It seems I've become the architect of my own failure. Instead of demolishing the skyscraper of untouched games in my living room, I recently and rather foolishly added three more stories to it. Three very involving, convoluted and relentlessly ridiculous stories, mind you, but ones that I've already been through once. With the release of Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots close enough for me to start using the word "impending," I thought it was time for a Metal Gear Solid replay.

A word of warning: While I've tried to steer clear of plot-related spoilers, we're talking about a game that's nearly ten years old. FYI, the Titanic sinks at the end.

While we've known for some time that the "Gun Metal Gray" PlayStation 3 bundle -- featuring a shiny 40GB model, a matching DualShock 3 controller and a Limited Edition copy of geriatric sneakfest, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots -- would be available to Americans, we didn't know until now that it would only be available to Americans logging onto Konami's website. Online and inevitably scarce pre-orders for the $599.99 package will start on May 19th, so you'd better get clicking if you want Snake and Gray Box to face off in your living room.

No, we mean it. Judging by Konami's labyrinthine sign-up process for the Metal Gear Online Beta, you'll need at least several days to prepare a registration, obtain an ID, convert that into e-currency, trade it in for the microfilm, enter the password, steal the key code, write the secret URL on a postcard and summon Hideo Kojima in an arcane ritual.

Note: This bundle is different from the regular, $499 MGS4 bundle which includes an 80GB PS3 and a DualShock 3.

German developer Replay Studios and indie publisher Gamecock dropped a friendly reminder that both studios plan to drape us in tufted fabric and slit our throats this fall, when Velvet Assassin ships for both the Xbox 360 and PC. As a stealth-action game, the title will drop players into the boots of real-life World War II allied secret agent Violette Szab as she goes toe to toe with the German war machine.

Beyond the biographical backdrop and historically-inspired setting, there isn't much known about the game. However, the publisher notes that Velvet Assassin will include "lush, surreal visuals" and "a ground-breaking stealth combat system," both interesting qualities ... though we hope the devs know how difficult blood is to get out of velvet without sending it to dry cleaning.

We know you're keen to see what super spy Sam Fisher was up to before he started digging Linkin Park CDs into his wrists, so we wholeheartedly suggest you check out what many consider to be his best espionage entry, Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory. And if you absolutely can't find it on Xbox for less than 15 bucks, know that it's now available on the Xbox Originals download service.

If you'd rather not choke terrorists or contemplate why nobody can see a man with a Christmas tree on his head, Metal Arms: Glitch in the System should provide your "shoot first, shoot some more and then forget what you were going to ask" fix. Other fixes include (but are not limited to) "robots," "gun-toting robots" and "gun-toting robots shooting gun-toting robots." It's $15 (1,200 MS Points) for this one too.

Capcom is certainly in the mood to spend money. On the heels of knotting up the rights to MotoGP for the next half-decade, the company has forked over enough cash to purchase Japanese dev K2, a studio known for such titles as Valhalla Knights as well as last year's abysmal Tenchu Z.

The purchase was made via an exchange of stock that's expected to be completed on May 1. Capcom failed to elaborate on its plans for the studio, however, noting only that the acquisition was made in order to make "its game development activities more efficient and speedy," leaving us wondering if Capcom plans to revisit the flailing Tenchu stealth action series at all or is simply adding cogs to its development machine.

It's true. The game's title character may be velvet in some way, but the luxurious fabric does not figure into Violette Summers' ensemble. Instead, she alternates between skin-tight leather and a diaphanous, lingerie-like hospital gown. It's definitely more of a video game in that respect than a solemn tribute to Violette Szabo.

Why the hospital gown? The events of Velvet Assassin are framed as flashbacks remembered by a dying Summers, who is lying in a hospital bed as the game starts. She recounts her former missions behind enemy lines. This method of storytelling actually ties into the gameplay in a rather bizarre way.

We doubt that many of you had even heard of Sabotage, an up-and-coming Gamecock joint based on the incredible true story of World War II hero (for the Allies, at least) and secret agent extraordinaire Violette Szabo, but we think it's worth mentioning when a game upgrades from a title as generic as "Sabotage" to something unique; something that sounds purchase-worthy. That's why we're totally behind developer Replay Studios' decision to remoniker the stealth action shooter Velvet Assassin.

Lucky Austintonians will get a chance to check out the newly eponymed game at Gamecock's E.I.E.I.O expo this coming Thursday -- the rest of us will have to wait for Velvet Assassin's Fall 2008 release to digitally fill Violette Summers' sneaky leather shoes.

PS2 owners who are disappointed about their system's dwindling upcoming release list may have at least one more high profile "new" release to look forward to. We put "new" in quotes because this release would actually be a collection of some of the best old games on the system at a great price.

CheapAssGamer has some evidence that Konami is planning to bring Metal Gear Solid: The Essential Collection to the PS2 on March 18. According to a Play-Asia info page and two purported scans of a fact sheet, the game will include all three Metal Gear Solid games, including the Substance and Subsistence directors cuts of the latter two, all for $29.99. Try beating that with a stick.

While we're sure the four gamers who haven't played these games would be happy with the opportunity to play catch up, we're a little bummed that they couldn't somehow squeeze the Gamecube-exclusive Twin Snakes version of the original Metal Gear Solid into the package. Still, even if you've only missed one or two of these releases, you might want to put this one on your early-year-purchases list.

Geriatric neck-snapping spy news now, with Konami of Japan announcing a delay in Solid Snake's arrival on the PlayStation 3. The press release coldly increments the previously expected Q1 release of Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots to Q2 2008, sparing little thought as to the taste of bitter tears and follicle-wrenching pain we had to endure whilst reading it. There's some consolation to be found in the assurance that the delay will allow "further improvements to the quality of the game and provide even greater enjoyment for more customers worldwide."

Konami further promises that pushing Metal Gear Solid 4 into the April-June arrival window will ensure it "meets everyone's expectations." We certainly hope so, as our expectations have been sitting at the airport with nothing to do for years now but read interviews with Ryan Payton.

[Via PS3 Fanboy]

From the Tokyo-based Metal Gear Solid 20th Anniversary event that spawned a new PSP graphic novel and a cell phone outing for Snake, comes word that 3,000 players will be selected to participate in a beta program for Metal Gear Online. The game, which allows up to 16 players to engage in sneaky neck-snapping shenanigans, will be tested from August 20th until September 3rd.

Players hoping to be included in the beta can apply at the Kojima Productions website as of today -- entries close on August 6th. If you find yourself quite geographically removed from the East, you'd best hope Konami announces a similar program for the rest of the world or, at the very least, a release window for Metal Gear Online.

If you're the sort who enjoys snapping unsuspecting necks during the train commute to work, you'd be pleased to learn that the PSP's Metal Gear Solid Portable Ops is due for an expansion -- it should distract your future victims long enough to let you indulge in your disgusting and bizarre habit of killing complete strangers. Announced during the PlayStation Premier event in Tokyo, IGN reports that Metal Gear Solid Portable Ops + will primarily revolve around online play with new characters (including old wrinkly Snake) and stages. The only addition to the single-player aspect comes in the form of a mode called "Infinity Mission."

Japan will receive the expansion on September 20th at a price of ¥2,400 yen, along with a ¥4,300 bundle featuring Portable Ops. Keep an eye out for it (and commuting serial killers).

[Via PSP Fanboy]

Microsoft has announced that the Xbox 360 will soon be assaulted by moist plasma dependents in the form of Vampire Rain, which has gone gold and will commence its unrestrained display of sucking on July 3rd. Developed by Japan's Artoon (you'll see more of their work in Blue Dragon this August), the game has been summarized by internet pundits in much the same way it was originally pitched in a board meeting: Splinter Cell with vampires and, err, somewhat lower production values.

Those hoping to judge the game for themselves and play the demo can call on any of their Xbox Live friends who happen to have accounts in Japan, Australia, Canada, Hong Kong, Mexico, New Zealand or Singapore. The absence of a US demo at this stage seems a little suspicious, if only because international impressions indicate that Vampire Rain falls mainly on the plain side of things. That's not something you want people to know when you dangle a $60 game in front of them, now is it?

[Via Microsoft press release]

Originally scheduled to go on sale last Friday, the European release of portable neck-breaking simulator Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops has been delayed due to a rather unfortunate oversight: the omission of the BBFC stamp (think ESRB rating, but with an accent) from the UMD. Apparently, the box proudly displays the appropriate stamp, but the disc packaged inside went out stampless. Retailers were forced to return all copies of the game while (we imagine) the bean counters at Konami snuck up behind the forgetful graphic designer, broke their neck, and shoved 'em in a locker.

[Via PSP Fanboy]

See what they've done with the "V"? Clever ... sorta. Finnish gaming mag Pelaaja ("Player") has the scoop on Xbox 360's console-exclusive, Splinter Cell V -- er, Splinter Cell Conviction (the title remains unchanged since it was leaked last September).

GamersReports has compiled the first Conviction gameplay details, allegedly translated from the Pelaaja article. Apparently, dear old Sam will be forced out into daylight and, taking a cue from his Ubi-cousin Altaïr, will stick to the crowd instead of the shadows. An internal threat within Third Echelon has supposedly forced Sam to defect from the agency (like, for realz this time) as he attempts to save coworker Anna Grímsdóttir. Two HUD gimmicks will form the backbone of the gameplay: the "hero instinct" gives Sam the ability to track his enemies Predator-style (in infrared); while the "danger meter" acts sorta like Spidey-sense, minus the tingle (then again, Ubisoft could utilize rumble).

Close quarters combat is said to be a lot more "Bourne" this time around, as Sam has apparently shaken off his stiffness through yoga (Downward Dog FTW!), in addition to the training he's received from the alien peacekeeper and pesky webslinger. Coupled with an upgraded physics engine that lets Sam use numerous environmental objects (not just soda cans) to his advantage, Fisher oughtta make short work of that "dynamic" AI. No mention of what's in store for multiplayer -- but we sorta have this hunch...

How's it go? Good things come to those who wait? In April, when Konami releases the European version of Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops, the wait will be rewarded with new content. Here's a breakdown of the extras (via NeoGAF):

• New "Boss Battle" mode allows players to unlock additional (unconfirmed) characters for recruitment
• At least 12 new characters will reportedly be added
• Existing characters will get expanded careers, which now focus on key attributes
• Two new multiplayer maps will be added

It's possible that a patch could be released to update the Japanese and US versions of Portable Ops; but if not, PSP's region freedom ensures that diehards will be able to enjoy the new content no matter where their locations. Would you buy this game twice?

Update: changed "PAL" qualifiers to "European."