Call it a hunch, but we're not convinced that UK television presenter, Anne Diamond, is an ideal choice to "review" games which she says make her "hair stand on end." Though she brushes off several titles which are "so mindless it would be hard to see them as a destructive influence," the ones with "gratuitous use of violence and bloodthirsty imagery" really draw her ire. Honestly, we'd be bitter too if we had copies of Dead Rising LODGED IN OUR SHOULDERS.
In a response to Thursday's publication of a Dr. Tanya Byron-led review of video game violence, the UK's Daily Mail has delivered a one-two punch of sensationalist misinterpretation ("allowing children to play on computers unsupervised is as dangerous as letting them play outside on their own") and misguided scaremongering, offering the task of analyzing and rating already-rated violent video games to Diamond. Her "chilling" verdicts are all neatly assembled below a snap of kids playing the infinitely sinister Mario Kart 64.
After glossing over Dead or Alive 4 (she wasn't keen on playing as "a martial artist in the fantasy Ninja-style mode"), she becomes truly horrified by a game that "wallows in violence for violence's sake." This dubious honor goes to Resident Evil 4 which, in case you forgot, is about "a cataclysmic chemical attack" spawning legions of zombies which "don't stop until you shoot them in the face or slash their arms off."
"This game shouldn't be allowed to be sold, even adults," says a Diamond in the rush to pass judgment. After being "stabbed to death with pitchforks amid fountains of [her] own blood," she calls it quits and declares, "This kind of violence can only be bad for you." Well, that's what the healing herbs are for, Anne.
We're not sure how he does it or how long it takes him, but animator and generally insane fight choreographer "Montyoum" has once again delved into the many unwritten volumes of fan fiction buried inside our minds and rendered each page in startling, over-the-top clarity. After allowing Samus and Master Chief to find love on the battlefield, Montyoum orchestrated a crossover between the elaborately endowed gals of Dead or Alive and a trio of Final Fantasy femme fatales, labeling the ludicrous result "Dead Fantasy."
Above you'll find the sequel, an even bigger display of absurd acrobatics, imaginative pummeling and blissful ignorance of the laws of physics. We love it.
It's been a while since we noticed a gaming site go straight for the Maxim demographic full force, but boy did GameDaily ever do it with its "Boobs through the Years" pictorial. Twelve pictures of boobs (eleven women and one man) from the last 30 years of gaming litter this feature. The Soul Calibur IV breasts, which are certainly the most gratuitous in recent memory, get the feature bouncing along.
Once again, the piece is so base, but the site sure did get creative with some of the descriptions. For example, Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 (pictured) is described as having mammary glands where each have their own "mother brain." And don't forget about Rachel from Ninja Gaiden's "heaving mounds of fury." Oh mercy, time to go make a donation to the Girl Scouts on GameDaily's behalf.
After pitting Master Chief and Samus against each other, animator Monty Oum now renders the results of the Final Fantasy universe intersecting with Tomonobu Itagaki's fighting franchise, Dead or Alive. If you take issue with saucer-eyed women pummeling each other in ways that defy logic and gravity, avert your eyes and hide your children (advent or otherwise) before the interminable Matrix music kicks in.
Why are Kasumi and Yuna so upset with one another? Why are bullets so utterly useless? Why hasn't someone made Super Smash Sisters yet? Clearly, we're asking way too many questions. Just enjoy the mad choreography and know that if it's anything like Haloid, love can eventually bloom on the battlefield.
We caught up with Tomonobu Itagaki at the recent Championship Gaming Series North American World Series Final (try printing that on a hat) in Manhattan Beach recently, and we asked him a few questions. Although he'd had a few beers, we didn't get him to pin down a date or a console for Ninja Gaiden 2, curse you weak American beer!
Yes, he was wearing his patent black leather jacket and sunglasses, and no he didn't take them off. Even when it got dark. They might be permanently welded to his face at this point. While he's known for being outspoken and critical to the extreme (especially if your game has the word Tekken in the title), when we asked him about Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword, he actually handed over his DS to us and let us play through an early build of the game, more on that soon.
This weekend's box office numbers show earnings for the movie dropping off an incredible 91.9 percent to just over $21,000. Total. For the whole country. For reference, top-earner Evan Almighty made that much off just three of its 3,604 opening screens. The 54th-most popular movie for the weekend, DoA was shown in just 98 theaters, earning an average $214 per screen. For even more context, action flick 300 was shown in 140 theaters and averaged $737 per showing despite being four months old.
Granted, DoA was a low-budget popcorn flick with no big names attached and next to no advertising. Still, what does this unmitigated flop say about the prospects of other upcoming, game-based movies like Prince of Persia or Spy Hunter ... or Metal Gear Solid or Diablo ... or City of Heroes or The Sims? They can't all be Tomb Raider, after all.
Recently spared from a straight-to-DVD release, the Dead or Alive movie limped into theaters this weekend without anyone much noticing or caring. The film earned $232,200 from 505 screens, finishing the weekend behind months-old thriller Disturbia and art house favorite La Vie en Rose. It's a sad day for our country when audiences would rather watch a subtitled French love story than see girls in bikinis kicking each other.
Given the reviews, it's not that surprising that audiences stayed away in droves. Rotten Tomatoes' rating page, which gives the movie a score of 46 percent, is punctuated with quotes like "unquestionably brain dead" and "a genuinely terrible film." And those are from some of the good reviews.
Were you ever curious what it feels like to almost dodge a bullet? Finish this paragraph. Ain't It Cool News is reporting that, after speculation that it would be headed straight to DVD, the Dead or Alivemovie will be released to theaters on June 15.
Sure, you may not be thrilled about it, but there are plenty of people who have reason to crow. For example, My Name Is Earl fans, driven mad by the summer hiatus, can squint their eyes during Jamie Pressley's scenes and pretend they're watching lost episodes. Also, the producers of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer must be stoked that they're definitely not putting out the worst movie that week. We've included the trailer after the break to help get you totally pumped for staying home that weekend.
Insert your own jiggling pun here, EGM is reporting the rumor that Team Ninja's crafting a new Dead or Alive title that will be exclusive to the PS3. There's no word on if this is a new branch of the series or the Dead or Alive 5 that alleged joker, smoker and midnight poker Tomonobu Itagaki confirmed last November.
Also slipping from Quarterman's silver tongue: Capcom may be working on a new version of the original Mega Man, remade for the PlayStation Network (what's the appropriate gift for the 100th Mega Man? Glass? Sapphire?). Oh, and, lest we forget, Q says a new Disgaea for PS3 and a new Kingdom Hearts (not Kingdom Hearts 3) are on the way. What's that? You want more? Well, only the first hit is free: You'll have to buy this month's EGM for more details.
Microsoft is ushering in the (Lunar) New Year with a pair of discounted Xbox 360 game packs. One set includes Project Gotham Racing 3 and Ridge Racer 6; the other, Dead or Alive 4 and Dead or Alive Xtreme 2. The 'Year of the Boar' branded bundles are being sold in Taiwan, where Xbox 360 launched last March. At $1,490 TWD (about $45 USD) a pop, the festive fun-packs aren't screaming "buy me" -- at least from our perspective. We're looking at three launch titles that have since been bargain-binned and a virtual peep show. This the best Microsoft could scoop outta the over-manufactured heap? Or do these hit the "target"?
The flurry of legal blows between Dead or Alive designer, Tomonobu Itagaki, and the alleged target of his devastating groping attacks continue this week with demotions being handed out and countersuits being considered. Earlier this month, Itagaki fell into the dubious spotlight after a woman, previously working under him at Tecmo, filed charges of sexual harassment. Though it was somewhat unclear at the time, it was implied that Itagaki had been demoted and that his employers wanted nothing more than to sweep the whole affair under the rug.
A Gamespot report details Tecmo's official response, which is firmly on the side of the eccentric (and occasionally drunk) developer. "The alleged sexual harassment of the former employee by Itagaki never took place, and Tecmo did not issue an unjustified notice of dismissal to the former employee." The company insists that the female employee left of her own volition following an internal investigation.
Their own conclusion was that her actions stemmed from personal problems, despite the fact that she and Itagaki "mingled personal affairs with their corporate responsibilities." They were both demoted and had their salaries chopped down. Meanwhile, Itagaki is planning to launch a countersuit in order to avenge his pristine and generally likeable reputation.
A fifth Dead or Alive is in development -- no surprise. That DOA creator, on-the-job drinker, and overly-friendly coworker Tomonobu Itagaki made the announcement at the DOA 10th anniversary party among a throng of supporters made us giddy. After all, after the sexual harassment charges we weren't sure whether he had been demoted or somehow shuffled in the background. But there he was, wine glass and sunglasses in tow.
Not much was revealed, except that Itagaki has a few ideas circling in his head, he's planning on axing the Tag Team system, and he already knows how the opening cinematic will begin. No console was mentioned, but we're placing our bets on another Xbox 360 iteration. After five of the most recent DOA titles (including two softcore simulators) have been Microsoft exclusives, we think the odds are in our favor.
"Hey baby, can I buy you a drink?" "I don't think so." "You just performed a ten-hit combo ... on my heart." "Oh dear lord." "I wanna put you in a counter hold of love." "Physical violence. I'm strongly considering it." "Do you kick high?"
The lead developer of the Dead or Alive series and the forthcoming ball jostling, highbrow-raising epic, Dead or Alive Xtreme 2, has been charged with sexual harassment. This one practically writes itself. In the interest of readability and undeniably smug tone, however, rest assured that a human being (more or less) has written all the text that follows. As if drinking on the job and speaking ill of competitors wasn't enough to convince you that Tomonobu Itagaki was a complete failure at being a Japanese stereotype, you may now append "allegedly harasses female ex-employees" to the list (and then note how much better that is than "harasses ex-female employees").
According to Japan's ZakZak and Gamebrink, the Dead or Alive mastermind has been slapped with a 10 million yen ($85,000) sexual harassment charge by a woman claiming to have endured and dodged his wily hands for the duration of her employment between 2003 and September 2006. Itagaki has admitted to having the relationship (much to the chagrin of his wife and kids, no doubt) but insists that the supposed mammary molestation was completely consensual. The reports also imply that Itagaki has been demoted within Team Ninja, a move which could be interpreted as a slap on the wrist or a swift shove out of the spotlight.
It looks like the latter tactic hasn't been very effective thus far.
Are you the type who lounges around, waiting for new demos to drop on Xbox Live Marketplace and then, when they do, you scream bloody murder if they're not for the latest and greatest? Yeah? Well, have we got one for you. Major Nelson has put up a post on his complaint repository heralding the arrival of a new demo for the now seven month-old Dead or Alive 4. I know, like, can you believe this guy?
Patient as always (with the help of some really good therapy we presume), Major reminded the throngs of ungrateful monkeys, "Remember guys, you all have probably had your Xbox 360 since November ... but thousands are being sold every month, so that means a lot of new people are coming on to Xbox Live and the Marketplace that may not have the game, or even heard of that game. So in that regard, this is new content for a LOT of new people."
Yeah, so there. She weighs in at around 680MB so get downloadin'.
He's been called an eccentric, a rock star, a hypocrite and once, even a game designer. Tecmo's Tomonobu Itagaki has been called a lot of things and, following on from an interview conducted by KinkyzooKakalukeia Kikizo, we suspect that "drunkard" may be the next label appended to the already impressive list. When queried about how he gets his ideas, Itagaki calmly claims that he often sees them at the bottom of a bottle of whisky.
"Of course, there are ups and downs, waves, of how I drink in terms of the amount, but it's a long period of time. In the last ten years - not that you asked this question - I think I had better ideas when I was drinking whisky. When I am drinking shochu, that's a conservative drink, so the ideas are not that great. Beer is just like water to me, so it just helps me and everyone else loosen up a little bit, it doesn't really contribute to coming up with ideas." The interview mostly stays on the topic of Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 (a game which Itagaki says he's developing as a hobby), but does reveal that Ninja Gaiden 2 is currently in its planning stages.
If alcohol is a vital ingredient in games like Ninja Gaiden, we say let Itagaki and his team have a drink and loosen up. Heck, we encourage him to drink himself into a stupor -- we're sure a couple of vomit-encrusted keyboards are worth receiving another refreshingly difficult ninja kill-em-up. The man's outspoken for certain (don't forget his 5 most hated games, Tekkens 1 through 5), but he usually does a good job of sticking to his promises. That's one trait that many game designers could do well to adopt. Well, that and raging alcoholism.
Call it a hunch, but we're not convinced that UK television presenter, Anne Diamond, is an ideal choice to "review" games which she says make her "hair stand on end." Though she brushes off several titles which are "so mindless it would be hard to see them as a destructive influence," the ones with "gratuitous use of violence and bloodthirsty imagery" really draw her ire. Honestly, we'd be bitter too if we had copies of Dead Rising LODGED IN OUR SHOULDERS.
