You know the old saying: game designers always want to be comedians, and comedians always want to be game designers. As part of DSI Comedy Theater, Gears of War creator CliffyB provided humorous anecdotes on his childhood and what drove him to the Nintendo World Championship. The troupe provides performance inspired by CliffyB's stories.

We don't want to spoil any of it, so go on and check it out yourself. Video embedded after the break.

Gears of War creator CliffyB will serve as an executive producer to the film adaptation, according to Mark Rein, Vice President of Epic Games. Speaking to Game Invasion at Midway's Gamer Day, Rein also explained that it was Jay Wilbur, the other Epic Game VP, who worked with Creative Artists Agency to negotiate the deal.

Having the creator of the franchise in such a prominent position is sure to satiate purists to the game, but so far we have seen only minimal plot that could not be stretched to a feature length. And CliffyB's production role may not give him too much influence, for better or worse -- after serving as executive producer for the latest film adaptation of his work, Frank Miller has decided to serve as director on his roles from now on.

No director has been announced, but the treatment was done by Stuart Beattie, scribe of Collateral, which bodes well. New Line won the rights to create the film, but we're still hesitant to call it will still come to fruition or fall through the cracks like Halo did.

[Thanks, Frank]

6:20 p.m.: The Joystiq crew walks the red carpet, because we're just that important.

6:33 p.m.: Gnarls Barkley's cover of the Violent Femmes' "Gone Daddy Gone" is blasting as we find seats in the press section. Cushy seats with recline-able chairs.

6:42 pm: Sam and Max introduce the start for the independent games festival. The mention of projectile vomiting is disturbing, but welcoming somehow.

6:43 pm: Jamil Moledina and Simon Carless march onto stage, noting that the show is being broadcast to the entire world. We sense somewhat sinister undertones.

At tonight's Game Developers Choice Awards, Epic Games' Gears of War took home three awards: best technology, visual arts, and the coveted Game of the Year award. On the independent side of things, Bit Blot's Aquaria won the Seumas McNally Grand Prize from the Independent Games Festival.

Okami picked up a win in one of the four categories it was nominated in (take that, AIAS). Unfortunately, Loco Roco did not pick up any awards despite two nominations (character design and audio). Independent game Everyday Shooter won two awards and a distribution deal from GameTap.

View the full list winners and nominees from both events below.

Epic's Mark Rein has divulged a list of issues that will be addressed by tomorrow's Gears of War update. The update, a prelude to Wednesday's new multiplayer maps, promises to fix the problem that left latecomers to a match without an audible voice. The noted aspect ratio bug that occurred with the Xbox 360's VGA cable has also been crushed beneath the weight of improved code. The full list of fixes reads as follows:

• Fixed aspect ratio distortion when using VGA cable with 4:3 displays at resolutions higher than 640x480
• Fixed voice issue with new players joining Player Match games in progress
• Players can now get the Achievement for "Dish Best Served Cold" when using Troika turret to kill RAAM
• Fixed rare situation where host could loop countdown and never start match
• Fixed rare situation where players could get stuck after chainsawing in multiplayer
• Reduced Grenade Tag melee distance
• Enabled "Strict" NAT check on host to prevent possible connection issues
• Optimized server browser queries to return results more quickly and prevent scroll bars from hiding quality of service icons
• Reduced number of possible revives in Execution to match Warzone
• Removed host name from Ranked match server browser
• Disabled security cameras in Ranked matches
• Ranked matches now require balanced teams (3v3 or 4v4)
• Increased penalty for quitting a Ranked match to -50 points
• Added additional cheat detection code
• Additional housekeeping updates

Those that find themselves exploding at an alarming rate should be pleased to learn that grenade tagging will now require more intimacy to be effective. Indeed, the ones closest to you always end up hurting you the most.

Despite being considered a tactical, team-centric game, Gears of War will not allow you choose who you play with in ranked matches. Epic Games programmer Joe Graf confirmed as much on the official forums recently, citing Microsoft certification as the reason. Graf, through a long series of discussion, explains that Microsoft would not allow the game to be shipped unless ranked match-ups were randomized (based on skill level, of course), though non-ranked games will still allow you to play with friends, privatize games, and send/accept invites.

From Graf's tone, we get the feeling Epic would prefer a more clan-friendly online system, and we're inclined to agree. Microsoft's theory, according to Graf, is that randomized ranked matches "prevent collaborative cheating (I kill you ten times, now you me, etc.)." However, this move will breed loner behavior -- why should I help a fellow teammate out when I now have less competition against my kill count?

A potential solution would be to reward players who heal their down-but-not-out brethren, thus promoting brotherly love. But might one also abuse this reward if friendly fire is enabled?

Halo 2 is cited by several forum members as having a matchmaking system that promotes teamwork, allowing you to play with a party of people. Halo 2 is an original Xbox title, however, and is therefore not bounded by MS's new policy. Will Halo 3 follow the same suit as Gears of War?

[Thanks, Sanchinos]

Gamers will be pleased to learn that all missions in the upcoming Gears of War should be easily accomplished without the need for excessive squinting or unanswered pining for a better television set. According to an entry on the official Epic Games forums, the upcoming, Unreal-powered and unbelievably macho tale of man versus monster has been tested on "small, non-HD TVs, to make sure you can read the writing." Presumably, the legible on-screen text in Gears of War will not be conveyed by a lonely security guard who calls at the worst possible times.

Though this news will allay the fears of those still confined to the realms of standard definition, developers shouldn't expect a pat on the head whenever they cater to a huge part of their audience. This just in: Gears of War will totally work on your Xbox 360. Thanks for going the extra mile, Epic!

[Via 1UP]

See also:

• Dead Rising: patch chance lost!
• Mea culpa for 360's Kong
• In defense of Sony's HDMI.O.U.

Yesterday, I sat down with video game standout Cliffy B and spoke with him about everything from Epic's upcoming 360 savior Gears of War to the recent E3 news. As usual, Cliffy was very open and honest and more than willing to answer anything thrown at him.

One answer I wasn't able to squeeze out, however, was what was up with those GoW viral marketing rumors. Cliffy quickly denied any knowledge or responsibility over them. Read the full interview after the break.

More than halfway done -- can he finish by Thursday?* Check back tomorrow as we update. As someone has already mentioned yesterday, the wonderful artist in question is Kurt Wenner: Master Street Painter. When his work is complete we will offer you high-resolution images of the mural.

See Also:
Day 1
Day 2

[update 1: fixed a typo]