As if hearing the collective cries of those tossing and turning in their beds, gripped by the nightmare of having the English Metal Gear Solid 4 cast be comprised of Pauly Shore, Gilbert Gottfried and Macy Gray, comes Konami and their announcement of the game's core voice cast. David Hayter, whose vocal chords can effortlessly grind cinder blocks to dust, unsurprisingly reprises his role of Solid Snake, lending some world weariness to the protagonist as he strangles inept soldiers, babbles into his codec and asks why nobody is telling him the damn truth. (You can sample the man's voice for yourself in the latest Kojima Productions Report podcast.)

Returning as Roy Campbell is Paul Eiding, who will once again regale you with tales of "the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork," as well as mention his unusual and unexpected desire for scissors. Rounding out the core cast is Christopher Randalph playing Hal "Otacon" Emmerich and Quinton Flynn portraying the widely reviled, androgynous nudist-turned-ninja, Raiden.

With Metal Gear Solid 4's over-the-top plot still a closely guarded secret, no other English character voices have been announced. Cam Clarke ("Liquid?") seems a sure bet, as do most of the great actors from the previous games. After all, there's no indication that Hideo Kojima's PS3 game ("so far") will be anything less than an "expertly crafted and customized" experience.

(See? Our clever choice of video still leaves us in the clear in case it's a disappointment.)

[Via press release]

Shortly after delivering his convergence keynote at this year's D.I.C.E. summit, the vice chairman of Sony Pictures Entertainment confirmed to Gamespot that Sony's film studio would be responsible for dragging Metal Gear Solid into the cinema. "We're working with the Metal Gear guys," says Yair Landau. "It's a very cinematic game, it really lends itself to movie telling. But the question is, 'How do you translate Snake's experience into a full arc that conforms to what audiences expect on the large screen?'"

Lead Metal Gear guy, Hideo Kojima, announced the film at last year's E3, though barely any details have surfaced since then. Apart from crushing the hopes of Dr. Boll, Kojima and co. have said nothing with respect to casting, directing or script. A safe assumption sees Solid Snake strangling inept soldiers and battling at least one psychopath with a penchant for babbling about the philosophical hangups of dropping nuclear bombs ... on the rainforest. The real trick will be to provide a film more entertaining than the infamous Metal Gear Awesome (embedded after the break for old time's sake).

Landau also hinted at an Everquest movie from Sony Pictures, but declined to name the supposedly esteemed producer attached to it. If it winds up being an epic tale of elven mana dealers and over-the-top dragon chases, we'll know it was Jerry Bruckheimer.

While most American gamers know Hideo Kojima as the man behind the blockbuster Metal Gear Solid franchise, the two games he worked on before breaking out with MGS are considered forgotten masterpieces. One, Snatcher, saw a limited U.S. release on the ill-fated Sega CD. The other, Policenauts, has never been available in English.

That seems poised to change, though, as Kojima fan-site Junker HQ has just announced the completion of a five-year project to translate the game's text. Only some technical work remains before the translation is released as a patch on the newly relaunched policenauts.net, currently targeted for the second half of 2007.

Theoretically, the patch will require a CD-R, an official Japanese version of the game and a modded PlayStation to work, but emulator-compatible ISOs are sure to leak out for the less scrupulous among us. While you wait, check out the game's Wikipedia entry to get some idea of what made the game so special.

[Via MetalGearsolid.org]

In a recent Gamepro interview, Hideo Kojima makes it clear that his aspirations involve more than just the Playstation 3. The Metal Gear designer notes that he eventually wants to develop for the Wii, the Xbox 360 (he's a fan of Gears of War, you know) and the "world-wide platform" that is the PC. "I want to do it. But our staff, especially the younger ones, don't so much like to work on the PC. If it was PC, we don't have to go into some crappy things with the first parties."

Going by Kojima's earlier steak dinner and movie analogies, we suppose he can now be interpreted as a rabid film critic wandering about town, randomly bursting into houses and demanding delicious steaks. Of course, PC gaming needs to fit in there somewhere -- is it like leveling up your own livestock, shortly before slaughtering it and eating it alone?

Read the interview and make your own conclusions. Watch out for Kojima stating that "MGS4 is actually for the PS3 only so far."

[Thanks to everyone who sent this in.]

The latest issue of Japan's Weekly Famitsu contains gory details of the magazine's annual Japanese industry awards, and it's little surprise that renowned industry savior Satoru Iwata is cited as the figure who made the greatest impact on videogames in 2006. NCL's friendly President (there's a French brand of cheese called Président, you know) received 201 votes to pip Ken Kutaragi, of all people, to the title. What "Big Ken" was even doing in the listings we fail to fathom, but there you have it. And here you have Famitsu's top five Japanese industry cheeses:

1. Satoru Iwata (Nintendo) -- 201 votes
   
2. Ken Kutaragi (Sony Computer Entertainment) -- 181 votes
   
3. Hironobu Sakaguchi (Mistwalker) -- 126 votes
   
4. Shigeru Miyamoto (Nintendo) -- 41 votes
   
5. Hideo Kojima (Konami) -- 33 votes
   

The Producers' Guild of America has recognized the achievements of Will Wright (The Sims), Hideo Kojima (Metal Gear Solid), and Tetsuya Mizuguchi (Rez & Lumines), naming the three luminaries to the Guild's current list of 50 most innovative producers in the field of Digital Entertainment. Wright even landed in the number 5 position, besting big-name contributors like Google's Larry Page and Sergei Brin (#9), and YouTube's Chad Hurley and Chris Chen (#23). Kojima and Mizuguchi made the list at numbers 38 and 50 respectively.

Brain Age's Dr. Ryuta Kawashima also made the list, popping up -- surprisingly -- at number 16. Anyways, a round of applause for the 'three gaming gods' and the talking head. Congrats, gentlemen.

Who should the PGA elect next year?

The Metal Gear Solid 4 trailer we reported yesterday is now available in higher quality. Enjoy with more clarity Snake's oil drum-rolling antics (Snakes in a Barrel anyone?) and an incident involving bird poop and what might be Gray Fox / Frank Jaeger.

The video is embedded below for your convenience, compliments of Game Videos.

Sparked by remarks from a Nintendo Power contributor, reports indicate that Hideo Kojima will design Snake's stage for Wii's Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Nintendo Power's Chris Hoffman recently commented, "If you want to talk about something big, how about the news Hideo Kojima, Snake's creator, is designing Snake's level in Brawl? Snake's inclusion means we're not only getting one of the best characters in gaming, but one of the best developers as well."

With Sakurai at the helm and Kojima lending, not just Snake, but his actual development talent, are we anticipating the ... Best. Smash Bros. Ever?

Metal Gear Solid creator, Hideo Kojima, has already ruled out Uwe Boll ("it's impossible") as a directorial candidate of a possible cinematic adaptation of the celebrated series, without confirming that such a project was even under way ... until now, that is. Gamespot reports that the Kojima Productions spoof of the E3 Show Daily, dubbed "Show Maybe," teases, "In a late-breaking surprise announcement, director Hideo Kojima revealed that his most famous creation -- Metal Gear Solid -- is getting the live-action treatment."

On the back page Kojima writes, "I have received many offers to adapt Metal Gear Solid. It has taken a long time, but we have finally settled on an arrangement ... False facts aside, a movie project is underway. I have finalized a Class-A contract with a party in Hollywood." Now that the cat's out of the bag, expect periodic updates leading up to the 2007 release of Metal Gear Solid 4. Who's directing? Whose starring? For once, fans can't complain about lengthy cut scenes!

If you spend a good deal of your time watching classic Dracula movies or, uh, the Weather Channel, you would no doubt be interested in Hideo Kojima's new DS game, Lunar Knights. Featuring loads of snarling vampires and weather effects, Gamespot notes that the game follows the adventures of two warriors looking to spill the blood of some blood-suckers. The stylus is used for plenty of actions in the game, just as you'd expect, but the interesting part comes in with the use of the DS' top screen. As your characters traverse the bottom screen, the weather above them (so to speak) will change and affect their abilities to successfully fend off the vampires plaguing the planet. If the thought of umbrella-wielding heroes slaying in the rain doesn't appeal to you, you are most likely dead inside.

After leaping over a fence, running frantically from security guards and dodging an intricate series of traps, the Joystiq team infiltrated the hallowed walls that house E3. Mysterious barriers and surly men barred us from progressing much farther, but we were able to sneakily snap some pictures of the banners and signs hanging about. Hovering over the Konami booth was this Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots logo, which demonstrates a departure from the previous design and a strange obsession with upside-down sevens. With Kojima having his hands on this title, we can only assume that there's a deeper meaning to be found here.

Our guess: Snake will be battling an elite and mostly psychotic team of soldiers called the Seven Deadly Sims. They'll be post-modern virtual entities meant to illustrate how life has become a neo-classical pastiche and how technology is....yeah. We have no idea what it means. Expect Kojima to reveal the truth at the Konami press conference on Tuesday.

As promised, the Kojima Productions Report podcast has "pirated" the first 90-seconds of the Metal Gear Solid 4 E3 trailer's audio. The bad news: it's all in Japanese. The good news: there's an English translation of the audio (.mp3) at their website!

Since we can't see what's happening, let's use our ears to tell us what's going on. Mostly, for non-Japanese speakers, not much. Just don't expect Snake to be cutting any throats in the first 90 seconds. Alright, so the audio isn't really telling us anything besides there are two dudes talking (go figure, in MGS?). Let's move onto the transcript.

Alright, those two guys are none other than Snake (Solid we presume) and Campbell (still a Colonel?). Standard MGS dialog ensues but then ... what's that? Who runs the dummy corporation that controls the five largest private military corporations (PMCs, natch) that have become a serious threat to the world and the US military hegemony following  the Manhattan incident?!

Who else? This is gonna be good!

[Thanks, David and Mike]

This Flash cartoon hosted at deviantART, titled Metal Gear Awesome, is funny enough to warrant a pants wetting warning. Fans of Kojima's original PlayStation masterpiece will revel in the in-jokes, like Meryl's always popular posterior (pictured), her secret codec number, and all things DARPA chief.

This cartoon is very NSFW, not only because of the excess of violence and profanity, but chances are your snorting laughter will arouse the curiosity of your nosy coworkers.

Note: We are aware this is almost two years weeks old so, if you've seen it before, watch it again!

[UPDATE: It wasn't as old as we thought! However, since it doesn't come from the future, some will inevitably complain that it is still, in fact, too OLLLDDDDD/lame/yawn!]

[Thanks, Ludwig]

The Kojima Productions Report, the English companion to Hideo Kojima's audioblog HIDECHAN, released its second installment today, and it's already bearing fruit! Host Ryan Payton delivers a message from Kojima-san dispelling recent "nasty rumors" that Uwe Boll is being considered to direct an upcoming Metal Gear Solid movie. Says Kojima:

"Absolutely not! I don't know why Uwe Boll is even talking about this kind of thing. We've never talked to him. It's impossible that we'd ever do a movie with him."

Ouch! Kojima sounds pretty confident that Konami isn't sidestepping his authorial control anytime soon, even if Boll did receive a copy of the script. Oh, and Uwe, congratulations on that recent Razzie nomination; we know you have what it takes to bring home the Golden Raspberry!