Joystiq http://www.joystiq.com Joystiq http://www.blogsmithmedia.com/http://www.joystiq.com/media/feedlogo.gif Joystiq http://www.joystiq.com en-us Copyright 2013 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/<![CDATA[One million signatures to keep Uwe Boll directing]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/09/one-million-signatures-to-keep-uwe-boll-directing/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/09/one-million-signatures-to-keep-uwe-boll-directing/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/09/one-million-signatures-to-keep-uwe-boll-directing/#commentsFiled under: ,

We feel kind of dirty giving any sort of attention to the cancerous boil on film directing that is Uwe Boll, but when the guy is acting this freaking weird we just can't help ourselves. Boll has followed up his offer to stop directing if an online petition against him reached 1,000,000 signatures with a heavily-accented YouTube video that manages to insult Eli Roth, Michael Bay, George Clooney and practically all of Hollywood as "fucking retards" that don't understand that Boll is "the only genius in the whole fucking business."

While Tinseltown insults are all well and good, what really interested us was Boll's call for a "pro Boll petition" to counteract the anti-Boll forces. Boll said he "expect[s] a million votes, Pro Boll," and he's already well on his way, with a whopping 72 signatures so far on the Pro-Boll petition set up by FilmDrunk.com. That's a far cry from the 137,644 that have signed the anti-Boll petition as of this writing, but maybe it takes "the only genius in the whole fucking business" to understand the vagaries of the math involved.

Watch the video and read a transcript of Boll's rant after the break.

Continue reading One million signatures to keep Uwe Boll directing

JoystiqOne million signatures to keep Uwe Boll directing originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 16:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>directorfar-crymoviemoviespetitionpostaluwe bolluwe-bolluwebollWed, 09 Apr 2008 16:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Uwe Boll lands distribution deal for trio of films]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/06/07/uwe-boll-lands-distribution-deal-for-trio-of-films/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/06/07/uwe-boll-lands-distribution-deal-for-trio-of-films/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/06/07/uwe-boll-lands-distribution-deal-for-trio-of-films/#commentsFiled under: ,

Confrontational and often criticized film director Uwe Boll, known for such stellar standouts like Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne adaptations, has signed with Freestyle Releasing for the distribution of three films: In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Postal and Seed, the latter notable for not being adapted from a video game.

The Dungeon Siege adaptation is due out January 18 in 2,500 theaters across North America, which means you'll likely have a chance to witness it, should you honestly choose to pay for it. (Given Boll's history and the film's long-delayed release, we're not expecting much.) Postal will actually beat Dungeon Siege to theaters, slated for September 28. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Boll said that "the film likely will open on 500 screens and grow from there based on box office."

When the games come out, you'll finally be able to judge for yourself. Be careful what you say, however: you might end up on the other end of a directorial uppercut.

JoystiqUwe Boll lands distribution deal for trio of films originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 07 Jun 2007 01:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>dungeon siegeDungeonSiegepostaluwe bollUweBollThu, 07 Jun 2007 01:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Anti-masterpiece theater presents: Postal]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/01/31/anti-masterpiece-theater-presents-postal/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/01/31/anti-masterpiece-theater-presents-postal/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/01/31/anti-masterpiece-theater-presents-postal/#commentsFiled under:

Critically bashed, critic-bashing and chronically inept filmmaker, Uwe Boll, has once again edited together a sequence of disparate and decidedly amateurish sequences into something loosely resembling a movie. No doubt risking some sort of infection, the folks at 1UP have embedded a NSFW and NSFH (Not Safe for Humanity) trailer of his latest videogame adaptation, Postal, into one of their pages. They're certainly a brave lot.

Powered by Z-grade star power and disturbing nudity, the trailer boldly declares the film's intention to be the most disgusting and most offensive piece of celluloid known to man.

So, just the usual Boll film then.

[Thanks, Jonah]

Watch -- Postal Trailers (yes, plural)

JoystiqAnti-masterpiece theater presents: Postal originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 31 Jan 2007 18:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>GarbagePostalUwe BollUweBollWed, 31 Jan 2007 18:15:00 EST<![CDATA[Kristanna Loken dumps Uwe Boll]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/11/09/kristanna-loken-dumps-uwe-boll/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/11/09/kristanna-loken-dumps-uwe-boll/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/11/09/kristanna-loken-dumps-uwe-boll/#commentsFiled under:

Infamous video game director Uwe Boll is going to have to find a new "star" to drag through the mud. Kristanna Loken, star of two Boll films -- BloodRayne and the as-of-yet unreleased In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale -- has thrown the "engaged to be engaged" ring back in Uwe's face and has decided to move on to bigger and better things. BloodRayne 2 is just not in the Hollywood stars for Loken. Good move, Ms. Loken, Uwe just isn't good enough for you.

Loken's official statement is that she's too busy working on Painkiller Jane, a Sci-Fi series. Replacing Loken as Rayne (and Uwe's next "fling") in BloodRayne 2 (the first one warranted a sequel?) is Natassia Malthe. After checking IMDB, we discovered that Malthe doesn't exactly have a stellar career of her own. We have to respectfully inform Ms. Malthe that those "Oscars" in Uwe's office are made of Papier-Mâchè.

Loken's excuse for not working on a third Boll movie and reprising her role as Rayne is questionable. Maybe Loken decided it was about time to get out of the acting gutter and start working on some better projects? In any case, that hasn't stopped Boll from wasting other people's money; working on future flops such as Postal, Far Cry, Alone in the Dark 2 (again with the sequels) and non-gaming IP Seed. Who knows, maybe BloodRayne 2 will turn out like Superman Returns as Uwe claims; a dull movie that somehow managed to make a profit.

(We are proactively denying any future boxing challenges Uwe Boll may deliver ... you fight too dirty, bro.)

JoystiqKristanna Loken dumps Uwe Boll originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 09 Nov 2006 22:40:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>Blood RayneBlood Rayne 2BloodRayneBloodRayne 2Bloodrayne2BollDungeon Siegedungeon siege taleDungeonSiegeDungeonSiegeTalefailureFar CryFar Cry movieFarCryFarCry movieFarCryMoviehack directorHackDirectorIn the name of the kingin the name of the king: a dungeon siege taleInTheNameOfTheKingInTheNameOfTheKing:ADungeonSiegeTalekristianna lokenKristiannaLokenlokenpostalpostal moviePostalMovieRayneSeedSeed movieSeedMovieUweUwe BollUweBollThu, 09 Nov 2006 22:40:00 EST<![CDATA[Vince Desi is a giant prick in Postal]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/10/26/vince-desi-is-a-giant-prick-in-postal/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/10/26/vince-desi-is-a-giant-prick-in-postal/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/10/26/vince-desi-is-a-giant-prick-in-postal/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Game Set Watch has managed to obtain a handful of images of Postal creator Vince Desi filming his cameo for the upcoming Uwe Boll adaptation. Desi plays Krotchy, a giant penis, and it appears he will be in a penis suit for the duration of his screen time.

Gamasutra also netted an interview with Desi. Where he talks about Postal 3, the decision to use the Source engine, and his reasons for going with Uwe Boll for the movie. Postal 3 is scheduled for an Xbox 360 release sometime in 2008.

JoystiqVince Desi is a giant prick in Postal originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 26 Oct 2006 23:20:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>postaluwe bollUweBollvince desiXbox-360Thu, 26 Oct 2006 23:20:00 EST<![CDATA[Uwe Boll to make BloodRayne 2, anger more gamers]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/10/04/uwe-boll-to-make-bloodrayne-2-anger-more-gamers/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/10/04/uwe-boll-to-make-bloodrayne-2-anger-more-gamers/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/10/04/uwe-boll-to-make-bloodrayne-2-anger-more-gamers/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Someone, for the love of every video game ever made into a movie, PLEASE stop Uwe Boll. We mean physically stop the guy. Find out where he's shooting, go out there, and take the camera away from him. Be sure to destroy any writing utensils or anything he might use to draw with as well.

Why? Because he's recently announced that he's making BloodRayne 2. That's right, a sequel to what people have been calling one of the worst films of the past few years. Don't forget, Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith came out in the last few years and so did Aeon Flux, Elektra, Son of the Mask, and The Pacifier.

The movie, like the first one, will no doubt have nothing to do with the game, but will have everything to do with sucking. That's despite the presence of Kristanna Loken, who really needs to take Uwe's number out of her cell phone.

JoystiqUwe Boll to make BloodRayne 2, anger more gamers originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 11:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>BloodRayneKristanna LokenmovieUwe BollUweBollWed, 04 Oct 2006 11:15:00 EST<![CDATA[Uwe Boll does something awful to another critic]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/09/25/uwe-boll-does-something-awful-to-another-critic/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/09/25/uwe-boll-does-something-awful-to-another-critic/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/09/25/uwe-boll-does-something-awful-to-another-critic/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Anti-filmmaker Uwe Boll has beaten another one of his critics completely senseless -- and this time it was in a boxing ring, not a darkened cinema. Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka of Something Awful infamy was the second to fall to the raging Boll's flying fists in a PR-driven series of boxing matches. Like any dignified artist, Boll vowed to silence critics by punching them in the face, proving once and for all that ... well, we're not sure what exactly this proves. We know he's a good boxer, at least.

In a video interview after the match, Kyanka amusingly points out that he now detests Uwe Boll not as a movie misdirector, but as a human being. According to the pummeled pundit, Boll offered to give his victims training beforehand and promised that his punches would be just for show. Quite apparently, that was not the case (video embedded after the break). Regardless, it now becomes clear that critics played right into Boll's gloved ham-hands. The selected participants arguably never stood a chance, something the video game violator well aware of in his struggle for Pyrrhic victory. Punching out a critic does not make his films any less craptacular and the whole fiasco has made him look like a fight-makes-right psychopath.

1UP contributor, Albert Art, snapped some pictures at the event and even conducted a brief interview with Boll. When asked why he continues to make video game films, Boll responds with an enlightening, "I keep doing video game based movies because look why not, all the comic-book get made into movies, even comics that sold 2000 copies there are movies out from it, why like big famous videos games shouldn't turn into movies." That about says it all.

[Thanks, albertart and VGM!]

Read - Something Awful's forum responds
Read - Albert Art's event coverage and interview
Watch - Video interview with Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka after the match
Watch - Boll's previous boxing match

Continue reading Uwe Boll does something awful to another critic

JoystiqUwe Boll does something awful to another critic originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 25 Sep 2006 21:55:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>Alone in the DarkAloneInTheDarkboxingEd WoodEdWoodHouse of the DeadHouseOfTheDeadLowtaxSomething AwfulSomethingAwfulUwe BollUweBollMon, 25 Sep 2006 21:55:00 EST<![CDATA[Uwe "I make crappy game movies" Boll silences his first critic]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/09/06/uwe-i-make-crappy-game-movies-boll-silences-his-first-critic/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/09/06/uwe-i-make-crappy-game-movies-boll-silences-his-first-critic/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/09/06/uwe-i-make-crappy-game-movies-boll-silences-his-first-critic/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Uwe Boll (the man responsible for making a mockery of video game movies -- all three of his video game movies appear on IMDB's Bottom 100 list) finally managed to silence one of his critics yesterday. He didn't do it by making a movie worth squat, but by applying his fists to the mouth of Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello, webmaster of Cine Cutre.

Despite his inability to satisfy film critics (or perhaps because of it) Boll's no idiot. First, he knows how to box. Second, he's selected a bunch of pudgy web geeks (not unlike yours truly) to face him in the ring. Of course he's going to win.

At least Boll's good at something.

JoystiqUwe "I make crappy game movies" Boll silences his first critic originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 06 Sep 2006 19:55:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>bolluwe bollUweBollWed, 06 Sep 2006 19:55:00 EST<![CDATA[Alone in the Dark pics, unbelievably scary]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/08/24/alone-in-the-dark-pics-unbelievably-scary/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/08/24/alone-in-the-dark-pics-unbelievably-scary/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/08/24/alone-in-the-dark-pics-unbelievably-scary/#commentsFiled under: ,


Alone in the Dark 5 looks gorgeous. That's really all there is to say about these images. Well, that, and they're really scary -- almost as scary as Uwe Boll. After all, the game is set in Central Park, the scariest place on earth. If you haven't looked into this game yet, be sure and check out the official site for more creepy goodness. We have to ask, who wants this game, and who wants it right now?

JoystiqAlone in the Dark pics, unbelievably scary originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 24 Aug 2006 12:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>alone in the dark 5AloneInTheDark5ataricarnbycentral parkCentralParkuwe bollUweBollxboxydeThu, 24 Aug 2006 12:30:00 EST<![CDATA[Internet casino sponsoring "Raging Boll" event]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/08/23/internet-casino-sponsoring-raging-boll-event/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/08/23/internet-casino-sponsoring-raging-boll-event/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/08/23/internet-casino-sponsoring-raging-boll-event/#commentsFiled under: ,

Widely known for his anti-masterpieces, House of the Dead, Bloodrayne and Alone in the Dark, German film director Uwe Boll drew plenty of internet ire in June by sending out a public challenge to his (many, many) detractors. Like any civilized and intelligent human being, Boll decided that the best way to deal with those that disagreed with his artistic vision for videogame adaptations was to punch them in the face, grr! The invitation urged haters to fly to Vancouver and meet the German in the boxing ring for a one-on-one session of metaphorically rich pummeling. Internet casino Goldenpalace.com has issued a press release stating that they will be the ones to sponsor the event, now dubbed "Raging Boll."

Naturally, the prestige gained from having your event backed by an internet casino cannot be overstated. The joint's CEO, Richard Rowe, notes that Boll's attention grab is refreshingly ridiculous. "We receive so many outlandish offers for advertising exposure that it is refreshing to see something that surprises even us. That is why we decided to get involved. This has gotten so much attention so far, and we can't wait to see how it will turn out." Before starting proper on 23 September, Uwe will stop off in Spain to battle Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello, a critic who has already vowed to Kill Boll (challenge video embedded in the latter section of the post). After that bout, Boll will face Something Awful's Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka, Jeff Sneider from Ain't It Cool News, Chris Alexander of Rue Morgue and Nelson Chance Minter from Website Critic.

All the fights will be filmed for inclusion in Boll's Postal film, no doubt rendered vaguely entertaining by showing his face deteriorating over the course of the event. It may even prove to be beneficial to his career -- a few brutal blows to the head might be just the thing to bring him to his senses. Perhaps then he'll realize how difficult it is to hold on to credibility when you've got boxing gloves on your hands.

[Via GameSetWatch]

Continue reading Internet casino sponsoring "Raging Boll" event

JoystiqInternet casino sponsoring "Raging Boll" event originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 23 Aug 2006 21:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>Alone in the DarkAloneInTheDarkBloodrayneBoxingDungeon SiegeDungeonSiegeEd WoodEdWoodHouse of the DeadHouseOfTheDeadPunch-OutUwe BollUweBollWed, 23 Aug 2006 21:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Boll adds Something Awful to punchout list]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/06/20/boll-adds-something-awful-to-punchout-list/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/06/20/boll-adds-something-awful-to-punchout-list/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/06/20/boll-adds-something-awful-to-punchout-list/#commentsFiled under:

The man every gamer loves to hate has accepted an application to knock out (or get knocked out by) one of his many critics: Something Awful's Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka. Like a man of his word, Uwe Boll will not back down from those who seek to knock him from his throne of cinema la crap.

So, unrelenting in their constant Boll-bashing, Something Awful is ready to step up to the plate and take one for the team: "I sent Mr. Boll an email, asking him if his offer still stood. Would he still fly me up to participate in one of his unintentionally horrific non-horror films, this time with the lure of physically kicking the snot out of me on film? Well folks, I'm proud to say the answer was 'yes.'"

I wonder if Boll truly knew what he was getting into when he opened his big mouth. Perhaps he wouldn't be as hated around the Internets if he wasn't so outspoken about everything. Mr. Boll, please do us all a favor, shut your trap and try your hardest not to make movies that make us feel abused and insulted.

[Via Destructoid]

JoystiqBoll adds Something Awful to punchout list originally appeared on Joystiq on Tue, 20 Jun 2006 12:28:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>Something AwfulSomethingAwfulUwe BollUweBollTue, 20 Jun 2006 12:28:00 EST<![CDATA[Now's your chance to throw down with Uwe]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/06/13/nows-your-chance-to-thrown-down-with-uwe/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/06/13/nows-your-chance-to-thrown-down-with-uwe/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/06/13/nows-your-chance-to-thrown-down-with-uwe/#commentsFiled under:


Truth is indeed stranger than fiction, unless that fiction is the work of German film-butcher Uwe Boll, in which case its ability to destroy brain cells while melting your ocular receptors is pretty darn strange in and of itself. Otherwise, truth is stranger. Like when Sir Uwe released a press statement urging his critics to "put up or shut up!" Seriously.

If you published at least two negative reviews of any of Uwe's films before 2006, either online or in print, submit proof to info@boll-kg.de and (if yours were especially mean) you could be selected as one of five lucky winners to throw down with Uwe in a 10-bout match. There are some caveats: you can't have two X chromosomes (sorry ladies); you have to be between 140 and 190 pounds (sorry skinny kung-fu guys); you can't ask for money (sorry opportunists). All you get is a hotel room in Vancouver and the possible lifelong satisfaction of knowing that the entire gaming community was living through you, vicariously, while you pounded on Uwe.

JoystiqNow's your chance to throw down with Uwe originally appeared on Joystiq on Tue, 13 Jun 2006 13:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>MoviesPostalUwe BollUweBollTue, 13 Jun 2006 13:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Pac-Man: The Movie, not coming to any theaters near you]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/06/01/pac-man-the-movie-not-coming-to-any-theaters-near-you/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/06/01/pac-man-the-movie-not-coming-to-any-theaters-near-you/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/06/01/pac-man-the-movie-not-coming-to-any-theaters-near-you/#commentsFiled under: ,

In my opinion, the concept behind this home-made trailer for a fictional Pac-Man movie surpasses that of any other full length movie based on a game. Not that it's got much competition. Choice quote: "It looked like some kind of man, some kind of... Pac-man."

[Thanks, Justin]

JoystiqPac-Man: The Movie, not coming to any theaters near you originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 01 Jun 2006 18:10:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>CinemaGameshome madeHomeMadeHumorHumourMovieMovies on gamesMoviesOnGamesPac-MantheaterUwe BollUweBollYouTubeThu, 01 Jun 2006 18:10:00 EST<![CDATA[Metal Gear Solid movie confirmed definitively]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/05/15/metal-gear-solid-movie-confirmed-definitively/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/05/15/metal-gear-solid-movie-confirmed-definitively/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/05/15/metal-gear-solid-movie-confirmed-definitively/#commentsFiled under: , , ,


Metal Gear Solid creator, Hideo Kojima, has already ruled out Uwe Boll ("it's impossible") as a directorial candidate of a possible cinematic adaptation of the celebrated series, without confirming that such a project was even under way ... until now, that is. Gamespot reports that the Kojima Productions spoof of the E3 Show Daily, dubbed "Show Maybe," teases, "In a late-breaking surprise announcement, director Hideo Kojima revealed that his most famous creation -- Metal Gear Solid -- is getting the live-action treatment."

On the back page Kojima writes, "I have received many offers to adapt Metal Gear Solid. It has taken a long time, but we have finally settled on an arrangement ... False facts aside, a movie project is underway. I have finalized a Class-A contract with a party in Hollywood." Now that the cat's out of the bag, expect periodic updates leading up to the 2007 release of Metal Gear Solid 4. Who's directing? Whose starring? For once, fans can't complain about lengthy cut scenes!

JoystiqMetal Gear Solid movie confirmed definitively originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 15 May 2006 19:27:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>E32006Hideo KojimaHideoKojimaMetal Gear SolidMetal Gear Solid 4MetalGearSolidMetalGearSolid4MGSMGS4MovieMoviesPS2PS3PSPUwe BollUweBollMon, 15 May 2006 19:27:00 EST<![CDATA[Uwe Boll scores Starcraft trilogy rights]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/04/03/uwe-boll-scores-starcraft-trilogy-rights/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/04/03/uwe-boll-scores-starcraft-trilogy-rights/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/04/03/uwe-boll-scores-starcraft-trilogy-rights/#commentsFiled under: ,

From the "news so icky it makes you itch" department, Mike Mullen of AOL Games wrote to let us know that we'd somehow missed his scoop on Uwe Boll's announcement that he'd managed to score rights to direct (and ruin, probably) a trilogy of movies based on Blizzard's hit Starcraft series of real-time strategy games.

No actors or actresses have been confirmed, according to AOL, though Boll does have a short list in mind. We're still having trouble believing that Blizzard would ever lend the Starcraft name to a guy known (and reviled) across all of gamedom, but then again, Blizzard parent company Vivendi is known to have quite an appetite for game-to-movie and movie-to-game adaptations. Bloody hell.

JoystiqUwe Boll scores Starcraft trilogy rights originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 03 Apr 2006 20:01:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>starcraftuwe bollMon, 03 Apr 2006 20:01:00 EST<![CDATA[Loken feels cheated after BloodRayne experience]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/03/23/loken-feels-cheated-by-bloodrayne-experience/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/03/23/loken-feels-cheated-by-bloodrayne-experience/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/03/23/loken-feels-cheated-by-bloodrayne-experience/#commentsFiled under: ,

Kristanna Loken and Uwe BollIt would seem Kristanna Loken has officially gone off the deep end after drawing comparisons between the works of Uwe Boll and The Bard. Referencing her role in our favorite director's upcoming Dungeon Siege film, Loken suggests, "My character basically lives in the trees with her band of women and protects the forest, I would think a la Puck in A Midsummer Night's Dream." A sign of the apocalypse, you say?

The Terminator 3 star also feels cheated by Romar Entertainment's weak efforts in distributing the BloodRayne film, and she wasn't expecting such negative reactions to her first Boll collaboration. "I was actually very, very surprised. I know that Uwe does not have a great track record, to say the least." I think you've stumbled upon something, my dear.

An unrated director's cut of BloodRayne is due in May. Any takers?

[via Eurogamer]

JoystiqLoken feels cheated after BloodRayne experience originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 23 Mar 2006 19:55:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>bloodraynekristanna lokenuwe bollThu, 23 Mar 2006 19:55:00 EST<![CDATA[Dungeon Siege: Throne of Agony announced for PSP]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/03/16/dungeon-siege-throne-of-agony-announced-for-psp/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/03/16/dungeon-siege-throne-of-agony-announced-for-psp/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/03/16/dungeon-siege-throne-of-agony-announced-for-psp/#commentsFiled under: ,

2K Games (which is under Take-Two Interactive, those guys who made...what was that game again?) today said that they've acquired the rights to publish specific titles in the Dungeon Siege series. Among the two titles revealed, one game, Dungeon Siege: Throne of Agony, is slated to see play on the PSP. Under development with SuperVillain Studios, the game will feature a non-linear single player experience as well as competitive and cooperative ad-hoc gaming.

What I'm wondering is, are they planning to release this game around the same time Uwe Boll's anticipated abomination of a film hits theaters? If the game's already titled, "Throne of Agony", I'd say do it.

[Via Boomtown]

JoystiqDungeon Siege: Throne of Agony announced for PSP originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 16 Mar 2006 23:55:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>Dungeon SiegePSPStrategy gamesTake-TwoUwe BollThu, 16 Mar 2006 23:55:00 EST<![CDATA[Uwe leaves Razzies empty-handed]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/03/06/uwe-leaves-razzies-empty-handed/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/03/06/uwe-leaves-razzies-empty-handed/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/03/06/uwe-leaves-razzies-empty-handed/#commentsFiled under:

Now that the Oscars have come and gone, we cannot help but recall the "winners" of this year's Golden Rasberry Awards. Last month, director Uwe Boll had decreed that "it is a great honour" to be nominated for a Razzie...under the category for "Worst Director." As Mr. Boll put it, "I take every prize I get."

Sorry, Mr. Boll, but unfortunately you could not even win that prize. Instead, director John Asher took home the dubious award for his picture Dirty Love, starring girlfriend Jenny McCarthy. While he may have gone home empty-handed, Uwe Boll might feel more comfortable knowing that his thriller Bloodrayne is #20 worst film (according to IMDB), while Dirty Love isn't even in the bottom 100. Better luck next year!

JoystiqUwe leaves Razzies empty-handed originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 06 Mar 2006 20:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>BloodrayneRazziesUwe BollUweBollMon, 06 Mar 2006 20:30:00 EST<![CDATA[Bracing ourselves for House of the Dead 2: Dead Aim]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/02/09/bracing-ourselves-for-house-of-the-dead-2-dead-aim/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/02/09/bracing-ourselves-for-house-of-the-dead-2-dead-aim/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/02/09/bracing-ourselves-for-house-of-the-dead-2-dead-aim/#commentsFiled under:


Lock the doors! Board up the windows! Protect your brains! The sequel to cinematic-hack Uwe Boll's House of the Dead is coming and there's nothing you can do to keep it out of your house... it's being shown inside the house*! House of the Dead 2: Dead Aim is the low-budget, Sci-Fi channel sequel to Uwe's zombie crap-fest. The funny thing is, the creators obviously knew about the first one, and still wanted to make a sequel.

In an interview with the screenwriters on Rotten Tomatoes (via Cathode Tan) one of them says, "House of the Dead 2 is a completely different movie, which is not tied to the first movie. The only thing both movies have in common is the title - and zombies, of course." While this is technically true, we'd be remiss if we didn't point out that the screenwriters were involved with another of Uwe's films: Alone in the Dark (which is considered by many to--somehow--be worse than the original House of the Dead).

Cinematical has a post about how House of the Dead 2 was shot at the historic Ambassador Hotel, home to the Cocoanut Grove nightclub and the 1968 assassination of Robert F. Kennedy. The Ambassador was torn down in January to make way for a school, making House of the Dead 2 the hotel's last production... it ends not with a bang but with a whimper.

*Not applicable to those who live outdoors.

[Update: grammatical correction]

JoystiqBracing ourselves for House of the Dead 2: Dead Aim originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 09 Feb 2006 23:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>Ambassador HotelAmbassadorHotelHouse of the DeadHouseOfTheDeadUwe BollUweBollThu, 09 Feb 2006 23:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Kojima on Uwe Boll: "It's impossible"]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/02/03/kojima-on-uwe-boll-its-impossible/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/02/03/kojima-on-uwe-boll-its-impossible/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/02/03/kojima-on-uwe-boll-its-impossible/#commentsFiled under: ,

The Kojima Productions Report, the English companion to Hideo Kojima's audioblog HIDECHAN, released its second installment today, and it's already bearing fruit! Host Ryan Payton delivers a message from Kojima-san dispelling recent "nasty rumors" that Uwe Boll is being considered to direct an upcoming Metal Gear Solid movie. Says Kojima:

"Absolutely not! I don't know why Uwe Boll is even talking about this kind of thing. We've never talked to him. It's impossible that we'd ever do a movie with him."

Ouch! Kojima sounds pretty confident that Konami isn't sidestepping his authorial control anytime soon, even if Boll did receive a copy of the script. Oh, and Uwe, congratulations on that recent Razzie nomination; we know you have what it takes to bring home the Golden Raspberry!

JoystiqKojima on Uwe Boll: "It's impossible" originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 03 Feb 2006 15:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>Hideo KojimaHideoKojimaMetal Gear SolidMetalGearSolidPS2StealthUwe BollUweBollFri, 03 Feb 2006 15:15:00 EST<![CDATA[Dungeon Siege trailer overdoses on LOTR]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/01/27/dungeon-siege-trailer-overdoses-on-lotr/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/01/27/dungeon-siege-trailer-overdoses-on-lotr/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/01/27/dungeon-siege-trailer-overdoses-on-lotr/#commentsFiled under:


What has orcs, elves, John Rhys-Davies, and ends in "of the King?" No, it's not Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, silly! It's Uwe Boll's latest, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. What else does his LOTR-killer bring to the table: that ass-kicking bald-guy from The Transporter, ninjas, Burt Reynolds, ninjas, Ray Liotta, and, in an Oscar-worthy role, Matthew Lillard!

No, I'm not kidding, the annoying guy from Scream.

Read on for the YouTube video, or use this link for a high-res, though unreliable, version.

[Thanks, hellmasterx]

Continue reading Dungeon Siege trailer overdoses on LOTR

JoystiqDungeon Siege trailer overdoses on LOTR originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 27 Jan 2006 22:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>Dungeon SiegeDungeonSiegeUwe BollUweBollFri, 27 Jan 2006 22:15:00 EST