Deuce

What kind of story can they possibly hope to come up with that rivals the epicness of the threat of extinction of all sentient life at the hands of super-ancient, nigh-invincible, intergalactic machine-gods?

Acting terrible, costuming and effects terrible, production values terrible.

Basically, Felicia Day would need to have much bigger tits in order for this to have anything in it worth spending money on.

"Soul Calibur is the game that you would probably feel most comfortable playing with your non-gaming friends or significant other"

...until she sees Ivy's bigger-than-Jay-Leno's-head gazongas.

Oh fer cryin' out loud Nintendo! Just pay some former Microsoft employees a few million bucks to show you how to make 21st century online features work!

Sonic desperately needs insurance against catastrophic game failure. Then again, he probably should've thought of that before developing so many preexisting conditions.

Wait a second. Has anybody actually *tried* using these "translations" to decode any of the text in OOT or Skyward Sword to find out of it's legit? Seems to me that if it were this straightforward, someone would've figured all this out long ago.

Besides, all these games came out in Japanese first, and I believe the Hyrulian text is the same in Japanese and American versions of the games. If the characters really correspond to the English alphabet, does that mean the Japanese programmers have been putting English sentences on the signs and whatnot in the Zelda games all along? I guess it's possible, but that doesn't seem too likely to me.

@Roto13
...well, maybe not the biggest Internet attention whore of all, but definitely the biggest one who can't justify it by having a massive set of jugs

@Stevetrop Man of Mystery
That was even worse!

@TasticBycrom
Yup, the original Deus Ex had them, though it also had inventive ways of winning them (kill phrases for diligent hackers who had red Gunther and Anna's emails, for instance)

So they raised the land to the sky to get it out of the reach of the monsters, and then they defeated the monsters and sealed them away, but then they stayed up in the sky because... why?