Baylor

Dear Joystiq:

Do not encourage microtransactions. Under any circumstances.

"Unfortunately, there are the other two thirds of the game, which at this point appear to be standard third person combat and puzzle-solving fare."

Actually, the above statement is false. I played a few minutes of the game at a traveling XBox 360 pimpfest that was set up on my campus. Let me assure you that those two thirds are actually sub-standard third person combat and puzzle-solving fare.

I was so ready to be pissed off about the fake spoilers.

On a note more related to the actual content of the article, I think it's very cool that Sqare-Enix does spinoffs of their FF sub-franchises across different platforms. Tactics on the PS, Tactics Advance on the GBA. Kingdom Hearts I & II on the PS2, Chain of Memories on the GBA. FF7 on PS, Cerberus on PS2, that one game on the cell phone, and, oh yeah, a DVD movie.

It's great that they know that different stories and different gameplay styles are best suited for different platforms.

I'm modifying my own. Is that allowed?

There once was a PS3 fan.
A wii-mote he took with his hand.
Fannishly did he wax:
"You know what this lacks?
Real battles from ancient Japan!"

There once was a Wii-loving man.
With a 'mote that he waved with his hand.
Addicted like crack,
He lamented the lack,
Of battles from ancient Japan.

Regardless of anything I hear, I will continue to deny the Myspace monster. Besides the fact that so many people's "websites" push my bandwidth limits with Youtube videos, ultra-hi-res digital camera photos and sound files I do not want to hear, the vast majority of sites on Myspace push my "ugly" limits as well. No, dear, the bright orange italic 8-point cursive font is NOT legible on your poorly photoshopped, stationary, repeating background image of that kid who plays Draco Malfoy.

Am I being a snob here? Yes, probably. But I'm sorry if I've been able to "social network" (can that be a verb?) both on the internet and in reality just fine before the advent of Myspace. Got something you want to say to someone? Email. Want to say something back and forth with someone? IM. Like to blog? Blogger. Share photos? Flickr. MySpace offers nothing that can't be done more neatly, more professionally, and more advertisement-free somewhere else.

To be perfectly honest, seeing any company using a MySpace account to peddle their wares makes me think less of the product being marketed. It's like hanging a banner that reads "Hey kids! We lack the web design know-how and the marketing skills to generate buzz with a real website, so come visit our itty bitty tent in Uncle Rupert's backyard instead!"

I give kudos to Sony and Nintendo for hesitating to hitch a ride on the bandwagon. Real products deserve real marketing, not this lowest common denominator crap.

I've got one:

"This is living... if by living you mean a font being used to market Sears' new line of blue jeans for grade-school girls."

A bit cumbersome to be funny, but damn I hate that font.

I'm going to go ahead and agree about "leet," "teh," "noob," and especially "pwnd" and any numeral-for-letter variation on these. To be honest, it's these words and the culture of jackassery that surrounds them that turns me off to so many online games.

On a semi-related note, I do roll my eyes a little bit every time I happen across the word "gaymer," more because I find it cheesy than I find it offensive. I've seen the word more often used in (relatively) intelligent discourse on blogs and news sites than in any actual gaming situation, or in any situation where offense is intended. The sorts people who use the above list of intentionally-poorly-spelled words in-game, by and large, have other epithets to use with the same definition as "gaymer." They make it pretty clear that, to them, being gay is not a good thing at all.

There is a real culture of abrasiveness in the on-line gaming community, and any effort to eliminate words from the gaming lexicon should put slurs pretty close to the top. I shouldn't have to look for servers that explicitly state that slurs will get you booted. They should be the rule, not the exception.

I heard that the NSHESOGSUT comes with a jet-pack. I heard a rumor that Sony is developing a jet pack for the PS3, too. My friend, who works at Sony, and is actually the boss there in charge of everything, said they were making a jetpack. He also knows Hideo Kojima. I know because I've met him. Hideo Kojima. My friend told me he was going to cancel Metal Gear Solid on the PS3 and make it for the Wii instead. And that you could put the remote into your DS and play the game. On your DS instead of on your TV. This is so totally true. But he also said he liked what Sony was doing with the jet pack. Which is better than what Nintendo was doing. So maybe he'll change back to Sony.

You see, Wii is like a Jello Puddin' Pop. No, actually, it's more like Kodak film. No, actually, Wii is like the New Coke. It'll be around forever, heh-heh-heh.

...Bleeding Gums Murphy?

...Anybody?