Do people exist somewhere that don't own this system? If the Japanese sales charts are to be believed, then there have been enough Nintendo DS systems sold so that every man, woman, child, and dog on the planet could have one of these. And a spare.

However, if you are DS-less and have a hankering to get onboard with the action, and you have some rudimentary photochopping skills, then try your hand at the Nintendo DS/DK contest at SmugMug. All you have to do is paste the little guy climbing to the top of pretty much anything, and then submit it. Keep in mind though, images must be under 12 mb in size (good gawd).

It's a pretty easy contest to enter, and the swag is well worth the time, so why not whip something up and get in? We made one in just a few seconds (hint, it's the image for this post) so you should trump our skillz easily and submit it to them.

Check out the rules on their site. Also, the comment on the first (and only) entry that's up so far is ... priceless. Ahh, the internets.

MTV News' Stephen Totilo has discovered the first video game innovation he's ever hated: "blow control" on the Nintendo DS. When he was commanded to literally exhale air at the system's built-in microphone in WarioWare: Master of Disguise, Totilo decided, "I don't see the point. What I see is embarrassment at having to hyperventilate over my DS while riding the subway." That seems like the point to us.

Press the Buttons' Matthew Green agrees with Totilo, and calls Diddy Kong Racing DS the worst offender of the "huff-and-puff" games. "I did so much huffing and puffing to try and beat the clock that I made myself dizzy and had to go lie down for a while." From DS hyperventilation to Wii elbow, Nintendo really loves making gamers get in touch with their doughy, neglected bodies. Wii Yoga, anyone?

In an interview with LevelUp, Nintendo's Miyamoto hints that we might be seeing the Miis marching out of their parades and into virtual worlds similar to The Sims. Since Miyamoto didn't reveal much at GDC this year (in part due to shareholder regulations), they grilled him about his speech, and about Sony's PlayStation Home announcement.

While Miyamoto claims not to have seen the video of Sony's goods (which is hard to believe, you think he'd be studying up on the competition) he does go on to say, "I wouldn't be surprised if we also did something along those lines further in the future ... in terms of taking the Miis and expanding them, that virtual kind of Sim-type experience. It's something that a lot of people have already done and shown interest in, and we have a lot of people internally who are interested in that type of a project too."

We'd be interested too, as long as it doesn't feel like Nintendo is trying to copy anyone else's effort. Bring on something that allows us to take our Miis out of the house using the DS. Maybe you can teach them new skillz in some kind of game, and then bring them back home, or take them to visit someone else. Then they teach that person something new, and they teach two people, and they teach two people and then the world is taken over by Miis.

Check out the full article for the details, as well as Miyamoto's description of bizarre-sounding game called Love and Berry.

Tired of your Nintendo DS looking sad and forlorn in it's simple plastic shell? Ready to upgrade that sucker to ultra-executive wannabe? Then wrap it in leather with primo stitching, and fool everyone in the boardroom into thinking you've got some fancy new PDA, while you secretly unravel the secrets in Hotel Dusk: Room 215.

Sister site DS Fanboy has the goods on the covers for the DS only, which appear to come in dark brown and ... light brown from Cataloger (Japan). What, no black? C'mon, we need a black leather case for our black DS lite with black stylus. Fortunately, you can pick up a black and tan (delicious) case for your DS Lite over at Play-Asia, where Hori has three different shades going on, plus a nifty retaining strap.

When you start buying accessories that are more expensive than what's inside, then it might be time for a little self-examination. Then again, we just can't help ourselves.

[Thanks, Anon I Mousse]

Wait, you didn't know? The future is where all the fun is. It's where children laugh in unceasing delight, merrily skipping through the radioactive wastelands with their DS Lites held tightly in at least one of their seven hands. Indeed, a copy of Hotel Dusk is just the thing to idle the day away and distract from the impending threat of multi-headed toaster beasts roaming the world.

Thus is the picture painted by a recent EB Games flyer posted in the NeoGAF forums, urging consumers to trade in the past and embrace a more touchy-feely sort of future. As if hurling the PSP into "the past" wasn't confusing enough, the original version of the DS also finds itself traveling through time. Doesn't that create some sort of inconceivable time paradox?

CheapyD over at CheapAssGamer.com has put together a really nice little video review about the Play Stand DS Lite from Hori. We were dubious at first, but after watching this review, we've ordered one ourselves from Play-Asia, to the tune of fifteen bucks.

This little sucker will make playing games with one hand a snap, and it also looks swanky as well. Cradle your DS Lite in some goodness, and wait patiently for the SimCity DS game to come out. It has the ability to hold the DS Lite horizontally and vertically, so basically any of your games will look sweet in its plastic and foam goodness.

Nice work, CheapyD. Now we'll wait patiently for this to arrive so we can pimp out Animal Crossing: Wide World as it was meant to be seen.

Though the extra cost to paint an industrial-strength sticker is probably minimal, it's not like Nintendo needs any help selling the consoles in Japan. A release outside of Japan is very unlikely for the limited edition console, so those desperate for a unit will have to import. However, we have a better suggestion: wait for someone to post a high-resolution image and then make your own sticker to put on that DS Lite (or DS Phat) you're already using.

Nintendo has honored 100 grandparents, from 54-year-old Rubin, a professional racquetball player from Staten Island, to 104-year-old Waldo, a beekeeper and author living in Kansas. Recipients of the prestigious honor, which included a DS Lite and copy of Brain Age, were selected by the Grandparent Marketing Group on the basis of "agelessness"; that is, each honoree represents someone who defies stereotypes associated with the elderly. "They refuse to act their age. They think young, and therefore they act young. Brain Age is one more tool in their anti-aging arsenal," explained Nintendo's George Harrison.

The 'Ageless American' honor is just Nintendo's latest promotional tactic, part of the Touch Generations campaign, which seeks to tap into the 55-and-up gamer demographic (reportedly accounting for 25% of the total gaming population). This past August, Nintendo hosted a Grandparent's Day competition in New York City -- sadly, despite weeks of practice, President Bush was not eligible to compete.

Imitation is the best form of flattery: Japanese mobile phone operator NTT DoCoMo has unveiled the Mitsubishi-built D800iDS, yes, a dual-screened celly that features a touch screen in place of a keypad. The D800i will even include a PictoChat-like utility, allowing users to exchange hand-written messages and crude drawings. As pictured, games will also be a key component of the new phone, which will debut in white, just as DS Lite did.

DS Lite has owned Japanese sales charts since its launch (the thing prints money, really). But can Nintendo's success be so easily duplicated in the mobile phone market?

Nintendo has a nice gaming advent calendar online called "Mission in Snowdriftland." Each little window opens a minigame into a snowbound Mario-esque world, and you guide a snowman around collecting snowflakes. It's simple and fun, and the music ain't half bad either. Sure, there are ads pimping Nintendo games in the bottom right hand window, but it's a small price to pay for a sweet little gaming diversion in your web browser.

[Thanks, Paul]

Bad news for couch potatoes that thought they were going to game themselves into brilliance (or at least game into old age, safe from senility). Researchers now say that crosswords (and other brain games) and all that are fine, but nothing works quite as well as three hours a week of aerobic excercise, according to the Wall Street Journal.

"As little as three hours a week of aerobic exercise increased the brain's volume of gray matter (actual neurons) and white matter (connections between neurons), they report in the November issue of the Journal of Gerontology: Medical Sciences. "After only three months," says Prof. Kramer, "the people who exercised had the brain volumes of people three years younger."

In other words, don't count on Dr. Kawashima to keep your wetware healthy. You'll have to get off your toucas and move more than just your thumbs. Of course, there's no reason why you can't whip out a DS while on the stairmaster and enjoy compound benefits (see World of Warcraft + exercise bike setup above).

Nintendo's apologizing to European customers because they've had to temporarily switch to cardboard game boxes as a result of shortages afflicting that territory, according to Gamasutra's David Jenkins. Nintendo, ever sensitive to gamer needs (and we can't fault them there), is tossing a coupon into paper boxes offering customers a plastic case once supply issues have been resolved.

We admit, those are some high quality plastic cases, but c'mon. The DS cartridge is tiny and holds just 128 megabytes of content. Does it really need to ship with plastic that weighs many times more than the product (3.5 grams)? It's environmentally irresponsible. We understand that large game cases help titles fight for attention on a retail shelf, but there's no reason that they can't do that fighting using more responsible materials.

Comprised of bits, games should be the most environmentally-friendly products to distribute. Nintendo (and other industry players) should use this opportunity to examine packaging.

Baldur's Gate and Knights of the Old Republic developer BioWare has announced that their newly-formed handheld game development group is working on an untitled Nintendo DS project. No further details about the game have been revealed, but this will be the Canadian developer's first handheld effort, and they currently have some open positions in the group.

Known primarily for their deep, engaging role-playing titles, BioWare had recently sent out a community survey soliciting fan interest in handheld versions of their previous Dungeons & Dragons and Star Wars-based games. However, given the company's new focus on homegrown properties, it's more likely we can expect a portable derivative of Jade Empire, Mass Effect, or Dragon Age. What do you think it will be?

Dave wrote us to show off his homemade DS Lite case, assembled with $1 worth of fabric, a rustic buckle, some matching thread, and a Ziploc bag (waterproof inner lining). But Dave can't take all the credit ... his girlfriend provided the sewing skills.

Dave's work is the latest in a series of creative storage options that we've featured on Joystiq. From worn jeans, to the PSP sleeve, to an old sock, gamers are finding all kinds of ways to protect their Lites -- excluding, of course, throwing down for an often ugly, usually oversized, and almost always overpriced case sold at retailers. So how do you choose to protect your handhelds?