OhJustSomeRandomGuy

Oh, I forgot to add that being an assassin to me also means taking a lot of hashish.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassin

Being an assassin to me means that I never go into town expecting to do the same 3 missions for 10 hours. It means not having one move that always owns whoever I'm attacking. It also means means that I don't make up some BS scientific mumbo-jumo about junk DNA holding incredibly detailed latent memories, because that would mean after 4 generations, our DNA wouldn't have our gender information, but we'd totally know what our grandfather thought of a meaningless 3-1 Cubs loss that cost him a whole $20.

You're absolutely hilarious. Can't even understand sarcasm, and you think you can actually tell what a good story is. You cay Persona's full of cliches, but ignore the mindblowingly huge plot holes that permeate every aspect of Heavenly Sword.

Sorry you can't take critical deconstruction of anything you enjoy. Go live in your Fortress of Solitude, the only place where everyone thinks you're right.

I want a sequel to the PC version, but on the Xbox. The game was fine (but the boss fights need to be far less retarded. I mean, come on. Flying through internal ship propellers with a plane that essentially brakes in midair? Come on guys.) but the plane customization was really lackluster compared to the PC game.

Termites was my first choice, too.

Beavers would work as well, I'd imagine. I will support your coming up with the idea first by not posting a rival idea.

What do I have to do to make things more clear for you?

In this interview, this one right here, she never credits anyone but herself for the writing of this game. Why is this important? Because if you honestly think your team is important, you mention them whenever the project is mentioned.

Obscura: Am *I* missing the fact that games are not a single-handed effort or is she,?

Who's the one that never once mentions her team members when asked about writing the game? It seems as if there were multiple people to blame for that mess, an interview would have been the perfect place to clear that up, no?

Of course, it could be like the cohesive narrative in Heavenly Sword, and she just completely forgot to put it in somewhere.

Fuck, indeed.

One person's taking all the credit and supposed accolades, one person gets the blame for it. Sorry, but, thems the breaks. (Do you honestly think the Writer's Guild played her game? No they didn't, for fuck's sake. She's Terry Pratchett's daughter, they just handed it to her and got the fuck on with their day.)

Jeepers: Sorry, but you're not Chuck Palahniuk. He's got much better taste than you.

Second, Pratchett won no such award. There are no masters in the field of video game writing yet, there is no "expert" of video game writing. She got an award from fellow fame whores who like the sounds of their own voices. These are people who simply decided that they were the best in the field and decided to toast themselves. Look up reviews for her games, or Call of Juarez: Brothers in Blood. Check the percentage of reviewers that comment on the writing quality. Now look up reviews for Persona 4, whatever the Super Mario RPG was called, Fire Emblem, Janne D'arc, or Tales of Vesperia. I'm willing to bet that the percentage of reviews that found the writing of the latter games good is higher than the self-appointed "experts" in the field. Do you know who wrote any of those other games? No, you don't. You don't see them picking up awards, despite the fact that their games are MORE critically acclaimed than Pratchett's and Orkin's. You don't see them writing books telling people how to write for games. You don't see them attending Comic-Con and hosting panels on writing games that emotionally draw players in. They're humble rank-and-filers, yet their work is more praised than these limelight cravers.

Does Lost in Translation feature a moment as stupid Heavenly Sword? No, it doesn't. I can't believe you'd impugn Palahniuk's name by claiming to be him while being gobsmackingly ignorant of the point of discussion here! Did I ever say giant, earth-shattering events need to occur for a story to be worth being told? No. I've never even come close to broaching the subject. The background, setting, and magnitude of the story are in most cases entirely unrelated to the story's overall quality. That's NOT what determines good writing and bad writing. However, one of the criteria of determining good writing most certainly is whether or not the story makes sense.

The core conflict, the very foundation of the story has to be based upon some rudimentary logic or every resulting conflict, plot twist, and event is rendered meaningless. There is no hope for the suspension of disbelief once you've established that there will be no logic present in your dramatic tale. (If Heavenly Sword was intended to be a comedy, a la Crank, then all of this would be fine.) There is, indeed, no point in telling the tale at this point. The scenario is based on a nonsensical, illogical conflict. Therefore the conclusion of the scenario is also nonsensical (You can't build a house upon the foundation of shifting sands.) and therefore, by your very own criteria, the story of Heavenly Sword is crap.

Jeepers: So, when it's my and tons of other people's opinions, it's just an opinion. But when it's an award which is based on opinion, all of a sudden it's fact, and inarguable. (Mostly because it supports your side of the argument, which is quite convenient for you.)

As I've pointed out, settling core conflicts by subtracting all logic and common sense is not good writing. It is a commonly acknowledged central tenet of bad writing.

Also, thanks for making sure that my statement has credence. I was an national award winning writer for a college newspaper. So, huzzah for me. I still write to this day. I don't have to put myself in their shoes. I'm wearing them right now. More importantly, one does not have to be able to do in order to be able to qualitatively criticize. To say I need to be able to Bend it Like Beckham in order to point out that the defender's missed his mark is absurdity at its highest form. All I need to do is compare Ms. Pratchett's work to nearly any game on a shelf today in order to see the deficiencies that her works possess.

And if you feel like I need to "chill" on these folks, you don't prop yourself up without expecting to actually have your work critiqued. It's almost as ludicrous as say, Heavenly Sword's plot. Or like being a 300 pound woman dressed as Wonder Woman, and not expecting people to tell you to put some clothes on. Don't tell everyone to look at you, and then complain once they don't like what they're seeing.

Excuse you very much, but I do not bitch just to bitch. The woman is a poor writer, and if anyone liked the story in Heavenly Sword, they didn't stop to think about it.

The key conflict is one of the dumbest contrivances I've ever seen in a video game.

Bad guy invades village. Captures lead's father.

Lead's father does not want her to unsheath sword, because it has a horrible curse.

Bad guy confronts lead. Tells her to give up the sword, or else he'll kill her father.

Lead unsheaths sword. Bad guy kills father. Oh wait, no he doesn't. He stands there and orders minions to attack instead, while he sits there, not killing her dad.

Lead takes advantage of the hesitation, and then strikes down bad guy. Oh, wait, no, she doesn't do that, either. She uses the marvelous powers granted to her by the cursed sword to...run away and leave her father in the grasp of the man who killed the people in her village.

How is that good? How is that good in any way, shape, or form? She could have run at ANY POINT during that sequence. She doesn't, ostensibly to save her dad from mortal, only SHE DOESN'T DO THAT, EITHER. She does the one thing she's been specifically told not to do to gain absolutely NO ADVANTAGE, and instead marks herself with the sword's curse. When you have set up the core conflict of your story to be absolutely illogical and pointless, YOU ARE A POOR WRITER. This is not bitching for the sake of bitching. This is textbook poor writing, and to make matters worse, the author of this incredibly bad work is traipsing around crowing about how awesome she is, how tough it is to do such a piss-poor job, and writes book advising people to write like her.

This is all within the tutorial section, by the way. It only gets worse. Along the way, you'll also meet a mentally retarded girl who shoots arrows. You know, just cuz. Heavenly Sword, Call of Juarez: Brothers in Blood, and Star Ocean: The Last Hope are 3 of my top 5 worst stories in video games for all-time. Maddeningly 2 of the 3 authors responsible for these atrocities have toured attempting to teach people the process behind their failures, and it makes me sick to my stomach.

Maybe you disagree, but don't you dare say I'm just hating just to pile on. I have a very justified and deep-seated contempt for this woman, and her poor writing colleagues. The second a story with one of them who isn't her pops up here, I'll be calling down hellfire in that article, too.