Please ignore the noise coming from the kitchen, dear readers. That's just a little pot called 3D Realms calling next month's kettle of a conference, the E3 Media and Business Summit, black. Scott Miller, the head honcho at the Texas-based dev, recently spoke out against the annual event in hilarious fashion, calling the gathering "irrelevant" while confirming that 3D Realms' perpetually-delayed Duke Nukem Forever would not be shown. Shocking!

"In fact," he added. "I wasn't even aware it was coming up." On the one hand, we're left agape at the sheer irony of his words. On the other hand, however, this is coming from a company whose primary contribution to the industry is the poster child for inconsequential flotsam so – keeping that in mind – it seems reasonable that 3D Realms knows 'irrelevant' when it sees it.

Oh that crazy Duke has popped up yet again, kicking ass and chewing bubblegum as only he can. At least, that's what we think he's doing. Truthfully, it's pretty hard to tell from the latest tiny screenshot to emerge from the ever-elusive Duke Nukem Forever, which has surfaced on 3D Realms' site as part of a plea for developers to join the company's cause.

As for the Duke, looking at the screenshot we like to imagine that he's running to the grocery store, probably to pick up a pack of Stride. After all, the ridiculously long lasting flavor will serve our hero well while he, like the rest of us, continues to wait.

It's been nearly two years since the release of Human Head Studio's nausea-inducing FPS, Prey -- and subsequently, since 3D Realms' Scott Miller dropped hints of a sequel for the game. From July 2006 to yesterday morning, no news of Prey 2 had surfaced, leading some to believe the franchise had gone the way of the Duke. Luckily, Shacknews caught wind of a Radar Group website (which, for some reason, was taken down shortly after its inception) with some concept art and juicy, but brief, details about the game.

Tommy, the astral-projecting hero of Prey the first, will reprise his role as the brash protagonist. Blamed for the disappearance of his family, Tommy "escapes an Earth that no longer wants him for a future that cannot survive without him", according to the short-lived website. This short tidbit along with a single piece of concept art were all that Radar Group had to tease us with for now -- rumor has it that we'll be hearing more about the sequel some time this week. We'll let you know when that update narbuncularly drops into our hot little hands.

Though obviously lacking in details regarding the perpetually in-development Duke Nukem Forever, we can't say we're eagerly awaiting every drop of information (this isn't Brawl, after all). Still, we'll give props to Down in Front, who managed to corner the game's art director, Tramell "T-Ray" Isaac, for an interview.

What have we learned? Nothing of great consequence. The unsurprisingly underwhelming teaser trailer was all captured from the in-game engine using Fraps, and the game's storyline takes place in the near future, in Las Vegas. Information regarding release dates, or even general assurances that development in moving along nicely, are notably absent. Like we're surprised.

As a sign that Duke Nukem (the character) is still alive and kicking, 3D Realms has announced that a teaser video for Duke Nukem Forever will go live tomorrow at noon CST (that's 1:00 p.m. EST, or Joystiq Time). To tide us over, the developer has released a screenshot (seen above) from tomorrow's video to prove that it does, in fact, exist.

After over a decade of waiting, it's about time somebody released a teaser video of the game in its current form. Of course, the very word "teaser" gives us the impression that it'll be less than 30 seconds long and have little to no bearing on the actual gameplay. If you've been waiting over 10 years to see Duke puff a high-resolution cigar, then good for you! If not, feel free to join us in the Land of Expected Disappointments tomorrow (with well roasted crow on standby).

[Thanks to everyone who sent this in]

In early July 3D Realms received a violation notice from the ESRB, which has now precipitated one of the more public industry outcries against the ESRB. Scott Miller of 3D Realms spoke out against the industry regulator to The Hollywood Reporter after his company received "Internet Warning Notice" for 31 violations on their website. Miller was upset because he says his publishers handle all the rating stuff, so for the ESRB to send him a letter about violating rules because of old icons and no content descriptors made him feel like they were "sucker punching" game developers and that "The Dark Side is in control." 3D Realms' failure to comply would result in a $10,000 fine per violation.

Miller has a laundry list of issues with the ESRB and the way they handled this situation, but the ESRB says they are simply enforcing the rules the industry placed upon itself. The ESRB's Patricia Vance says, "Unfortunately, due to 3D Realms' lack of experience submitting games to the ESRB, it would appear that they were unaware of the various industry guidelines in place and the consequences of not complying with those guidelines." Was that a Duke Nukem' Forever dig? We're sure there'll be more scuffles between developers and the ESRB. The same way the film industry has fights between directors/producers and the MPAA rating board. But the ESRB will pretty much tell you, it's either their way, the self-regulated way, or regulation will fall to the US government.

[Via GamePolitics]

Remember when we said another Duke Nukem Forever image prior to summer's end would indicate an "imminent apocalypse?" Time to prepare your shelters because 3D Realms threw in a new picture of DNF in the latest issue of Game Informer alongside the unveiling of Earth No More.

The picture itself is rather non-revealing -- even more so than the previous two pictures of Duke and a Pork Nemesis. Over at the DNF forums, 3DR staffer Joe Siegler said that he cannot post a higher-resolution image online but agreed to the suggestion that the screenshot's inclusion in the magazine might get more people to read about Earth No More. Sneaky tactic, indeed -- at least Duke is being used somehow.

Just a reminder, we are now in the year 10 A.D. ("After Duke"), a decade since the unveiling of DNF.

The latest issue of Game Informer has details on 3D Realms' Earth No More, likely one of their two "big announcements" expected within the next six months. The title is being developed for PC, Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 by Recoil Gamers, reportedly made up of former Max Payne developers.

Earth No More centers around a New Englander caught in the middle of an outbreak in a town surrounded by poison, terraforming vines -- it may sound a lot like War of the Worlds, but these vines are (gasp!) part of a man-made catastrophe!

The game will play out without cutscenes, à la Half-Life 2, and the article (via CVG) claims that human interaction will be the focus of the title, "with a conversation mechanic said to rival that of Mass Effect." Bit of a bold statement, given that BioWare's RPG is still not finalized (or dated, for that matter). There will also be online co-op.

Earth No More is tentatively set for a 2009, or 12 A.D. (i.e. After Duke Nukem Forever was announced), release.

3D Realms has some big announcements coming in the next six months, but nothing about Duke Nukem Forever, according to new creative director Raphael Van Lierop.

"I can say that we have a big announcement coming in the next four weeks, and I'm not sure, but I believe we have another major announcement coming in the next four to six months," he said in an interview with Gamasutra. "While I can't say exactly what these are, are they about Duke Nukem Forever? No."

Since beginning the DNF project just over a decade ago, the company has managed to release 12 titles, which can be summed up as Prey, two Max Paynes and nine Duke Nukem iterations. Van Lierop said that their business model benefits from a "very collaborative relationship" with other developers.

If DNF isn't one of the company's next two big announcements, then we'll likely see another partnership, perhaps the Prey sequel that 3DR's CEO Scott Miller told Firing Squad in February was already mapped out from a "high-level story standpoint." The first big announcement will coincide with this year's E3 Media and Business Summit.

Fun fact: In the span of two questions, or 521 words, in the interview, there are 9 mentions to Duke Nukem Forever, totaling 27 words (with only one of those references by the interviewer). That's over 5% of the words used in that section!

Get out your magnifying glass, Grandma, because we've got yet another nano-image of Duke Nukem Forever via a job posting on Gamasutra. This proof of existence leads us to only one extremely logical conclusion: that to cut back on development time, 3D Realms is going to use a native resolution 200 pixels wide. Oh, how clever they are!

Of course, we're not serious (hopefully), but those still holding on to the dream of Duke have another blip of hope. A previous DNF picture came from a Gamasutra job posting in January, just three months prior. Should we get another Duke sighting before the summer ends, we may be seeing the warning signs of an imminent apocalypse.

Hold on, Wii! Your name isn't the only thing celebrating a birthday today! Well, it's not so much a "birth" day in this other case, seeing as how we're still waiting for the baby to drop ...

So, happy 10th un-birthday Duke Nukem Forever! CVG reminds us that ten years ago, on this very day, you were conceived and hurriedly scribbled into tiny notebooks (computers weren't even invented yet!) and from there typed up into magazines (remember them?) the world over. Sure, a lot of things have happened in the last ten years (no, seriously, A LOT) -- including some awards, you assiduous devil -- but we still remember where we were when you were announced to the world. Find out where after the break:

It sounds like brothers Jeremy and Julian Soule will bring music to 3D Realms' Duke Nukem Forever. 1UP believes so, and lays out its case with two intertwining pieces of evidence:

1. 3D Realms developer Raphael Van Lierop discussed in his blog about a recent visit from Julian Soule.
2. In an Insiders-only interview with IGN, Jeremy left one hint about his secretive upcoming project: "When it's done!!!" Okay, that alone would be enough of a confirmation since Duke Nukem Forever, still one of the most ironic titles in the history of entertainment, has kept to a release date of "when it's done."
   

Add to that previous relations when Jeremy Soule composed the soundtrack for 3D realms' Prey. Is Duke Nukem Forever really in full production? Minuscule screenshot notwithstanding, we'll have to see to believe it.

It's very small, you see. Spotted in a Gamasutra job listing and then discussed in a Shacknews forum, a puny proof of life for 3D Realms' perpetually unreleased Duke Nukem Forever has now been placed under the internet's collective microscope. "That's an in game, real-time shot of Duke standing in a random hallway," says George Broussard, posting on the official 3D Realms forums. "I'm glad some of you enjoyed it, and we'll show more later as we start to wake from our slumber and decide how best to show the game off."

For a start, bigger screenshots would be nice.

[Via Game|Life]

Although the title should be Duke Nukem Forever (in the Making), is it finally coming out? It was announced way back in 1997, meaning that there are tons of young gamers out there who have never even seen a Duke Nukem title, so they have no idea what all this about anyhow. Best Buy is listing it for sale now on January 2nd, 2007 for $59.99. They also claim that, "Duke Nukem is an action hero for the ages, with his big muscles, big guns and an even bigger sense of humor." For the ages. Yep, they sure would have appreciated this guy back in 1300 AD. He could've teamed up with Ash, ftw.

The listing is probably pure crap, especially since both the Take 2 and 3D Realms sites say nothing about a final release date. But, it sure makes us wonder. Is this thing ever going to see the light of day? Several key members of the Duke development team left 3D Realms in August, which surely hurt the work on this title. Your guess is as good as any if this listing is real or not. But for the adventurous readers out there, pre-order and cross your fingers.

Of course, if it doesn't come out, we're pretty much used to waiting at this point, as evidenced by a similar situation last year. However, if a miracle happens and it hits the shelves, where will we point to as the longest game in development from now on? Does anyone still care about Duke at this point?

[Thanks, Kurt & Tim]