Don't worry if you don't find the headline funny right away. Some puns take time to take root and mature, like a fine vine.
Okay, but seriously, the news: Nintendo has announced that the "Metallic Rose" DS Lite, a pinkish sort of model that many may feel compelled to bury in the garden, will become available at retailers "later this month." The model was previously attainable only as part of a Nintendogs bundle.
As of May 19th, you'll be able to see the Rose shown off in commercials which star "celebrity spokespeople" like Carrie Underwood and America Ferrera. Another commercial will feature Liv Tyler, the odd one out with a Crimson/Black DS and a name that doesn't sound completely made up.
Though it often seems that the internet has the attention span of a Pixie-Stix-maddened toddler at a Pokemon zoo, it makes up for it with a long memory. Take, for instance, yesterday's denial from Nintendo of a new DS model rumored to be on the horizon last week. Oh, Nintendo? Oh really?
Internet, we direct your attention to January 25, 2006 when a Big N spokesperson denied having any knowledge of a new DS one day before announcing the DS Lite. So, Nintendo, we hope you'll forgive us if we're more inclined to just wait for E3 than to believe the lie factory you call a mouth.
...That was a little harsh, wasn't it? Sorry, we just really want to buy the DS again.
All you jerks out there who are used to lording your shiny new DS Lites over Phat-owning early-adopters might have to get used to playing second fiddle soon. In the latest issue of Japanese gaming rag Famitsu, publisher Hirokazu Hamamura speculates that a new version of Nintendo's best-selling handheld may be revealed at this summer's E3 trade show.
As detailed in a Bloomberg Japan report (sketchy machine translation), Hamamura's comments seem based on nothing more than industry chatter and pure conjecture on his part -- Nintendo predictably offered up a no comment. The timing does seem about right, though -- going back to the Game Boy days, Nintendo has released a new portable hardware revision roughly every two years since 1996's Game Boy Pocket (1998: Game Boy Color; 2001: Game Boy Advance; 2003: GBASP; 2004: Nintendo DS; 2005: Game Boy Micro; 2006: DS Lite). What would you like to see on a potential DS upgrade? Let us know in the comments.
Lock's Quest is a tower-defense-style game where you try to protect a group of inept friends from incoming attackers. Unlike those Flash games you might have played, Lock issues commands from the ground, running around small maps to build walls, turrets, and directly fight advancing enemies. The result comes together as a real-time strategy and action game, with light role-playing elements.
Completely stylus driven, you move Lock around much like Link. (The D-pad can shift the view, but the stylus issues all actions.) Taps direct Lock to new areas, while other stylus swings cause special attacks and specific actions. For example, gamers sequentially tap a group of randomly ordered numbers to add a boost.
But much of the game is about designing and defending structures. Lock uses resources enemies drop to build walls, gates, and turrets. The attackers advance randomly at first, but after the first wave hits your base, they learn where they were thwarted. The following groups will attempt other tactics to broach the defenses, possibly approaching from a different side or fighting with a different tactic. Your job is to hold up the fort over several "days" of these marching enemies, after which, everything repeats with a new level.
Scheduled for a Fall, 2008 release, Lock's Quest could be a unique action-puzzler with wide appeal. Action, RTS, and fans of other genres might all find something to like.
We're sure that many of you inquisitive DS owners out there have spent countless hours with your eyes peeled to your handheld's twin suns, waiting for Nintendo to post the latest downloadable brainteasers for Professor Layton and the Curious Village. This same group of puzzle junkies may be upset to learn that what they're actually downloading is a code to unlock puzzles which are already on the game cartridge -- essentially meaning that there's a set number of puzzles on the game (162, to be exact).
GoNintendo discovered a supposedly complete list of the game's riddles to back up this claim. You can check out every single puzzle featured in the game, and even choose to sneak a peek at every solution as well -- an action we can't help but feel would be frowned upon by the eponymous scholar and his pint-sized associate.
Players will use the stylus to conduct classic tunes from the, er, 'toons, and then be "rewarded with clips from favorite Looney Tunes cartoon moments." Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig, Daffy Duck, Sylvester the Cat and Tweety will be on hand for a game designed for "absolutely everybody who enjoys simple but addictive gameplay." And who doesn't enjoy that? No one, that's who! So that means everybody will enjoy this game! It's logic as indestructible as an ACME Indestructo Steel Ball.
Capcom has announced that Mega Man Star Force 2 will be out for the DS in June for $30. This action-RPG follow-up to last year's game follows in its Pokemon-like style, releasing in two different editions: Zerker X Saurian and Zerker X Ninja. (Huh. Where's the love for Ninja X Saurian?)
The local- and WiFi-network-able game relies on collecting new characters and collaborating with friends. With the right connections, players assemble a "portfolio of Battle Cards with distinct attributes," according to a Capcom fact sheet. We've been trying to get the kids -- and our closeted adult gamer friends -- off Pokemon for years. Maybe this is a step in the right direction?
When video game makers fix prices for consumers, it's considered the normal state of business. When LCD makers fix prices for game makers, they get raided by the Japanese Fair Trade Commission. So it goes.
AFP has the report on the investigation on screen-makers Sharp and Hitachi, which have long been suspected of organizing a bid-rigging cartel to limit price competition for portable screens. Between them, the two companies provide all the LCD screens used in the Nintendo DS, though Nintendo couldn't confirm that they were the ones that complained to the commission. No one else involved, included the commission itself, had much comment on the actual investigation, but if it bears any fruit you'll be sure to read about it here.
Sure, you love Rock Band, but shelling out the $170 for the requisite game and peripherals isn't even an option if you're a Wii or DS owner. Enter Disney Interactive, who think they can bring peripheral-free rhythm gaming to Nintendo systems with Ultimate Band.
No, the Fall Line Studios-developed game won't feature Mickey, Donald or other familiar characters (unlike some other Disney-fied rhythm games) but it will feature a "deep song list, dynamic venues, and customizable characters" according to the press release. The Wii version will let players use the Wii remote and Nunchuk to play drums, guitars and "front man" while the DS version will also let players "create their own original songs ... and apply creative mixing effects." The portable version will also include support for Disney's DGamer online social network. Look for both versions by the holidays.
Game | Life is reporting that the last page of the instruction manual for Professor Layton and the Curious Village, a game we're sure will hit American shores with the force of a malnourished hummingbird, reveals that the sequel (which is already available in Japan) will eventually head to the states. A password entry feature in the first game requires a code from the second game to unlock -- the American instruction manual confirms this, saying that the password "will be revealed in the sequel."
We're giddy like schoolgirls over Professor Layton, but if the first game doesn't sell in the U.S., can they really justify publishing a sequel for our unrefined store shelves? Well, other than the sequel we already have -- the Circuit City exclusive adventures of Professor Lipton, Professor Layton's long lost, yet incredibly refreshing second cousin.
We can all think back to particular moments in certain video games that have penetrated the thick, black crust which envelops our hearts and caused us to tear up. Perhaps it was that heartbreaking moment in Final Fantasy VII, or the ending to Shadow of the Colossus. Maybe it was the time your mom made you go to bed while you were in the middle of a particularly gripping Karazhan raid, or when you finally finished Steel Magnolias Adventures, a game so awesome that it hasn't actually been created yet.
Bandai Namco is making a pretty heady claim -- not only is their newest game going to make you cry, it's going to do it about 100 times. Calling the aptly titled 99 no Namida (or 99 Tears) a game isn't actually accurate. It's more of a handheld therapeutic crying assistant, providing you with a sad graphic novel to read for 15 minutes at the end of each day, with a brief questionnaire following shortly after, the results of which will help move you closer to the story which will more effectively tug at your heartstrings, and further from the respect of your bros on the wrestling squad.
PopCap co-founder John Vechey tells PocketGamer that crack-cocaine derivative Peggle will be available over-the-counter for DS sometime in the future. This follows the announcement in early January that Xbox 360 owners would be able to play the pachinko-style ball bouncer in glorious HD. Considering it's in line with PopCap's strategy, expect Peggle to eventually exist on every appropriate format possible – the article also alludes to a mobile version being in the works.
Vechey says Peggle has now outsold Bejeweled with over ten million downloads. He explains that the game's sales weren't doing well on many casual portals when it first released, but that PopCap kept promoting it on its website and the designer drug took off. We're just waiting for the day a PA (Peggle Anonymous) group pops up on our local community center's bulletin board.
Update: File this away as rumor for now. PopCap has issued a statement denying Peggle has been green lighted for DS. More here.
The techno-literary world is abuzz over Kindle, Amazon's handheld electronic reading device which is quickly gaining popularity in the small circle of people who love books, aren't afraid of computers, and have $400 in disposable income. According to a recent Nintendo investor report, European DS owners might be able to ride the e-book wave this coming winter -- the tentative release date for the tentatively titled DS Novel.
Details about the game are non-existent, though DS Fanboy speculates that it's an English language version of a Japanese title which allows the user to peruse over 100 complete books. We hope to hear more about this later in the year -- the thought of being able to sit down with our favorite editions of "Chicken Soup for the Soul" without all the fuss and muss of ink and pulp fills us with anticipation.
Circuit City was so very kind to inform the populace that the cobalt blue Nintendo DS was ready to pre-order -- too bad nobody called "no take-backsies." GoNintendo reported on the pre-order for the sexy new DS, which looks like a blue version of last year's crimson model. It would appear that Circuit City jumped the gun announcing new model, as the page has now been removed.
We've contacted Nintendo for comment, though we don't expect confirmation outside of a potential, upcoming announcement.
Update: Buy.com is offering the Cobalt Blue model for pre-order.
We'd wager that most of the gaming world has no idea what a Rondo is (aside from those who study classical music, or those who have enjoyed the tasty beverage of the same name), and that even fewer people have heard of a strategy/RPG called Ituwari no Rondo, which was released for the DS in Japan last year. No matter, Atlus will be educating us uninitiated Western heathens when a localization of the game (retitled Rondo of Swords) hits American shores (and invades our dust-caked DSs) on April 15.
We're hoping that this seemingly immersive RPG will serve as a beacon of hope in the middle of a a less than impressive 2008 release schedule for the DS, which includes highlights like Aquarium, Fantasy Aquarium, Petz Bunniez, and of course, Garfield Fun Fest. Regardless, you can bet that we'll be holding our breath between the year's Arbuckle-free titles.
[Update: Yeah, we told you about this a couple days ago, but can you really blame us? The word Rondo is just so infectious, we just can't stop saying it! Rondo. Rondo. Rondo Calrissian.]
Don't worry if you don't find the headline funny right away. Some puns take time to take root and mature, like a fine vine.
Though it often seems that the internet has the attention span of a Pixie-Stix-maddened toddler at a Pokemon zoo, it makes up for it with a long memory. Take, for instance, 
Lock's Quest is a 
