Over the weekend, we bought ourselves some fancy new Octo-Camo suits. Unfortunately, the suit failed about one minute after this picture taken, as it became so effective that we got sat on by a trio of quite rude individuals. Check out the highlights for this weekend:
With the recent announcement and then following super double announcement of Square-Enix's plans to bring Chrono Trigger to this week's second place finisher, our minds began to to wander like a starry-eyed, formerly monastic governess, vacationing in the hills of Austria. If Squeenix can turn a 16-bit RPG from 1995 into a soon-to-be bestseller in 2008, what other 13-year-old franchises could we breathe new life into in order to turn a tidy profit?
We immediately thought of Pogs, which swept the nation like a plague of circular cardboard locusts in the middle of the last decade -- after all, the obsession with collection hasn't waned in the minds of our nation's youngsters. Unfortunately, Archibald von Pogstein passed away last year, taking the secrets of Pog synthesis with him. We then turned our minds to music, and naturally, TLC's "Waterfalls", the official HIV and gun violence-related slow jam of 1995, came to mind. The Joystiq crew gathered to perform a breathtaking cover of the R&B classic -- unfortunately, we lost the master recordings shortly before distribution.
We eventually settled on bringing back one of the top-grossing films of 1995, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. Unfortunately, Mr. Carrey's reluctance to tarnish his new "serious" image by reprising his most beloved role brought the remake's production to a screeching halt. Instead, we're planning on making Ace Ventura quotes hilarious again by incessantly using them around friends and loved ones. We're sure we can find some way to parlay that into a get rich quick scheme -- aaalllllrighty then?
We would love to get excited for the upcoming video game adaptation of the sixth installment in J.K. Rowling's wildly successful series of books -- unfortunately, our ambitions of striding through Hogwarts' hallowed halls have been sullied by previous lackluster Harry Potter titles from Electronic Arts. To make sure Half Blood Prince is as faithful and entertaining as it can possibly be, we've written up a quick cheat sheet for the game's developers to inform them which elements from the source material should be included when the game hits store shelves in November.
Epic wizard duels -- Awesome.
Magical puzzles -- Entertaining.
Exciting quidditch matches -- Compelling, if handled properly.
Collecting "Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans", "Chocolate Frogs", "Fizzing Whizbees", or any other form of magical confection -- About as enjoyable as catching a faceful of Avada Kedavra.
This week's big top story was all about Firmware 2.40: its release, initial hiccups, and then getting pulled down. A few people had some significant problems, but the majority saw their shiny new features were running smoothly. For those of you who were able to get this update onto your system, we suggest you start in-game XMBing and grabbing those trophies. For starters, hit up Super Stardust HD and read our guide on how to get those PS3 accolades.
"The features to be added in firmware 2.40 represent the biggest jump for PS3 owners, more so than 2.00 released a few months earlier. The key features of the update include the most-wanted things voiced by a majority of PS3 fans."
"With 9 Bronze, 6 Silver and 2 Gold Trophies, we're sure this is going to keep many occupied for quite some time. Here's our guide to unlock all the Trophies. Good luck!"
Nineteen-year-old German homebrew programmer "Fuzzy" recently revealed his latest project for Nintendo's dual-screened handheld; a portable port of Nintendo's franchise mash-up brawler, titled Super Smash Bros. Rumble. The above shakycam video reveals the early fruits of his labor -- so far, only three levels and one character (Mario) are available. It obviously needs a massive amount of work, particularly in the character design and animation departments, but it's a wicked idea. We hope that Fuzzy will continue working on this inspired project, provided that Ninty's legal juggernauts abide.
After much speculation and painful hours of sitting on pins and needles, Square-Enix confirmed that their chronometric teaser was, in fact, counting down to the big reveal of a Nintendo DS adaptation of Chrono Trigger. The countdown just ended, revealing the first pseudo-trailer for the game; following Squeenix's promise for a "newly revamped" version of what many consider to be the greatest RPG of all time, our hopes were high for a 3D remake, ala Final Fantasy III and IV -- though the trailer shows that the visuals will retain their charming 16-bit aesthetic.
The trailer doesn't show off the game's new features, like the new dungeon, wireless play and touch screen support -- though it does end by touting the Winter 2008 release window we'd previously heard. Hopefully, future media for the title will show us exactly why we'll need to purchase the game again (other than the fact that it's frakkin'Chrono Trigger) -- until then, we'll be anxiously awaiting Christmas morning, when we'll scurry to the foyer to discover that Ho-Ho has left us stockingfuls of heartwarming nostalgia.
Update: We've got the post-countdown trailer posted after the jump, courtesy of GameVideos.
While Japanese audiences will be playing Persona 4 this July, North American gamers won't have to wait long to wander the halls of Gekkoukan High. Atlus USA has taken time away from blowing things up with small explosives this holiday weekend to announce plans to bring Persona 4 to North America on December 9.
Sweetening the deal even further, the publisher also notes that each copy of the game will come bundled with a soundtrack CD featuring "select music" from the title, which represents the sixth in the role-playing series, and the latest to cling tightly to Sony's aging last-gen console. If, however, you're having trouble waiting until this holiday season to get your Persona fix, check out the game's English announcement trailer after the break.
Slant Six recently released a gameplay trailer for SOCOM: Confrontation, the series' maiden voyage onto Sony's current-gen home console. It looks faithful to the series' frantic, tactical roots on the PlayStation 2, though this trailer doesn't do a great job of showing off the game's new features and gameplay improvements. The graphics, though significantly gussied-up since its public unveiling last year, still could use a bit of polish -- though we'd be willing to sacrifice a bit of gussy for a steady framerate during the many 32-man multiplayer matches we'll be participating in. You can find out if it really doespay to be a winner when Confrontation drops on October 14.
Unsurprisingly, the source of the hold-up is the rigorous Xbox Live certification process, which took longer than Criterion had expected. Their new release date for "Cagney" is the following Monday, July 14 -- though this delay won't affect PS3 owners. Nor will it affect DS owners, restaurant entrepreneurs, professional poker players, the current Dalai Lama, or the actual James Cagney, who is, in fact, deceased.
Let's face it -- one of the main things that has set Mortal Kombat apart from its contemporaries throughout the years has been its inclusion of flagrant acts of grisly violence. When Ed Boon explained that the upcoming Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe would explore the softer side of the series with Teen-rated acts of pugilistic carnage, many fans were upset, as it seemed their thirst for evisceration would go unslaked. The latest salvo of screenshots for the brawler from Midway might confirm or ease your fears of a censored MK title -- no, there's no evidence of any impromptu spine-removal procedures, but there's pummeling and arm-breaking aplenty. Does the latest entry in the toasty franchise look gruesome enough for your sinister bloodlust?
In our interview with Diablo 3 lead designer Jay Wilson, it was explained that there were no plans to bring the long-awaited title to any platform other than PC and Mac. However, in the six days that have passed since said interview, a couple of Blizzard higher-ups weren't quite as dismissive of the possibility of the dungeon crawler making an appearance on our primitive gameboxes -- though the language used to describe this possibility hasn't exactly given us high-apple-pie-in-the-sky hopes.
When asked about a console rendition of the third entry in the Lord of Terror-slaying franchise, Blizzard COO Paul Sams gave an inconclusive "I don't know yet," though Vice President of Game Design Rob Pardo suggested a console port was "theoretically possible," as out of all of Blizzard's franchises, Diablo would be the most console-friendly. We guess a theoretical "yes" is better than an actual "no", or a metaphorical "maybe", but we're still not holding our bated breath for a non-compy version of Diablo the Third.
Given the subject matter of this week's Zero Punctuation, we thought we'd throw Yahtzee into the webcomic poll to see how he fares. Also, we're looking for the best gaming webcomic (strip, not series), so let us know your all-time favorite in the comments below.
Here are our picks for the week's best game-related webcomic. Polling after the break; be sure to vote for your favorite!
Those who enjoyed the economics-meets-explosions gameplay of Pandemic Studios' Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction will no doubt get a kick out of the latest trailer for the title's upcoming sequel. The three ExOps personalities we came to know and love in the first Mercs are making a comeback, and in the above video, Mercenaries 2: World in Flames lead designer Scott Warner gives us a sneak peek at how these well-trained operatives, you know, operate.
The gameplay looks solid, but for those of us too busy to watch a five-minute video on a Saturday afternoon, we'll briefly break it down using A-Team archetypes: Jennifer Mui is Templeton "Faceman" Peck, Mattias Nilsson is "Howling Mad" Murdock, and Christopher Jacobs is an amalgam of John "Hannibal" Smith and B.A. Baracus -- only he doesn't pity fools. He hastily shuffles them off this mortal coil using their own grenades.
490 (0.83%)
12,285 (33.57%) 
2,549 (99.77%)
