Joystiq

The latest PSP firmware update -- dubbed version 5.03 -- should be making its way onto your portable pal soon. According to Sony's blog, the update "improves system software stability during use of some features" and continues the trend of ambiguously altering unspecified thingies.

More specific are the accompanying patch notes, which highlight the squashing of "security vulnerabilities in the system software." It seem likely that the infamous Gripshift exploit, which allowed the PSP-3000 to run homebrew application, has been eradicated. Where will the next buffer overflow come from?

[Via PSP Fanboy]

Midway's gasoline-guzzling Vin Diesel vehicle, Wheelman, has been delayed, thus becoming the victim of insufferable motor-related phrases like "it stalled," "it swerved" and the somewhat esoteric "it pulled a Mika Hakkinen." Regardless, the information being conveyed here is that Midway has pushed Wheelman's release back to March 20th, but has also promised to release a demo on the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 sometime before then. Assuming the company's still around.

A PC demo for the cinematic drive-em-up is also planned, though Midway couldn't say whether it would hit hard drives before the game cars ships.

We salute you, PSP. Much like a brave (or fatally clumsy) soldier collapsing on a grenade before shrapnel pierces the entire squad's fleshy bits, Sony's portable platform has kept the latest licensed game all to itself. Based on the upcoming Dragonball: Evolution, which critics are optimistically calling "a film," this online-capable fighter comes to us courtesy of Namco Bandai.

Featuring all the characters that fans will insist were ruined by the movie, Dragonball: Evolution promises explosive punches, unreasonably high kicks and Chow Yun Fat in surprisingly casual garb. Look for the manga-to-movie-to-game transition in stores this April.

According to an alleged Q1 release schedule issued by Sony Computer Entertainment Benelux, the PlayStation Network can--

Yes, that's right. Sony Computer Entertainment Benelux, which handles the European economic union comprising Belgium, Netherland and Luxembourg.

Anyway, VideoGamesBlogger claims to have received this schedule, which includes a PlayStation 2 version of PSP racer Wipeout Pulse -- due in February -- and a March PSN release for obese royalty roll-a-thon, Fat Princess. In addition, the--

What? Yes, of course we asked Sony for comment. The company indicated awareness of an "out of date" release schedule being mistakenly circulated to the media and could not confirm any of the games nor release dates. Even though Flower's already been confirmed for February 12th. The other ...

No, we're not being hasty. We're just trying to convey some information here. It would be truly helpful if you could just stop interrupting us. We're trying to write a post here. In the nice, padded room.

Though work continues on the upcoming expansion, The Lost and Damned, Rockstar has rubbished claims that a full-on follow-up to Grand Theft Auto IV is planned for release by the end of 2009. The rumor, which had its origin in the latest issue of Game Informer, suggested that Rockstar North was already preparing a new crime caper separate from the two DLC episodes headed to Xbox 360.

Speaking to Kotaku, a Rockstar rep insisted that there was "no truth" to the reports, relegating the whole thing to the realms of wishful thinking. With the second episode of downloadable content scheduled to arrive towards the end of the year, we're much more likely to see a bonus-packed "Game of the Year" re-release of GTA IV. We're sure somebody gave it a Game of the Year award.

Though we've always had to fight an urge to call them MOMs (massively online multiplayer-ers), MMOs have become an internet-bound force to be reckoned with. It's no surprise, then, that Valve's Steam service serendipitously bumped into Sony Online's mob of mmohs at a recent meeting of internet-bound forces to be reckoned with. They hit it off, one thing led to another and now it's all over the blogosphere.

A "groundbreaking" library of SOE titles is now available on the digital download service, including the EverQuest and EverQuest II collections, Vanguard: Saga of Heroes and Pirates of the Burning Sea. You'll also find the expansions EverQuest Seeds of Destruction and EverQuest II The Shadow Odyssey available for purchase.

As a special introductory offer, Pirates of the Burning Sea, Vanguard: Saga of Heroes, EverQuest Secrets of Faydwer and EverQuest II Rise of Kunark are being sold at "special" prices during the first ten days of availability. New game accounts for purchased MMOs will receive 30 days of gameplay, though the offer excludes existing game and Station Access accounts.

Well, enjoy the games! It was nice knowing you.

That's right, we just used "billion" and "million" in a headline. Clearly, we're writing about the game industry's North American performance during the month marked by Christmas trees, torn wrapping paper and men wearing fake beards. According to the latest NPD sales results, December saw consumers spending $5.29 billion on gaming, resulting in a grand 2008 total of $21.33 billion -- that's up 19 percent from 2007.

And here comes the paragraph where we tell you about Nintendo's unstoppable success. America bought 3.04 million DS systems in December and another 2.15 million Wii consoles. The best selling game, not only for the month but the entire year, was on Wii (and bundled with a controller). You win again, Wii Play.

As for Microsoft, the Xbox 360 did a respectable 1.44 million units, nearly double that of the PlayStation 3, which sold 726K. The PSP fared better with 1.02 million sold, and the trusty PlayStation 2 still managed to shift 410k units. Don't feel bad about its position at the bottom of the chart, though. Everyone gets a green arrow for Christmas!

- DS: 3.04m 1.47m (94%)
- Wii: 2.15m 110K (5%)
- Xbox 360: 1.44m 604K (72%)
- PSP: 1.02m 599K (142%)
- PS3: 726K 348K (92%)
- PS2: 410K 204K (99%)

Check out the software sales chart after the break.

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Activision Blizzard is the publisher you want to invest in if you hope to weather 2009's economic storm, says investment firm Lazard Capital Markets. (Note: They didn't use any terrible, meteorological puns when they said it and generally approach financial matters with a little more gravitas than we do.)

According to Edge Online, the monolithic publisher has been dubbed a "relative haven" for investors this year, thanks to "industry-leading operating margins, a diverse online and offline revenue base, several of the strongest videogame franchises, and a depressed valuation following the recent market downturn." We don't know what a valuation is, but we hope it cheers up soon.

Here's one thing we do know: When you're buying shares in the game industry, look for the safe bets if you're trying to find the safe bet.

There's a man waiting for you at the Bowerstone docks. He's eager to stick you into his aquatic taxi and drop you off on the shores of Knothole Island. Like most helpful RPG citizens, he's been roped into a fetch quest: Find a hero and bring him or her back to the island community, which currently finds itself immobilized by frigid weather. At least, that's what you gather from the chief's note, gracelessly read to you word for word. Whether intentional or not, the sequence works as a cheeky parody of the add-on's Xbox Live Marketplace description.

Is it worth the $10 asking price? Well, the truth is that your feelings on the main game will have already pushed you to the brink of a decision, and you just want us to push you that little bit further. We can tell you that everything you love (or loathe) about Fable 2 is on Knothole Island: the unwaveringly witty writing; the real estate opportunities; the charming townsfolk; and treasure. Oh, the treasure.

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Or rather, "Hal's Rifle." As many players of Fable 2's $10 Knothole Island add-on have discovered, the meteorologically confused island offers an anachronistic surprise within the "Box of Secrets" store. If you've got a pure experience extract potion to trade, this rapid-fire rifle (with an ammo capacity of 24!) is sure to complete that spartan ensemble in your hero's closet. Switch out those pesky Hobbes for Grunts and nobody will know you're playing a non-shooty game. Masculinity preserved!

Another futuristic, albeit considerably less charming, addition to Albion comes in the former of an alleged animation glitch. According to a PushingPlay blogger, the DLC's addition caused his character to cease walking and simply slide everywhere -- appropriate for the Knothole's (sometimes) frigid climate, but something we've asked Lionhead to look into. Check back later for Joystiq's verdict on the new quests.

Having tied up most of the Metal Gear Solid saga's loose ends -- an act that would leave most designers dead from inadvertent strangulation -- Hideo Kojima has allegedly been hard at work on several new titles. Previous reports have indicated that at least one will have a Western bent, and now the game designer's most recent comments seem to foreshadow a game that appeals to one of our most prominent traits: impatience.

According to an IGN translation of Japanese mag Famitsu, Kojima's next project could be out as soon as 2009. Which is like, this year. In a dialogue between himself and the Yakuza franchise's Toshihiro Nagoshi, Kojima allegedly expressed that at least one of his projects could be completed by the end of the year. The rest of his comments, however, were "a bit on the vague side."

Well, Mr. Kojima, we look forward to playing whatever you concoct next, whenever it comes out, regardless of what it's about and whichever platform it's on. Unless it's an iPhone music-and-rhythm strategy RPG starring anthropomorphic armadillos and set during the French Revolution. We hate those.

Update: 1UP has a more thorough look at the interview, in which Kojima expresses that his next game will be announced "relatively soon."

It inevitably leads to violence, which is probably why narrative director Odd Ahlgren says it's like "God Of War, but it's a lot more open and you have lots more choice in how to tackle these situations." He insists that the game isn't an RPG, however, and allays fears that action will revolve around grinding. The folks at Avalanche, who previously parachuted into the jungle with Just Cause, have yet to announce a publisher for the Xbox 360 and PS3 title.

Not that they should have trouble finding one -- it says here you'll also be able to pilot dragons. We'd be lairs liars if we said that didn't excite us.

Though we pray it doesn't foreshadow the appearance of giant mechanical spiders or Will Smith, Ubisoft describes its newly announced shooter, Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood, as featuring "the wildest West ever depicted." Judging by our previous exposure to Wests of varying wildness -- like in 2007's Call of Juarez -- we'd estimate that this particular West would have to be astonishingly lawless and violent for it to be considered the wildest ever.

Regardless, Tony Key, senior vice president of sales and marketing at Ubisoft, feels confident that another collaboration with developer Techland is entirely called for. "We're confident this new collaboration with Techland will bring an even bigger and better adventure to fans of shooters and the lawless Wild West," he said. Of course, true fans of the lawless Wild West will probably just be downloading this from Juarez sites.

Look for the wildest-West-ever prequel on PlayStation 3, Xbox 360 and PC later this year.

Hmm, how to convey this without spoiling a crucial element of Fable 2 ...

So, you know when that event occurs? The one involving the guy who wants to do the thing? Right, so, when he pulls out the thing and performs the act, you were undoubtedly upset about the change in status of that thing. Which you had but then didn't. If your hero chose the thing (but not the other things), you would then have been left unable to find certain ... things.

You know what? Just go read this thing about Fable 2's Knothole Island DLC. Beware: This golden trail leads into spoiler territory.

Finally, some Tomb Raider news that's about, you know, tombs. Specifically, the downloadable kind meant to extend Lara Croft's latest -- and commercially disappointing -- adventure, Tomb Raider Underworld. Eidos had promised two Xbox 360-exclusive episodes, with the first initially scheduled to arrive by Christmas. Sadly, the only things to be released by developer Crystal Dynamics thus far are thirty employees.

Though an official post-delay date has yet to be confirmed by Eidos, retailer GameStop currently lists a Tomb Raider Underworld "Expansion Token Pack," which is said to contain two Xbox Live Marketplace Token cards. According to the product page, the pack will cost $19.99 and ship on Wednesday, January 21st. If we were prone to bouts of speculation, we'd say that the presence of two cards indicates that both DLC packs ("Beneath the Ashes" and "Lara's Shadow") will be released simultaneously on Xbox Live at a combined cost of 1600.

If we were prone to such silly things -- we'll let you know what Eidos has to say as soon as possible.