Want to be the first kid on the block to own the brand new Xbox 360 60GB model? Amazon is now taking pre-orders for the console at the $349 price tag, with a release date of August 4.

We can think of a lot of great things to sell our souls for, such as telekinesis, a swimming pool full of hundred dollar bills, or a seventh season of Mr. Belvedere. However, Xbox 360 Fanboy's Richard Mitchell (or as we like to call him around the office, Rich Mitch) recently showed his undying love for scarved ninjas by dealing with Beelzebub to get his hands on an early copy of the Ninja Gaiden II demo. Judging by the tone of his impressions as he plays the first seven minutes of the preview, it was totally worth it.

We strongly advise watching the above video -- not only will it get you totally pumped for the quickly approaching June 3 release date for the title, but you can also witness Rich Mitch's incredible proclivity for ninja flipping and henchman dismemberment.

Our Xbox-toting brethren at 360 Fanboy recently came across a list of Xbox Live Arcade titles which may be up for expungement in Microsoft's spring cleaning of their online store. The list (available after the break) includes all titles that fulfill the first and second criteria of Microsoft's new standards -- that is, they've been available for six months, and currently hold a 65 percent or lower average score on Metacritic. A steady conversion rate (the number of people who purchase the complete title after downloading the demo, a figure only Microsoft has access to) is the only thing standing between these games and a date with the delete button -- so if you've been holding out on downloading Shrek-N-Roll, you may want to pick it up in an expedient manner.

Those enlightened individuals who have experienced the rapidly metastasizing MMO hotel sim/social networking site known as Habbo (formerly Habbo Hotel) are already aware that the community for this "hangout for teens" is sizable, to say the least. Thus, when the Pixelated Nation of Habbonia endorses one of the current-gen consoles as being the "Console of Choice" for the teenaged, it resounds like the voice of a small nation -- albeit a nation of furniture-hording hotel dwellers.

Nearly 57,000 Habbonians took part in the survey late last year, where 69 percent of the pixelated participants gave the PlayStation 3 "great or good" rankings, followed by 64 percent for the Wii, and 58 percent for the Xbox 360. The Global Habbo Youth Survey went on to show that females preferred the Wii and Habbonians located in the Americas were more favorable to the Xbox 360 than their Eastern Hemisphere suitemates. Not exactly new information, but it is an excellent excuse for us to repeatedly type the word Habbonian.

Between the comprehensive in-game map, the GPS-imbued minimap, and the TomTom-esque functionality of certain vehicles, we've yet to misplace ourselves within Liberty City's digital boroughs. Still, if you find yourself lost whilst playing Grand Theft Auto IV, we guess this Liberty City map application (mapplication?) using the Google Maps interface would come in handy.

A number of user contributions have already been made to the map, showing the location of hidden items, easter eggs, pigeon locations, stunt jumps, and yes, even hookers, whom we assume were fitted with GPS locaters by trained prostitute handlers before being released back into the wild. It makes for a useful cartographical companion for those with a laptop near their console of choice -- if you don't mind ruining the fun of exploring the nooks and crannies of Rockstar's intricately crafted metropolis for yourself, that is.

Most companies in the gaming industry never really atone for their egregious errors -- if so, Nintendo would have sent us a check for the $180 in hard-earned allowance money that we blew on the retina-singeing Virtual Boy by now. However, our poor investment in Nintendo's unwieldy system can't compare to the tragedy endured by Nathaniel, whose personalized 360 was wiped clean during a RROD repair. Luckily, Bungie jumped to the rescue with an equally collectible Halo care package -- and a recent delivery from Microsoft served as the caboose to Nate's apologetic gravy train.

Included in said delivery was a handful of games and, most notably, a new 360 signed by the Xbox team, Bungie (including replacement artwork by Rooster Teeth Comics' Luke McKay) and, with the flourish of a solid gold pen, Bill Gates. Whether you call it an act of kindness or a lesson in public relations, we think it's a neat gesture from the folks at Microsoft -- a gesture young Nathaniel will only enjoy for the next four months, of course, at which point the button above Gates' John Hancock will blink a menacing scarlet, leaving Nate with a highly collectible paperweight.

If there's one thing we appreciate about a home console, it's prolificacy -- and for quite some time now, the PS2 has claimed top honors in that respect. Sony's last-gen system currently holds the console record for having the most games (with more than 1600 titles), which we never expected to be toppled in this day and age, where console generations seem to pass more and more like smoke through a keyhole as technology continues to advance.

However, according to Chris Lewis, the Xbox Vice Prez for Microsoft Interactive Entertainment Europe, the 360 might yet pass the PS2 in its lifetime, as the system, he claims, will play host to over 1,000 games by this summer. While this news may come as a boon to MSoft fanboys, keep in mind that this doesn't mean there will be 1,000 good games for the system -- lest we forget, for every Bioshock that makes its way to store shelves, there will be an unavoidable handful of Bomberman: Act Zeroes.

We hesitate to post the soul-crushing video you see above -- it may put a damper on your whole day. You see, many of us have fond holiday memories of tearing through sheets of glossy paper and ribbons to reveal the greatest present a kid can receive -- a new gaming console. To see one family pervert those cherished memories by presenting young Jonathan with an Xbox 360 box filled with clothes just brings us irrevocably down, in a manner that only "Beaches" used to be capable of.

Those sweethearts at Engadget are attempting to contact Jonathan and his rapscallion parents to hook the kid up with a real 360 -- hopefully, they'll send Jonathan's folks a little something too. Perhaps a wrapped-up, car-shaped pile of parenting books left in their driveway would fit the bill.

We all know that the Xbox 360 suffers from a fairly high failure rate, as we've all known someone (or been someone) who has experienced first hand the devastating effect of the dreaded Red Ring. However, many of us haven't seen the widespread effect this failure rate is having on the gaming market -- in a recent convo with Reuters, Microsoft's Jeff "Jeff Bell" Bell reported that retailers are having a hard time keeping the system in stock, and that MS is "running short of product here in the United States."

Microsoft issued their own official announcement on the matter in their response to the January NPD report (the same response that those GameDaily gumshoes discovered was chock full o' statistical gerrymandering), saying that "due to this high demand, Xbox 360 is experiencing temporary shortages." We can't help but wonder how much of the shortage is caused by actual post-holiday demand for the system, and how much is caused by the high numbers of Red Ring replacements being shipped out.

Then again, we haven't bought any 360s in a while; the shortage might not be as bad as MS is making it out to be. Has anyone had a hard time getting their hands on Microsoft's console/radiator lately?

Wowzers. X3F continues its rise to internet dominance this week with way more content than we could possibly compile here. With the addition of two new writers, we've got posts out the yin-yang. Seriously, it's ridiculous. A new Fancast, new Ask X3F, and a brand new community feature all await your consumption. We even take a look at all the latest XBLA releases, and that's before you even look at the news. Crazy, we say. Sup from our buffet of knowledge below.

Community Stuff

• Xbox 360 Fancast 055 -- Refresh
  New faces, new logo, same smell
• Ask X3F bionic love edition
  HDMI problems, Companion Cubes found
• Community Content: zombie plan edition
  Zombies are bad. Kill them
• XBLA in Brief: Poker Smash
  Not your typical puzzler
• XBLA in Brief: Discs of Tron
  Ummm ... it's Tron
• XBLA in Brief: Commanders: Attack of Genos
  Advance Wars on the big screen

News:

• Video Proof: Major Nelson is not Paris Hilton
  Funny, we never had trouble differentiating
• Rumor: MS offers free content with GTAIV preorders, launch purchase
  First downloadable episode perhaps?
• Bungie talks Halo 3 melee fix and new playlists
  Melee evolved
• The EndWar book is lying to you
  Better than Pachter
• DMC4 demo: over 1 million served
  Copious amounts of demon blood spilled
• Rumor: Fable 2 ships May 30
  Amazon wouldn't lie, right?
• XBLM to see Bringing It Home GDC content
  Just like being in San Fran, without so many drunken developers

We're sure that many of our readers have experienced, or known someone who has experienced, the death of an Xbox 360. If not, you have now -- every member of the Joystiq staff has suffered the bitter taste of the Red Ring of Death or a ruined disc drive. In the midst of this veritable plague of hardware failures, you may find yourself asking questions of your spiritual leaders and community pillars -- questions like: "Why did my 360 stop working? Was the system rushed to release? How do they go about fixing them?"

All of these questions and more are apparently answered in a recent article by Jake Metcalf from 8Bit Joystick (no relation), who interviewed a nameless "inside source" at Microsoft who was involved in the testing and manufacturing of the console. According to the John Doe, the system was rushed to beat Sony to the market, had purposefully cheap heat sinks (which causes most of the RROD problems), and, most disturbingly, there's a chance that Microsoft may run out of systems with which to replace those that suffer hardware failures.

Jake has proven that he's well connected in the past, calling the Bungie-Microsoft split a week before it was announced thanks to another anonymous Microsoft tipster -- but some of the claims made in this particular article are inflammatory enough to merit higher-than-usual levels of skepticism.

EGM's Quartermann (or, as we at the Joystiq offices like to call him, ScoopMaster Q) reports that he recently caught wind of a heretofore unannounced Microsoft project -- a sequel to one of their first party titles, which is being developed for the next Xbox console. Apparently, the game was being developed for the Xbox 360, but for reasons unknown, the company recently decided to postpone the game, putting it instead on their next system.

While it's no surprise that there will be another Microsoft gaming console (Xbox 720? 361? Ybox?), nor is it particularly strange for a company to work on games for a system before its release (or announcement), it is peculiar that this news, if true, comes pretty soon in the Xbox 360's life. Considering that Microsoft has repeatedly said that the 360 will outlast the usual five year console cycle, why would they start working on games for a new system just a little over two years after the 360 came out? Consider one of our eyebrows officially raised in skepticism.

Many of you might have noticed a bevy of problems facing Xbox live over this past week: An unresponsive marketplace, the inability to recover a gamertag (or even sign in), and aggravating matchmaking wait times, to name a few. Major Nelson issued a statement last night explaining that while there have been no complete outages of the service over the past week, "problems like this are not acceptable," and that they are working to get the service back to normal. Sadly, no time frame was provided on when repairs to the service would be complete.

There's been no official statement on why the service has been so shoddy lately, but if we were the guessing type, we blame it on the holiday season. We're sure that tons of people found a 360 under their trees (or candles), and immediately tried to hop online; only to collide with the millions of vacationing gamers who were already playing. Technology has come a long way, but the internet can still only hold so many racial epithet-slinging Master Chiefs before things start breaking down.

It seems like only a week ago we were writing a wrap-up post just like this. Oh wait, we were. This week we must stress that we have an awesome Fancast featuring James Silva, creator of the Dream-Build-Play winner The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai for XBLA. The game sounds awesome. Give the Fancast a listen and find out why. Oh, and while you're at it, why not get your shot at winning a Dead Samurai T-shirt?

Community Stuff:

• Fanswag Weekly: Dishwasin' Samurai Tees
  One of the coolest upcoming XBLA games on a shirt. Win it
• Xbox 360 Fancast 044 -- The Fancasters: Dead Fanboys
  With James Silva, creator of The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai for XBLA
• Hooray for a new comment system!
  Like them fancy Joystiq comments? Ours are better

News:

• Oh teh noez! Some iPods not working on the 360
  No Touch support for you!
• No more dev blogging for Jeff Minter
  From now on it's just life and Llamas
• Soft, cuddly, and adorable Xbox 360 plushies
  Your Xbox 360 made huggable
• SubSpace inspired Shred Nebula headed to XBLA
  Not just another space shooter. No, really.
• More proof of incoming Video Marketplace for Europe, Canada
  Buried deep in the terms of service it lies ... waiting
• Heroic Map Pack FAQs: Satellites and Forging
  Your burning questions answered

Gamerpoint addiction is a serious problem, people. Did you know that 1.2 million Americans buy awful games every day, just to harvest the sweet gamerpoint nectar that lies within? That's close to 60 million dollars a day that could be donated to charity, or, at the very least, spent on good games. We've got good news and bad news for these people. The bad news? You're going to be buying another bad game soon. The good news? You'll only need to play it for two minutes.

Apparently, the creators of Avatar: The Last Airbender - The Burning Earth (Avatar: The Legend of Aang - The Burning Earth for our European readers) thought it would be much, much harder to rack up a 50 hit combo than it actually was. We wonder when someone will start up a Gamerpoint Regulation Council that will make the distribution of points between games like Avatar and games like Guitar Hero III a tad more uniform.

[Thanks, jstroh]