ChibiKawase

NO ITEMS FOX ONLY FINAL DESTINATION

So when did the word "homage" die off?

Stupidly fun games are still stupidly fun. :D

Plus, it's WiiWare-- intended to be a short little diversion or "refreshing" series of rounds against others.

One of my favorite parts from the GP "review" was this:

"[...]what does it say about the Wii that The Conduit doesn't blow Goldeneye's graphics out of the water the way Halo 3 outshines the original Halo or Killzone 2 completely destroys the original Killzone?"

I know it's GP, so it was already blatantly obvious, but still-- that was major clue #1 that Tae Kim is a massive idiot. I don't care how much you want to whine about the Wii's graphical power, but you cannot POSSIBLY refute the accepted idea that The Conduit's visuals blow Goldeneye out of the water. When was the last time Kim played Goldeneye?

Clue #2 was bitching about the controls, yet acknowledging that you can customize everything. Mix that with noting that they just tried to blow through it as fast as possible, and you get the feeling Kim really doesn't even want to -look- at a Wii. Like reviewing the game was some horrible chore, and they were just not gonna have any of that "oh i'll try this out" stuff. This would be the equivalent of reviewing a GTA game and not blowing up a car or two that wasn't outside of a mission(or hell, not even stealing a car when not on a mission).

And the final clue? "Terrible motion controls, uninteresting storyline and unimpressive graphics top the list."

...the two lone motion controls(which are optional!), and the unimpressive graphics. Is it asking too much for a reviewer at GP to understand any sort of context? It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the Katamari series has horrible graphics for the sole reason of being able to display thousands upon thousands of objects at once without ever removing a single one or slowing down. It's a game on a system that isn't as powerful as its main rivals. It's obviously not going to look as good as say, Killzone 2. But CONTEXTUALLY, it's absolutely amazing for the system it's on, and pulls off a few tricks rarely seen even in today's FPS titles.

I see it like this:

1.) The potential for the system to make for some hilarious glitched moments is high, meaning it'll be fun to watch for.

2.) Absurdly-built puzzles no longer have the power to halt you for ages, be they overly obscure or meant for those with reflexes of god.

3.) Leaving a game for an extend amount of time and returning lost can be recovered if the system points you in the right way.

4.) Bored/too wasted to play a game, but really wanna see and hear it again? DONE.

Use your imagination, kids.

Well, there IS the VC release...even though it's a bit harder to work without the N64 controller.

Because none of them were emo kids or overly hyper morons who can magically not feel the ball-crushing effect of wearing the same pants for two years while also hitting puberty.

"The controls were terrible and unresponsive, which turned every fight into a wild wagglefest[...]"

Next time, do a little more research before you claim to have played a game. You only moved the wiimote for three reasons in NMH:

1.) Switch between high or low attacks
2.) Execute a finishing move
3.) Battery-charging(especially if you just spammed the A button all through a fight)

I'd wear it out to the forest to search for an oversized ring. :D

Donkey Kong Country, due to the perfectly ambient music and still-detailed visuals. The controls and physics were great enough to make you forget about everything being pre-rendered. :D