We did a terrible thing at last week's Game Developer's Conference. Aside from our usual barrage of photographs and "reporting," a select group of attendees had to endure a particularly inane and utterly pointless line of questioning -- just for laughs. This is what happens when you hunt down several adventure game connoisseurs and challenge them to solve a typically obnoxious adventure game puzzle.

The Player
Erik Wolpaw, co-author of the now-defunct Old Man Murray. He's written for games such as Psychonauts and Portal, and once accused the adventure genre of committing suicide.

The Puzzle
You're standing in front of a cave. The goal is to get inside the cave, taking care to foil the ferocious robot bear guarding the entrance first.

The Inventory

• (1) perforated parasol
• (1) rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle
• (1) sealed manila envelope
• (1) miniature macaroni Tim Schafer statue
  

The Solution
"How is the pulley attached to the rubber chicken? See, this is why I hate adventure games. I think you're expecting a joke answer, and I'm actually trying to figure it out. OK, type 'quit.' That's what I would do. Go to the menu and type 'quit.'"

(Catch the rest of our interview with Wolpaw later this week!)

3:36pm PT: After waiting in what can only be described as an epic line (by far the longest we've seen at GDC so far, and it's Friday afternoon!), we've found a respectable spot at the Portal postmortem, one of the most anticipated sessions of the entire week. Erik Wolpaw and Kim Swift are on stage, seemingly unaware of the sea of humans piling up outside the door.

3:53pm PT: Ludwig posted a photo of the Portal postmortem line. Best part: you still can't see most of the line which wrapped around both ends of the frame. We're just happy to be in here. We're prickly with anticipation. It's like seeing the Beatles on Ed Sullivan ... just really nerdy ...