On The O.C. the characters celebrated Chrismukkah. Virgin Mobile dubbed it Christmahanakwanzakah. We here at the 'stiq, because of our extreme desire to be politically correct, and at the same time share our pessimism, know it as the "Holidaze." That's right, with Black Friday (a holiday in its own right to certain groups) officially here, and soccer moms, Boy Scouts, and career shoppers getting ready to fall back on their most basic animal instincts -- fighting over doorbuster deals as if it was Prostitute v. Prostitute for custody of a baby as presided over by King Solomon -- we can't help feeling that we needed to do something. And here we are -- Joystiq's Holidaze: Gaming Hots and Nots 2007.

By no means do we consider this guide a definitive source for your holiday shopping. Some people still need boxers, pencils, dress shirts, and notepads this holiday. This guide, unfortunately for those individuals, focuses solely on the games we think, after some heated discussions in our email thread, should make even the Ebenezers on your list as giddy as Tiny Tim. Well, what are you waiting for, friends? Hit the break, and know our list better, man! (And woman.)

Look, forgetting the lines of a song mid-show is only allowed in one of two instances. One: You, and the boys (or girls) drank Patron pre-show thinking just because the stuff was clear it was as non-alcoholic as water. Two: There is no other excuse. It's a lack of professionalism, an adherence to the creed and code of rock and roll that'll separate you from the other local dive bar bands on your way to gold plated records, "phat" cribs, and a VH1 "Behind the Music" special.

Because you might not be familiar with all the songs in Harmonix's Rock Band, we decided to take care of you, loyal readers. Beneath the break, we've linked the lyrics for the vast majority of the game's set list, minus some of the bonus songs. Well, what are you waiting for? Start learning those lyrics and paving your pathway to success.

Okay, ladies, time to get the spandex, tune those guitars, and get ready to melt faces -- it's Rock Band Eve, which is Christmas Eve with more metal and glitter. Tomorrow we celebrate the day when, unto us, a game will be delivered, and with it the promise of salvation from being forced to play Guitar Hero III by ourselves ... late at night ... in our boxers.

There's been plenty hullabaloo surrounding the launch of Harmonix's Rock Band, and be certain to check back tonight (11/19/2007) for our liveblogging of the launch. But what about the actual game? Is it the death nail in Guitar Hero's coffin, or does the overly ambitious Rock Band need to take some things to heart for their inevitable sophomore effort? The Metareview, as always, contains the answers you seek, dudes and dudettes.

• OXM (95/100): "Rock Band is the ultimate role-playing game - the only way to win is to completely commit as a guitarist, bassist, drummer, or singer and do your part for the fellowship of meta-musicians sharing the virtual stage. And if you can lower your shield of shyness to let the game in, you're richly rewarded as the collective joy of making music pours back out. Unlike other games, the Rock Band payoff isn't visceral or technical; it's emotional."
• IGN (94/100): "Metallica, The Ramones, The Rolling Stones -- these are some of the legendary bands in rock. And now, thanks to Harmonix's Rock Band, you and your friends can join the legendary pantheon of rock gods. The latest game from Harmonix ups the ante on other music titles by combining guitars, drums, and singing into one awesome package. You and your friends will rock out with some of the greatest bands in history. And Fall Out Boy. While Rock Band doesn't offer the insanely intense (and perhaps impossible) challenge of Guitar Hero III, it's a game that everyone will have fun playing. This may just be among the best party games ever released."
• 1UP (90/100): "Its critical appraisal isn't easy; music is culturally ingrained in us, and as a tool, a relatively inexpensive gateway for people to come together and experience it together, Rock Band easily delivers on what it promises. Actually feeling like a rock star -- for most people under 40, the next best thing to a superhero or a T-Rex -- is transcendently entertaining. Guitar Hero is still the way to go for lone wolves, but if you have the space, the manpower, and the means, Rock Band unquestionably, unequivocally rocks."

Sure, some of you lucky bastards readers already plopped a whole heap of time into Mass Effect thanks to K-Mart's inability to, you know, read. Others of us, however, don't get to play "Jack Bauer in Space" until tomorrow. Yeah, that's right, we're jealous individuals (sans those on staff who took advantage of the "blue light special") who know that Bioware determines its release schedule with a formula more complex than how the NFL calculates a QB's passer rating.

We here at Joystiq are all primed and ready to save the universe, use our Force special powers on enemy combatants, knock boots with some genderless aliens, and finally move past Jade Empire. However, maybe you're not convinced as we are -- that's okay because the Metareview is here to help.

• GameSpy (100/100): "Mass Effect's greatest strength is the quality of the narrative. BioWare has a track record of producing amazingly engrossing storylines, but never before have you been presented with this level of meaningful interaction. You'll experience difficult and thought-provoking situations, including moral and ethical questions without a clear right or wrong answer. The Commander Shepard character is thus defined by player involvement, sublimely capturing the essence of role-playing."
• IGN (94/100): "Mass Effect is game that is greater than the sum of its parts. Technical issues abound, but the majority of Mass Effect is so expertly delivered that it can transcend its weaknesses. Applying number ratings to a game like this doesn't do it justice because there is no way you can ignore its technical flaws. Simply put, Mass Effect is a game that must be played. Then it must be played again. Don't pass this one up."
• Eurogamer (80/100): "Forced to stumble towards a conclusion, I'd say that despite the niggles, Mass Effect is most definitely a great game with an awful lot going for it - but one that doesn't quite deserve unquestioning praise. For what it achieves in delivering a compelling narrative and wonderful atmosphere, BioWare deserves a huge amount of credit, as there are few games that come anywhere near it in this regard. The dialogue system, and the impact it has on individual missions and the game as a whole is exceptional, adding greatly to the potential replay value. Where it doesn't quite hit the mark for me is in the action stakes. Although it underpins the game with all sorts of excellent ideas that ought to make it a deeper, more intelligent and immersive experience, the simple truth is that the minute-to-minute combat simply isn't as intense and involving as you'd expect from a game in 2007. Throw in some grumbles about the somewhat unoptimised state of the frame-rate, texture pop-in and v-syncing terrors, and it's a game that just falls short of our expectations. An eight, then, but a good one..."

Plenty of review outlets have given Ubisoft's Assassin's Creed extremely favorable scores -- GamePro, GameSpot, GameTrailers, and Game Informer all scored the game at 90/100 or better. However, certain outlets found the game less appealing, and judged it as a 70/100 -- 1UP, EuroGamer, and GameSpy -- and Penny-Arcade's Gabe isn't buying what they're selling.

"If Assassin's Creed actually was a 7.0 game I'd tell you," said Gabe in Wednesday's news post. "I also want you to know that when I tell you it's fucking incredible I'm not bullshitting you because we're running ads for the game." He then goes on to comment specifically on the complaints he's read in various reviews:

Y'know what? Usage of Robin's "Holy (noun), Batman!" catch phrase often marks any given blog post as pedestrian but ... what the hell. Holy Rock Band downloadable content prices, Batman! We visited Harmonix earlier today, but "mum" was the word regarding DLC pricing, but now we know why ... because they love GameSpot a little bit more than us.

Harmonix revealed that instead of charging 500 Microsoft Points ($6.25) for a three song pack as Activision does with Guitar Hero III, they would be releasing the packs for 440 Microsoft Points ($5.49) with -- and here's the kicker -- the option to download individual songs without purchasing the entire pack. Single track pricing starts as low as 80 Microsoft Points ($0.99) and can go as high as 240 Microsoft Points ($2.99), but the "vast majority" will be priced at 159 Microsoft Points ($1.99).

Some of the standout singles planned for release include Weezer's "Buddy Holly," The Clash's "I Fought The Law," and Radiohead's "My Iron Lung." For a full breakdown of the first five weeks of planned DLC for Rock Band, hit the break. Commence dancing in the streets elsewhere (or in the comments).

For months and months, all the PC fanboys have gotten their jollies by pointing out to the irrelevance of consoles by lauding the release of Crysis. There have been plenty smug statements of superiority reveling in the fact they've had to take out a second mortgage just to afford a damn graphics card to play the 'effing game (some viewing it as a bloody red badge of courage -- and not what it really is -- sheer stupidity). Because of all this noise, it's been had to pay attention to the game's actual merits. But, it finally releases this week, so the time has come to don paper bags to obscure our faces as console owners from the blinding awesomeness that is Christ-is Crysis, right?

• GameTap (100/100): "Ultimately, even with the sudden change in design style, and some minor quibbles (suit power, technical horsepower required for the best visuals), Crysis remains a landmark shooter. Yes, it's aggravating that the flat-out brilliance of the early early levels isn't sustained, but even still, the most that change did for me was to turn Crysis from a 'so f---ing awesome game' to a mere 'awesome game.'"
• Eurogamer (90/100): "This is a game that feels supremely engineered, like a precision machine, or a German automobile. It's makes Half-Life 2 seem old and frail, but by the same token it does nothing to diminish the imaginative achievements of that series. Crysis is impressive, but not imaginatively bold. Nor does it engage us like some other great shooters -- such as BioShock -- have done with their world and their personality. It's far better than Far Cry, and it's clearly going to create a rabid army of fans, many of whom I hope will plug themselves into the absurdly easy-to-us level editor and create us more single-player campaigns. Personally I'd like to see where this astounding world-forging technology will take us. And I can't wait to see what Crytek will do next."
• 1UP (80/100): "And on it goes. Stints in motorized air-defense systems ... that don't move. Low altitude flight in a leaden VTOL, where defeating drones dissolves invisible barriers no one intends to notice, allowing us to fly forward, fight off another three drones, dissolve another invisible barrier, fly forward ... Fast forward through scraps of miserable story and melodramatic dialogue, along with a 'boss battle' inherited from the coin-op class of '88 (see: Contra), and the ordeal is done -- beautiful throughout, mostly amazing, but vegetative by the end."

We've already traveled to the land of blue, bleak, and reek to check out Rock Band, so with the in-store buzz definitely there, we had to think a midnight launch would be coming -- and it is. 75 locations in 32 states open their doors at midnight to arm you with your "rocksenal," which is actually more than were participating in the Guitar Hero III launch.

So if you're worried about potentially securing a copy (thanks to EA's boast of confidence regarding their stock), this might be a possible solution for you. And after all that sweet unannounced, but coming DLC spied from the pages of OXM, how is anyone with a pulse not excited? Full listing of stores participating rest behind the break.

Sometimes, we almost wonder if gamers really wanted Assassin's Creed to actually make it onto shelves. Not that they don't want to play the game per se, but because they seem so gosh darn infatuated with that pretty Miss Jade Raymond that they couldn't bear to go a couple years without playing another game produced by her. End run on sentence.

Why? Because that equates to a decrease from the googolplex of daily postings and interviews on her game, her wardrobe choices, and thanks to some blogs, comments on the same parts one of hundreds of thousands of other women you've seen in your life has she's equipped with. (If I see stat modification comments in this post I swear to some higher power the outcome -- for you -- will not be pretty.)

Update: Microsoft has asked GameVideos to yank the video. Peepshow's over, folks!

WARNING: Unlike the sex scene we linked last week, this one can be described as "not safe for work," "not work safe," "NSFW," "NWS," and "not safe to play around female spouse." Any potential job loss, spouse loss, or sleeping on the couch that you incur from watching this video lies solely on your shoulders. That said, there isn't any Asari nipple to be seen in the video, so this is an FX level skin drama at best.

Unlike in previous years, Madden is not nominated for "Game of the Year," so already you know it's more credible. BioShock, Mass Effect, Super Mario Galaxy, and Halo 3 appear on the list, making up the usual suspects that'll be appearing on many an outlet's GOTY ballots, but some more unexpected titles might be crashing the party -- Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3, Puzzle Quest: Challenge the Warlords, and Portal. One question though: why remove the Best Song category the one year there's a video game song worth celebrating?

For a full list of the nominees, would you kindly peer past the break?

While Burnout Paradise isn't appearing on shelves until January 22, 2008, that doesn't mean we aren't already planning on taking a "sick day" from the 'stiq (cover blown!) to enjoy this vehicular destruction porn without interruption. The "Welcome to Paradise City" trailer offers us a look at the city, which is all available right from the start (know as "Freeburn").

That didn't fill up your tank? Why, then check out our hands-on impressions to satisfy your need for speed. Come on, turn those keys and drive.