Randall

Man oh man.

That was hilarious!

Uwe Boll, you've done it again! Comedy gold!

You can just imagine him watching the LOTR movies thinking, "Oh boy! I want to make a movie like that!" Martin, you're absolutely right: he is the Ed Wood of our day. If you've read or heard his insane babble, he really thinks he's a visionary making great films.

This is shaping up to be another "Battlefield Earth." When it inevitably winds up on The Sci-Fi Channel in a couple of years, I'll watch it for a good laugh. It already looks like a "Sci-Fi Original Movie," so it might be hard to pick out of their regular lineup.

The LOTR movies made it acceptable to be a fantasy geek. Uwe's movie will set geekdom back to the "Red Sonja" level. And shame on you, John Rhys-Davies. Do you have a gambling problem or something? After years of made-for-TV junk you were finally riding high again in the best franchise since the Indiana Jones movies, and you went willingly into a Uwe Boll LOTR-wannabe? Man, dinner theatre is more dignified than that.

Finally, some observations about the trailer:

Who knew medieval farmers were such kung-fu machines. I didn't think you could be that limber toiling in the fields all day.

The folks descending on vines made me think of the RenFest reject treepeople from "Quest of the Delta Knights." Suddenly, QDK is looking like a masterpiece.

Wait. Is this Dungeon Siege or American Ninja?

Burt's helmet cracks me up in every shot! He'd look less ridiculous if he wore a paper crown from Burger King. I'll buy Burt as a porno director but no way as a king. The worst casting since Richard Gere as Lancelot in "First Knight."

60 million dollars and it looks like a homemade fanboy movie. That takes talent.

Two words. Matthew Lillard. Wow. Graduate of the Mug-for-the-Camera School of Subtle Acting. What a spazz!

The Krug guys. I can just imagine Uwe's stage direction for these guys: "Just run like Peter Jackson hired you instead of me."

Ray Liotta! Why? Was Eric Roberts busy?

Wow. All this movie needs to be a complete disaster is Rob Schneider as the Odious Comedy Relief.

That faux-Matrix slo-mo is hysterical! It was at that point in the trailer that I was convinced this had to be a spoof. This movie is going to be a train wreck! Guaranteed to be hilarious!