Will

*taps microphone* Ham.

Another way to annoy people, eh. So in.

This would go great with my pneumatic foot.

This is what Apple, Collective Brides of Satan, get for releasing a phone—if you could call it that (which you can't)—based on 1930s technology. Their "iPhone" can only be used for having sex with Hitler in hell, and that type of activity isn't endearing to the young, modern cellular telephone customer; Palm, my heretofore glorious masters, have observed this, and released a smart-phone made out of only the finest of scented oils. It really isn't that complicated.

As we can see in these fine engravings that Engadget has mailed to us all simultaneously, Apple's foolish, functionally-illiterate customer base has decided to stay home and drink bleach and die instead of lining up for a phone that they could just order online, or walk in at any time and pick up, because bleach consumption in extremis is the only reason said children would buy an i and/or Phone in the first place.

I don't think that saying their "phone" launch has fizzled is traffic-mongerey enough; instead, the opinion should be presented that the iPhone never existed, and that everyone who ever liked it, or didn't give a rat's ass about brand names and just wanted a neat phone, is a terrorist, and must be thumb-wrestled to the ground post-haste.

I just have my ASIMO take my dictation, so I have no idea what keyboards even do, but it turns out that I really want one.

I like to eat seagull brains.

This would go great with my gigantic brain!

Oooh, the.egg.and.we at gmail.com if you were serious, hehe.

Not only is it a Create, this video is from when the Create was introduced, in 2006—and was on Engadget then, if memory serves :D

Music for hats doesn't exist yet, does it? It will.