.

*Not a guarantee.