Joystiq

April Fools: Journey gets a trailer for Rocket Death Match DLC

Mike Schramm — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 05:00:00 EST

thatgamecompany is probably the last group of folks we expect these shenanigans from; They're always so artsy and sincere! But there must be a few yuksters around Sony's studio in Santa Monica, because the studio created this faux trailer for April Fool's Day, threatening to invade the serene landscape of Journey with some raucous Rocket Death Match DLC.

Then again, maybe it makes sense. Getting vaporized with an across-the-map rocket shot in Halo might not be the same kind of emotion that we felt at the end of Journey, but they can both be pretty tearful experiences.

April Fools: Journey gets a trailer for Rocket Death Match DLC originally appeared on Joystiq on Tue, 02 Apr 2013 05:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Dishonored creators lie about everything in their own game

Jessica Conditt — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 22:00:00 EST

Every year on April 1, the barrage of joke videos and announcements roll in, and every year, there's a clear winner in the "Oh, man, that's good" category. This year's frontrunner is a subtle, hilarious walkthrough video from Dishonored co-creators Raf Colantonio and Harvey Smith. Watch in wonderment as the pair spout off inaccuracies about their own game, all delivered in calm, professional tones.

Listen for a few of our favorite lines, such as, "The thickness of the air is simulated," "This is the player's love interest," "The plants grow at real-time in the game," "For the rest of his life he has no legs," and the conversation about Fabrice's door-lighting expertise.

April Fools: Dishonored creators lie about everything in their own game originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 01 Apr 2013 22:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Minecraft 2.0 is finally coming

Jessica Conditt — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 18:00:00 EST

No, it's really not, but in the ridiculous pranking tradition of April Fools Day, Mojang has curated a batch of fan-created trailers for a fictional Minecraft sequel. The videos feature update suggestions from Mojang, including death by chickens, exploding farm animals, floating sheep, horses, a "Hostile" game mode, six new decoration blocks (including Slime) and many more changes, listed here.

Mojang teases that Minecraft 2.0's announcement comes in celebration of the PC series nearing 10 million sales. And no, that one isn't a joke.

April Fools: Minecraft 2.0 is finally coming originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 01 Apr 2013 18:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Football Manager 1888 edition announced

Mike Suszek — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 14:30:00 EST

Chalk this April Fools joke up as cruel, because Sports Interactive's announcement of Football Manager 1888 today leaves us with a game we know doesn't exist that we want to play so badly. The developer says the fake game gives players "the option of taking over any of the original 12 clubs involved in the 1888/89 season and guiding them to league and cup glory."

Screens of the management game's interface are sepia-toned and weathered, giving the game an "authentic" 1888-era look. "You will experience real life problems of the era, such as: players being called up to the army leaving you with a hole in your squad and players having to retire from football with immediate effect following a serious injury," the announcement reads.

With the Football Manager modding community being as active as it is, we hope this mode will exist in some capacity in Football Manager 2013. Until then, it's just another one of today's April Fools jokes.

April Fools: Football Manager 1888 edition announced originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 01 Apr 2013 14:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Assassin's Creed on Kinect makes people look like Fools, also it's April

Jessica Conditt — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 15:30:00 EST

A dark, cynical part of us truly enjoys April Fools' day. We already have severe trust issues with the world at large, and one day a year we're allowed to look at every single person with a complete lack of belief or respect and have it be totally normal. We're proud to say that while we watched the above trailer for Assassin's Creed on Kinect, the expression on our faces was absolutely normal.

Assassin's Creed on Kinect makes people look like Fools, also it's April originally appeared on Joystiq on Sun, 01 Apr 2012 15:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Nyko offers 3D glasses for 3DS

JC Fletcher — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 17:30:00 EST

For those of you who find glasses-free 3D unnatural, Nyko (doesn't actually) have a solution: 3D glasses for use with the 3DS. Featuring "Lens-less is More" technology, the $100 frames accurately bring the 3D movie experience home -- at least the part of the experience that involves wearing giant, stupid glasses.

The April Fools' Day joke on the Nyko website acted as a lead-in for a Facebook contest, in which fans were asked to send in pictures of their own useless 3D glasses. The prize was a free Charge Base/Power Pak+ package -- a product which, unlike these glasses, has been proven by a reliable authority to have a function.

[Thanks, Mike]

April Fools: Nyko offers 3D glasses for 3DS originally appeared on Joystiq on Sun, 03 Apr 2011 17:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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First real and fake BurgerTime HD trailers

JC Fletcher — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 15:30:00 EST

MonkeyPaw Games is going back to the kitchen to create a new serving of BurgerTime -- which is a good idea, considering the original burgers are now 29 years old, and that's disgusting. For those of you interested in sampling BurgerTime HD's new recipe, you'll find a trailer after the break.

Also after the break is MonkeyPaw's heartbreaking April Fools' Day joke, a trailer for the "Delicious Edition" DLC, which replaces Peter Pepper with Burger King's eponymous, creepy monarch. It was a joke, but ... we would have been totally into playing as the King. So much so that we would have walked into a Burger King and purchased Burger King food to make that happen. We were willing to go that far.

Continue reading First real and fake BurgerTime HD trailers

First real and fake BurgerTime HD trailers originally appeared on Joystiq on Sun, 03 Apr 2011 15:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Forza 4 pitch video pulled by Microsoft

Ludwig Kietzmann — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 18:30:00 EST

If you must suffer an unforeseen failure in confidentiality on any day of the year, what better day than April 1st? It's the one time when the internet can muster some skepticism, even while presented with purportedly leaked footage of a high-profile sequel. Doubt over the authenticity of an "internal" pitch video of Forza Motorsport 4 might have obscured the news, had Microsoft not pulled it from Youtube.

According to a Microsoft statement received and published by several gaming news sites, the video "was not intended for public distribution and may not accurately reflect features and functionality that ship in Forza Motorsport 4." The company's concern may lie in promising features that have yet to be finalized, such as 16-player online races, the contribution of over 80 automobile manufacturers and the introduction of social car clubs.

(One promoted feature we can rule out with ease, however, is the career mode that has you "literally" traveling the globe. Forza 4 isn't likely to include a bundle of plane tickets -- if it did, you'd have a cheap opportunity to swing by this year's semantics nazi convention.)

Considering the glossy, flattering nature of the video, and the presence of already-announced additions like Kinect head tracking, it's possible that April Fools' Day marked the start of a viral marketing campaign for Forza 4. Let's see how long this version of the video stays up, and whether Microsoft comes knocking on our door. Not literally.

Continue reading Forza 4 pitch video pulled by Microsoft

Forza 4 pitch video pulled by Microsoft originally appeared on Joystiq on Sat, 02 Apr 2011 18:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Steam offering 13 indie games (including Super Meat Boy!) for 75% off

Ben Gilbert — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 11:30:00 EST

Rather than go the "make up a fake game/product/service" route that so much of the game industry takes on April Fool's Day, Valve instead put together an indie bundle and heavily discounted it, making those who didn't buy it fools in the process. It's what we like to call "the old switcheroo."

Including Joystiq Game of the Year awardee Super Meat Boy, terror simulation Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and Gaijin Games' synesthetic masterpiece Bit.Trip Beat, "The Potato Sack" drops all 13 games by 75 percent off their normal asking prices (or 50 percent when purchased a la carte). Considering that all of those games would normally cost around $160 if you bought them individually, you're looking at a savings of approximately $120. Also, you'll do untold wonders for your invaluable indie cred. And hey, if none of that does it for you, there's a potato hat for Team Fortress 2 included.

Also of note, each of the bundle's games have been modified with a potato-themed update -- head to the gallery below for a look at Super Meat Boy and Bit.Trip Beat's starchy additions.

Update: Added AaAaAA!! -- A Reckless Disregard for Gravity to the gallery, courtesy of NoodleGunshot.

[Thanks Joseph Leakey!]

Gallery: Indie April Fools 2011

Steam offering 13 indie games (including Super Meat Boy!) for 75% off originally appeared on Joystiq on Sat, 02 Apr 2011 11:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: CD Projekt Red reveals The Bard: Saviors of Queens

Griffin McElroy — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 05:10:00 EST

Sorry guys, we just don't get it. Maybe if we were more familiar with the Witcher franchise, we'd be able to wrap our minds around CD Projekt's April Fools' Day goof. It's created a fake game titled The Bard: Saviors of Queens, a trailer and dev diary for which are posted below. It's about a guy who kills dragons and bandits while bedding as many women as humanly possible.

Here's our problem: Isn't that also what The Witcher is all about? It's been a while since we played it -- there's a very real chance that we're confusing it with CD Projekt's earliest title, The Lusty Swordhand. Still, on the April Fools outrageous-o-meter, this one falls on the "potentially could become a real thing" side of the spectrum.

Continue reading April Fools: CD Projekt Red reveals The Bard: Saviors of Queens

April Fools: CD Projekt Red reveals The Bard: Saviors of Queens originally appeared on Joystiq on Sat, 02 Apr 2011 05:10:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Razer's Talon Bio-Exoskeleton

Richard Mitchell — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 02:10:00 EST

Razer's April Fools gag is aimed at players who find their StarCraft performance utterly hopeless and their Call of Duty: Wisconsin skills in the dumps. Were it real, the Razer Talon would be "the world's first gaming bio-exoskeleton," capable of driving your in-game actions per minute (APM) well past the boundaries of human limitations.

"The Razer Talon will learn your primary mouse and keyboard actions. The Razer Talon will take over and begin to execute your actions at a lighting fast pace," reads the Razer website. Just be sure to stock up on the also fictional Razer Snake Oil Hyperesponse Lubricant in order to slow the progress of Talon-induced tissue damage.

April Fools: Razer's Talon Bio-Exoskeleton originally appeared on Joystiq on Sat, 02 Apr 2011 02:10:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Guild Wars 2 introduces modern Commando warfare

Alexander Sliwinski — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 22:10:00 EST

Not to be outdone by Blizzavision's World of Duty: Modern Warcraft, it appears NCsoft's Guild Wars 2 will counter with a Commando profession for the upcoming MMO. Featuring the motto: "If it bleeds, I can kill it," the contemporary military unit will "Oscar Mike" into the fight on land, sea or air across the fantasy realm.

Some may argue that the profession is overpowered against evil bunny and dragon tangos, given that the class can equip grenades, drive all types of modern vehicles, and call in gunships, Predator air strikes and naval bombardment... but allow us to assure you that it totally is. Good thing the profession is just another April Fools joke.

Continue reading April Fools: Guild Wars 2 introduces modern Commando warfare

April Fools: Guild Wars 2 introduces modern Commando warfare originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 01 Apr 2011 22:10:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Bungie docks the Pimps at Sea on Facebook

Ben Gilbert — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 19:40:00 EST

Bungie's classic Pimps at Sea series has seen its highs and lows during its storied history -- Pimps at Sea 64, Call of Pimps: Sea Warfare, Ar Tonelico Navale: Pimps of Ar Sea El -- but fans are assuredly in for a treat with the company's latest iteration: PimpsVille for Facebook! Bungie COO "and trans-media marketing guru" Pete Parsons explains the new project by saying, "I was talking to Mark Zuckerberg yesterday - who just so happens to be a really close friend of mine - and he said Facebook has something like 500 million users. I'm thinking if we can get one dollar from every one of those guys, we can easily make a billion dollars." Truer words, Pete!

No time has been given for the launch of PimpsVille, but we imagine that Bungie will wanna get out ahead of kids going on summer vacation. Or it'll never come out, because it's totally fake, but you never know. Weirder things have happened, right?

April Fools: Bungie docks the Pimps at Sea on Facebook originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 01 Apr 2011 19:40:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Gaijin hints at Bit.Trip for 3DS (again)

Griffin McElroy — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 16:40:00 EST

Oh, Gaijin Games -- you truly are a cruel mistress. Not only have you teased us once again with the Bit.Trip franchise's arrival on the 3DS by emailing us the red-and-blue Commander Video posted below, but you've done so on the day where absolutely nothing is believable. This is Bit.Trip.Sadistic.

Continue reading Gaijin hints at Bit.Trip for 3DS (again)

Gaijin hints at Bit.Trip for 3DS (again) originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 01 Apr 2011 16:40:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Telltale puts you in the game with Envelotech

Griffin McElroy — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 14:37:00 EST

Sure, the totally-fake Envelotech device shown off in Telltale's April Fools' Day video below has terrifying properties -- but was Puzzle Agent really the best way to showcase its potential for terror? We probably would have gone with Jurassic Park, or, at the very least, Torturetown.

Continue reading April Fools: Telltale puts you in the game with Envelotech

April Fools: Telltale puts you in the game with Envelotech originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 01 Apr 2011 14:37:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: The Old Republic localized into Wookiee language

JC Fletcher — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 13:10:00 EST

Ahwh rawh wowwwwoorcao aooo scraorwo ahaoc rrrascwo raoaoawoccahrhanwo rhro scoorcwo akwoooakanwo -- ahwhoaanhuwaahwhrr aorcwowo-waohwoananahwhrr, wwhurcrcro rrahrawhaoc -- rhahooohrarcwo rawhwhoohuwhoawowa aooowararo aoacraao ahao'c wwhuananro anoooaraanahufahwhrr Caorarc Ohrarcc: Aoacwo Ooanwa Rcwoakhurhanahoa ahwhaooo cacrorcahahohooooor, aoacwo anrawhrrhurarrwo ooww aoacwo ohooooorahwowoc.

Oaanahoaor acworcwo aooo cwowo aoacrcwowo coawowhwoc wwrcoosc aoacwo ooanwa rcwoakhurhanahoa ahwh cacrorcahahohooooor, oararcwowwhuananro cwoanwooaaowowa aooo wawoscoowhcaorcraaowo aoacwo scwoananahwwanhuoohuc rhworahuaoro ooww aoacraao anrawhrrhurarrwo. Rac ra cahwawo whooaowo, ohwo waoowh'ao huchuraananro rrwoao aooo cwowo aoacahc schuoaac wwooooaorarrwo ooww aoacwo rrrascwo, coo ohwo'rcwo rrrcraaowowwhuan aooo aoacwo anoooaraanahufraaoahoowh wwoorc aoacraao, rac ohwoanan. Hhwo shhucao acooakwo aoacahc waoowocwh'ao aoraorwo raohraro wwrcoosc aoacwo wawohowoanooakscwowhao ooww Scracc Wowwwwwooaao hoc. Warcrarroowh Rarrwo Orrarcaouf.

April Fools: The Old Republic localized into Wookiee language originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 01 Apr 2011 13:10:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Blizzard nails it, as always

Griffin McElroy — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 09:59:00 EST

For like, the hundredth year running, Blizzard has kicked off this most dishonest of days with an overwhelming salvo of fake additions to its current and pending titles. Take, for instance, the Diablo 3 "Horadic Cube" app, which possesses the power to combine your phone's applications into super applications. Or how about the new Kinect functionality for StarCraft 2? Not since Dance Central: The Krump Imperative have we seen such feverish flailing.

The best of the bunch is clearly the World of Warcraft update, which not only adds a new, pitch-black dungeon, but also a "Dungeon Helper" named Crabby, who assists you in navigating the game's instances. Go get acquainted with your new crustacean cohort -- but we wouldn't suggest letting Clippy find out. That dude's jealous as all get-out.

April Fools: Blizzard nails it, as always originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 01 Apr 2011 09:59:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Minecraft update adds megatransaction store

Ben Gilbert — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 09:30:00 EST

And so it begins. Today is the annual celebration fraught with clever (and not-so-clever) gags -- the day of fools and fooling, as it were -- and Minecraft dev Mojang is clearly taking the event very seriously. Beyond adding actual stuff in the game's beta update 1.4, the developer has launched the new (totally fake) "Minecraft Store," which features a collection of in-game items for purchase.

If the outrageous prices weren't enough of a tip-off -- $494 for the "Response from Support" item? -- the screaming Velociraptor from Mojang's match-three classic, BeDino Quest, which runs across the screen when you attempt to check out, should serve as enough of a heads-up. Unfortunately, a few sad sacks may still end up clicking away in an effort to snap up a $155 "Secret Griefer Identity" or what have you -- and to those folks, we wish you luck with the rest of today.

April Fools: Minecraft update adds megatransaction store originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 01 Apr 2011 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Use Razer Venom for those extended play sessions

Alexander Sliwinski — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 04:00:00 EST

Peripheral manufacturer Razer is taking on the brave new world of "gaming grade stimulant and nutritional supplement." Razer's new product, Venom, can keep gamers awake and going for over 100 hours -- however, if you do "yawn," just refuel with more and you'll be good to do.

If you're into mainlining your stimulants, a three-pack of Venom costs $40 and comes with a gold-plated needle -- apparently, it's reusable and classy. If you're not into needles, there's the wussy option of purchasing for $100 a Venom nebulizer to inhale the product. Not sure if Venom is right for you? Well, listen to what one beta tester said, "If an energy drink gives you wings, then this gives you a scram-jet!" That's endorsement!

April Fools: Use Razer Venom for those extended play sessions originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 02 Apr 2010 04:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: 'AaaAAAaaa' dev announces '14. Drunken Robot Pornography'

Alexander Sliwinski — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 02:00:00 EST

Dejobaan Games is giving into the financial realities of being an indie developer and has announced its next project: 14. Drunken Robot Pornography. The developer of AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! -- A Reckless Disregard for Gravity will have 14DRP revolve around an idea that gamers can really support, thus, making the small studio buckets of moolah.

Players take control of a giant robot designed to destroy humanity, but, because this is an indie title, you know there has to be some academically-pretentious niche twist. Sure, you destroy buildings and kill people, but the idea is to ruin the life of Penelope Raindance, "a young girl who wants to grow up to be a neurosurgeon. She's a promising young first grader, now -- but if you do things right, you can do away with her nuclear family, leaving her homeless and starving. Don't crush her. Crush her dreams. ... You win!"

The game will release in the third quarter of 2015 on PC and requires Windows 2K/XP/Vista; a 3.5GHz processor; 6GB system memory; a 3D card with 16MB video memory; and Microsoft DirectX 12.0.

April Fools: 'AaaAAAaaa' dev announces '14. Drunken Robot Pornography' originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 02 Apr 2010 02:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Alan Wake Wars

Richard Mitchell — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 23:30:00 EST

Throw another gag on the April Fools' Day fire, Remedy has entered the fray. Up for offer is Alan Wake Wars, a game that takes the taut, suspenseful bent of Alan Wake and tosses on a layer of real-time strategy. The game contains 17 maps, 24 unit types and a staggering 18 tech trees. Lots of different units are showcased in the video, including local militia, trucks and, our favorite, deadly lumberjacks. Honestly, as "real time psychological film noir action love story" games go, Alan Wake Wars looks to be on top of the pack. Check out the trailer after the break.

Continue reading April Fools: Alan Wake Wars

April Fools: Alan Wake Wars originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 01 Apr 2010 23:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Romancing an elcor in Mass Effect 2

Richard Mitchell — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 22:30:00 EST

[INVITINGLY INQUISITIVE] Did you enjoy playing through Mass Effect 2 and participating in its mature, emotional story?

[SMILINGLY CLANDESTINE] If so, you might like to hear about a secret love scene that can only be accessed as a female Commander Shepard.

[PROVOCATIVELY JOURNALISTIC] We have obtained a video of this secret sex scene that takes place between Shepard and a devilishly handsome elcor.

[ALARMINGLY CHEERFUL] The video can be seen after the break. We hope you enjoy it.

[DISTURBINGLY TITILLATED] We certainly did.

[PRANKISHLY TRIUMPHANT] This was all a sham. It is only an April Fools' Joke. We totally got you. Ha ha. Ha ha.

[APOLOGETICALLY SOLEMN] But seriously, enjoy the video.

Continue reading April Fools: Romancing an elcor in Mass Effect 2

April Fools: Romancing an elcor in Mass Effect 2 originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 01 Apr 2010 22:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: BlizzCon already sold out ... before tickets go on sale

Ben Gilbert — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 18:00:00 EST

In a surprise announcement this morning via IncGamers, Blizzard has revealed that tickets to the just-announced BlizzCon 2010 sold out earlier than ever before -- before the tickets even went on sale, in fact. Apparently, due to a high rate of calls on Blizzard's tech support line suffering from "3 - 4 hour wait times," the company released early tickets to some customers. "We didn't intend to sell all of them already, but I guess the vast, password-losing World of Warcraft community spread the word, and one thing led to another," CEO Mike Morhaime said.

He added that he's "looking forward to another great show, with some of our most passionate, patient, credit card-possessing fans," speaking from a recently purchased yacht, allegedly. You can check out the full press release right here, which you might have realized by this point is not legit.

April Fools: BlizzCon already sold out ... before tickets go on sale originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 01 Apr 2010 18:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Smell your PS3 games with PlayStation Scent

David Hinkle — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 17:00:00 EST

Move over Move, Sony's taking gaming into an all-new dimension: scent. Remember Smell-O-Vision? Of course you don't -- you're not that old. Well friends, the crack technology featured in the 1960 film Scent of Mystery is the future again, as Sony has announced "PlayStation Scent" with OXYtracking -- head past the break for the video press conference. Just affix the PlayStation Scent to your nose and start playing. At key moments, scent information embedded in the Blu-ray game disc will be transmitted to your nose!

The "Odorama" begins with a re-issue of Naughty Dog's Uncharted 2. Finally, you can smell the tucked in part of Drake's half-tuck. Then, experience all the sweet nose candy of upcoming releases Gran Turismo 5 (burning rubber) and SOCOM 4 (burning flesh!) -- now with PlayStation Scent support. Order yours today from Webhallen.com!

Continue reading April Fools: Smell your PS3 games with PlayStation Scent

April Fools: Smell your PS3 games with PlayStation Scent originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 01 Apr 2010 17:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Civilization V to feature 'Extreme Diplomacy'

Alexander Sliwinski — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 11:55:00 EST

Firaxis and 2K Games today announced "Extreme Diplomacy," a new feature for Civilization V, the upcoming installment of the tired strategy series. In an attempt to get the masses playing the turn-based snore fest, the series will add a fighting game death match arena: "two world leaders enter" ... "one world leader leaves." The victor is said to gain control of the defeated's empire.

The publisher has also announced an Über Edition of Civ V, which includes an 8-button joystick "to bring the classic fighting arcade game feel to these Extreme Diplomacy battles." Each faction leader will also have a super move, and we've listed the first six moves to be revealed after the break. Finally, Civilization will have some action!

Continue reading April Fools: Civilization V to feature 'Extreme Diplomacy'

April Fools: Civilization V to feature 'Extreme Diplomacy' originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 01 Apr 2010 11:55:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Ace Attorney Saga for Wii

Justin McElroy — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 10:29:00 EST

The hardest April Fools' gags to handle are the ones that trick our hearts, but not our brains. Intellectually, we know that the trailer for Ace Attorney Saga from Brazilian site Hadouken is a gag. Of course it is. But somewhere deep deep down in the secret part of our heart where wishes are stored, we need it to be real.

So, how about, just for today, we all just watch the video after the break and pretend it's real? That won't hurt anybody, right? There wouldn't be any ... objections to that, would there?

Continue reading April Fools: Ace Attorney Saga for Wii

April Fools: Ace Attorney Saga for Wii originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 01 Apr 2010 10:29:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Blizzard announces Blackthorne 2, Queen's Quest, Snuggie

Griffin McElroy — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 09:10:00 EST

There's really no point in writing up other April Fools' Day jokes after this one -- Blizzard pretty regularly knocks this holiday out of the park. For instance, the company's recently added mobile page has announced two new titles for cell phones: Blackthorne 2: Thorne Harder, which will feature an "epic hard rock soundtrack" and "some sort of arbitrary Twitter and Facebook integration," and Queen's Quest, an old-school text adventure starring Starcraft's Queen of Blades, which plays host to a "revolutionary Digital Rights Management (DRM) scheme."

That's not all -- three new items will soon (not) be added to the Blizzard storefront: a Deckard Cain Snuggie, a Diablo 3 body pillow and a Deckard Cain GPS voice module. Also, World of Warcraft announced a new "Equipment Potency EquivalencE Number" (E-PEEN) for comparing players' weapons and armor, and a $15,000 "Battle.net Neural Interface" peripheral. See, other companies? Don't try to roll up here with your fake expansions and announcements of romance novels based on your game's protagonist. Blizzard's putting you to shame.

April Fools: Blizzard announces Blackthorne 2, Queen's Quest, Snuggie originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 01 Apr 2010 09:10:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Virtua Fighter parodies Street Fighter/Tekken

Richard Mitchell — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 01:00:00 EST

Have you ever pondered what it would be like to blend Sega's super technical Virtua Fighter series with Street Fighter or Tekken? Well, ponder no more, as Sega has provided us with an answer. The end result would look something like the video embedded after the break, in which the company unveils the super fictional fighter, Virtua Fighter 5: Final Showdown. The simple, precise combos of the series have gone out the window, replaced with massive damage, fireballs and even Ultra Combo finishers.

Alas, as fun (blasphemous?) as it looks, it's only an April Fools' joke (for now). Which reminds us: You're going to see a lot of April Fools' jokes in the next 24 to 48 hours. We'll do our best to catalogue them here on Joystiq.

[Via @jaredr]

Continue reading April Fools: Virtua Fighter parodies Street Fighter/Tekken

April Fools: Virtua Fighter parodies Street Fighter/Tekken originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 01 Apr 2010 01:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: StarCraft II's Terran base is more than meets the eye

Randy Nelson — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 21:45:00 EST

It's the biggest StarCraft II announcement since the game itself -- and would make Michael Bay proud. Blizzard today unveiled the largest unit to date in its RTS franchise: the Terran Terra-Tron. This hulking bipedal war machine is actually built from the combined pieces of an entire Terran base. The base "transforms," if you will.

As if its sheer mass and weapons load-out weren't enough to intimidate Zerg and Protoss adversaries, the thing speaks. Phrases such as, "Hell, it's transformin' time" and "Terra-Tron, terrorize!" should turn any rush into a retreat. Blizzard has videos of the Terra-Tron doing big things on the game's official site -- but hurry, it might be gone come April 2.

[Via BigDownload]

April Fools: StarCraft II's Terran base is more than meets the eye originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 01 Apr 2009 21:45:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Chains of Olympus contains hidden 'Cube of War' mode

Randy Nelson — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:05:00 EST

Hot off its "Best Handheld Game" win at the 2009 Game Developer Choice Awards, Ready at Dawn has divulged the existence of a previously undiscovered mode within God of War: Chains of Olympus. Called "Cube of War," it allows players to take on the game's menagerie of murderous malcontents as ... an Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube.

RAD isn't saying how the deal to get the Cube in the game -- and out of Portal -- was struck, but it does have instructions on unlocking this tasty (like cake) triumph: "if you finish Chains of Olympus in god mode, no upgrades, and collect all the urns of power twice without dying you open up the companion cube as a hidden character." If you can muster that, we'd consider it a huge success. If you can't, at least watch what you're missing after the break.

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April Fools: Chains of Olympus contains hidden 'Cube of War' mode originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:05:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Helghast find love in Lovezone

Andrew Yoon — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 19:15:00 EST

Killzone isn't just about death and destruction. No, the Helghan world is just like our own, with stories of peril, triumph ... and love. Black20, in collaboration with IGN, have created a trailer for a fictional romance set in the Killzone universe. "Lovezone" tells the touching story of how two Helghast can meet on the battlefield, and the struggles they must overcome to realize their love.

Check it out after the break.

[Thanks, Jay!]

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April Fools: Helghast find love in Lovezone originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 01 Apr 2009 19:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: id reveals World of Quake Live

David Hinkle — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 19:05:00 EST

Imagine our surprise today when we tried to log into Quake Live for our usual 10 a.m. session of noob-fraggin' therapy, only to discover the image above. id has decided to do away with rocket jumping and replace it with epic mount riding, as it has revealed World of Quake Live. Much like the game of a similar name, this title promises epic mounts with up to four weapon slots (you can stack them with four BFGs!), as well as a new leveling system. Oh, and Aspir from Ludicrous Speed calls this the "best game evar." You should listen. Dude totally knows what he's talking about.

April Fools: id reveals World of Quake Live originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 01 Apr 2009 19:05:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Awesome handheld Witcher teased

Ben Gilbert — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:35:00 EST

CD Projekt RED, developer of The Witcher, and self-proclaimed "world's leading developer of games with 'The Witcher' in their title," announced the next title in its portfolio today. Currently in development for "all current-gen, next-gen and gen-after-next-gen handheld systems," The Witcher: Mysterious Secrets looks to marry the world of The Witcher with 8-bit processing power, 32-colors (though "half of the colours are not visible because the platform supports only 16 colours") and in a first for the Witcher franchise, downloadable content. Though little is known about the DLC as of yet, the company has already taken a firm stance on it, saying, "Yeah, DLC on a handheld. You wanna fight about it?"

The game certainly sounds ... ambitious ... but the development team seems vigilant when they say in the developer diary (after the break), "We all realize that handhelds are far more powerful than PCs and consoles all put together, but thanks to this move, we'll be able to break through all the barriers we've encountered so far." We'll keep you updated as we near the game's release window, currently slated for "between Tuesday and Friday 2010."

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April Fools: Awesome handheld Witcher teased originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:35:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Bungie introduces BUNGLE, blows up your mind

Xav de Matos — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 17:35:00 EST

Bungie takes the tournament scene seriously. How seriously? Enough to develop its own gaming league focusing on the niche shooter, Halo 3. How niche is it? It only sold a few million copies and there are a lot of people in the world. How many people? Stop asking so many questions. Google it, we don't know.

Bungie's new venture, the Bungie Ultimate Ninja Gaming League Extreme is poised to set the world on fire. Those brave enough to walk out of their mother's basement and into the fog of war are free to sign up now. A word of warning, though: You may want to practice your skill on any of the BUNGLE-approved maps -- designed by Bungie, creator of BUNGLE (and developer of Halo 3).

So, finish off your lunch burrito, wipe the shm?tz from your face and get ready to re-begin the fight you previously thought had been finished. BUNGLE is here and it's gonna tear you a new one.

April Fools: Bungie introduces BUNGLE, blows up your mind originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 01 Apr 2009 17:35:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Behold! Diablo III's Archivist

James Ransom-Wiley — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 17:05:00 EST

Forget the pen being mightier than the sword. A single "shush" uttered from the lips of the Archivist packs enough punch to burst the guts of Sanctuary's most disorderly beasts. The fourth of five Diablo III character classes was revealed today, in historic fashion. So saith the annals of Abd al-Hazir: "These brave souls wade into battle wielding tome and quill, armored not in ensorcelled plate or links of chain, but in the knowledge of generations past. These archivists fight not only for our future, but for our past as well."

The Archivist schools evil with such learned powers as the Lorenado and Quest Bolt, complimented by witty dialogue tree choices like "I've dropped knowledge" and "Test me and I will chronicle your pain." Man, somebody please point us to the library where this guy got his game!

[Thanks, Luis]

April Fools: Behold! Diablo III's Archivist originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 01 Apr 2009 17:05:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Wii Fit Balance Board gag

Richard Mitchell — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:35:00 EST

As if convincing more people to buy Wii Fit than Halo 3 wasn't a big enough gag already, it looks like Nintendo's Balance Board has yet another yuk up its sleeve. If it had sleeves, anyway. Those who fire up Wii Fit today will be greeted with the April Fools' Day joke featured in the video above.

"Joke" might be too strong a word, actually. It's not really ha-ha funny so much as it's "Mom-would-like-this" funny. Of course, given Wii Fit's demographic, that might be the point ...

April Fools: Wii Fit Balance Board gag originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:35:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Alpine Legend makes us yodel with joy

Griffin McElroy — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:20:00 EST

Though many different rhythm titles featuring nearly every imaginable genre of music have been released, we've yet to get our hands on anything that caters to our ... peculiar melodic desires. Thankfully, developer Snowy Top Productions will finally fulfill our falsetto fancy with their upcoming 360-exclusive yodel simulator, Alpine Legend. We've got the debut trailer posted after the break, but to learn about the game's intriguing mountain goat expansion, you'll need to go to the official site.

We actually got our hands on this bad boy at GDC, but haven't been able to discuss it due to an embargo. We understand your skepticism, but trust us, once you're blazing through "Ricola" on Expert, you'll be filled with a sense of righteous badassitude that you've never experienced before.

[Thanks, ugotamesij!]

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April Fools: Alpine Legend makes us yodel with joy originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:20:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Jack Thompson wants government to legalize gamer murder

Justin McElroy — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 14:50:00 EST

You may think he's a stick in the mud, but Jack Thompson does have a sense of humor. Want proof? Hot on the news of a slaying that may be connected to GTA, JT wrote us to say: "This is a switch, as it is typically the chronic players of these murder simulators that kill people - lots of people. In light of this new and welcome development, Miami anti-violent video game activist today puts forth a modest proposal to curtail sales of the Grand Theft Auto video games: Anyone who shoots and kills a player of the Grand Theft Auto video games gets a) a full pardon and b) a $5000 federal income tax credit because of the killer's successful efforts to reduce pollution."

A hilarious call for mass murder in the wake of an actual tragedy and a classic literature reference? Be still our hearts.

April Fools: Jack Thompson wants government to legalize gamer murder originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 01 Apr 2009 14:50:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Nintendo releasing M-rated Smash Bros.

Justin McElroy — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 12:52:00 EST

Well, we guess this is one way to show the hardcore that you haven't abandoned them. The always-dependable IGN says that Nintendo is rolling out the new "Wii Expand" service with Super Smash Bros. Brawl X: Extreme, a super-violent take on the company's party fighter.

When it really comes out because it's really real, SSBBX:E will allow Link to decapitate Mario. So, yeah, it's going to be the best game ever.

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April Fools: Nintendo releasing M-rated Smash Bros. originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 01 Apr 2009 12:52:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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April Fools: Gag taunts downtrodden Dragon Quest IX fans

JC Fletcher — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 11:48:00 EST

As a hilarious April Fools' Day prank, AkibaBlog posted a notice that Square Enix's DS role-playing game, Dragon Quest IX, had gone on sale early, with stores hosting surprise midnight launches. The blog posted pictures from other launch events in Tokyo's Akihabara district, passing them off as images of 2,000 eager gamers waiting to pick up their copies of the game. "The Starry Sky is protected, but the release date isn't," according to a fake marketing slogan.

If you happen to be in Akihabara, don't rush over to Sofmap! It's a joke. It seems especially cruel to pick on the people waiting for Dragon Quest IX, who are already grief-stricken over the game's delay from March 28 to July 11, and many of whom are probably crying right now, collapsed on the sidewalk outside of AsoBit Game City.

[Via Kotaku]

April Fools: Gag taunts downtrodden Dragon Quest IX fans originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 01 Apr 2009 11:48:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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