Darth Knackers

I hope Jade Empire 2 - if the game is indeed that - will follow in the glorious traditions of the original. Specifically, allowing your female NPC to fall in love with, woo, and ultimately become the lifelong companion of a hot bisexual princess.

Silly Microsoft - games aren't for girls! What's the betting someone's playing the game for her while she faux-giggles through the headset.

Maybe not, but the real fun comes from watching the comedy that unfolds regarding 3000AD's releases. 'Doctor' Derek Smart - who famously bought his doctorate from a degree mill - has a reputation from creating drama wherever he goes, rabidly attacking anyone who dares suggest his games are less than perfect.

'Throw all your "next gen, oooh-aahhh" graphics out the window and take this game for what it is - FUN' - then why isn't this an X-Box title. I had such high hopes for this game. But now I'm thinking of three words 'State of Emergency'