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We're willing to abide a lot around Joystiq HQ, but from the start we've had one basic, simple rule. We don't cotton to robots. We know that society has come to depend on them for odd jobs like fruit juicing and child care, but that doesn't mean we have to accept them.

It should be a great testament then to the skill of YouTube user RigorMortis999 that we're willing to break our own prime directive to bring you his one-handed version of the Super Mario Bros. theme, which you'll find right after the break. Sure, he's quite obviously a robot, but we think it's safe to assume he's a friendly one.

[Via Kotaku]

Though the latest edition of Iwata Asks is technically focused on New Super Mario Bros. Wii, the first few pages of the interview go off on a tangent about the overall-clad plumber's roots which you might find interesting. For instance, did you know that Miyamoto's original plan for Donkey Kong was a video game based on Popeye? It's true -- it was only after he was denied the rights to put the muscly-armed sailor man in a video game that he created the most prolific video game character of all time.

Of course, just like a timid middle school student, Mario was forced to go through some awkward formative phases. Miyamoto revealed that in the original design for Donkey Kong, Mario -- who, at the time, was referred to as "Mr. Video" -- was unable to jump. Man, we feel like we just gazed into some kind of creepy alternate universe.

"It is me, Mr. Video. I'm going to slowly walk over there, all the while praying that I don't encounter any ground-based enemies."

This Black Friday, November 27, Nintendo will release DSi bundles containing pre-installed software to the value of $20. The metallic blue DSi bundle (a new color for the States) will feature Mario-themed DSiWare, while the white is for those with "a passion for brain teasers."

• Blue version: Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Minis March Again!, Dr. Mario Express, WarioWare: Snapped!, Mario Calculator and Mario Clock.
  
• White version: Brain Age Express: Arts & Letters, Brain Age Express: Sudoku, Brain Age Express: Math, Clubhouse Games Express: Card Classics, Photo Clock.

There is no altered price to go with the announcement of these bundles, so we're guessing the units will retail at the normal $170 price. Of course, it is Black Friday, so check various retailers for the best deals.

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1. Work for an unconscionable number of hours making a laser etcher improbably play a fine rendition of the World 1-1 music from Super Mario Bros.
2. Let Cory Doctorow film it.
3. Listen as he rewards your hard work with terrible internet cliches, and, in doing so, almost completely obscures the audio you crafted.
4. Cry yourself to sleep.

Video tutorial right after the break.

As much as we'd like to think Mario is an accredited doctor with the papers to back it up (that University of Phoenix diploma above might as well be toilet paper), the dude is just a plumber in a white lab coat. Unlike most practitioners, he's willing to throw pills at any problem and can only really deal with two issues: the chills and fever. Nothing makes this more evident than the video made by College Humor user Brentalfloss, which adds lyrics to the Dr. Mario theme ... and some kinda disturbing imagery, too. Check it out at your own risk!

[Thanks, Adrian!]

Source - Dr. Mario with Lyrics (probably NSFW)

While it's unbelievably tempting to litter this piece with allusions to the various Mario and Luigi properties, we're instead going to bite our tongues and tell the story of some less-than-gentlemanly gents who beat and robbed a NYC cabbie at 4AM on November 1. According to police reports, the cabbie stopped his car at a gas station when one of the four patrons attempted to steal money out of his pocket. He asked the men to pay their fare and get out, which resulted in the attack.

In the video found on the NY Daily News website, two men dressed as Mario and Luigi can be seen assaulting the cab driver while another person in their party stands about, presumably watching for interference. The men are still at large and police are asking those with information to contact Crime Stoppers at (800) 577-TIPS, log onto NYPD Crime Stoppers, or text 274637 then enter "TIP577."

[Via GamePolitics]

[Thanks, Adam]

ASEFOSAM, a Spanish labor association has announced (translation) that it plans to make Nintendo's Mario Mario an honorary member. Mario is to be presented with a silver badge, which is given to members of the association who improve the image of laborers. In celebration, a contest will be held in Madrid over the weekend to determine the best Mario Bros. player (though we're not sure exactly which of the many, many Mario games is to be played).

So, yeah, it sounds like the Italian labor associations really dropped the ball on this.

[Via GoNintendo]

Nintendo is holding a little family-friendly launch fiesta for New Super Marios Bros. Wii this Saturday, November 14, at its flagship store in New York City. The House of Mario will "transform" Rockefeller Plaza into the Mushroom Kingdom, providing demo stations, "costumed characters, trivia challenges, prize giveaways (while supplies last)."

The event takes place from 3-7PM and NSMBW is available to purchase early from the Nintendo World Store during that time. The game officially launches the following day, November 15. If getting it a day early seems worth the trip, remember to add NYC's lovely (8.875%) sales tax to your budget.

We know many Joystiq readers don't want to read spoilers on the site. That's why, for your sake, we've carefully posted the intro movie to New Super Mario Bros. Wii after the break. The upcoming 2D platformer returns the series to its roots, but adds a number of features that make it "new" -- it says so on the box. New power-ups and the addition of multiplayer radically change the feel of NSMBW, but we're not sure if gamers are prepared for the revolutionary new story featured in this latest adventure.

Check it out after the break.

[Via GoNintendo]

We're not afraid to admit that Ed Peduzzi's Super Mario Galaxy commercial gets us all misty. It's a powerful combination of Sigur Rós' "Hoppípolla" and the classic footage of Nintendo's Italian plumber, crescendoing in a mighty display of Super Mario Galaxy that really gave our heart strings a tug. Check it out for yourself past the break and if you don't get goosebumps, well you just may be a soulless husk of a human being.

You might have noticed a less than offensive Nintendo tattoo donning the image space above this sentence you're reading, and could very well be wondering why this is the case. As it turns out, the Super Mario Bros.-themed images of Princess Peach and a Star are a bit too graphic for use on Joystiq. They are, however, quite unique – rather than the ol' ink-permanently-embedded-in-skin treatment of traditional tattoos, the aforementioned two employ a method of tattooing that involves skin removal. Check out the original shots over at BodyMod.org if you want to see 'em, but click through at your own discretion.

[Thanks Adam!]

The new multiplayer mode in New Super Mario Bros. Wii is great, as is the apparent difficulty of the new levels. We're curious about the Super Guide feature as well. But for some Mario fans, the real draw to the latest sidescroller can be seen above: the Koopalings, returning for the first time in a traditional Mario game since Super Mario World. While, of course, we'd still prefer a 2D adventure, Iggy, Morton, et al. have made the transition to 3D quite well!

Nintendo released that render along with some other character and enemy art, and an image of the bizarre all-red box art. See what a Goomba looks like now in our gallery. Spoiler: pretty much like it always looks.

Marriage proposals via video games aren't exactly new, but they're still clever -- and usually cute. Last Thursday, Brad Smith proposed to his girlfriend of five years using a hacked version of Super Mario World, placing coins in world 1-1 to spell out, "Will you marry me?" Cute, right? But we have to question Brad's filming of the occasion, because, if we didn't know better, we'd think the couple was being watched by a serial killer hiding behind their couch. You can see what we mean after the break.

Seriously -- tell us that, when the camera pulls back to catch Brad on his knee, ring in hand, you don't want to yell out, "Look out! There's someone else in the room!" Or maybe it's just the close proximity to Halloween that's got us all on edge. Still ... Brad, if you're reading this, please drop us a line to let us know you're alright?

Ahh, the world of social networking services, where everyone from Joystiq to Charles Martinet (the voice of Mario and many other Nintendo characters) can coyly hint at things of interest to the world. Why just yesterday morning, Martinet dropped hints at an "Awesome new Mario game." Normally such a statement would provide us little in the way of excitement, except it came paired with "And it's not NSMB [New Super Mario Bros.] Wii, and it's not Galaxy 2," as well as assuring us "it's going to be crazy fun!"

Considering the recent release of Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story and the two he mentioned in his Tweet, we're fairly sure Mr. "It's a me, Mario!" is dropping his dulcet tones into an unannounced "new Mario game." We've shot Nintendo a note for some clarification and will update this post as soon as we know more.

Update: Unfortunately, The Big N hasn't offered us much in the way of information, saying, "We're always working on new games and experiences, but we have nothing to announce at this time."

[Via GamingTarget]

New Super Mario Bros. Wii is "pretty difficult," series creator Shigeru Miyamoto told us at a NYC press demo yesterday, acknowledging complaints that the previous 2D iteration of the franchise was too easy. After our disastrous performance in last week's hands-on, we'd agree with that assessment.

While "Demo Play" makes concessions towards novice players, NSMBW celebrates hardcore gameplay. By earning the super coins hidden through each level, you'll be able to unlock a series of "Super Guide" videos that highlight "super skills" tactics. These videos will reveal how to get infinite 1-ups, find the secret goals and show alternate ways of playing the game. (One video we saw showed three Yoshis working in tandem to lick and spit a hapless Luigi throughout the level.)

The newly released video above highlights some of the various stages in NSMBW. Does it look "difficult" to you? You can also check out North America's all-red packaging after the break.