Joystiq http://www.joystiq.com Joystiq http://www.blogsmithmedia.com/http://www.joystiq.com/media/feedlogo.gif Joystiq http://www.joystiq.com en-us Copyright 2013 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation doesn't find paradise in Burnout]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/12/zero-punctuation-doesnt-find-paradise-in-burnout/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/12/zero-punctuation-doesnt-find-paradise-in-burnout/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/12/zero-punctuation-doesnt-find-paradise-in-burnout/#commentsFiled under: , , ,


Zero Punctuation takes a spin in Burnout Paradise this week and discovers that cars have taken over Paradise City and people are nowhere to be found. The main sticking point Yahtzee has with the game is that while Burnout Paradise has an open world like Grand Theft Auto, requiring the player to look at a map during a high-speed chase is a bit awkward. He realizes the game isn't designed for him, but rather for people who don't have time to play games and are too busy having carnal relations.

This week's NSFW review of Burnout Paradise, involving a joke about female menstruation and biscuit mutilation, can be found after the break.

[Thanks, Sam]

Continue reading Zero Punctuation doesn't find paradise in Burnout

JoystiqZero Punctuation doesn't find paradise in Burnout originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 18:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>burnout-paradiseburnoutparadiseescapistkonamiparadisePS3theescapistXbox-360yahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 12 Mar 2008 18:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Trouble in Paradise: An Animal Crossing homecoming]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/08/31/trouble-in-paradise-an-animal-crossing-homecoming/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/08/31/trouble-in-paradise-an-animal-crossing-homecoming/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/08/31/trouble-in-paradise-an-animal-crossing-homecoming/#commentsFiled under: ,



It's been over a year and a half since I last visited Paradise, the colorful Animal Crossing town I once called home. I named it Paradise with dreams dancing on my glazed eyes, envisioning the whistle-stop suburb as something I'd one day build and transform into a picturesque city; grass green, girls pretty.

Despite my best intentions, Paradise never really was. Relationships, work, and other games took hold of my time, and a creeping anxiety thickened in me as remembered responsibilities built up with each day spent away. Those days turned to weeks, and eventually, that fog of worry precipitated, leaving a few minutes of light rain in its wake, taking with it my guilt and regrets.

I was at a crossroads in my life recently, and my therapist suggested that I return to Paradise before I made any big decisions. I spent my first afternoon back pulling weeds and chasing bugs out of the house, before flipping through this week's Paradise Press, our local paper, to catch up on town happenings. I was astonished to find that Paradise had been racked by scandal, tragedy, and financial woes.

As the Notorious B.I.G. once rapped in his chronicle of Brooklyn's decline, "Things done changed."

Continue reading Trouble in Paradise: An Animal Crossing homecoming

JoystiqTrouble in Paradise: An Animal Crossing homecoming originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:40:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>animalcrossingjoystiqfeaturesparadisesubprimetomnookFri, 31 Aug 2007 15:40:00 EST<![CDATA[Burnout Paradise's Teaser collides with Marketplace]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/06/06/burnout-paradises-teaser-collides-with-marketplace/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/06/06/burnout-paradises-teaser-collides-with-marketplace/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/06/06/burnout-paradises-teaser-collides-with-marketplace/#commentsFiled under: , ,


The beautiful, serene, and surprisingly crashless teaser trailer for Burnout Paradise is now available in glorious High Definition on Xbox Live Marketplace. While some of you readers complained that the lack of destruction didn't really do anything for you, the focal point was the city that will be literally at your disposal in the new gen aggressive racer. The trailer weighs in at 36.23 MB, which sounds about right for 60-ish seconds of content. Does it look like the new hawtness compared to the YouTube version we showed you before?

JoystiqBurnout Paradise's Teaser collides with Marketplace originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 06 Jun 2007 07:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>burnoutburnout 5burnout paradiseBurnout5BurnoutParadisecriterionE AEAElectronic ArtsElectronicArtsParadiseWed, 06 Jun 2007 07:15:00 EST<![CDATA[Burnout: Paradise trailer releases; require new pants]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/04/30/burnout-paradise-trailer-releases-require-new-pants/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/04/30/burnout-paradise-trailer-releases-require-new-pants/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/04/30/burnout-paradise-trailer-releases-require-new-pants/#commentsFiled under: ,


Wow. Gamertagradio just posted the teaser trailer for the next Burnout game, now titled Burnout: Paradise, accompanied by a press release touching on some information we already knew, as well as that the game is slated for a northern hemispherical "Winter 2007" release. Anyway, the trailer starts off similarly to GTA:IV, showing the ... paradisiacal Paradise City, with the calm hustle and bustle of the streets, inter-cut with the roaring engine of the burners racing along the road.

For those of you curious, the music featured is "My Curse" by Killswitch Engage, with "Burning The Lives" by Shadows Fall almost being audible behind the sound of the cars careening between traffic. So, out of care for your well being, we have the teaser available after the break, but plead that you come prepared, lest your week start off on the wrong foot.

Continue reading Burnout: Paradise trailer releases; require new pants

JoystiqBurnout: Paradise trailer releases; require new pants originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 11:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>Burn outBurnOutBurnout ParadiseBurnout: ParadiseBurnout:ParadiseBurnoutParadiseCriterionE AEAElectronic ArtsElectronicArtsParadiseMon, 30 Apr 2007 11:30:00 EST<![CDATA[DS makeup game defies mockery with sales potential]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/04/10/ds-makeup-game-defies-mockery-with-sales-potential/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/04/10/ds-makeup-game-defies-mockery-with-sales-potential/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/04/10/ds-makeup-game-defies-mockery-with-sales-potential/#commentsFiled under: ,

We were all set to make fun of Cosmetic Paradise, but then we thought about it and realized that a makeup game on the DS will probably be something of a hit in Japan. Here's our reasoning:
  1. All people in Japan have at least one DS-- including little girls.
  2. This may be marketed as a "training" game for cosmetics, and the word "training" opens the sales floodgates.
  3. Using the stylus to apply makeup is probably a lot of fun for people who like dolls and stuff.
We admit, then, that this game is a good idea, from a business perspective, at least. And it does seem to have some adventure game elements, which we support. What do you think? Are there any little DS fans in your family that would enjoy this kind of thing?

Continue reading DS makeup game defies mockery with sales potential

JoystiqDS makeup game defies mockery with sales potential originally appeared on Joystiq on Tue, 10 Apr 2007 11:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>adventureanimecosmeticcosmeticparadisecosmeticsdsds liteDsLitegirlsimportsjapanlitemake upMakeUpnintendonintendo dsNintendoDsparadiserpgtrainingTue, 10 Apr 2007 11:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Adventure in Ubisoft's Paradise]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2006/04/26/adventure-in-ubisofts-paradise/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/04/26/adventure-in-ubisofts-paradise/http://www.joystiq.com/2006/04/26/adventure-in-ubisofts-paradise/#commentsFiled under: ,

Ubisoft's ParadiseIf you've already finished Dreamfall, you won't have to wait long for your next adventure fix. Ubisoft is now shipping Paradise, a new African-based adventure title from Benoit Sokal of Syberia fame. Sokal draws from personal experience in this game, having spent part of his childhood in the Congo.

In addition to your main character's quest for self-identity, an Arabian prince has asked you to escort a black leopard back to her home. This introduces another gameplay element, as Paradise allows you to control the big cat in a real-time 3D environment while your human avatar sleeps. Ass-kicking felines are always cool, and I've put them to good use with the Vah Shir berserker in Return to Arms, and my panther familiars in Neverwinter Nights. The main character can sleep the whole game as far as I'm concerned. Just bring on the cat.

Visit IGN for a detailed preview, several screenshots, and Paradise's trailer.

See also: Metareview - Dreamfall, Keepsake's unforgettable adventure
 

JoystiqAdventure in Ubisoft's Paradise originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 26 Apr 2006 13:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>benoit sokalparadisePCubisoftWed, 26 Apr 2006 13:30:00 EST