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Posts tagged Japanese hardware sales

Japanese hardware sales, Jun. 25 - Jul. 1: Slippery slope edition

And just when you thought things were going so well. This week's inescapably cataclysmic sales charts confirm what we've all suspected since 2004 -- the Nintendo DS is nothing more than a farcical fad. Microsoft may have waited until this week to deal with their Red Ring of Death problem, but...

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Japanese hardware sales, Jun. 18 - Jun. 24: Contra-diction edition

When does mere coincidence become conspiracy? It's an appropriate question to ask given the curious state of this week's Japanese hardware sales, which seem to hint at an unseen entity unfairly adjusting parameters and altering the accepted balance of things. Indeed, the original...

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Japanese hardware sales, Jun. 11 - Jun. 17: Effect and Cause edition

With our deepest, most heartfelt apologies to the White Stripes. We just couldn't resist the new album and certain ... parallels. I ain't the reason that your brain has no reason to understand our way You skipped the daily training and got shocked when you hit 80 I ain't saying I'm innocent In...

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Japanese hardware sales, Jun. 11 - Jun. 17: Effect and Cause edition

With our deepest, most heartfelt apologies to the White Stripes. We just couldn't resist the new album and certain ... parallels. I ain't the reason that your brain has no reason to understand our way You skipped the daily training and got shocked when you hit 80 I ain't saying I'm innocent In...

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Japanese hardware sales, Jun. 11 - Jun. 17: [censored] edition

[Note: In order to receive an "A" for "Alright" rating from the Irreverent News Entertainment Policing Team, the following article may have undergone some language censoring.] I only have one fishy question to ask you bunch of cats. What the Ferengi do you care about that Japan place? You sit...

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Japanese hardware sales, Jun. 4 - Jun. 10: E-scandal Edition

And so, the Church of England vs. Sony saga at last seems to be inching towards a resolution. How did it ever turn into such a mess? The answer to that question, obtained only through ingenious hacking techniques, lies after the break (that place we put all the nonsense that has nothing to do with...

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Japanese hardware sales, May 28 - Jun. 3: Custom excuse edition

"Double you tea eff, Ludwig," you say. "It's Saturday! These charts are late! I demand an explanation, you wretched excuse for a human being!" And an explanation is just what you'll receive, one that is meticulously crafted to your exact specifications. Find it after the break and substitute as...

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Japanese hardware sales, May 21 - May 27: Mega Management edition

We're not particularly fond of traditional corporate meetings. As a platform for communication, we find that a meeting frequently fails on multiple fronts, particularly the one that requires human beings to spit verbs at each other within, well, spitting distance. We much prefer the impersonal touch...

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Japanese hardware sales, May 14 - May 20: Suggestive sandwich edition

Lick your screen. Go on, do it. You'll find it to have a sort of artificial non-taste, with just a hint of static and dust. Incidentally, that's precisely what a DS sandwich tastes like, one freshly made from this week's Japanese sales charts. The sleeker DS Lite still reigns at the top while its...

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Japanese hardware sales, May 7 - May 13: Hidden in Halo edition

After a group of modders dug into the Halo 3 Beta code and seemingly discovered some embedded weapons and vehicles intended for the game's September release, we immediately set out to confirm the information for ourselves. Is there really a flamethrower hidden in there? Just what exactly is this...

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