Fans of Criterion's vehicular vehicleslaughter sim Burnout Paradise were supposed to receive the title's third major update this coming Thursday, codenamed "Cagney". The vaudevillian actor-turned-downloadable content will give Paradisians the opportunity to play through more than 70 events online in FreeBurn mode -- unfortunately, Paradisians of the Xbox 360 variety will have to wait a bit longer than their PS3 counterparts to enjoy the free update.

Unsurprisingly, the source of the hold-up is the rigorous Xbox Live certification process, which took longer than Criterion had expected. Their new release date for "Cagney" is the following Monday, July 14 -- though this delay won't affect PS3 owners. Nor will it affect DS owners, restaurant entrepreneurs, professional poker players, the current Dalai Lama, or the actual James Cagney, who is, in fact, deceased.

Console sandbox racer Burnout Paradise will soon be careening into oncoming traffic for PC, as developer Criterion announced this morning that it is rebuilding the title "specifically" to be played on a computer.

As the the first Burnout title to make the leap to the kingdom of the keyboard and mouse, Criterion is keeping mum on exactly what about Burnout Paradise is being tweaked in the move, stating only that the version will include "expanded multiplayer, enhanced online features, and community driven content." More information is expected to be announced later this morning as part of a live webcast on the Criterion Games website, so look for more PC-centric street carnage soon.

Talk of new downloadable content for Burnout Paradise has been burbling around the Criterion Games website. On the forums, creative director Alex Ward has revealed that new cars will be made available as downloadable content in both the Xbox 360 and PS3 version. More exciting, though, is news of the expansion of Paradise City, with the introduction of several islands to the map. Perhaps even more exciting, however, is news that the islands will be offered as a free update to the game.

Details are still scarce at this point, but Alex Ward states that bridges from the main section of Paradise City will lead out to the new islands, each of which will offer "a different type of gameplay." Whether this means that islands will depart from the open-ended style of Paradise, or whether the terrain of each will be suited to certain play styles remains to be seen. The islands themselves will be offered as free, mandatory software updates, while the new cars will be sold via the traditional microtransaction system.

Guns N Roses probably doesn't rank too high on lists of the "most prolific" or "most dependable" bands of all time. But on a list of bands that get you pumped, or, more specifically, so pumped that you almost jump up and kick your mom in the face, you'd almost certainly find GNR in the top 10. Perhaps realizing the band's inherent pumpitude, EA has requisitioned their track "Paradise City" to serve as the theme song for Burnout Paradise, which takes place in, you guessed it, Paradise City.

Of course, Axl won't be by his lonesome (probably for the best, if only so he doesn't drink himself into oblivion), he'll be joined by a bevy of bands like N.E.R.D., Faith No More and Seether. MTV Multiplayer has the full soundtrack listing right here.

We're just one day away from the new demo for Burnout Paradise, and we couldn't be more excited. We've stocked up on insurance, filled every part of our cars but the driver's seat with pillows and, of course, told our families goodbye. Now, there is only the waiting, the awful, awful waiting. ... And trying to come up with a good reason why we're wearing a helmet indoors.

If you're like us (and millions in market research says you are) we're going to help you ease the waiting with this new clip from the game. Well, it's a clip of the demo of the game. ... OK, fine, we know it's not super-substantial. But if you're counting the seconds to tomorrow, it may just be the scrap of hope you need to live through the night.