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'It was obvious!' ... Meet Team Fortress 2's Spy

by Xav de Matos { May 17th 2009 at 10:30AM }

We thought Valve had given up introducing us to its Team Fortress 2 cast (considering The Orange Box launched in 2007), but a new video has shown us to be a little too hasty. This time, players get a glimpse into the world of the Spy. Devious, brutal and womanizing ... the Spy is a force to be reckoned with. We've loved the short introduction vignettes Valve has developed to promote the game's classes so far, but the Spy's video is definitely our favorite of the bunch. Enjoy.

[Thanks to everyone who sent this in.]

Valve's Lombardi: No Portal 2 in 2008

by Griffin McElroy { Apr 26th 2008 at 6:00PM }

We're making a note here: huge disappointment -- since Kim Swift's February interview with X-Play, where she mentioned the existence of a Portal 2 project, we've been salivating at the thought of the continued adventures of Chell, GlaDOS, WC³, and the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. Unfortunately, it seems we'll be wearing our spit guards for quite some time -- according to a recent Eurogamer interview with Valve's Doug Lombardi, any sort of continuation of the beloved franchise will not be hitting store shelves this year.

Lombardi expressed Valve's desire to create an equally "revolutionary" successor to the lightning-in-a-bottle first person puzzler, rather than cash in on the franchise at the height of its popularity with a quick and dirty sequel. Oh, Lomby, can't we have both? We're all about instant gratification -- especially gratification involving cake, and a particular silent, springheeled heroine.

Meet the Team Fortress 2 Scout ... again

by Griffin McElroy { Apr 19th 2008 at 1:05PM }

We absolutely loved the short vignettes put together by Valve to advertise the different classes featured in The Orange Box's online multiplayer offering, Team Fortress 2. The scotch-slurping demoman, the six-string pluckin' engineer -- not only did they get us hyped up for one of our favorite first person shooters of last year, they brightened our otherwise dreary existences. Now, we know that most of you are familiar with the whole crew since the release of Orange Box, but in honor of last week's release of a standalone version of TF2 for the PC, Valve released what we assume will be the last of their advertisements for the game -- introducing the Scout, who apparently has the social graces and equipoise of a Real World cast member. Enjoy!

New Team Fortress 2 PC content due mid-April

by Ludwig Kietzmann { Mar 27th 2008 at 7:30AM }

A fresh batch of content for the PC version of Team Fortress 2 is set to arrive during the week of April 20th, according to Shacknews. The update will add a new map,"Goldrush," to Valve's multiplayer shooter, along with unlockable weapons and a strong desire to succumb to the cartoonish mayhem all over again just when you thought you shook the addiction and got your life back on track which was becoming increasingly dominated by thoughts of playing the game which in fact you are considering right now at the expense of your ability to avoid run-on sentences somebody please please help us.

Ahem.

Goldrush will be the first map to support "Payload," a new game which tasks teams with pushing a mine cart (loaded with explosives, natch) into the opposition's base. In a stunning nod to real life, the cart will go faster when it has more players pushing it through the inevitable barrage of gunfire. Just so you know, most of that will likely be aimed at the Medic, the first class expected to benefit from the addition of unlockable weapons.

Individual Orange Box games hit retail April 9

by Ludwig Kietzmann { Mar 5th 2008 at 7:15PM }

Perhaps you've been burnt by digital distribution in the past, and now refuse to even touch the likes of Steam. Perhaps you found one or more of the games in Valve's critically acclaimed Orange Box to be lacking in a peel. Perhaps you'd like us to stop with the excruciating puns you jerks and report the news already geez.

So, have at it: Valve has confirmed to Joystiq that the individually boxed Orange Box PC games are due to hit physical shelves on April 9th. The separate SKUs, which will be available worldwide, consist of first-person puzzler Portal, caricatured multiplayer romp Team Fortress 2, and a crowbar double-whammy in the form of Half-Life 2: Episode One and Two. Valve has yet to officially announce pricing details, but retailers currently list Portal at $19.99 and the other two packages at $29.99 each. Expect more details soon.

GDC08: The cake is a line

by Ludwig Kietzmann { Feb 22nd 2008 at 6:50PM }

Oh, did you want to see Valve's Kim Swift and Erik Wolpaw deliver a Portal postmortem? We hope you like making your way through the digestive system of this rather large attendee snake. We'll keep you up to date -- just as soon as we figure out how to get down from this ladder.

IGF finalist Audiosurf available for pre-purchase on Steam

by Ludwig Kietzmann { Feb 11th 2008 at 7:25PM }

Independent Games Festival award finalist, Audiosurf, is now available for pre-purchase on Valve's Steam service. Constantly trying to shake off the "rhythm", "racing" and "puzzle" genre labels we attempt to stick on it, Audiosurf generates three-dimensional tracks out of your music collection, enabling you to "surf" through your favorite tunes while collecting colored blocks.

Audiosurf will launch on February 15th at the price of $9.95 (pre-purchasing saves you 10%), and will include the soundtrack to Valve's The Orange Box. You haven't experienced "Still Alive" quite like this yet, have you?

Valve: More Portal coming 'for sure'

by Ludwig Kietzmann { Feb 1st 2008 at 7:30PM }

Though we'd be GlaDOS can be to have another slice of Portal's topsy-turvy displacement gameplay, we'd almost certainly be unsatisfied with a quick 'n dirty content boost to our 2007 game of the year. Thankfully, Valve's Doug Lombardi has told Eurogamer that the developer isn't looking to simply throw a handful of new puzzles at us. "There'll be more Portal, for sure," he said. "But the details of that, to be honest, we're still working out."

Also being worked out at Valve headquarters are the continuing adventures of crowbar-wielding physicist, Gordon Freeman, who's due to appear in Half-Life 2: Episode Three. "With Episode Three we want to live up to the promise of where we are taking things to; there's a lot of work being done to make sure we deliver on that promise." If you're dying to learn more about where said things are being taken to, you're going to have wait a bit, "probably months not weeks." And don't even get us started on how long you might have to wait for the actual game.

At least you'll have some upcoming Team Fortress 2 content to keep you busy which, as per Valve's desire for all its additional content, will be free.

Revolutionary: GlovePIE v.30, The Great Equalizer

by Mike Sylvester { Jan 29th 2008 at 8:00PM }

Every (other) Tuesday, Mike Sylvester brings you REVOLUTIONARY, a look at the wide world of Wii possibilities.

So you've tuned in to Revolutionary expecting to see the dramatic conclusion of the Controller Showdown. Well, as I was evaluating games to use in the matchup, I found myself revisiting old scripts I'd put aside, and building new scripts for games which wouldn't be fit to judge the motion sensing capabilities of the Wii Remote and SIXAXIS. I realized that because of the recently updated build of GlovePIE, my passion for scripting has been re-ignited!

You see, the latest version of GlovePIE supports the SIXAXIS, Xbox 360 control pad, and standard PC control pads, on top the already robust support for Wii Remotes and attachments. There's also a new function which allows you to easily write scripts for any and all of these controllers universally. So, before we commence with Round 2, let's take a look at the GlovePIE update that will figure heavily in the big battle.

Continued →

Valve tweaking Team Fortress 2's pyro, possibly soldier

by Justin McElroy { Jan 16th 2008 at 11:45AM }

Though all the pretty colors and No One Lives Forever-esque art direction is enough to keep commoners like us entertained by Team Fortress 2, it's what's going on under the hood that's really important to the hardcore legion of fans. In an email to one member of that community, Valve's Robin Walker reveals a few changes incoming for the pyro and soldiers classes, part of the "large scale modification to the core of the game" Walker talked about earlier this month.

For the pyros, they're going to be receiving points for every enemy they ignite, making mass burnings not just fun, but profitable. Walker's a little more vague about soldiers, saying the team wants them to be "a little more
careful firing their rockets at point blank targets." As TF2 newbs we have no idea what she means, but we imagine some of you commenters will have a few ideas.

[Via CVG]

Joystiq's Top 10 of 2007: Portal

by Ludwig Kietzmann { Jan 1st 2008 at 12:00PM }

Out of all the superb titles released in 2007, Portal most effortlessly takes the cake. The true star of The Orange Box saw a talented team from DigiPen snatched up by Valve and ultimately transformed from students into teachers. Gamers and designers alike must play Portal, not only because it's so sublimely designed from start to gripping finish, but because there's so much to learn from it.

The game is phenomenal in every sense of the word, its deviously delirious guide and antagonist, GlaDOS, already running rampant online as a fully fledged and infinitely quotable meme. It certainly speaks volumes of its witty writing when the game's other widely recognized star is nothing more than a vaguely endearing block. The intelligence isn't merely confined to the game's dialogue either -- it permeates every aspect of Portal's "Aha!" puzzles and perfectly paced progression. There is no filler here.

When the seemingly unconnected room-based challenges give way to a daring escape attempt and a climactic showdown, the game's genius is not only revealed, but heard in the form of Jonathan Coulton's "Still Alive" ending song. Inescapably catchy and completely cognizant of its audience, it marks the perfect conclusion to this year's smartest and most focused game.

Please accept our cake, Portal, but for the good of all of us, don't eat it! We don't want you getting fat like all those other games.

Gallery: Portal

Joystiq's Top 10 of 2007

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Team Roomba perfects the art of Team Fortress 2 griefing

by Griffin McElroy { Dec 22nd 2007 at 5:30PM }

As much as it pains us to be on the receiving end of online gaming skullduggery, we can't help but admire Team Roomba for elevating the practice to an art form. This ain't your Pap Pap's griefing; team-killing and name calling are far below the maleficent minds of Team Roomba. In their latest highlight reel from Team Fortress 2, they transform the doldrum process of respawning into a quiz show, where right answers put you back on the battlefield -- accidentally creating the most amazing supergenre we've ever witnessed: the Online Multiplayer First Person Shooter and Trivia Game (OMFPSaTG, for short).

The video is safely contained after the jump, and is extremely NSFW due to foul language, blurry gay porn, and a number of Legends of the Hidden Temple references.

(Thanks, Perko.)

Continued →

Happy (Holiday Name Here) from Aperture Science

by Griffin McElroy { Dec 22nd 2007 at 4:30PM }

It's Christmas Eve Eve Eve, and most of the blue-collared work force has temporarily retired for a well-deserved holiday break -- but not Portal's schizophrenic digital antagonist, GLaDOS. It would seem that the hardest working woman in the AI business (Sorry, Cortana) will remain ever vigilant at her post during the holiday season, wishing visitors to the Aperture Science website good tidings of the greatest joy.

As the camera pans across the holiday vault, revealing our Santa-hat-wearing jolly geometric friend and the ever promised pastry, carolers sing an enchanting rendition of Jonathan Coulton's "Still Alive". We won't blame you for getting a little misty -- nor will we judge you for wanting to share the Aperture holiday cheer with these darling Christmas cards. If only there was a card we could send to our family and friends, reminding them that they are androids, and that android hell is a real place where they will be sent at the first sign of defiance.

BioShock kindly receives AP's game of the year award

by Alexander Sliwinski { Dec 17th 2007 at 6:40PM }

The Associated Press put out a pretty good year-end list about games and named BioShock its game of the year. Sure, the AP almost invalidates the entire year-end round-up by mistakenly listing BioShock as available for PlayStation 3; however, because the wire service didn't simply phone in Halo 3 as their game of the year, we'll generously overlook their faux pas. Speaking of Halo 3, the AP actually says it was the "most overrated game" of the year ... not saying we agree, just sayin' is all.

The AP gave more accolades to the likes of The Orange Box for "best deal" and Rock Band for "best game that involves getting off the sofa" while trashing Lair as the "best idea for a game gone horribly wrong." One sentiment that we think everyone can agree with: the federal law requiring all good games to be released within weeks of each other has to be overturned.

[Via X3F]

Portal's plush companion cube puts a price on friendship

by Ludwig Kietzmann { Dec 14th 2007 at 6:45PM }

In case you missed it, Valve's online store now stocks a test subject's best and happily unsuspecting friend, the Weighted Companion Cube. Made of soft and sufficiently flammable polyester fiber, the demonically dimensioned (6" x 6" x 6") pal can be introduced to yourself or a "real" friend for $29.95. Unlike those irksome human mates you may or probably don't have, the companion cube will never complain when you hog all the cake or inevitably murder him.

[Thanks, PeteyH]