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Gordon Freeman crank calls Coast to Coast AM


A theoretical physicist named "Gordon" called up the conspiracy wonks at Coast to Coast AM to tell 'em all about a mysterious government agent – a "G-Man" if you will – that he keeps seeing around. We don't want to spoil too much so hit up the audio embedded after the break and kids, take notes. This is how you do a crank call. Now if only "Alyx" would call Dr. Cooper Lawrence's show and ask what's up with that strong but silent boy she knows.

[Thanks, Colin]

Continue reading Gordon Freeman crank calls Coast to Coast AM

Forget Putin: Gaming icons Photoshopped as Persons of the Year


As upset as we were by Time's flubbing of us this year – a blogger can get used to seeing a horribly disfigured reflection of his own face in the cover of one of the nation's most prestigous newsweeklies y'know – the selection of Russian president Vladimir Putin as the magazine's Person of the Year (POTY) left us a little underwhelmed.

Lucky for us, the folks at Something Awful remedied our apathy with a tall serving of Photoshop phakery, planting all sorts of video game icons on the magazine's cover. Mario and Master Chief are great and all, but our favorite is BioShock's Andrew Ryan. It was not impossible to choose a video game character as Time's Person of the Year ... it was impossible to choose anyone else.

'Invisible Harleys: A Mario Kart Parody' short film


Ever zoned out playing Mario Kart, only to find yourself driving down an interstate some time later, eager to bypass your fellow motorists with the aid of a few well placed turtle shells? Yeah, us neither, but we can totally imagine it and we imagine a similar sentiment contributed to the creation of Invisible Harleys: A Mario Kart Parody by UCSB students Michael Figge and Jess Rigel, part of a short film contest sponsored by Harley Davidson. Keep a close eye peeled for non-canonical weapons like the Giant Magnet™ and Super Hammer™ ... what, Chomps not good enough?

[Via Wii Fanboy]

Continue reading 'Invisible Harleys: A Mario Kart Parody' short film

Lara Croft mannequin mistaken for gunman, house raided

We're not sure how this emergency call went out, but we imagine it sounded something like this:

"Hello, Police. What's your emergency?"

"It's my neighbor. There's a gunman in his house!"

"Please calm down. Describe the situation to us, sir."

"Well ... it's not really a gunman, per se. It's definitely a gun
woman."

"There's an armed woman in your neighbor's house?"

"Yes. She's definitely got a gun and ... an enormous chest. Really, those things look
fake."

After receiving the call from HQ, armed police raided the home of one Mr. David Williams who had brought the most definitely fake dummy home from work to unload on eBay, where some lonely sap would bid on true love. Instead of sheepishly apologizing for the mistaken identity, police brought Mr. Williams downtown where he languished in a cell for thirteen hours. No word on what he told his cell-mates he was in for.

[Thanks, Dan G.]

Pricey Daily Show, Colbert Report now on XBLM


Xbox Live owners looking to download some Tek Jansen goodness today might be pleasantly surprised to see last night's Daily Show and Colbert Report available for download on the Xbox Live Marketplace. The Comedy Central favorites cost 160 MS points ($2) per episode and will be made regularly available "within 24 hours of each original airing" according to a notice from Microsoft.

While we're happy to see some more quality video content available for our Xboxen, we think the pricing might be off for such a short, topical show. At $2 an episode, buying both shows four days a week costs $64 per month. For that kind of money, you could probably swing a complete basic cable package, with a little left over to put towards a Tivo subscription. Considering iTunes users can get the same double dose of direct download comedy goodness for about $20 a month, we've got to wonder why Microsoft thinks their system is worth the extra money.

Today's hand-drawn video: Super Smash Bros.


It's cute, it's simple, and it's better than a slew of video games we've been playing lately. We give you Super Smash Bros., in hand-drawn animation. A sweeping cinematic score only underlines the awesomeness of this fine video.

Nintendo, if you want to save some money, get someone on this project, pronto. Release it, rake in the dough, and we'll have something to tide us over until the real game comes out. Trust us.

Make sure you watch until the very ... end?

Today's game over video: The End of the World of Warcraft


One man decides to give up the World of Warcraft, for another addiction entirely, and the result is an experiment in cinematical over-the-topness. Sweeping soundtracks, fighting, Burning Crusade Collector's Editions flying through the air ... what more could you ask for?

If you're going to give something up, it's probably best to do in a grand way, involving videotape, your friends, trailers for other games, and lots of slow-motion. One thing everyone is asking though, would you go mental living in that house?

Today's most patriotic dancing video: Stephen Colbert meets DDR


Or: Colbert + DDR + video - the pulse pounding techno = hilarity

You have a problem. You've got some downtime, need a quick break from the routine, but aren't sure where to turn. Do you browse your RSS feeds for a distraction? Head to the water cooler and try to join in on the insane banter about what reality show contestant was the biz-omb last night?

Well, we've got the answer. Just keep yourself parked here and check out Stephen Colbert in a DDR-style dance game, with slightly less than Tron quality graphics. It's amusing, brief, and worth a watch. Then you can return to your previously put-on-pause lifestyle.

Halo meets Monty Python


There's something to be said for minimalist British humor. When you combine Monty Python with Halo, you actually get something pretty darned funny. Now if someone would just take Benny Hill and combine it with a video game, we'd really be onto something.

Just for future aspiring You-Tubing gamers, here's a list of some things we'd love to see:
  • Fawlty Towers meets Resistance: Fall of Man
  • Are You Being Served? plus Dead Rising
  • The Office (the original UK version) mashed up with Rayman: Raving Rabbids
Go on, surprise us (and yes, we know it's ancient, but great humor is timeless!)

Today's most therapeutic video: Simpsons 'GTA Parody'


Maybe if Doctor Melfi tried this with Tony Soprano, he could've worked out his anger issues without that near-death experience. Nothing soothes the angry nerves of the savage beast like a few rounds of a GTA-like game. Of course, you need to be careful you don't carry it over into the real world. Whenever we play GTA for hours (days) and then finally get in a car, it is so tempting not just fly off a ramp and bypass traffic.

No idea what system they're gaming on either ... just check out all the buttons on Bart's controller. It's like the red-headed stepchild of the Dreamcast that never came to fruition and only exists as some ideas doodled on a napkin at a Japanese karaoke bar somewhere.

Living on lava: that's hot

Lava Landslide - that's hotAs much as we do really hate to quote Paris Hilton, that is pretty hot. Chris Jensen at GameAlmighty has an entertaining and interesting story up about how so many games feature a lava level, have villain's lairs built around lava, or just feel the need to put molten rock in there somewhere. To quote from the article, "...have you ever stopped to consider what it must have been like to build a castle or dungeon near or on a river of lava? It breaks every rule in the OSHA handbook, I'm sure."

He breaks down the difficulties on building things around lava, let alone living near it. It takes a very hardy soul, and we admit that we would probably start thinking about moving if we had a lava flow nearby. Of course if we did, we could also just call in Tommy Lee Jones and Anne Heche to save the day. If any knows how to corral lava and work with it, it's those two.

Today's most inspiring game video: the 1000 Mii March


More Miis than you can shake a stick at in this virtual onslaught of avatars. Would it be annoying or funny if we actually made sounds like that in real life if we walked ... nay, paraded around town? We can only imagine that it would get extremely boring after awhile. Plop, plop, plop.

No one knows what these Miis are marching for, but let us all hope that it's for a good cause. If these Miis turn evil, there will be no stopping them. Miis rampaging in the streets, wrist straps torn off left and right and being used to garrote people, mass hysteria.

And Joystiq, for one, welcome our new Mii overlords. We'd like to remind them as a trusted gaming website, we can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their plastic, shiny utopias.

Today's Valentiniest video: Raving Rabbids Valentine's Day Date


In honor of Valentine's Day, we bring you love -- Rayman: Raving Rabbids style. The end of this video features something that most of you wouldn't mind doing to the rabbids yourselves. Over and over again. All over Paris, and wherever you might happen to encounter one ... or dozens.

After you get your mind out of the gutter, check out the video and chime in and let us know what you wouldn't mind doing to these screaming piles of fur. At least this one shows up with flowers and chocolate.

Joyswag Photochop: Lost Planet, found entries - Day Two


Proving that Joystiq readers are the best readers out there, we're continuing to get tons of great entries for our Lost Planet Photochop contest. We had over 100 come in since we announced yesterday's winners, and we've selected two for today. We went a bit artsy for these, both of which feature unique takes on Capcom's game cover.

The Lost Relativity entry comes from Au (that dude is golden ... get it? Please, someone slap us) and has the added bonus of making us lose all sense of balance and equilibrium if we stare at it long enough. Shouldn't any real game have that ability? Nice work, Goldfinger.

Check out the second winner after the jump, and find out all about the contest if you don't know already. If you've entered and haven't won yet, keep it up. We're really impressed by what everyone has been submitting, and picking two winners each night ain't easy.

Continue reading Joyswag Photochop: Lost Planet, found entries - Day Two

More Wii titles we'll never see

Adding more titles to the list of games we'll never see on the Wii, Valleywag has six additional titles that you probably won't be seeing on gaming shelves near you. Our favorite is the lone black and white cover that just says Amish Speedway. The mind reels with what else that game could hold. Cow milking contests? Barn raising competitions? Bring it on. As innovative as the Wii is, we need to start seeing some truly unique games for it. Wii's Waldo actually looks like a fun title, call us crazy.

Keep the wheels turning, game developers. If you code it, Wii will buy it (sorry, couldn't resist).

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