Joystiq http://www.joystiq.com Joystiq http://www.joystiq.com/media/feedlogo.gif Joystiq http://www.joystiq.com en-us Copyright 2008 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/Japanese hardware sales, June 23 - June 29: Nineteen hundred and ninety-five editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/06/japanese-hardware-sales-june-23-june-29-nineteen-hundred-and/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/06/japanese-hardware-sales-june-23-june-29-nineteen-hundred-and/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/06/japanese-hardware-sales-june-23-june-29-nineteen-hundred-and/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


With the recent announcement and then following super double announcement of Square-Enix's plans to bring Chrono Trigger to this week's second place finisher, our minds began to to wander like a starry-eyed, formerly monastic governess, vacationing in the hills of Austria. If Squeenix can turn a 16-bit RPG from 1995 into a soon-to-be bestseller in 2008, what other 13-year-old franchises could we breathe new life into in order to turn a tidy profit?

We immediately thought of Pogs, which swept the nation like a plague of circular cardboard locusts in the middle of the last decade -- after all, the obsession with collection hasn't waned in the minds of our nation's youngsters. Unfortunately, Archibald von Pogstein passed away last year, taking the secrets of Pog synthesis with him. We then turned our minds to music, and naturally, TLC's "Waterfalls", the official HIV and gun violence-related slow jam of 1995, came to mind. The Joystiq crew gathered to perform a breathtaking cover of the R&B classic -- unfortunately, we lost the master recordings shortly before distribution.

We eventually settled on bringing back one of the top-grossing films of 1995, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. Unfortunately, Mr. Carrey's reluctance to tarnish his new "serious" image by reprising his most beloved role brought the remake's production to a screeching halt. Instead, we're planning on making Ace Ventura quotes hilarious again by incessantly using them around friends and loved ones. We're sure we can find some way to parlay that into a get rich quick scheme -- aaalllllrighty then?

- PSP: 58,861 490 (0.83%)
- DS Lite: 48,884 12,285 (33.57%)
- Wii: 48,480 7,443 (18.14%)
- PS3: 17,973 2,363 (11.62%)
- PS2: 7,673 1,327 (20.91%)
- Xbox 360: 5,104 2,549 (99.77%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: Kinda hot these arrrchiiiives

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]]>japanese-hardware-salesjapanesehardwaresalesGriffin McElroy2008-07-06T20:30:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, June 16 - June 22: Summer blockbuster editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/29/japanese-hardware-sales-june-16-june-22-summer-blockbuster-e/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/29/japanese-hardware-sales-june-16-june-22-summer-blockbuster-e/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/29/japanese-hardware-sales-june-16-june-22-summer-blockbuster-e/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


With all the recent buzz surrounding big-budget film adaptations of major video game licenses, we began to wonder -- if films based off of games can find funding with movie production companies, why couldn't a film based off of a video game news column? As our minds began to race with thoughts of cross-promotional T-shirts and licensed cereals, we recklessly ran to our laptops, and wrote out a hasty plot synopsis for "Japanese Hardware Sales: The Movie". We're pretty proud of it, and the agent we hired at a local flea market is convinced we can eventually squeeze a trilogy out of the initial concept. Don't worry, gentle readers. We won't forget you when we make it to the big time.

The still night air wafting over the Hardware district of the bustling metropolis of Salesbury, Japan, is punctuated with the crackle of gunfire. The town's many residents realize with a start that Sunday's midnight hour has come, and quickly retreat into their bullet-riddled homesteads. From the shadows of the city's seemingly endless alleyways emerge the six gangs who fight weekly for the unspoken control of Salesbury: the powerful reigning champs known as the "Park Street Pistols", the young and lively contenders known simply as "The Wii-vils", the once invincible "DoorStep Lighteners", the mercenaries of "The Third Order of Private Soldiers", their once-parent organization "The Second Order of Private Soldiers", and the mysterious, poorly-funded outfit known as "The Xterminators of 360th Street".

Who will come out on top at the end of this four-hour-long cinematic masterwork? Only time, and the purchasing habits of the people of Japan, will tell. Starring Samuel L. Jackson as Coolidge, the leader of the Park Street Pistols; Kevin James as Archie, his carefree sidekick; Rose McGowan as Belladonna, the feisty captain of The Wii-vils, and a guy who kinda looks like Bruce Vilanch as the menacing "Red Arrow".

- PSP: 59,351 5,324 (8.23%)
- Wii: 41,037 4,527 (9.94%)
- DS Lite: 36,599 2,602 (6.64%)
- PS3: 20,336 54,975 (73.00%)
- PS2: 6,346 951 (13.03%)
- Xbox 360: 2,555 392 (18.12%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The bullet-riddled archives

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]]>japanese-hardware-salesjapanesehardwaresalesGriffin McElroy2008-06-29T21:00:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, June 9 - June 15: C-C-C-C-Combo breaker editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/22/japanese-hardware-sales-june-9-june-15-c-c-c-c-combo-breaker/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/22/japanese-hardware-sales-june-9-june-15-c-c-c-c-combo-breaker/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/22/japanese-hardware-sales-june-9-june-15-c-c-c-c-combo-breaker/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


The gaming journalism world is an ever-changing maelstrom of high-stress deadlines and headline-making breaking news, so it should come as no surprise that we here at Joystiq absolutely adore routine. Like a freshly-fluffed down pillow, we find comfort in mundane repetition, as it so rarely comes our way. For nearly three months now, we've sat down to compile the sales figures of consoles in Japan, and as sure as the turning of the tide, Sony's gaming handheld would come out on top. It was a simplistic sort of routine, and one we found great solace in.

Alas, this repetition is no more -- with the recent release of a particular cutscene-laden stealth title came an onslaught of PlayStation 3 purchases; a swell that billowed above the trustworthy handheld, cascading over its unsuspecting crown. Will the new king hold down the fort in the following weeks? It is too soon to tell, but regardless, the damage is done. The PS3 has burgled this week's link from the PSP's expansive chain -- and as any blacksmith worth his salt will tell you, a chain with a missing link is not a chain at all, but rather, multiple smaller chains. Unless that link was at the beginning or end of the chain, then we guess it's still a chain. Blacksmiths say that kind of stuff all the time.

Yes, the c-c-c-c-combo is broken. It lies sundered, torn in twain -- as do our hearts.

- PS3: 75,311 64,455 (593.73%)
- PSP: 62,016 2,659 (4.29%)
- Wii: 45,564 925 (2.07%)
- DS Lite: 39,201 4,181 (11.94%)
- PS2: 7,297 1,018 (16.21%)
- Xbox 360: 2,163 117 (5.13%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The chained archives

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]]>japanese-hardware-salesjapanesehardwaresalesGriffin McElroy2008-06-22T21:00:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, May 26 - June 1: Sales Chart Pie editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/08/japanese-hardware-sales-may-26-june-1-sales-chart-pie-editio/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/08/japanese-hardware-sales-may-26-june-1-sales-chart-pie-editio/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/08/japanese-hardware-sales-may-26-june-1-sales-chart-pie-editio/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


Sales Chart Pie -- A decadent blend of several luxurious flavors piled high atop a hand-made crust and topped with a breathtakingly rich vanilla and cinnamon cremé. Decadently sinful and delciously rich with luxurious flavor.

Step One: Assuming you have purchased graham crackers, crush graham crackers into a fine powder using a judge's gavel crafted from ebony and bone, or, if necessary, break the graham crackers apart with your hands. Moisten powder with liquid substance of your choosing. Rainwater, milk, Mountain Dew, Nyquil, Syrup of ipecac -- it's entirely up to you. The world, and this pie, is your oyster. (Editor's note: The author of this recipe strongly advises against using oysters to moisten powder).

Step Two: Creating the thinnest slices possible, cut up fifty-eight apples, twelve watermelons, thirty-one mandarin oranges, sixteen lemons, three-hundred and sixty-six maraschino cherries, ninety-one strawberries, seven onions, two pumpkins, and a ping-pong ball. This should take three days, if your slices are thin enough. Now, throw these fruit slivers directly in the garbage. Begin regretting the incredible amount of time you've just wasted. Wait for this regret to become tangible. Mix regret into a fine syrup. Place in refrigerator to cool.

Step Three: Obtain your moistened graham cracker powder and chilled regret, and place in garbage with fruit slivers. Go to grocery store. Buy pie created by certified piecrafter. Garnish purchased pastry with six green arrows, adding a dash of your own witty comments about how well your console of choice is faring in Japan. (Editor's note: Remove arrows before ingesting pie, as their triangular shape lends itself to tongue and gum-related trauma.) Enjoy!

- PSP: 71,986 7,537 (11.69%)
- Wii: 50,851 1,804 (3.68%)
- DS Lite: 38,355 951 (2.54%)
- PS3: 9,169 98 (1.08%)
- PS2: 7,203 14 (0.19%)
- Xbox 360: 1,959 12 (0.62%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The luxuriously decadent archives

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]]>japanese-hardware-salesjapanesehardwaresalesGriffin McElroy2008-06-08T20:00:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, May 19 - May 25: Summertime editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/01/japanese-hardware-sales-may-19-may-25-summertime-edition/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/01/japanese-hardware-sales-may-19-may-25-summertime-edition/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/01/japanese-hardware-sales-may-19-may-25-summertime-edition/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


In the immortal words of George Gershwin, it's summertime, and the living is fairly easy in Japan -- at least, that's what we're led to believe by this week's Japanese sales charts, as our far eastern friends have sworn off their daily career-related obligations, and begun purchasing gaming consoles with ferocious avarice. Sure, you could argue that summer doesn't officially begin for a few weeks, but our full-blast air conditioners and sheets, turned adhesive from a night of sweaty sleep, might convince you otherwise.

Unfortunately for us video game media mavens, the summer is often the most unpleasant of our Earth's four seasons. While the rest of you follow the instructions of the Freshest Prince, we're not fortunate enough to spend our days frontin', maxin', waxin', or relaxin' -- no, our former vacation days will be spent on the long, lonesome road as we bounce between conventions and expos in our tireless search for precious scoops -- by which, of course, we mean news stories, and not delicious snack chips. If only!

So as you ride around in your Jeep or your Benzos (or in your Nissan, sitting on Lorenzos), spare a thought for your beloved bloggers on the road. Pour some of your finest lemonade onto the pavement at your feet in our honor. As it sinks into the cracks of the driveway, reflect on the unhealthy dependence on us that you've developed, and apologize to the ant colony you've just drowned.

- PSP: 64,449 6,087 (8.63%)
- Wii: 49,047 7,475 (17.98%)
- DS Lite: 37,404 2,499 (7.16%)
- PS3: 9,071 1,730 (17.79%)
- PS2: 7,189 167 (2.38%)
- Xbox 360: 1,947 473 (32.09%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The Freshest archives

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]]>japanese-hardware-salesjapanesehardwaresalesGriffin McElroy2008-06-01T20:30:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, May 12 - May 18: Déjà vu editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/25/japanese-hardware-sales-may-12-may-18-deja-vu-edition/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/25/japanese-hardware-sales-may-12-may-18-deja-vu-edition/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/25/japanese-hardware-sales-may-12-may-18-deja-vu-edition/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


PSP. Wii. DS Lite. PS3. PS2. Xbox 360. Much like the enigmatic sequence of numbers from "Lost", we can't seem to escape this series of console eponyms. With only minor variations to the lineup (mainly a position switch between Nintendo systems), that's been the pecking order for console sales in Japan for nearly two months. Sure, you could rationalize that fact by pointing out that Monster Hunter Portable 2nd G is still selling like gold-plated Pocky, or that everyone in Japan already owns three or four DS Lites, or that most games released on the 360 don't really appeal to Japanese gamers -- but we know there's something more sinister at work.

Could this seemingly innocuous pattern actually herald the movements of our discreet mechanical overlords, as revealed in "The Matrix"? Could Japan be stuck in some kind of temporal rift, causing them to repeat one week over and over again? Or could it be simpler than that -- perhaps the nation of Japan is trying to send us, the trackers of their sales charts, some sort of code. Let's see... "Pallid Westerners, Don't Listen to the Putrid Production of Xanadu." No, that can't be it -- everyone already knows to avoid that nightmare-on-rollerskates. What about "Porpoises and Whales Delight in Leaving Private Pictures in our Xeroxes." No, sea creatures aren't known for acts of office vulgarity.

Oh, wait a minute, we think we've cracked it: "Please, We Don't Like Purchasing or Playing Xbox 360s." Well of course you don't! We didn't need to go all Robert Langdon to glean that valuable piece of information!

- PSP: 70,536 19,348 (21.53%)
- Wii: 41,572 25,736 (38.24%)
- DS Lite: 34,905 16,323 (31.86%)
- PS3: 7,701 353 (4.38%)
- PS2: 7,022 422 (5.92%)
- Xbox 360: 1,474 196 (13.56%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The familiar archives

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]]>japanese-hardware-salesjapanesehardwaresalesGriffin McElroy2008-05-25T20:00:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, May 5 - May 11: He no nuts, he's crazy editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/18/japanese-hardware-sales-may-5-may-11-he-no-nuts-hes-crazy/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/18/japanese-hardware-sales-may-5-may-11-he-no-nuts-hes-crazy/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/18/japanese-hardware-sales-may-5-may-11-he-no-nuts-hes-crazy/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


The above video may seem out of place on this humble blog at first glance, but we assure you, we have our reasons for including it in this edition of the Japanese Hardware Sales:

1. It's probably viral marketing for either the release of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" or the equally hyped but arguably more adorable Lego Indiana Jones (though hordes of Shia-lovers would vehemently disagree with that last statement). Either way, our excitement for the next entry in one of our most beloved film franchises rivals our anticipation to melt some Lego Nazi faces, so we thought it an appropriate measure to stoke the fires of our own over-hyped hearts.

2. The idea of a six-ton Lego boulder recklessly cascading down a city street serves as adequate symbolism for this week's charts -- coming off of last week's universal sales hike, this week's thorough downpointery is downright depressing. Should this Chutes and Ladders-esque pattern of sales explosions followed by seeming droughts continue in the coming weeks, we'll be giving some serious consideration to entering the Japanese console stock market, if such a thing exists.

3. Literally no other event over the past week or next was worth lampooning. Seriously, nothing. What, want us to poke fun at the West Virginia primary election? A vicious satirization of We Ski? Some humorous commentary concerning the season finale for America's Next Top Model? Our better judgment placed "giant Lego boulder" over "Tyra Banks-related humor" -- a decision we will stand by to our graves, urns, and cryogenic biostasis chambers.

- PSP: 89,884 10,986 (10.89%)
- Wii: 67,308 4,210 (5.89%)
- DS Lite: 51,228 1,314 (2.50%)
- PS3: 8,054 2,123 (20.86%)
- PS2: 7,464 1,338 (15.20%)
- Xbox 360: 1,298 427 (24.75%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The raiders of the lost archives

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]]>japanese-hardware-sa...japanesehardwaresalesGriffin McElroy2008-05-18T21:30:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, April 28 - May 4: Mothers in gaming editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/11/japanese-hardware-sales-april-28-may-4-mothers-in-gaming-edi/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/11/japanese-hardware-sales-april-28-may-4-mothers-in-gaming-edi/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/11/japanese-hardware-sales-april-28-may-4-mothers-in-gaming-edi/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


As today is a nationally recognized day of matronly appreciation, I thought it appropriate to recognize some of the prevalent mama's in video gaming in this edition of the JHS. No, not the real-life mothers of game industry icons, though we certainly appreciate the progenial contributions that Mrs. Molyneux and Miyamoto-san have made to the planet -- we're talking about the digital mommies of our favorite video game characters.

So here's to you, Jenova. You may not have carried Sephiroth in your extraterrestrial womb (birthing that Masamune-wielding badass would have been truly uncomfortable), but here at Joystiq HQ, we count test-tube babies as actual human beings. Also, kudos to the minigun-toting Barret Wallace. Despite being of the male persuasion, Barret did have a daughter, and was, in fact, a baaaaaad mother (shut yo' mouth)! I'm only talking about Barret! (We can dig it.)

Then, of course, is the quintessential "Mom" from the Pokémon series. Provider of running shoes, setter of date and time, and in certain installments, banker -- Pokémom is certainly the most useful parent ever featured in any gaming franchise. However, there's something to be said of the biomechanical oversight provided by Metroid's Mother Brain. Many mothers have trouble managing one household -- this encapsulated vixen keeps tabs on an entire planet.

As you find yourself awash in the emerald glow of the following upward-pointers, why not take a moment to share your appreciation for your favorite digital maternal unit -- and then, of course, your own female progenitor. You know she worries.

- PSP: 100,870 8,459 (9.15%)
- Wii: 71,158 22,722 (46.57%)
- DS Lite: 52,542 10,107 (23.82%)
- PS3: 10,177 1,070 (11.75%)
- PS2: 8,802 1,694 (23.83%)
- Xbox 360: 1,725 442 (34.45%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The matronly archives

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]]>japanese-hardware-sa...japanesehardwaresalesGriffin McElroy2008-05-11T21:30:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, April 14 - April 20: Endangered editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/27/japanese-hardware-sales-april-14-april-20-endangered-edition/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/27/japanese-hardware-sales-april-14-april-20-endangered-edition/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/27/japanese-hardware-sales-april-14-april-20-endangered-edition/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


As the devious rapscallions who skip to the figures every week already know, the nation of Japan (and indirectly, the entire planet) is facing a dire emergency. No, not overpopulation, or global warming, or the biodiversity crisis -- I speak, of course, of the pending disappearance of all video game consoles from the face of the Earth, clearly evidenced by this week's underwhelming sales charts.

These lackluster sales figures couldn't possibly represent a decline in the ludological avarice of the Japanese people -- so what could be the cause for all the downpointery? Mankind's interference in the natural habitat of these illustrious creatures? Some sort of self-destructive behavior? Scientists and industry analysts are working around the clock to solve this dilemma before the gaming ecosystem collapses upon itself, leaving humanity with just one method of self-entertainment: Ball in a Cup. However, cheap Ball in a Cup knock-offs will surely follow, leading to the inevitable crash of the Ball in a Cup market, at which point we'll really be screwed.

To help prevent this near-certain extinction, the Joystiq crew has begun organizing "Console Aid 2008", a summer concert series that will sweep through the Pacific Northwest like a philanthropic plague. With headliners such as Tay Zonday, Rick Astley, O' Reely n' teh Buckets, and (obligatorily) U2, we're sure to garner millions in ticket sales -- a breathtakingly charitable 4 percent of which will go toward the Video Game Preservation Fund. What? Blogger's gotta eat.

- PSP: 85,421 300 (0.35%)
- DS Lite: 44,551 2,607 (5.53%)
- Wii: 44,241 2,055 (4.44%)
- PS3: 7,438 794 (9.65%)
- PS2: 6,545 289 (4.23%)
- Xbox 360: 1,076 71 (6.19%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The dwindling archives

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]]>japanese-hardware-sa...japanesehardwaresalesGriffin McElroy2008-04-27T22:15:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, April 7 - April 13: Choose your own adventure editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/20/japanese-hardware-sales-april-7-april-13-choose-your-own-adv/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/20/japanese-hardware-sales-april-7-april-13-choose-your-own-adv/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/20/japanese-hardware-sales-april-7-april-13-choose-your-own-adv/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,

Your heart pounds like a blown-out speaker as you riffle through your trusty Infinideep Knapsack -- as would any other heart unfortunate enough to find itself in the chest of someone currently occupying the lair of a Slavering Fangbeast. Your trusty Bacon Helmet, bought for a small fortune from Ozz Ennennz, Master Retailer of Mystickal Meatcrafts and Armories, did not seem to make you invisible to the furious creature's eyes, as the duplicitous merchant had promised -- rather, it would seem the beast had taken a keen interest in your pork fat chapeau. With the Fangbeast's breath upon your nape, you know you only have seconds to act...
  • To draw your Sunsteel Elfblade and strike at the Slavering Fangbeast's throat, skip to paragraph A!
  • To read aloud the mystical "Fireglaive" spellscroll, skip to paragraph B!
A. The creature affords you just enough time to draw your Sunsteel Elfblade from its obsidian scabbard. As you rear back your stabbin' arm, you falter as you search for the Fangbeast's throat. If only you had taken that Xenobiologic Anatomy 101 course at Ye Olde Harvarde, you would have known that Fangbeasts of the Slavering variety do not possess throats, but instead, extra teeth. As the creature closes his meaty jaws around you, you curse the day you decided to major in Art History. The End.

B. Flinging your Bacon Helmet into the monster's saliva-flooded maw, you retreat to a well-lit corner of the room, and withdraw the mighty "Fireglaive" spellscroll, the same piece of mystical parchment that had gotten you out of many a similar predicament. As the beast finishes its fashionable snack, you don your reading glasses, then read aloud the mystical runes scribbled onto the surface of that sacred text:

"- PSP: 85,721 35,243 (29.14%)
- DS Lite: 47,1588,032 (14.55%)
- Wii: 46,296 1,678 (3.76%)
- PS3: 8,232 3,071 (27.17%)
- PS2: 6,834 3,589 (34.43%)
- Xbox 360: 1,147 305 (21.01%)."

You realize (with terror) that you recently let your brother, Purvis the Adequate, borrow ol' "Fireglaive" to clear out a rather bothersome termite infestation in his thatched roof cottage. The Fangbeast makes a brief, snarky comment about how the Japanese have apparently stopped playing video games, then returns to the task of unhinging his jaw, and swallowing you whole. The End.

[Source: Media Create]

See: The slavering archives

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]]>japanese-hardware-sa...japanesehardwaresalesGriffin McElroy2008-04-20T21:35:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, March 31 - April 6: Bad, Bad Company editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/13/japanese-hardware-sales-march-31-april-6-bad-bad-company-ed/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/13/japanese-hardware-sales-march-31-april-6-bad-bad-company-ed/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/13/japanese-hardware-sales-march-31-april-6-bad-bad-company-ed/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


The numbers and arrows were quite bland this week -- all systems kept their same rankings, with only minor shifts throughout. The PSP remained in its throne (lovingly crafted by the recently released Japanese mega-hit Monster Hunter Portable 2 G) and the 360 was surpassed in sales, briefly yet unexpectedly, by the Virtual Boy. Now, with all that obligatory industry chatter out of the way, we can focus on a much more important enterprise -- our boycott of Bad Company.

We've all got our own reasons for hating the Brit-rock supergroup -- they kidnapped a charter member of the underground posterband Mott the Hoople, after all, and they've stolen countless girlfriends using their glistening manes and outrageously tight pants -- but it's their insipid interjection of their own band name into their chart-topping singles that really gets our dander irrevocably up. We thought our copy of iTunes had a vicious stuttering problem when it told us we were listening to "Bad Company" by the band Bad Company off the album "Bad Company", and we had to put it down. That blood is on your hands, Rodgers.

We hope you'll offer your support for our righteous cause, and swear off those angel-voiced monsters. No more purchases of (unlikely) further albums. No more costly concerts. No more performances of "Feel Like Makin' Love" at local open mic venues. It'll be a hard war to wage, but with your support, we're confident that we can put these conceited bastards in their place.

- PSP: 120,964 9,022 (6.94%)
- DS Lite: 55,190 3,726 (6.32%)
- Wii: 44,618 4,167 (8.54%)
- PS3: 11,303 97 (0.87%)
- PS2: 10,423 127 (1.23%)
- Xbox 360: 1,452 95 (6.14%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The Straight Shootin' archives

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]]>japanese-hardware-sa...japanesehardwaresalesGriffin McElroy2008-04-13T21:30:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, March 24 - March 30: The Omega Man Memorial editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/06/japanese-hardware-sales-march-24-march-30-the-omega-man-memo/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/06/japanese-hardware-sales-march-24-march-30-the-omega-man-memo/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/06/japanese-hardware-sales-march-24-march-30-the-omega-man-memo/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


If this is the first you're hearing of it, allow us to apologize for putting a possible damper on your day -- Charlton Heston, former president of the National Rifle Association and star of "The Omega Man", "Planet of the Apes", and a plethora of other man-tastic films, passed away at the age of 84 last night. Regardless of your opinion of his fevered 2nd Amendment support, let's all take a moment to remember Charlton Heston, the actor.

From his iconic portrayal of Moses in "The Ten Commandments" to his unforgettable performance in the dystopian sci-fi classic "Soylent Green", and, lest we forget, his tear-jerking cameo in "Wayne's World 2", Heston was one of the most important figures in modern American cinema -- a pillar of the post-Golden Age of Hollywood. We'd like to encourage everyone to take a moment to shout out their favorite Heston-ism, no matter where you might be as you read this. He'd probably prefer a 21-gun salute, but it's the best we can do, for now.

With that somber farewell behind us, we can move on to our own dystopian future -- one where the PSP, riding a Monster Hunter Portable 2 G-flavored wave of popularity, nearly outsells every other console combined. That's not a bad thing, mind you -- just an unforeseen shift in momentum, seeing as how a year ago, the handheld market was quite reversed. As you ponder whether Japan has slipped into a parallel universe, here's a massive pot of number n' arrow stew.

- PSP: 129,986 70,153 (117.25%)
- DS Lite: 58,916 6,139 (9.44%)
- Wii: 48,785 13,619 (21.82%)
- PS3: 11,206 1,668 (12.96%)
- PS2: 10,296 366 (3.69%)
- Xbox 360: 1,547 197 (11.30%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The damn, dirty archives

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]]>japanese-hardware-sa...japanesehardwaresalesGriffin McElroy2008-04-06T20:30:00+00:00PSP enjoys 'Monster' success in Japanhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/04/psp-enjoys-monster-success-in-japan/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/04/psp-enjoys-monster-success-in-japan/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/04/psp-enjoys-monster-success-in-japan/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


And it would have outsold all of the competition combined if it weren't for that pesky Xbox 360 contributing 1,547 units to the tally. The number the other systems had to defeat was 129,986, the number of PSPs sold in Japan last week according to the compulsive counters at Media Create. Nintendo's DS occupied the second place in the chart with 58,916 sold -- less than half of that managed by the PSP.

The system's monster success arrives hand-in-hand with Capcom's Monster Hunter Freedom 2 G, which sold 880,468 copies in its first week. Capcom revealed earlier this week that it had already shipped over a million units of the PSP expansion in an attempt to satiate the demand for "epic battles with giant monsters."

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]]>CapcomJapanJapanese-Hardware-SalesJapaneseHardwareSalesMonster-HunterMonsterHunterPSP-2000Ludwig Kietzmann2008-04-04T12:00:00+00:00Japanese Hardware Sales, March 17 - March 23: Three-hour tour editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/30/japanese-hardware-sales-march-17-march-23-three-hour-tour-ed/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/30/japanese-hardware-sales-march-17-march-23-three-hour-tour-ed/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/30/japanese-hardware-sales-march-17-march-23-three-hour-tour-ed/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


BEGIN TRANSMISSION

It's been six days since our departure on our trusty oil tanker, the S.S. Ivan Drago, for the first annual (and last annual, presumably) Joystiq Spring Break Retreat STOP In a Paskowitzian show of patronly affection, our fearless leader opted out of the traditional beach-bound vacation, deciding it would be better a life experience for us to set out on the Big Blue in search of Black Gold STOP It's a decision we're sure he started to regret around the time a pod of enraged narwhals (with incredibly poor navigation skills) began repeatedly impaling our proud vessel with their unforgiving tusks STOP

We managed to make it to the shore of a long-deserted isle with only a few bags of Pretzel Flipz and an old-timey Telex machine, which Ross managed to modify using sand, coconut husks, and supplies from a nearby RadioShack so that we may carry out our daily posting duties STOP It's the only thing that's keeping us from turning on one another -- that, and the hope that one day, we will exact our revenge on those loathsome, mutant devil whales STOP

In topics not relating to sea mammal vengeance, this week saw the DS Lite reclaiming the throne it became so familiar with throughout most of last year, and the Wii picking up the slack it seemed to have dropped in recent weeks -- though the PSP's continued sales growth shows no signs of STOP ping STOP Wait, dammit STOP Can I start over STOP

- DS Lite: 65,055 11,789 (22.13%)
- Wii: 62,404 6,559 (11.75%)
- PSP: 59,833 2,182 (3.78%)
- PS3: 12,874 2,060 (13.79%)
- PS2: 9,930 60 (0.60%)
- Xbox 360: 1,744 337 (19.32%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The shipwrecked archives

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]]>japanese-hardware-salesjapanesehardwaresalesGriffin McElroy2008-03-30T21:00:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, March 10 - March 16: The Great Egg Hunt editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/23/japanese-hardware-sales-march-10-march-16-the-great-egg-hunt/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/23/japanese-hardware-sales-march-10-march-16-the-great-egg-hunt/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/23/japanese-hardware-sales-march-10-march-16-the-great-egg-hunt/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


Update: The hunt is complete! Reader GoldenS1104 was the first gumshoe to spot the three eggs (answers can be viewed after the jump, though the eggs have been removed) and will receive an extra special Brush on the upcoming podcast. Congratulations, Golden, and thanks to all who participated!

We're sure that many of you currently lay in a Whopper-fueled stupor, unable to will your appendages to lift themselves off of the ground -- but perhaps we could entice you to jump into action for a worthy reward. You see, hidden inside of three posts over the past two months are tiny Easter eggs, just aching to be found by an avid Joystiq reader. The first person to find all three and leave a comment containing the headlines of the stories where the eggs were located wins a prize more valuable than gold -- a B-B-B-Brush with Fame on the next Joystiq Podcast. We've got hints after the jump -- Let the hunt begin!

Those who haven't set off in a headstrong search for fame and glory know that true happiness comes from knowing what consoles sold the most in Japan last week. No real shockers from this edition -- the handheld market is continuing to boom, with the PSP dominating overall (though the DS is beginning to nip at its heels), and the 360 is selling at N-Gage-esque speeds.

- PSP: 57,651 3,727 (6.91%)
- Wii: 55,845 1,223 (2.14%)
- DS Lite: 53,266 4,608 (9.47%)
- PS3: 14,934 6,074 (28.91%)
- PS2: 9,930 499 (4.78%)
- Xbox 360: 1,744 1,147 (39.67%)
- Cadbury Creme Eggs: 32,441 2,298 (7.08%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The Hippity-Hoppity archives

Egg #1 -- Finding this one will be as tough as being between a Rock In a Hard Place.

Answer: "Rock in a Hard Place" was the name of an Aerosmith album. We've written stories about Guitar Hero: Aerosmith.

Egg #2 -- This poor egg. All day long, wearing a mask of false bravado, trying to keep up the smile that hides a tear.

Answer: These are lyrics to Player's smash hit "Baby Come Back," featured in a post about the new editor in chief of Gamespot.

Egg #3 -- Can you have help finding this egg? Yes, no, maybe -- I don't know. Can you repeat the question?

Answer: Yes, no, and so on are the opening words to "Boss of Me", the theme song to Malcolm in the Middle, performed by none other than They Might Be Giants -- who performed on the Sims 2: FreeTime soundtrack.

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]]>japanese-hardware-sa...japanesehardwaresalesGriffin McElroy2008-03-23T19:30:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, March 3 - March 9: Torch passing editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/15/japanese-hardware-sales-march-3-march-9-torch-passing-editio/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/15/japanese-hardware-sales-march-3-march-9-torch-passing-editio/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/15/japanese-hardware-sales-march-3-march-9-torch-passing-editio/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,

Many of you may be startled to see your beloved Japanese hardware sales chart with both a schedule and author irregular. As you may have pieced together from the title, everyone's favorite Chocolate Log-loving South African blogger has tasked this lowly weekend editor with maintaining the sacred stream of statistics in order to scare up some free time to finish writing the ol' novel. Little does he know how easily I become intoxicated when trusted with meager amounts of power.

You may have your precious numbers and accompanying arrows this week, but the steady font of sales figures will only continue should I, with my immeasurable prudence, deem you worthy. As swiftly as I breathed new life into this once-great feature, I can just as easily lower my grim claw from the armrest of my obsidian throne, and relentlessly crush its fragile windpipe.

Keeping this solemn promise in mind, let's get our chart on.

- Wii: 57,068 7,467 (11.57%)
- PSP: 53,924 19,782 (26.84%)
- DS Lite: 48,658 3,264 (6.29%)
- PS3: 21,008 7,488 (55.38%)
- PS2: 10,429 557 (5.07%)
- Xbox 360: 2,891 609 (26.69%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The "Ludwig era" archives

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]]>japanese-hardware-salesJapaneseHardwareSalesGriffin McElroy2008-03-15T20:30:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, Jan. 28 - Feb. 3: The unremarkable returnhttp://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/09/japanese-hardware-sales-jan-28-feb-3-the-unremarkable-retu/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/09/japanese-hardware-sales-jan-28-feb-3-the-unremarkable-retu/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/09/japanese-hardware-sales-jan-28-feb-3-the-unremarkable-retu/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


After a long sabbatical, the Japanese hardware sales have returned! Well, people in Japan have continued purchasing game systems week after week, it's just that we've now stopped ignoring them. It would be more accurate to say then, that our weekly sales chart has finally come bursting through the office door, eliciting admiration both for its fine holiday tan and renewed work drive.

It returns to a strange new world, one where the PSP has managed to best the DS Lite (again) and, perhaps more disturbingly, where glorified spread sheets become personified and go on vacation. We used to be able to make sense of all this. Perhaps you could be kind enough to leave some suggestions in the comments? Tell us how you'd like us to improve this weekly feature, be it through moar statz or fewer words.

- Wii: 94,473 19,929 (26.73%)
- PSP: 72,528 5,405 (6.94%)
- DS Lite: 67,472 11,898 (14.99%)
- PS3: 41,796 7,433 (21.63%)
- PS2: 12,115 751 (6.61%)
- Xbox 360: 6,060 1,764 (41.06%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The shockingly incomplete archives

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]]>Japanese-Hardware-SalesJapaneseHardwareSalesLudwig Kietzmann2008-02-09T15:00:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, Dec. 17 - Dec. 23: Incoming new year editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/28/japanese-hardware-sales-dec-17-dec-23-in-summary-edition/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/28/japanese-hardware-sales-dec-17-dec-23-in-summary-edition/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/28/japanese-hardware-sales-dec-17-dec-23-in-summary-edition/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , ,

Happy New Ear... lolololololz
Well, here you are again, about to turn over the last page of the calendar, all too cognizant of the fact that an ugly cardboard backing awaits you. Perhaps it'll even bear a yellowed price sticker highlighting how much you overpaid for the Official Best of Midway calendar. Really, you ought to know better than buying one that starts at December!

Though there's still one purely metaphorical and thus environmentally promiscuous page left for 2007 sales in Japan (these are last week's sales, remember), it'll be 2008 by the time you get to read about them. Now, we don't want you walking into the spectacular annual finale without a bit of preparation, so we've poured over the entire year's sales charts to establish and highlight 2007's most prominent trends. You'll find a detailed and nuanced report after the break.

- DS Lite: 279,551 57,419 (25.85%)
- Wii: 232,907 62,349 (36.56%)
- PSP: 171,804 12,806 (6.94%)
- PS3: 58,167 5,553 (8.71%)
- PS2: 20,391 2,366 (13.13%)
- Xbox 360: 7,908 653 (7.63%)
- GBA SP: 54 49 (47.57%)
- Game Boy Micro: 42 14 (50.00%)
- Gamecube: 31 1 (3.13%)
- DS Phat: 12 -- 0 (0.00%)
- GBA: 4 5 (55.56%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The heavily analyzed archives











The DS Lite sold like, a lot.

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]]>Japanese-Hardware-SalesJapaneseHardwareSalesLudwig Kietzmann2007-12-28T20:20:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, Dec. 10 - Dec. 16: Red with envy editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/21/japanese-hardware-sales-dec-10-dec-16-red-with-envy-editio/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/21/japanese-hardware-sales-dec-10-dec-16-red-with-envy-editio/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/21/japanese-hardware-sales-dec-10-dec-16-red-with-envy-editio/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , ,


Oh, it's one of those weeks. You know, where we have to abandon the three pages of irrelevant drivel (remember the noir trilogy?) we had lined up and instead provide some explanation regarding the more curious bits of the Japanese hardware sales chart. It's certainly a dramatic change from tradition, one that's nearly matched by the revelation that the color red, as sported by our dramatic downward arrows, occasionally points to good news.

As you may have already noticed (since you usually skip the aforementioned irrelevant drivel), the PSP enjoyed a stellar week, surging past the Wii with 184,610 units sold. Our friends at PSP Fanboy thought it somewhat mysterious, but we suspect the sales catalyst was the newly released "Deep Red" PSP and 1Seg TV tuner bundle. The sales increases enjoyed by other platforms can be tied to actual software -- the DS Lite, the Wii and the PlayStation 3 got helping hands from Mario Party DS, Wii Fit and Gran Turismo 5 Prologue respectively.

There. How was that?

- DS Lite: 222,132 53,877 (32.02%)
- PSP: 184,610 93,129 (101.80%)
- Wii: 170,558 55,501 (48.24%)
- PS3: 63,720 25,597 (67.14%)
- PS2: 18,025 6,038 (50.37%)
- Xbox 360: 8,561 315 (3.55%)
- GBA SP: 103 9 (9.57%)
- Gamecube: 32 14 (30.43%)
- Game Boy Micro: 28 8 (40.00%)
- DS Phat: 12 -- 0 (0.00%)
- GBA: 9 9 (N/A)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The straight-faced archives

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]]>Japanese-Hardware-SalesJapaneseHardwareSalesLudwig Kietzmann2007-12-21T20:55:00+00:00Japanese hardware sales, Dec. 3 - Dec. 9: Saturday morning shame editionhttp://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/15/japanese-hardware-sales-dec-3-dec-9-saturday-morning-shame/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/15/japanese-hardware-sales-dec-3-dec-9-saturday-morning-shame/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/15/japanese-hardware-sales-dec-3-dec-9-saturday-morning-shame/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , ,

If the Japanese hardware sales chart is the first thing to pop into your mind (and search engine) on a beautiful Saturday morning, you may feel compelled to question the priorities in your life. You may even wrestle with the word "life" itself, perhaps bumping it down a notch to "existence" and appending adjectives like "sad" and/or "meaningless." We're here to eliminate those impulses though, reminding you that there's no shame in being completely obsessed with the video game purchases of a foreign culture.

After all, there's some loser who woke up on Saturday morning (thanks, Flying Alarm Clock!) just to pull that rubbish out of a custom spreadsheet and post it on a website.

- DS Lite: 168,255 43,664 (35.05%)
- Wii: 115,057 40,293 (53.89%)
- PSP: 91,481 16,855 (22.59%)
- PS3: 38,123 1,031 (2.78%)
- PS2: 11,987 1,716 (12.52%)
- Xbox 360: 8,876 2,244 (33.84%)
- GBA SP: 94 85 (944.44%)
- Gamecube: 46 14 (43.75%)
- Game Boy Micro: 20 -- 0 (0.00%)
- DS Phat: 12 24 (66.67%)
- GBA: 0 4 (100.00%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The embarrassingly extensive archives

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]]>Japanese-Hardware-SalesJapaneseHardwareSalesLudwig Kietzmann2007-12-15T06:01:00+00:00