mastermaniac117

Well, there was this one time my idiot neighbor nearly shot my head off with a rifle. Near-fatal accidental discharge. The bullet passed right by my head and impacted with a solid *thwack* into the electric pole maybe two feet away from me. I seriously heard it pass by, a quick, wasp-like buzzing sound. The round was, at most, an inch from my face. My buddies stared open-mouthed in shock - I, however, began to laugh. I'm still not entirely sure why; I mean, a bit to the left and that little .22 caliber bullet would have gone straight through my temple and into my brain. They must have thought I was insane.

Funnily enough, that's not the only time I've nearly been shot. When I was much younger, some friends and I decided to play in the woods behind my house. The guy who owned the land behind my house, a dude who I soon discovered had some serious issues, decided to use us youngsters as target practice. We saw him step up onto his deck with a rifle in hand, and the moment he pointed it our way we knew to run back the way we came. As we took off into the trees, screaming all the way, I could hear the whip-like cracks of rifle fire coming from behind. He wasn't aiming high or low - you could hear the bullets chipping into tree trunks our level. This psychopath was - for reasons I will never understand - specifically trying to shoot and kill a bunch of 8 - 10 year-old kids.

Thankfully, we managed to sprint through the woods, across the field, and straight back into my house. I don't think my heart has beaten so fast at any point of my life. Some of us were crying our eyes out. Anyway, long story short, my furious parents called the police, and that dude got picked up straightaway. Found out later he had a history of mental illness and drug problems. I'm just glad nobody got hurt.

Man, people are crazy. I get chills just remembering.

So, um, was it EA who wanted to charge for guns in the original Bad Company, then? Sounds like good business to me...

Aww, see, now you guys have gone and hurt my feelings. I see I was wrong to critique Gearbox's sad attempt to inject humor and character into a bland, lifeless, story-free loot-fest. I'm sure you pitiful little fanboys still think the game's cel-shaded look is completely unique, too. Certainly not the product of Gearbox being unable to do anything else to make their tripe stand out.

Actually, maybe I just hit a nerve. It's okay if infinite-respawning hand-holding pseudo-RPG garbage is all that you're capable of playing - it's all the industry is capable of making, thanks to you. And there's nothing wrong with being entertained by grade-school Hollywood level humor - it's becoming all the more prevalent, thanks in large part to you. And who cares about something as trifling as a plot-line? The dev team crosses its collective fingers, hoping that the random nonsense following the tacked-on, ill-explained boss fight at the end endears the masses enough to spawn a crapload of memes, maybe enough free advertising for teh (inevitable) zombeh dlc. Because zombehs are epic ftw.

God, the games industry is so screwed.

In other words, it looks like pure awesome. Man, it's been a while since a trailer has left me so excited. I'll be watching out for this one.

DomoBraden @ Mar 25th 2010 4:31AM

You don't like Gearbox, that much I get, but I can't wrap my head around how this could even remotely be construed as being the fault of Joystiq. Please elaborate, because I clearly do not understand what you're going for here.
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Certainly.

"One could argue that ClapTrap is the most charismatic entity in Borderlands ... and that person would be correct. The penchant for dancing and demeanor of the robotic denizens of Pandora are a highlight of the title, without a doubt."

It seems like everybody's embracing this obnoxious little bastard of a character. There is nothing charming or endearing about a dancing robot that repeats maybe four lines total about 100,000 times each by the time you finish the game. Claptrap is no Vault Boy, no matter how badly Gearbox wants him to be.

It may be a little harsh to say I "hate" Gearbox. Nah, I don't "hate" 'em. I really liked Half-Life: Opposing Force - a game which, coincidentally, climaxed in a battle with a stupid-ass tentacle creature emerging from a portal.

I think I just explained my problem with Gearbox.

No. Just, no. Seriously. Stop it. Stop it now.

Gearbox sucks, wholly and truly sucks, at creating characters for their games. I used to think Rare was bad, but I'm afraid the title has been usurped. There is not a character in Borderlands, start to finish, that is anything other than grating, stereotypical, or otherwise, well, rubbish. And you know what? Borderlands' pitiful attempt at establishing a mascot was the absolute worst of the lot.

Shame, Joystiq. Shame.

Oh, and I'd like to congratulate Mr. Methenitis on an excellent, insightful article, as well as the people of Joystiq for providing a medium for its presentation.

Wow. I've never seen the words "deviant" and "contagion" used in such a fundamentally abhorrent and disturbing manner.

Welcome to the United States of America - where divergent thought is a disease...to be cured. With lots and lots of drugs, if possible. Remember, the pill is yellow. That means it makes you happy! Talk to your doctor to see if metholodoxihappyplax is right for you.

I was thinking the same thing. There was a kinda-sorta game section in the Dry Ridge, KY Movie Gallery that recently got the axe. I heard from an employee that Movie Gallery is under new management. Movie Gallery owns Hollywood Video, so... well, yeah. This guy is completely nuts, and I have no idea how he managed getting the job. Case in point, all Movie Gallery chains are downsizing their games inventories, and selling brand-new games for LESS than pre-owned titles. It's utter insanity.

@ ChuckJ: I most certainly was not serious in my "endorsement" of John McCain. I honestly do not believe this country could survive a second consecutive run with a Republican president at its helm, talking hand puppet or not. I must say, though, that I am truly surprised at the great majority of decisions Obama has made thus far. His laughable economic stimulus package stands as the single greatest catastrophe to befall the American nation since the ink on the so-called "Patriot Act" dried.

As for the actual subject at hand, however, I must repeat what has already been said by a million other people a million times - yet the truth still rings in it. Those in office should be thankful indeed that the majority of people - youth as well as adults - would prefer staying at home (and out of trouble) playing video games...as opposed to passing the time getting plastered, which seems to be the only other national pastime. And while I most certainly agree that all things should be enjoyed in moderation (and exercise, sports, and - yes - sex are among those things, contrary to popular belief), video games are much more beneficial than is often said. Gamers - for the most part - are more intelligent as well as more informed than the average non-gaming citizen who instead spends his free time having his brain pulled out his nose by the corporate-driven skullfuck that is television.

Getting to my point, and there is one, Obama's constant, ceaseless finger-pointing is nothing more than him attempting to single out the video game industry when there are a great many more evils that need to be addressed. We need to look at the real threats to our children, here, like alcohol, drugs, primetime television (only half-kidding). Or the predatory Army recruiters that now infest our schools like cockroaches, approaching and knowingly lying outright to impressionable children who are made to believe there is no other, or better, way. In a disturbingly large number of places, kids have to draw tickets to "win" the right to attend halfway decent schools, or face growing up in a poorly-managed mess with nothing but bleak prospects and under-preparedness at the end. The number of threats to our children is only growing, and that self-righteous dick of a president is standing in line with all the others, railing about video games? Give me a break.

I wish that wake-up call you mentioned happens soon. This country is not worthy for our children, and that's truly saddening.