"We don't have the bandwidth." That's the explanation Valve co-founder Gabe Newell offered up when poked by 1UP for answers regarding the company's lack of PlayStation 3 support. Put another way: "We don't have PlayStation developers," marketing director Doug Lombardi explained. While hardly a new revelation, Valve's dilemma continues to prevent the company from creating in-house PS3 content.
In the short term, this means -- for the last time -- no Left 4 Dead on PS3, and also, no Team Fortress 2updates. But...? Uh-uh. "They're not doing ongoing development on The Orange Box for the PS3." They, of course, is EA, developer of the PS3 version of The Orange Box. To file a complaint, please contact the office of your local EA representative. Oprima el dos para continuar en español.
Reader Ian G. recently submitted an image to us that he accidentally discovered using a StumbleUpon toolbar, which appears to be an early draft of an upcoming update for Team Fortress 2's most innocuous of classes, the Spy. The origins of said image are unknown -- perhaps it's a leak from Valve's vault? A convincing photoshop from a dedicated fan? Perhaps Ian is in possession of a magical StumbleUpon toolbar, capable of stumbling into the future?
While it certainly looks convincing, we're leaning towards "convincing photoshop" -- especially considering most of the text is copied and Elmer's school glued from Valve's official Pyro update. As credible as the new weapons (such as the silenced PPK and the Garrote) and achievements (Joykill: Backstab a laughing enemy) look, we doubt the legitimacy of these supposed details about our masked, nicotine-infused friend.
Update: Given the final line of the copyright information at the bottom of the page, which reads "Hoax by Ka anin :P!", we're ready to go ahead and file this one under B, for bunko.
Interested in owning a papercraftSolid Snake, one that's guaranteed to elicit The Orange Box puns from all your nerdy friends? You can make your own here. Here are our picks for the week's best game-related webcomic. Be sure to vote for your favorite!
Yeah, it's old. But it's also Game of the Year, so we figure it's probably worth noting when the incredible, delectable Portal finally moves out of her parents' house and into an adorable studio apartment of her own. It's a good week for PCs all around actually, with the excellent Assassin's Creed arriving in a "director's cut" form.
Oh, and this week's "Game That Sounds Like it Was Named by Us As 8-Year-Olds and Then Sent Through Time Into the Future Award" goes to Mini Copter Adventure Flight. We would have traded our Chris Sabo rookie card and a half-empty packet of Lik-M-Aid for a game with a name like that in a heartbeat. There's a full list after the break.
A fresh batch of content for the PC version of Team Fortress 2 is set to arrive during the week of April 20th, according to Shacknews. The update will add a new map,"Goldrush," to Valve's multiplayer shooter, along with unlockable weapons and a strong desire to succumb to the cartoonish mayhem all over again just when you thought you shook the addiction and got your life back on track which was becoming increasingly dominated by thoughts of playing the game which in fact you are considering right now at the expense of your ability to avoid run-on sentences somebody please please help us.
Ahem.
Goldrush will be the first map to support "Payload," a new game which tasks teams with pushing a mine cart (loaded with explosives, natch) into the opposition's base. In a stunning nod to real life, the cart will go faster when it has more players pushing it through the inevitable barrage of gunfire. Just so you know, most of that will likely be aimed at the Medic, the first class expected to benefit from the addition of unlockable weapons.
As if five great games in one little box wasn't enough bang for your gaming buck, EA has just released a mysterious 128MB patch for the PS3 release of The Orange Box. That's like a whole PSN game in patches! We say "mysterious" because, well, it seems like nobody has any idea just what's included in that patch.
If you'll recall, EA took care of porting The Orange Box to the PlayStation 3 while Valve concentrated on the PC and Xbox 360 platforms; unfortunately, the PS3 release was not only delayed but it also suffered from some (perhaps exaggerated but nevertheless serious) framerate issues. While everyone is waiting for some sort of official changelog from EA, we figured we'd ask if any of you have noticed an appreciable difference following the update. Well, have you?
[Update: Official changelog from EA posted after the break, for your edification.]
Perhaps you've been burnt by digital distribution in the past, and now refuse to even touch the likes of Steam. Perhaps you found one or more of the games in Valve's critically acclaimedOrange Box to be lacking in a peel. Perhaps you'd like us to stop with theexcruciating puns you jerks and report the news already geez.
So, have at it: Valve has confirmed to Joystiq that the individually boxed Orange Box PC games are due to hit physical shelves on April 9th. The separate SKUs, which will be available worldwide, consist of first-person puzzler Portal, caricatured multiplayer romp Team Fortress 2, and a crowbar double-whammy in the form of Half-Life 2: Episode One and Two. Valve has yet to officially announce pricing details, but retailers currently list Portal at $19.99 and the other two packages at $29.99 each. Expect more details soon.
Oh, did you want to see Valve's Kim Swift and Erik Wolpaw deliver a Portal postmortem? We hope you like making your way through the digestive system of this rather large attendee snake. We'll keep you up to date -- just as soon as we figure out how to get down from this ladder.
Having already upped the ante in Portal challenges with Ren_Test2 in November, Bethesda's Daryl Brigner has returned with a new custom-made map aptly titled Ren_Test3. The download, available at TWHL, also includes Ren_Test 1 and 2 as well as Step, Time and Portal challenges for the maps. We haven't had a chance to play it yet (such is the crazy, fast-paced life of a blogger), so tell us what you think in the comments below. Let's hope Valve finds a way to pool some of the best custom maps for Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 owners, too.
Independent Games Festival award finalist, Audiosurf, is now available for pre-purchase on Valve's Steam service. Constantly trying to shake off the "rhythm", "racing" and "puzzle" genre labels we attempt to stick on it, Audiosurf generates three-dimensional tracks out of your music collection, enabling you to "surf" through your favorite tunes while collecting colored blocks.
Audiosurf will launch on February 15th at the price of $9.95 (pre-purchasing saves you 10%), and will include the soundtrack to Valve's The Orange Box. You haven't experienced "Still Alive" quite like this yet, have you?
Though we'd be GlaDOS can be to have another slice of Portal's topsy-turvy displacement gameplay, we'd almost certainly be unsatisfied with a quick 'n dirty content boost to our 2007 game of the year. Thankfully, Valve's Doug Lombardi has told Eurogamer that the developer isn't looking to simply throw a handful of new puzzles at us. "There'll be more Portal, for sure," he said. "But the details of that, to be honest, we're still working out."
Also being worked out at Valve headquarters are the continuing adventures of crowbar-wielding physicist, Gordon Freeman, who's due to appear in Half-Life 2: Episode Three. "With Episode Three we want to live up to the promise of where we are taking things to; there's a lot of work being done to make sure we deliver on that promise." If you're dying to learn more about where said things are being taken to, you're going to have wait a bit, "probably months not weeks." And don't even get us started on how long you might have to wait for the actual game.
At least you'll have some upcoming Team Fortress 2 content to keep you busy which, as per Valve's desire for all its additional content, will be free.
Though all the pretty colors and No One Lives Forever-esque art direction is enough to keep commoners like us entertained by Team Fortress 2, it's what's going on under the hood that's really important to the hardcore legion of fans. In an email to one member of that community, Valve's Robin Walker reveals a few changes incoming for the pyro and soldiers classes, part of the "large scale modification to the core of the game" Walker talked about earlier this month.
For the pyros, they're going to be receiving points for every enemy they ignite, making mass burnings not just fun, but profitable. Walker's a little more vague about soldiers, saying the team wants them to be "a little more careful firing their rockets at point blank targets." As TF2 newbs we have no idea what she means, but we imagine some of you commenters will have a few ideas.
Out of all the superb titles released in 2007, Portal most effortlessly takes the cake. The true star of The Orange Box saw a talented team from DigiPen snatched up by Valve and ultimately transformed from students into teachers. Gamers and designers alike must play Portal, not only because it's so sublimely designed from start to gripping finish, but because there's so much to learn from it.
The game is phenomenal in every sense of the word, its deviously delirious guide and antagonist, GlaDOS, already running rampant online as a fully fledged and infinitely quotable meme. It certainly speaks volumes of its witty writing when the game's other widely recognized star is nothing more than a vaguely endearing block. The intelligence isn't merely confined to the game's dialogue either -- it permeates every aspect of Portal's "Aha!" puzzles and perfectly paced progression. There is no filler here.
When the seemingly unconnected room-based challenges give way to a daring escape attempt and a climactic showdown, the game's genius is not only revealed, but heard in the form of Jonathan Coulton's "Still Alive" ending song. Inescapably catchy and completely cognizant of its audience, it marks the perfect conclusion to this year's smartest and most focused game.
Please accept our cake, Portal, but for the good of all of us, don't eat it! We don't want you getting fat like all those other games.
Continuing our mission to help everyone acquire The Orange Box regardless of financial means, we deliver the following news. If that last-minute Steam sale just isn't for you – who knows, maybe you don't game on a PC, or don't have a credit card, or don't have broadband, or don't have a roof over your head – Valve just let us know that "leading online and retail outlets around the world" will be discounting the gaming superpack this weekend. So if you've got gift cards to blow and/or you're looking for a console version, check out GameUK in the uh, UK or Best Buy in the States.
Maybe you've already got the game, but just can't get the sound of it out of your head. If so, consider the official soundtrack, on sale at Amazon in delicious un-DMRed MP3 format for the new low price of $7.99. if you're into just the hot new hit single "Still Alive," snag just that for $0.89. Oh, and speaking of "Still Alive" peep this recent interview with the mad scientist behind the song, Jonathan Coulton. Referring to his understanding of GLaDOS, Coulton says, "It helps that my own personal conflict resolution techniques rely heavily on passive-aggressive behavior."
Hey, us too! We expect Coulton to contribute some more video game tunes in the future -- at least if he wants us to keep writing about him.
Valve's Steam service is having a last-minute holiday sale from today until January 1, with everything on the online store reportedly 10% to 50% off. While all they have to do is make one game 50% and the rest 10% to make that statement valid, there are some good deals going on. Highlights include:
There are very few hours until Christmas. On this coast, most stores are closing down. Wouldn't be great if you could find the perfect gift for the ones you love? How about a downloadable copy of Psychonauts (no, we don't shut up about this game) for only $10? And while we're at it, you can afford to purchase Rag Doll Kung Fu($13.45) and Bookworm Adventures($17.95).
Hands-on with the newly-unveiled Diablo 3 Wizard class!
Bungie (finally) gives us details on Halo 3: Recon!
Hands-on with the New Xbox Experience, launching November 19!
We're live at the Tokyo Game Show 2008, yatta!
Hide your wallets! New games this month: October Edition
Listen to the Joystiq podcast (because your ears can't read)
Posts with tag orange-box
Yeah, it's old. But it's also Game of the Year, so we figure it's probably worth noting when the incredible, delectable Portal finally moves out of her parents' house and into an adorable studio apartment of her own. It's a good week for PCs all around actually, with the excellent Assassin's Creed arriving in a "director's cut" form. 
