We were starting to think that the new camo patterns available for download via Metal Gear Solid 4's "Extras" screen were going to be fairly mundane. Silly us! This is Hideo Kojima we're talking about here, and behind his stoic stare the guy has quite the sense of humor.

Case in point: the two new OctoCamo patterns available today. Called "Laughing Camo" and "Raging Camo," they cover Snake in text when equipped (which doesn't exactly sound like the best thing for, you know, stealth gameplay). These patterns aren't about hiding from enemies, though ... their effects are actually seen when you get near them. They cause PMC soldiers and other foes to break out into laughter and howling on sight, rendering them temporaily stunned. (Making the new camo settings something you'll want to use only on your second, third, fourth, or fith play-through, lest you ruin a "pure" first-time experience.)

Taking on The Patriots and getting kooky with Kojima? That's what we call a fun way to spend the Fourth.

The PSN update this week is nothing special, but we're still too busy sifting through the MGS4 Database added in last week's update to really care. Beyond the surprising amount of depth the database gets into, it's interesting to see some flat-out confirmations of some arguable points in the MGS canon -- like the whole Raikov being gay thing. The other additions this week include the normal rhythm game additions and Medievel Resurrection for PSP. The full PSN update can be found after the break.

The MGS4 Database is the big deal this week on the European PSN update, get the full details on the update over at PS3 Fanboy.

We think it goes without saying that the above video is spoilerific, but just to be clear, we're putting that word in bold so your eyes quickly dart to it. Clocking in at just over 152 minutes, here's a video demonstration of how you earn the Big Boss emblem in Metal Gear Solid 4, which involves beating the game on the highest difficulty with no deaths, no alerts, no kills, no recovery items, no stealth suit and no special items ... all in under 5 hours. Prepare your mind to be utterly blown.

Solid Snake's swan song seems destined to be heard by many a PlayStation 3 owner, with Famitsu (translated by IGN) confirming that Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots has shipped three million copies to various destinations worldwide. Speaking at a recent Sony investor meeting in Tokyo, SCE president Kaz Hirai reportedly noted that Hideo Kojima's opus has had a beneficial effect on PS3 hardware sales.

Though its effects have been quite clear in Japan, the UK's Chart-Track group has previously stated that MGS4, despite being a top seller, only managed to have "minimal impact" on the PS3's selling rate. Konami has made no announcement regarding US sales yet, though we expect to see plenty of Metal Gear sold action on next month's NPD report.

Now that Solid Snake's story has come to an end, some of us are still having a hard time dealing with the loss. James has begun living on the New York City streets in his cardboard box costume and Chris just screams "SSNNNAAAKKKUUU!" at the stars every night. But some members of the Joystiq family have gotten proactive, talking out their thoughts on the series instead of bottling them up inside.

So, join Joystiq's Ludwig Kietzmann and Ross Miller, and Nintendo Wii Fanboy's David Hinkle as they discuss their final thoughts on MGS 4, their hopes for the future of the series and just generally take an hour-long trip to Nerdtown. (Oh, they're also going to Lower Spoilersburg, so if that's a locale you want to avoid, you should spend your eartime elsewhere.)

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Hosts: David Hinkle, Ludwig Kietzmann and Ross Miller

Music: "Metal Gear Saga" by Harry Gregson-Williams

Senior stealth citizen news now, with European Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots sales exceeding one million units in its first week. Konami has called the demand for the game "exceptional," noting that the final chapter in Solid Snake's spiraling saga has seen high sales in all European territories. The 25,000 Limited Edition copies made available to the continent were "almost immediately" sold out. Figures.

The PlayStation 3 sneak-em-up has seen similar success in Japan, outselling its closest competitor by a factor of 12. If you're among the million Metal Gears Sold and don't know your Gekkos from your Frogs, be sure to download the free MGS4 Database from the Euro PlayStation Network this Thursday.

We've gotten into the bad habit of using the word "convoluted" every single time we write something about Metal Gear Solid 4, so we've gone ahead and opened up the thesaurus for this one. According to MCV, the Metal Gear Solid 4 Database, an interactive encyclopedia meant to guide players through Hideo Kojima's byzantine saga, will become available on the European PSN this Thursday, June 26th. It's filled with facts, it's free and it'll check your MGS4 progress before spoiling the part where Meryl is eaten alive by robot marmosets (from the future).

So, what did you think of "byzantine?" Personally, we think that sounds too much like one of those effervescent energy pills. How about "labyrinthine?" "Daedalian?" There's also "knotty." These thesaurus things are quite convoluted, you know.

For some people, Metal Gear Online is a nice extra that comes on the same disc as Metal Gear Solid 4. For others – which we refrain from calling crazy – MGO is actually more exciting to them than Kojima's blockbuster single-player game.

For those weirdos gamers who fall into the strictly MGO camp, Konami has announced plans to make the online multiplayer game based on MGS available as its own, stand-alone product ... in Japan. The disc will set buyers back $17 and be content-identical to the client that comes on MGS4's biggie-sized 50GB Blu-ray disc. MGO is set to receieve a number of gameplay and content updates in the coming months, including new characters, items, and maps.

We've contacted Konami for any word – good or bad – on the stand-alone MGO's prospects of coming Stateside via PSN or other delivery methods. No word back yet, but we wouldn't count a PSN release out.

The above video doesn't spoil anything story-wise, but it does show some of the weapons you can unlock in Metal Gear Solid 4. If that's going to bother you, don't press play. Otherwise, feel free to check out some of the incredible guns (which may or may not belong to The Patriots). We can't figure out if any of these would benefit or hurt our ability to sneak -- we'd probably just lose interest and jump in, guns blazing.

(P.S. – Don't forget you can win a copy of MGS4 signed by Hideo Kojima.)

[Via PS3 Fanboy]

We already knew sales of Metal Gear Solid 4 were good for Japan, with Famitsu reporting earlier that 476,000 copies had been sold in the first few days of release. According to Media Create, that figure sneaks in an extra 11,000, as they're only tracking 465,000 in sales for the first week (via Gamasutra).

Despite the missing units, the launch provides some interesting statistics. MGS4 moved over 12 times as many units as its closest competitor, Mario Kart Wii (38,000), and more than double that of the non-Metal Gear top 10 combined. Sorry, Snake, there's no place to hide in Japan.

Konami will sneak in the MGS4 Database with tomorrow's PSN Store update. The free downloadable interactive program contains the "official knowledge base" of all things Metal Gear -- guess we can get rid of Ludwig now. The database will contain complete storylines, character profiles, relationship diagrams and "much more." A nice consideration in the database is that all MGS4 spoiler info is "blacked out" until the user beats the game.

It's like explaining Metal Gear has become its own cottage industry. There are the actual Metal Gear games, and then there's trying to explain the Metal Gear story.

So, here's the thing about a metareview for Metal Gear Solid 4: You probably don't give a crap. Well, let us rephrase that. It's not that you don't want to hear what people are saying about the game, it's that it's probably not going to effect your purchasing decision one way or the other. But it's rare, seeing a game that garners so many 10s while scoring as low as 8 with some outlets, so we figured it was worth taking a look at. Polarization ahoy!

• Game Informer (100/100): "For a game as ambitious and groundbreaking as Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, sticking to the formula simply isn't good enough.As the crowning achievement of the series' 20-year history, Hideo Kojima's final Metal Gear Solid title may not be what you expect, but it is everything you could hope for in a video game."

• 1UP (91/100): "The MGS4 conundrum is this: The further you play into the game, the less you actually play. Surrendering so much control to make way for movie sequences is galling, especially when the dialogue makes such a big deal about freedom and free will. And it's frustrating that this final chapter of the series begins so well, but ultimately fades -- because once the shock of the nonstop plot revelations wears off, the vanished gameplay leaves a nagging sense of disappointment. Despite this gradual decay, though, MGS4 is absolutely a great game."

• GameDaily (80/100): "Snake's epic, final act just isn't the triple A extravaganza we expected, and it's clear that if Konami intends to continue this franchise or spin off into something new, it needs to study its competition and evolve, delivering shorter cut scenes and superior shooting. But for now, this is one of the most important games in history and you'll dig its cool boss battles, at times witty dialogue and unrivaled sneaking mechanics."

Man, if peopled freaked out over their 8.8 Twilight Princess score, imagine what's going to happen when the internet catches wind of Metal Gear Solid 4's 0.0. (Note: The above did happen, but it was just a technical glitch. Please don't stick a stun knife in either us or Gamespot.) Check out the highlights for today:

Joystiquery
A week with Spore Creature Creator: Day One
BigDownload offering big prizes to see your Spore creatures
Joyswag: Win a Kojima-signed copy of MGS4
Meet the Team: Kevin Kelly
Podcast Rodeo for June 17: ... And Ear Back
The best of WoW Insider: June 10-17, 2008

News
Championship Gaming Series coming to G4
Wii Move to do "something" with the Wii Balance Board
Team Fortress 2 Pyro update coming Thursday
EA extends Take-Two offer to July 18
Crytek shows interest in PSP development
Underworld's Len Wiseman set to helm Gears of War movie
MGS4 sells 476K units first week in Japan; UK PS3 sales impact 'minimal'
Spore Creature Creator demo available now on PC and Mac
Nintendo promises 'core' gamers will be happy with E3 showing
All Tecmo employees sue Tecmo
Sega: leaked 'Crucible' video not our Silicon Knights game
Marathon 2 map pack thrown up on Wednesday
First Call of Duty: World at War trailer to roll onto XBL
Reminder: Preorder Hail to the Chimp, get $10 of Onion Store credit
Stardock launches Impulse digital distribution system
Boom Blox sales: EA content, analysts less upbeat
PS3 2.40 update includes in-game XMB, trophies
Sims Carnival is now in open beta
Force your older Mac to evolve and run Spore Creatore Creator
Screamshots: Dead Space
PS3 firmware v2.36 available now

Rumors & Speculation
Rumor: Heavenly Sword 2 cancelled; Ninja Theory 'bitter' with Sony

Culture & Community
Bodysurf: Where the Wii Balance Board meets Audiosurf
Boom, headshot! Meet the Team Fortress 2 Sniper

Update: A winner has been selected and contacted via e-mail. Congrats!

So this "Hideo Kojima" guy totally ruined our copy of Metal Gear Solid 4. He had the nerve to scribble all over it in permanent marker. It looks like he ... signed it? Yuck!

His signature has obviously tarnished our copy. It's worthless now, so we're giving it away in this latest edition of Joyswag: Garbage Edition. Go ahead, take it away from us. We don't want it! Bah!

To enter this giveaway, leave a comment expressing your earnest desire to collect our garbage. Comments must be left before 5PM EST on Monday, June 23rd. Only one comment per person per calendar day -- or else! One winner will be selected in a random drawing. Grand Prize Winner will receive a copy of Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (signed by Hideo Kojima and Yumi Kikuchi) for PS3 (MSRP: $60). Click here for complete Official Rules. Eligibility is restricted to the legal residents of the 50 United States (including DC) and Canada (excluding Quebec). You must be 18 years or older to enter.

For another chance to win an autographed copy, visit PS3 Fanboy.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Here is the Metal Gear Solid 4 tale of two regions. In Japan, Famitsu reports that MGS4 sold 476,334 copies in its first few days, becoming the best-selling PS3 game to date in the region. Snake also boosted sales of the PS3 itself, with Japanese sales hovering around the 10K mark; the console sold 77,208 for the week.

The UK tells a slightly different MGS4 sales tale. MGS4 is the second fastest-selling PS3 title behind Grand Theft Auto IV and was 14,000 short of MGS2's initial sales in 2002. Although the UK's Chart-Track apparently did not release actual numbers, the company's director did say that MGS4 had a "minimal impact" on hardware sales and that "there's not a lot to say about it."

Unless Sony or Konami sends out a release, we're not expecting US sales figures until NPD's June report releases sometime next month.

Source: Famitsu (translation) report (Via IGN)
Source: Chart-Track: MGS4 had "minimal" impact on UK PS3 sales