Ever since the passing of controversial anti-Ninja legislation, importing Japan's deadliest natural resource into the States is a near-impossible process. Luckily, the Federal Trade Commission has recognized that Ninja Gaiden II is not an actual ninja, but instead, a circular platter of polycarbonate encapsulated in a decorated box and an irritating plastic sheath. They also noted that the ninja on the cover is an illustrated ninja, who poses little to no risk of flipping out and killing you in your sleep.

Thus, Ninja Gaiden II was cleared to launch in North America just in time for its June 3 release date -- though it took Team Ninja much longer to convince the FTC that the game's demo was not some sort of digital assassin, sent to kill the internets. Luckily, that bit of confusion was resolved today, and the Ninja Gaiden II demo is now available on Xbox Live. Conveniently enough, we can think of no better way of venting our anger over the demo's North American delay than to dismember some minions with frightening bladed weaponry.

During last year's Tokyo Game Show, outspoken game designer Tomonobu Itagaki issued us a bit of a challenge. "If there's a game out there that is more beautiful, more interactive, faster and has better action than this game," he said, "please let me know." Well, it looks like such a title may still be absent from the DS catalog, as reviewers have had some awfully nice things to say about the short-but-sweet Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword.

Honestly, we should have seen this coming, what with a fairly obvious clue buried in the game's title. Cross some things out, tilt your head to the left and ... voila!

• Gametrailers (88/100): "Ninja Gaiden Dragon Sword proves to have a sharp edge with good tech and smooth pacing. It also manages to turn the stylus into an effective ninja weapon, making it play like no other game on Nintendo's little dual screen."
• IGN (86/100): "Very few developers outside of Nintendo are truly willing to take the risk of experimenting a brand new way of playing an established franchise, but Tecmo's Team Ninja did just that with its DS-exclusive design. The risk worked: Ninja Gaiden on the Nintendo DS is a really great game that offers a fresh, unique take on action games, and gives the touch-screen handheld gamers something that they'll never see on any other platform."
• Game Informer Online (78/100): "Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword is a commendable attempt at making a straight-up action game on the DS. I like the combat and the mechanics, and even though the battles get repetitive, it's frantic and fun enough to occasionally make you forget that fact."

Ever since the announcement of Ninja Gaiden II's June 3rd release, we've become increasingly annoyed with the months of April and May. As is the case with those insolent, slow-moving people who bunch up in front of you at the supermarket, we really just want to ram them out of the way so that we may fill our cart to the brim with candy as quickly as possible. Having turned around and spotted our menacing glares, May has at least shown some decency by offering us a sampler -- a Ninja Gaiden II demo to be precise (and free of rambling allegories).

According to Microsoft's Ninja Gaiden II website, those eager to decapitate demons, mangle monsters and otherwise alliteratively assault archfiends can expect to download a demon-stration from Xbox Live Marketplace in May. The page also advises to look for "exclusive" content from April 15th, no doubt referring to things like gamerpics, themes and videos pretending to be demos. Wait, we're not falling for that one again, are we?

Ninja dogs need not apply. This sweet 8gb iPod Nano you're feasting your eyes on will only be attainable by the most skilled assassins in Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword. Of course, this is all based on machine translation, so you'll have to forgive us some misinterpretation.

It appears that there will be three different ways that folks can enter for their chance at the Nano. For one, there looks to be a specific difficulty setting that will apply to this giveaway, meaning that players who partake in the game while in this difficulty setting can upload their high score for entry. Second, players can collect certain in-game prizes (or tokens, we're assuming). Third, there's an online survey that can be filled out.

Seems fairly easy to us, and there will be a total of 15 Nanos up for grabs. The contest period began on March 21st and ends on April 16th. Again, we're not certain this applies to folks outside of Japan, so keep that in mind.

Remember that blip on the Xbox Live this week that said a Ninja Gaiden 2 Demo was coming soon? The "demo" has now gone live, and we hate to break it to you, folks, but it turns out that demo really means "video of someone playing the demo." Yep, we're disappointed, too, and a bit angry at the misleading title -- by convention, demo in the gaming world tends to be interactive. (Unless, of course, the game really is just us watching someone else play the game.) Creator Tomonobu Itagaki did assure that a demo is coming "at some point." Ninja Gaiden 2 is out for blood June 3.

With all eyes turned to San Francisco's Moscone Center this week, we half expected the Wii's Virtual Console to take a breather. What we got, as it turns out, is two extremely competent releases playing to two of our greatest loves, namely ninjas and, well, genetically engineered chicks with claws, giving those of us manning the Joystiq bunker something to fawn over while the team prepares to burn the midnight oil.

• Ninja Gaiden III: The Ancient Ship of Doom (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points): We'd be more inclined to watch daytime television if network soap operas took a page from Tecmo and filled their stories with ninjas, demons, and trans-dimensional clones. While Ryu Hayabusa's 8-bit escapades may be lacking the over-the-top gore found in the series' more contemporary offerings, we doubt even the upcoming Ninja Gaiden II will have a 'ship of doom.'
• Phantasy Star II (Sega Genesis, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): While Phantasy Star is better known now for its multiplayer shenanigans and a story thin enough to be named Top Model, the franchise's single player roots continue to be home to some of our most fondly-remembered role-playing from days when pixels were king. It's true that some could argue that Phantasy Star IV tops out its brothers as the series' best bet, but we'll always have a special place in our hearts for Phantasy Star II and Nei's cosmetically-challenged ears.

Savior of stingy spenders and bane of box art, the budget lineup, is set to incorporate several PlayStation 3 titles in Japan next month. IGN reports that the official "PlayStation 3 the Best" branding will highlight familiar titles at friendlier prices, with Resistance: Fall of Man, FolksSoul (aka Folklore), Ninja Gaiden Sigma, Gundam: Target in Sight, and Ridge Racer 7 pinching the first pennies -- or, uh, yanking the first yen. The "Best" games will sell for ¥3,800 ($36), which represents a saving of roughly ¥2,200 ($21) for Sony-published games and ¥3,200 ($30) for third-party titles.

On the other side of the ocean, Sony told GamesIndustry.biz that a similar "Platinum" range of budget games would likely arrive in Europe. "We have introduced a Platinum range of best-selling titles for all of our platforms to date, and it is likely that we will do so in the future for PS3," said a spokesman, noting that the timing and lineup had yet to be finalized.

We'll let you know what Sony America has to say about a budget lineup as soon as they accept our collect call.

Read -- "PlayStation 3 the Best" for Japan
Read -- "Platinum" for Europe

It's no secret that we totally love Tomonobu Itagaki. It's a kind of love that few can experience in their life, as it drives you to do things you otherwise wouldn't do. Like, get a restraining order filed against you. It's okay, though. In Itagaki we trust.

It's also no secret that Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword is going to be one of the year's most highly-anticipated games on the console. In fact, Itagaki commented that he's been approached with many offers to use his game engine. This could mean more DS games utilizing his innovative stylus-driven control scheme down the line.

And, if you needed another reason to pick the game up, listen to Itagaki. He says if you "consider yourself a true gamer, you owe it to yourself to play this game. If you don't, you'll be missing one of the breakthrough experiences in video gaming. This is an incredibly innovative piece of software."

We're sold. If you're not, maybe you should download the demo?

Developer: Team Ninja
Publisher: Tecmo
Release: March

There is a certain DS title on the horizon: Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword. As a person who enjoys the finer things in life, like the silent "fwip" of a poisoned dart hitting your enemy's throat or the grace of emerging from the shadows to slice your enemy's stomach, spilling his intestines onto the bamboo floor beneath you, this game is likely the focal point of your life right now. Your only reason for accessing DS Fanboy on any kind of regular basis is only in the hopes that there will be new Ninja Gaiden news.

If none of this rings true to you, then perhaps some personal reflection is in order. Have you perhaps considered you are not a ninja, nor are you fascinated with the world's most efficient killer? Should this be the case, we have a surefire way to make sure you let in the unimaginable power to dispatch the living and accept the Ninja as the world's most awesome thing ever, all in a matter of days.

First of all, we have to list the givens:

• You must quit your job
• Leave your loved ones, making sure only to take one internet-accessing device (so you can read the rest of this, unless you want to use a pen and paper like some jerk), one bowl of rice and your DS
• Make your way to the mountains of Tibet

Okay, now you're in Tibet. First thing you need to do is throw out the bowl of rice. Ninja don't get hungry; hunger fears the power of the ninja. The ninja sustains its life through the destruction of its enemies. It feeds on the perfection of silently killing its target and making its way off into the night.

Next, you need to hook it up with Google maps and search for your local video rental store. Actually, there aren't that many in Tibet, so head back to your residence (maybe you should have just written this all down or printed it out?). Look up a Hollywood Video or a Blockbuster and go in. Find the nearest employee and ask them to point you toward the Ninja section. If they don't have a Ninja section, pull out your DS and use it to smack that unhelpful person in the face. Then, ask them to point you toward American Ninja.

Once face-to-case with the film, you'll have little time before the cops show up. You won't be able to take them on now at this point in your training, so grab everything that says American Ninja on it and duck out of the door. Once out of the store, put your heels to the pavement and run as fast as you can back to your family.

As you arrive at your former home, take care to enter as silently as possible. Your former spouse may have found someone new in the period since your departure and your training may need to be accelerated. Your primary goal is to find your VCR or DVD player, extract it and abscond to somewhere safe so that you may view these films.



Now is the time to absorb this material and carefully study each and every film in the American Ninja franchise you were able to make off with. You must watch them and emulate every single one of Dudikoff's moves, with your DS's stylus firmly gripped in hand. And only after learning from the master may you attempt your next task: securing your copy of Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword.

By this time in your ninja career, it is now March and the release of Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword is quickly approaching. It would have to be before you could realistically master the skills of Michael Dudikoff. And now is your true test, as you must leave your dojo in the hunt for Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword.



Now is the time for real-world practice, as seen in the video above.
It is here that your true skills will be put to the test. You have trained hard and you have been faced with many trials. You will have to make your way into a convenient retail location, procure the DS title, pay off the cashier and return to your sanctuary. It is a difficult task. We wish you luck.

---

Professor Layton	Back	Duck!

Nintendo's latest release schedule has cut through the fog of ambiguity and pinned the arrival of Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword to the pleasingly specific date of March 25th. We only had "March 2008" to go on before and have thus avoided wasting 24 days of the month scouring shelves and phoning overly smug store clerks.

Though Tecmo has told us that the shipping date may change if the final code isn't approved in time, it's the one they're currently targeting like... whatever ham-fisted Ninja metaphor we could work into this sentence. For more information on Ryu Hayabusa's DS debut, check out our hands-on with the game and interview with Team Ninja's Tomonobu Itagaki.

If you think about it, a ninja's life is just one big, long string of achievements. Waking up, killing like 50 guys, slamming 5 gallons of OJ, winning an eBay auction for a fist hardener, a ninja has like 20 achievements before he even leaves for work. But what achievements are worthy of putting a name and attaching points to? For one ninja named Ryu, that's a decision that you can help make.

Currently, Gamerscore Blog is taking suggestions for an achievement of your own creation that they will in turn pass along to Team Ninja for consideration in Ninja Gaiden II. We'd like to suggest an achievement for beheading people and then making a lame joke about it. ... Oops, looks like we've been beaten to it.

Gamerscore Blog recently afforded our buddies over at X3F the opportunity to ask Team Ninja's Tomonobu Itagaki one question about the upcoming Ninja Gaiden II on the 360. They chose to ask about the sequel's adjustments to the original's infamous difficulty, specifically the addition of a automatically-regenerating health system, seemingly added to widen the game's appeal to less-hardcore players.

Not to disappoint the fans, Itagaki coolly (oh so coolly) explains that the health regenerating system was added to keep players immersed in the game, rather than having to constantly access the game's menus to use potions.

Of course, Itagaki assures the hardcore audience that the game will still appeal to their masochistic sides, but that they hope to increase the audience in the sequel with more adjustability in the difficulty levels. Good news for everyone?

The latest issue of Japanese gaming mag Famitsu has a nice two-page spread on Team Ninja's upcoming DS entry in the kill-em-all-bloodfest of a franchise, Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword. We're not only excited to give this game a whirl because of the already-mentioned amount of killing Ryu will undoubtedly do, but also because the control scheme seems like it could pave the way for more games of this type. At this point, we're fairly convinced that Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword can cure every single problem we have in our life.

Any of you feel the same way?

As if the news of Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword being delayed until next March wasn't disappointing enough (news that was super-officially confirmed by a Tecmo press release today, by the way), the boxart for the game is ... well, not necessarily bad, but certainly underwhelming. Not ninjatastic. It might just be us, but the whole thing comes across as a bit half-assed, the kind of design a Tecmo work experience lackey might churn out on Photoshop during his lunch break. We really hope that didn't happen, Tecmo.

Here's hoping the game, which we're immensely looking forward to, makes more of an impact than its packaging.

We're fairly certain these smiling people are allies of Ryu's, as we're sure any enemy of a ninja has no ability to smile, often cowering in dark corners and crying themselves to sleep as they think of nothing but their impending doom. That's just life. The life of a ninja's target.

This fresh scan for what is sure to be the definitive ninja experience on the DS, Ninja Gaiden Dragon Sword, hits the net from the latest issue of Japanese gaming mag Famitsu. Team Ninja's handheld entry into the Ninja Gaiden franchise is something that you can imagine we're incredibly excited about, as its ambitious control scheme and truckloads of combat are things we can easily get behind.