Jared

Congrats, winners.

I just hope someone out there took the time to read my posts and get a giggle. I tried to spice them up. ;)

An Italian midget in overalls just jumped on and smashed my Red DS Phat then kicked it into the street at a green volkswagen beetle screaming "Eat turtle shell, Bowser!". I ran after him to tell him off, but he punched a super market bag boy in the face and was screaming crazy stuff like "What, she's in another castle?", so I had second thoughts about confronting a whack job like him and went home. My poor DS. :(

I lent my Red DS Phat to my little Mexican friend to play, but he was suddenly whisked away in a limo. I had to travel all the way to Mexico to get it back. You wouldn't believe the crap that happened to me on my trip. I was forced to get rides from these these shady characters. My psychologist says that my memories of word puzzles on these trips where probably just my way of blocking out the horrible molestations. I must have been traumatized pretty bad, because I remember talking to a bull and him telling me I was some kind of Spanish grammar Jesus or something. It was all so crazy, but at least I got my DS back. Sure, I ended up in a French prison for 15 years for trafficking drugs, but at least I got it back.

My...beautiful Red DS Phat.....
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.....
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which I will totally throw away if I win that new DS Lite!

I sold my Red DS Phat to buy a meat grinder for my girlfriend. She sold her puppy to buy me a DS game. Now there will be no gaming or puppy burgers this Christmas. ;_;

I have a Red DS Phat My Grandmother exploded in a horrible knitting incident, leaving her cat and it's newly born kittens without a roof over their heads. I vow that if I win this grand prize I will sell my DS Phat and purchase these poor kittens a timeshare in Cancun and possibly tiny sambraros. :3

My Red DS Phat brings all the boys to the yard. My DS is better than yours. My DS is better than yours.

It's dangerous to go alone, take this Red DS Phat with you.

A wild Red DS Phat appears! Select a pokemon to battle it!

A Red DS Phat attacks you for 23 damage!

Red DS Phat. Gimme a lite! :3