Those who were wishing to actually witness a few rounds of fisticuffs between crummy filmmaker Uwe Boll and occasionally crummy filmmaker Michael Bay (following Boll's challenge last weekend) have certainly ridden a rollercoaster of excitement and disappointment these past few days. We admit, we got pretty pumped after viewing the above video, a supposed confirmation that Bay had accepted Boll's terms, and that the two would meet in the ring -- unfortunately, this directorial showdown isn't in the cards (much to Boll's chagrin, we're sure).

An administrator on Michael Bay's official forums recently talked to the blockbuster poster boy (currently doing post-production work for "The Horsemen") who denied accepting Boll's challenge, and claimed he'd never spoken directly with Boll in the first place. We can't help but wonder -- is this another publicity stunt for the antagonized franchise-wrecker in light of the May 23 U.S. release for "Postal", or has Uwe finally lost his damn mind? Little from Column A, little from Column B.

[Thanks, Fernando]

We feel kind of dirty giving any sort of attention to the cancerous boil on film directing that is Uwe Boll, but when the guy is acting this freaking weird we just can't help ourselves. Boll has followed up his offer to stop directing if an online petition against him reached 1,000,000 signatures with a heavily-accented YouTube video that manages to insult Eli Roth, Michael Bay, George Clooney and practically all of Hollywood as "fucking retards" that don't understand that Boll is "the only genius in the whole fucking business."

While Tinseltown insults are all well and good, what really interested us was Boll's call for a "pro Boll petition" to counteract the anti-Boll forces. Boll said he "expect[s] a million votes, Pro Boll," and he's already well on his way, with a whopping 72 signatures so far on the Pro-Boll petition set up by FilmDrunk.com. That's a far cry from the 137,644 that have signed the anti-Boll petition as of this writing, but maybe it takes "the only genius in the whole fucking business" to understand the vagaries of the math involved.

Watch the video and read a transcript of Boll's rant after the break.

John Woo will direct and produce the film-half of Ninja Gold, a multiformat project co-created with celebrated game creator Warren Spector. According to Woo's production partner Terrence Chang, the concept is based on ongoing factual accounts of the Yakuza and Russian mob stealing gold from South Africa. "The idea actually started with John Woo," Spector told Reuters, "He wanted to do something involving traditional ninjas in a modern-day setting, and the idea just resonated with me."

The two components, the game and film, will be developed somewhat independently, while retaining similar elements that will provide a narrative link. In a departure from the norm, neither will be entirely based on the other -- think: convergence, like, totally. Though Spector has been credited as an executive producer of the film, he implied that Woo will be commanding the movie with little help from the game developers. Chang added that the film will be more reality-based (so no signature-Woo bullet ballets?), borrowing lightly from the fantastic elements of the game. Chang hopes that a script can be completed soon, so that production can begin next year. No timetable has been given for the game's development.

As for Woo's other game-related project, Stranglehold, Chang suggested that a film adaptation was a strong possibility. "We would definitely bring Stranglehold to the big screen," Chang said. "We would like game titles to have all kinds of possibility. Having a movie made from them is certainly a major consideration for deciding on a title."

Are you in Chicago tonight for the big PLAY! concert tomorrow, but weren't willing to shell out $125 for the VIP meet-and-greet at the event? Well, you might be in luck (even if you're not attending), as a few famous folks from the concert will be on hand to sign autographs in Chicago proper for free tonight.

From 7 to 9 PM (presumably Central time) at the Tower Records store on 2301 N. Clark St., Final Fantasy composer Nobuo Uematsu, bilingual songstress Angela Aki (who wrote and sang the theme song for FFXII), and Principal Conductor and Music Director of PLAY! Arnie Roth will be signing autographs to promote the world-tour premiere of 'PLAY! A Video Game Symphony' and the CD for More Friends - Music from FINAL FANTASY.

While this blogger is sadly occupied with prior engagements tonight, gamers in the area are more than welcome to mob that Tower Records and cause the store's employees much consternation and bewilderment. If you don't have any imported CDs to sign, however, don't fret: the store's web site claims to have "some awesome Japanese imports available for you to purchase and have autographed at the event." Not only that, Angela Aki will be performing live as well. Score! Anybody wanna tell us how this evening turns out when it's all sung and done?

[Via The Daily Northwestern; image culled from Angela Aki's blog, Nobuo Uematsu's Squenix profile, and Arnie Roth's 2005 interview with IGN]

See also:

• Official page for Tower Clark Street (with details on the signing)
• Ticketmaster site for the PLAY! concert debut tomorrow
• Sonic and Chrono composers to join PLAY! in Chicago