john ketch

, most definitely my marriage would fall upon the rocky shores of Life Beach. Forget about it.

I got an opened canister of tennis balls, for which I was promptly made fun of by a TSA agent.

I would invite a hot dog vendor from GTA IV. Because, dammit, hot dogs are good and they belong at a feast.

A whole lot of rubbers. And an Earth homebrew kit.

If you've read World War Z, you'll know that the best place to be would be to holed up with a bunch of feminists on some college campus.

WHY IS MICROSOFT INSANE!?! Have they been to a goddamn Microcenter and seen how much these things are? GET A CLUE.

I like to wash down my freedom fries with an icy cold American Beer.

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turning my booze-addled rock liver into a shiny brown new organ!

Maybe some Gay Tony, perhaps some Plants vs. Zombies.