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Come to think of it, this game sounds an awful lot like a hybrid of Project Runway and America's Next Top Model. Seriously, how are we supposed to learn to walk properly on a Wii Balance Board without Ms. J telling us that we're plodding along like a drunken elephant or a tweaked out drag queen with a case of the twirls. Anyway, good luck, designers. Make it work!

Much like the dreaded Kobayashi Maru, there really is no right answer to the question, "Where should I pre-order Star Trek Online?" In its ongoing mission to make games as hard to purchase as possible, Starfleet has issued different pre-order bonuses to each major American retailer. Want to pilot the Enterprise? You'll have to order from GameStop. Need a pet Tribble? Best Buy. How about a gun that beams projectiles directly to their intended target? Target. That "Liberated Borg" bridge officer you always wanted? Amazon.

And here we thought all we had to do to get the full enjoyment out of our games was buy them. Those days are over, friend. Check out the full list of pre-order bonuses -- and where to find them -- after the break.

Klingons aren't the only thing in the galaxy you should fear, as your inner desire for paraphernalia and in-game items could push you over the edge to purchase the Star Trek Online Collector's Edition from GameStop. The online retailer details the $80 package as including a small, metal Communicator Badge, an in-game Red Matter Capacitor that gives all of your ships a little extra energy and exclusive Next Generation and Deep Space Nine uniforms for your crew. You'll also score some guest passes for a few friends and a deluxe, hardcover manual and requisite special packaging.

Above, you can check out a new trailer showing off some of the ship-based combat and, should you desire a look at the full Collector's Edition packaging, you can make it so by engaging past the break.

[Via Big Download]

You know, the United Kingdom isn't a great place to go if you enjoy drinking. The folks there, they just aren't big drinkers. It's difficult for them to find reasons to partake in the time-traveling powers of alcohol. Enter: Allotment, a new bar in the Glasgow area that offers thirsty patrons live performance art, music and a bit of the in-between.

Right about now, you're probably wondering what this has to do with games. Well, this Saturday, the bar will be transformed into a living dedication to retro gaming, with a central theme of "gaming and morality." There'll be roulette and karaoke, some arcade gaming. But, more importantly, coordinators will envision a real-life Pong tribute in the space, allowing attendees to participate at any time in the recreation by simply walking up and changing it.

If you're looking for more information on Allotment, or tickets to attend, then head on over to the National Theatre of Scotland. If after reading this, you're in the mood to watch that awesome video of Japanese Matrix ping-pong, well ... you aren't the only one.

[Via GamePolitics]

Star Trek Online may launch on Stardate 63554.5 (February 2, 2010), but beginning January 12, fans can beam into the open beta. The intergalactic guinea pig session will take place from January 12 until January 26. Players interested in kicking the warp nacelles should head on over to startrekonline.com to enroll.

If you're also interested in learning more about life in the 25th century, check out some of Star Trek Online's videos and developer interviews.

Once again, Cryptic Studios is giving you a great excuse not to spend time with friends and family over a holiday weekend. The developer's superheroic MMO, Champions Online, will be free-to-play from November 26–30 as a promotion for the game's second free content expansion since its launch in September.

The free update, which is titled Nemesis Confrontation and launches November 24, will include new costumes and perks, and tasks players with escaping from a hostile intergalactic prison -- a mission made much more difficult by the facility's unfriendly inhabitants, seen above. You'll also face off against the Shadow Destroyer (the party responsible for your hero's unrequested detention) and even your user-generated Nemesis. Sounds like a pretty dangerous calling -- but nowhere near as perilous as the crushing throng of Black Friday shoppers that awaits you at your local mall.

[Via Big Download]

Atari has released some new videos of Star Trek Online. The first, embedded above, is a detailed look at the game's space combat. In it, the developers at Cryptic discuss the overall thrust of combat and also the many things that players can do to customize their ships. Everything from ship type to different equipment to a player's choice of bridge officers has an impact on combat effectiveness. Oh, and once again, there's a Borg cube. Only this time ... it explodes.

After the break, find a quick trailer showcasing the ability for players to visit their ship's bridge. Thrill as you watch your avatar stand up and point at the view screen! Just try to keep it quiet when muttering the words, "Make it so." The video also touches on ground combat, visits alien landscapes and throws in some phasers and explosions for good measure. Enjoy.

Cryptic understands that you have questions about Star Trek Online, and now, thanks to Massively, you've got answers. The Joystiq sister site got hold of the folks at Cryptic and got some answers to burning questions about the ships featured in the game. Want to know the gameplay difference between a Klingon Bird of Prey and a Carrier? Does the custom look of your ship affect its performance? Can you visit the inside of your ship? Head over to Massively for answers to all these questions, and be sure to keep an eye out for more Star Trek Online Q&A sessions soon.

We've got a double dose of Star Trek Online video goodness for you today, as Cryptic has seen fit to not only release part two of the "Future Past" series, but also a new gameplay trailer. The trailer -- handily embedded above -- is comprised mostly of pitched space battles and ground encounters. It's also packed with more phaser and disruptor beams than you can shake a tribble at. One more thing: Borg cube.

After the break, see part two of "The Future Past," which details the outcome of the Klingon / Nausicaan / Gorn war. In short, the Klingons are pretty much bad guys again by 2409, the year in which Star Trek Online begins.

We know you guys have the memory of a ... well, whatever the polar opposite of an elephant is in regards to memory. (A fruit fly?) So, we thought we'd remind you that Cryptic's made its superheroic MMO Champions Online free to play this Halloween weekend in an attempt to promote the game's spooky pseudo-expansion, Blood Moon.

You can download it for free at 1PM EST today, then play it to your heart's content -- or November 2. You know, whichever comes first.

[Via Big Download]

Excerpt from a Cryptic Studios staff meeting, Oct. 29, 2009:

"Okay, guys, listen up. I know we were all excited about the promotion we were going to run when the one millionth hero was created within Champions Online. You know, we'd take the lucky crimefighter and base a short series of graphic novels on him or her, ultimately culminating in a three-picture deal with Paramount and keeping the hero's creator -- and as a bonus, our game -- in the pop cultural spotlight? Well, we just heard from moderators that the one millionth hero was named ... Boner Dragon."

"Boner Dragon?"

"Boner Dragon."

"I think we should just do a press release instead. A press release which deftly avoids mentioning the hero's name."

"That is an excellent idea, Jeffrey."

If you've yet to acquire plans for this Halloween weekend to go along with your totally rad costume, Cryptic Studios has a pretty great diversion you may want to sign up for. Starting October 30, you'll be able to download Champions Online at no cost, and take on the mantle of the superhero of your own design until November 2.

The free-to-play weekend is being offered in an attempt to promote the title's first live update, Blood Moon. We expect that more than a handful of partially illiterate heroes will appear during the update's launch, and will be confused as to where all the sexy teenage vampires are located.

[Via Big Download]

Cryptic has put out a new behind-the-scenes video for Star Trek Online, in which members of the development team lay down the fictional history behind the title. The game is set to take place after the final Next Generation film, Star Trek Nemesis. Unless you're pretty up on your Trek lore, that's really all you need to know. For the rest of us, the video goes into thick detail about the various conflicts that follow, leading up to a massive war between Klingons, Romulans, the Gorn and Nausicaans.

Don't worry if you don't know your Dyson spheres from your Crystalline entities, as there are plenty of space battles and explosions in there, too.

When you're in the fashion biz like Marc Ecko you gotta be out there on the edge. So when he tells Destructoid that he's "going to f***ing make [Getting Up] again if it kills me," thereby distinguishing himself not only as the sole living human to want that, but as the only one who remembers it existed, you have to forgive him. He's got to be out there on the edge.

Of course, Ecko then goes on to claim that the reason for the game's failure was that "Atari shit the bed." C'mon Marc, saying Atari bungled something is like the opposite of edgy. It's just obvious.