We've had many Game Boy Pockets, GBA SPs and other portable devices snatched up by certain agitated educators during our formative years, which is why the recent news of a new program to teach English to Japanese students using the Nintendo DS fills us with unbridled, elderly bitterness. Think of the things our generation of handheld companions could have taught us! Geometry from Tetris! Microbiology from Dr. Mario! Animal husbandry from Pokémon!

To be fair, the program (which was recently examined in a Reuters write-up) requires students at Japan's Joshi Gakuen all-girl junior high school to use special English-instructing software with the handhelds, which are collected at the end of each class to prevent any unsavory Pokédueling during recess. The program is just barely into its one-year trial period, though the school's vice principal is very optimistic -- if only he knew he was actually transforming his pupils into rot-brained, knife-wielding miscreants!

With Nintendo continuing to trickle out official information about Super Smash Bros. Brawl, it seems a few early copies have leaked into the hands of gamers in advance of the Jan. 31 Japanese release. As such, there has been an absolute flood of credible images, videos and information about the game leaking onto the 'net throughout the day today.

While none of the following information has been confirmed, we're relatively confident in the veracity of everything below (unlike before). We'll continue to update as further credible information becomes available.

WARNING: Read on only if you want significant portions of the game spoiled.

Already finding critical and commercial success with Persona 3 on a noticeably last-gen console, it looks like developer Atlus doesn't see any reason to jump ship for the sequel. An article at Bloomberg Japan (via Siliconera) listing upcoming Atlus titles has Persona 4 coming next fiscal year for the PlayStation 2. (Note: image above from Persona 3.)

The word doesn't come directly from Atlus, so there could be a typo or miscommunication (major news outlets are prone to mistakes every now and then). The platform, however, would not be surprising given the company's comfort with developing for the PS2 and Sony's continued success with the now value-priced system. As Siliconera notes, the timing of Persona 4's release could make it a tie-in with Persona -trinity soul-, an anime series due out next year.

The PSP Media Manager, which allows you to transfer files more easily to and from your Sony portable, is now available for free. The software is available via the Japanese website and installs with a Japanese menu, but after you get through all that hassle you'll discover the program runs in English.

The Media Manager is available for Windows computers only (sorry, Apple users). Now that it's free, is it too much to ask from Sony to have the software bundled with all future PSPs?

[Via PSP Fanboy]

Japanese-style role-playing games are hardly a rare commodity, offering players all the big hair and surfboard-sized swords they can handle. Japanese-style real time tactical RPGs on the other hand, not so much, though this is exactly how little known Montreal dev Studio Archcraft describes its long-in development Project Exile, which was this week picked up by publisher Graffiti Entertainment for release next year.

The JRTTRPG was originally announced several years ago as Black Sigil, and in 2004 was planned for release on the then-hopping GBA, though the project was eventually moved to Nintendo's touchable DS handheld, which we assume is its current platform of choice, but really who can be certain? A press release announcing the game's continued existence simply states that it's expected to ship for "a major video game system" in the first quarter of 2008. Honestly Archcraft, why all the mystery? Still, the game's early screenshots give off a warm Alundra feel, which is cause enough to keep this one on the ol' radar.

[Via press release]

Dean Takahasi of The San Jose Mercury News (and recent panelist on the Joystiq Podcast Roundtable) has apparently found the world's oldest person playing Halo 3, and it looks like that honor falls to a 95-year-old Japanese grandmother.

Sure, her gaming skillz look a bit weak, but we've seen younger players do just as poorly the first few times they played. We wonder if she's gaming online at all, because she dishes out some smack talk to the TV at one point ... at least, we assume it's smack. Plus she might want to sit a bit further back or else she'll need glasses. Oh, wait.

If you've got an older Halo 3 gamer in your life, let us know about it. Better yet, drop some suggestions in the comments for what this player's gamertag should be.

Want proof that the new Sega brain training game really works? Here's the title: 京都大学 阿辻哲次教授監修財団法人日本漢字能力検定協会協力漢字トレーナー ポータブル. According to insert credit, that roughly translates to Kyouto University's Professor Atsuji Tetsuji Foundation's Japanese Kanji Ability Official Certification (In Collaboration With) The Kanji Association Trainer Portable.

See what we mean? Just by reading the game's title, your reading comprehension has increased exponentially! What's that? Your head is hurting? No, little friend. That's how you can tell it's working.

Ever since we heard about it, we've been waiting to see Face Training in action. The DS muscle control game program just launched in Japan, and three commercials show it off. We're amazed.

A camera connects to the GBA slot, and the DS perches on a stand, pointing the lens at the player user. Face Training then seems to monitor and rate your ability to smile. Aside from physical therapy, we're not sure where the market is for this game application. Maybe Japan has more of a need to practice eyebrow movements than we ever realized.

See the trailers after the break. (Or for an even longer look, visit the game's Japanese site.)

That was ... fast! Just a few weeks ago homebrew demos were released of Cave Story ports for both the DS and PSP. Looks like ufo_z is nearly finished with the PSP version and has unleashed release candidate one, playable from beginning to end with a few minor bugs due to the stretched screen size. It's not the final version, and at the speed things are going it might be a good idea to wait a few days for the bugs to be squashed. But it's free, the game's creator has given it a thumbs up, and if you have PSP capable of playing homebrew games, the thought of a portable Cave Story will probably make you too giddy to wait.

Released in Japan in April, Furu Furu Park is a Wii-exclusive title that features over two dozen mini-games based on classic Taito franchises such as Araknoid and Bubble Bobble. Majesco recently announced the game will be localized for North American audiences, pulling out those squiggly Japanese lines and replacing them with the glorious Roman alphabet.

In addition to its battery of "quirky stylized" arcade games, Furu Furu Park includes three multiplayer modes (including one where you compete to win "female affection") and a number of original games that, naturally, take advantage of the Wii remote's motion sensing, such as "Safe Cracker" and "Super Karate".

The market for non-games on the DS is getting a bit too weird. We have gardening and yoga titles coming from Square-Enix, an interactive haiku-based novel, and numerous dictionaries and language-learning programs already on store shelves. What next, a kleptomania sim starring cute smiling animals?

The latest quirky non-game in Japan is Quiz & Touch Kensaku Mushi Sukan (Quiz & Touch Insect Encyclopedia). This edutainment title aims to teach players about the six-legged creepy crawlies. Test your knowledge of both the appearance and sounds of many bug species through a series of quizzes and minigames. Kind of makes bird watching seem exciting, doesn't it?

[Via DS Fanboy]

Created to celebrate classic MSX games such as Maze of Galious, La-Mulana is one of the most difficult platforming adventure games in the freeware world. Think Cave Story meets Metroidvania with an Indiana Jones theme and the difficulty level ramped up three or four notches. It's a long adventure filled with mysterious puzzles, dangerous temples, and tense exploration. It's frustrating at times, but boy is it fun.

Until now, clueless adventurers have had only a translated item/location guide to go by. Now, thanks to DeceasedCrab and a little YouTube magic, a complete video walkthrough of La-Mulana has been released. There are more than 50 videos containing over seven hours of hand-holding spoilers and cheesy narration. Each video walks you through a specific part of the game, so do yourself a favor and only start watching when you're stuck.

Download the game and English translation patch courtesy of Aeon Genesis.

[Via Independent Gaming]

Every week on In the Flash we sit down with the creator of a free online game to unravel their secret plans of world domination ... and to talk about their game:

Point and click, room escape, and adventure games are a dime a dozen in the Flash gaming realm. But every once in a while a game comes along that's more than just an entry in the list of clones. Makibishi Comic blends Japanese-style manga artwork and storytelling with richly varied gameplay. Your goal is to find five ninjas hidden in five different environments. By clicking characters or objects on the screen, you set events in motion that will lead to their capture.

In true manga-style, events rarely connect to each other in a logical way. How do you get rid of a gigantic gorilla? By calling a massive bear that shoots an energy blast out of its mouth, of course. It's that sense of wacky fun that makes Makibishi Comic so enjoyable. The stages you'll search through are also very creative, such as in Warashiamata where an endless stream of characters come marching out of a gigantic naked man's butt ...

We crossed the language barrier for a short-and-sweet interview with Shinnosuke Kumazawa, one of the creators of Makibishi Comic.

By now we've all played, re-played, and generally gushed over Pixel's freeware platformer Cave Story. The game is so good, we've even fallen in love with the soundtrack. But did you know one of those tunes is a remixed polka song? Yes, polka. And we're not talking Weird Al-style Polkamon, either.

The music that accompanies the Finnish dance Letkajenkka (often referred to as Jenkka) bears a striking resemblance to Jenka's theme (track number 16) from Cave Story. And by "striking resemblance" we mean it's the exact same song morphed into a chiptune-style piece. Kinda makes us wonder if, deep down, some twisted part of our being actually enjoys polka.

[Via Independent Gaming]

English-speaking fans of the Phoenix Wright series got a bit of bad news when they heard the Japanese version of the upcoming fourth installment would not feature native English-language support, as previous releases have. Capcom added insult to injury with a tantalizing web demo of the game that is similarly Japanese-only. Oh, how those foreigners love to taunt us and our lack of multilingual skills!

Fear not, though -- a band of intrepid Wright fans over at court-records.net have taken the case, translating the demo bit by bit and posting the results for the English-speaking world to play. The translation only goes a few minutes deep so far, but you can follow along with the progress on the project blog. This is probably as close as most of us will get to enjoying more Wright until the likely localization is released months from now, so enjoy it while it lasts.

[Via DSFanboy]