Joystiq

Grand Theft Auto 5 promotional materials, in-game locations leak out

Mike Schramm — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 18:30:00 EST

Retailers running preorders for Grand Theft Auto 5 (which is coming out in spring 2013) were supposed to wait until November 5 to give away any promotional items. Pictures of what appears to be a little keychain image viewer have leaked, both revealing that as a pre-order bonus for the game and showing off some locations to be included in Rockstar's latest paean to the West Coast.

Looking through the viewfinder on the tiny accessory shows off not only the Zancudo River, but also the Vinewood Hills (a play on Hollywood), the Del Perro Pier (likely Santa Monica's landmark playground), the Vespucci Canals (with a view of downtown), and Grapeseed (a winery area that's likely a tip to California's Napa Valley).

Fans have also spotted a poster promoting the game (which you can see after the break below) featuring a woman wearing a Love Fist t-shirt, and a few of the keychain viewers reference an air travel company called "FlyUS", so it appears that GTA's usual parodic shenanigans are in order. We'll likely hear even more about this one in the next month or so, as Rockstar's promotional machine for the game finally starts kicking into gear.

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Grand Theft Auto 5 promotional materials, in-game locations leak out originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 01 Nov 2012 18:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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We can't tell if Molydeux is doing the work for Molyneux, or it's the other way around

Jessica Conditt — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 17:30:00 EST

Peter Molyneux's first experimental title with 22 Cans is Curiosity, a potentially million-player title that has people chip away at a cube until one person hits the final piece and uncovers the ultimate secret inside. Peter Molydeux, a digital parody of Molyneux, has created a trailer for Curiosity using a few exaggerated quotes (and some not so hyperbolic).

"It will make the God Particle seem smaller than an atom," Molydeux (correctly) states. Molyneux has described Curiosity as something that "is so valuable, and so life-changingly important."

Molydeux's trailer posits that this discovery is "about to change life as we know it" and "it will be covered in the media for all eternity," while Molyneux has previously said "It's so amazing I think it will appear on news reports."

In response to Molydeux's trailer, Molyneux has offered a few hints as to Curiosity's secret, tweeting that he thinks the parody "is truly amazing. It's not a message, it's not an advert, it's not a job. I am loath to give more clues."

Curiosity will support microtransactions, with items ranging from $0.50 to $50,000. The game will be launched on August 22 for iOS, Android and PC.

We can't tell if Molydeux is doing the work for Molyneux, or it's the other way around originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 18 Jul 2012 17:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Peter Molydeux is not Peter Molyneux, and other revelations

Ludwig Kietzmann — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 00:45:00 EST

For all its rainbow-trail-cat-in-space silliness, the internet isn't always kind to parody. Take Peter Molydeux, for example. Did you know that he is not, in fact, Peter Molyneux? Did you just read that sentence again?

The amusing (and slightly tragic) video above spells it out: The silly, creative and often insufferable ideas conjured by our favorite parody tweeter are not being made at Lionhead Studios. With the account suspended, we can only lash out at the effects of careless skimming, insulating legal disclaimers and, perhaps, concepts that were a bit too close to the real deal.

The most devastating news of all? CasCore, the bowling / survival-horror hybrid that had masterpiece -- or 9.5 -- written all over it, will never escape from its prototype phase. Where will we put the children's dreams, if not in bowling balls? (If you watch the video closely, you might just glimpse an answer.)

Peter Molydeux is not Peter Molyneux, and other revelations originally appeared on Joystiq on Sat, 26 Nov 2011 00:45:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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The Simpsons go to 'E4'

JC Fletcher — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 08:30:00 EST

The opening scene of last night's Simpsons episode brought the family to the "Expensive Electronic Entertainment Expo" (or "E4," a joke that works even better if you realize the writers forgot about the existence of E For All).

You'll have to wait eight days or so to see the episode on Hulu if you missed it -- longer still if you're outside of the US -- but GameSetWatch has done us the favor of collecting some of the on-the-nose visual gags from the scene. In addition to the three screencaps presented in the post, GSW reports that parody games including Grand Theft Scratchy: Itchy City Stories, Shaun White: Time Snowboarder, and World of Krustcraft made appearances.

Perhaps the best thing about this sequence is that it suggests a Simpsons writer was present at E3 for the sole purpose of taking notes on the spectacle.

The Simpsons go to 'E4' originally appeared on Joystiq on Tue, 15 Nov 2011 08:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Bastion narrator takes a hilarious journey through other games

Ben Gilbert — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 17:30:00 EST

What happens when Bastion's ever-present contextual narrator lands in some of gaming's most famous titles? Pure hilarity, as seen in the Dorkly-crafted video above.

Bastion narrator takes a hilarious journey through other games originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 03 Nov 2011 17:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Saints Row: The Third trailer mocks the big boys

Ludwig Kietzmann — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 05:00:00 EST

We trust you can effortlessly conjure up the identities of this trailer's targets.

Saints Row: The Third trailer mocks the big boys originally appeared on Joystiq on Tue, 18 Oct 2011 05:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Parody tweeter 'PeterMolydeux' once applied for work at Lionhead

Mike Schramm — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 20:45:00 EST

You are following @petermolydeux on Twitter, right? The always pondering parody of the eminent game developer (that imagines things like a "racing game where you only have 2 speeds," or "a creature who can only eat bullets for survival") is one of our favorite characters on the service -- and it only allows 140, remember? Kotaku AU has a lengthy interview with the anonymous Tweeter in question, and though we didn't get the question of who he actually is answered, we get a lot of other interesting information.

Apparently, the person behind the account is a real game developer, doesn't always agree with Molydeux's snobby dislike of popular titles, and has recently moved out into pitching his crazy game ideas with full videos and documents rather than just his tweets. Interviewer Katie Williams' website has a few more tidbits from the interview, including the fact that Peter Molydeux once applied to Lionhead Studios. He didn't get the job.

He also hints that there may be another parody character on the way: an indie game dev who's "just been fired from a big-name developer, and is declaring war on them by aiming to create the greatest indie game of all time, all within one year." Considering that one of Molydeux's kooky game ideas is being made into a real game, we'd love to hear what that new guy has in store for us.

Parody tweeter 'PeterMolydeux' once applied for work at Lionhead originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 13 Oct 2011 20:45:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Dragon Quest X has usage fees, requires Internet connection; does not require an NES

JC Fletcher — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 11:15:00 EST

Yesterday, Square Enix provided early indication that there would be a periodic fee for online play of Dragon Quest X. A FAQ on Square Enix's website confirms it. As translated by Google, "Yes, if you connect to online play will be required to pay the additional fee." The FAQ also noted that players will be required to connect to the Internet to play after the first few hours of the game.

In much less true news, parody site the Kyoko Shimbun (a site whose name literally translates to "fictitious newspaper") reports that Square Enix is also making a Famicom/NES version of Dragon Quest X, and even provided mock screenshots. This version, according to the fabricated story, is aimed at those who played Dragon Quest games on Famicom and have a nostalgic desire to experience the same thing again.

Dragon Quest X has usage fees, requires Internet connection; does not require an NES originally appeared on Joystiq on Tue, 06 Sep 2011 11:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Hero's Adventure will shake your RPG faith to its core in three minutes

Mike Schramm — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 08:10:00 EST

Hero's Adventure is a new mini-RPG from developer Terry Cavanaugh, maker of the popular VVVVVV and the art game Don't Look Back. The game's only about three minutes long, but it'll make you rethink everything you know about RPGs from the old-school era. Just go play it - we won't ruin it for you ahead of time.

The game was created for Klik of the Month 50, a monthly game jam using the free Klik & Play game engine. The merciless genre deconstruction, however, is all Cavanaugh's own work.

Hero's Adventure will shake your RPG faith to its core in three minutes originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 26 Aug 2011 08:10:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Bomberman movie trailer makes rollerskates awesome again

Griffin McElroy — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 15:30:00 EST

We always knew there was more to Bomberman than his round, antennaed visage could possibly show. The Game Station -- the minds behind the equally revealing Brothers Mario machinima -- have lovingly crafted a live-action take on Hudson Soft's age-old franchise. It's as delightful as it is combustible.

Bomberman movie trailer makes rollerskates awesome again originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 13 Jul 2011 15:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Mortal Kombat secret character tryouts may disturb you

Griffin McElroy — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 01:38:00 EST

The Machinima clip posted after the jump is, in many ways, deplorable. It shows some of our most beloved game characters of all time brutally fatality-ing a number of Mortal Kombat fighters, and we're finding it difficult to shake. On the other hand, we've gotta have that NBA Jam cameo. We need it.

Continue reading Mortal Kombat secret character tryouts may disturb you

Mortal Kombat secret character tryouts may disturb you originally appeared on Joystiq on Tue, 12 Apr 2011 01:38:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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The Warp Zone laments 'The Day Guitar Hero Died'

Griffin McElroy — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 20:30:00 EST

Yesterday, we viewed a sad and poignant farewell to one of Activision's downsized branches, Bizarre Creations. Today, an equally poignant -- if not slightly tongue-in-cheek -- video comes to us from The Warp Zone: "The Day Guitar Hero Died." Yes, like the song. You know. The song.

Continue reading The Warp Zone laments 'The Day Guitar Hero Died'

The Warp Zone laments 'The Day Guitar Hero Died' originally appeared on Joystiq on Sat, 19 Feb 2011 20:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Real-life Mario Kart prankster returns to the track

Mike Schramm — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 05:00:00 EST

French prankster Rémi Gaillard is back to play some more real-life Mario Kart, and he's just as fearless as ever, throwing bananas and turtle shells at cars while zipping around dressed up like the world's favorite plumber. The sound effects really sell this one -- next time you get pulled over by a cop, try Mario's "wooahhohhohhoohhh" on for size. It fits perfectly. After all, as the quote at the end of the video says, "by doing anything, you can become anybody." Why not Mario?

Plus, you get to see why Mario gets those bananas from crates as he goes by, and not straight from the grocery store. Check the whole video after the break.

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Real-life Mario Kart prankster returns to the track originally appeared on Joystiq on Sat, 12 Feb 2011 05:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Duty Calls: Bulletstorm spoofs Call of Duty with free game (and we've got the full walkthrough vid)

Christopher Grant — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 14:30:00 EST

If Bulletstorm's ad campaign teaches you one thing, it's this: Someone on development team People Can Fly came up with the term "dick-tits" and they put it in a video game. If it teaches you two things, it's the "dick-tits" thing and the fact that Bulletstorm shouldn't be compared to other popular shooters. Yes, if you're reading the contextual clues (smarty), the inclusion of "dick-tits" in the game may have told you that already, but in case you're really thick, the devs have created another expensive spoof for you.

The first time around, Bulletstorm poked fun at Halo 3's famous "Believe" diorama commercial; this time, it's Activision's Call of Duty series, which is reimagined as a free downloadable game dubbed "Duty Calls." You can download the 758MB game file directly from thedutycalls.com (or from our sister site Big Download, if that's more your speed), but we should warn you: You'll need at least 512MB of RAM, a 2+ Ghz CPU, 8GB of hard drive space, eighteen sound cards, three CD-ROM drives, and a subwoofer to play it. So we've done you a solid: Clamber past the break to watch the full four-minute walkthrough.

Continue reading Duty Calls: Bulletstorm spoofs Call of Duty with free game (and we've got the full walkthrough vid)

Duty Calls: Bulletstorm spoofs Call of Duty with free game (and we've got the full walkthrough vid) originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 02 Feb 2011 14:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Dead Space 2 trailer literalized by Tobuscus

Ben Gilbert — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 19:30:00 EST

Toby "Tobuscus" Turner's literal adaptations of trailers are both hilarious and impressive. His latest effort is no different: a Dead Space 2 TV ad combining his parodying skills with the ad's song, Smashing Pumpkins' 1995 hit, "Bullet with Butterfly Wings."

Continue reading Dead Space 2 trailer literalized by Tobuscus

Dead Space 2 trailer literalized by Tobuscus originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 26 Jan 2011 19:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Mega64 tickles Dracula's rib with Simon's Quest parody

JC Fletcher — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 00:00:00 EST

As Castlevania: Lords of Shadow approaches, Mega64 celebrates the series with a tribute to the crystal-tradingest, corpse-huntingest game in the series, Simon's Quest. The "villagers" are as incomprehensible in real life as in the game, but one "extra" still manages to steal the show.

Continue reading Mega64 tickles Dracula's rib with Simon's Quest parody

Mega64 tickles Dracula's rib with Simon's Quest parody originally appeared on Joystiq on Sat, 25 Sep 2010 00:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Ubisoft's movie parody posters look like a Bloody Good Time

JC Fletcher — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 17:00:00 EST

Filed under: Weird But True, Opinions, New In Pop Culture

Ubisoft sent out a series of three parody movie posters (and Tweeted another), featuring an overlapping group of characters. The publisher didn't explain what these posters related to, only saying "YOU MAY NOT KNOW IT.. BUT EVERYONE CAN MAKE IT BIG IN HOLLYWOOD.. WITH A GLIMPSE OF CRUELTY!" The posters all feature the same fake-name credits, though they all strangely list Robbie Coltrane as one of the stars.

Ubisoft happens to have a Hollywood- and cruelty-themed game in its lineup: the PC/XBLA game Bloody Good Time, about teenage actors competing violently for a movie role. That was supposed to have been released by the end of June, so it's long past bloody time we heard something. The timing of these posters' release suggests we'll see more (and find out if these really do relate to Bloody Good Time) this weekend at PAX. Hopefully, we'll find that the game is funnier than the posters.

Gallery: Ubisoft movie poster parodies

Ubisoft's movie parody posters look like a Bloody Good Time originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 01 Sep 2010 17:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Oregon Trail: The Movie has given us dysentery

Justin McElroy — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 14:40:00 EST

If Asteroids is deserving of a movie adaptation, then no video game in all of creation is off the table -- a maxim proven by Half Day Today's inspiring trailer for The Oregon Trail: The Movie, which you'll find after the jump. (And yes, before you ask, there's dysentery.)

Continue reading Oregon Trail: The Movie has given us dysentery

Oregon Trail: The Movie has given us dysentery originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 02 Aug 2010 14:40:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Retro City Rampage parodies sandbox games, everything else

JC Fletcher — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 23:00:00 EST

Filed under: Weird But True, Opinions, New In Pop Culture

If you're not familiar with Retro City Rampage, you'll at least be familiar with the references contained within VBlank's WiiWare game. The retro-style open-world game is filled with jokes about DuckTales, Back to the Future, TMNT Contra, and even the Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" video. And that's just what can be seen in these screenshots!

You might, in fact, be more familiar with the PAX 10 winner than you think. Retro City Rampage began its life as Grand Theftendo, a faithful NES remake of Grand Theft Auto III, back in 2004. Since then, it's become less "faithful" and more "original," and it's moved from the NES to WiiWare, but creator Brian Provinciano has kept the irresistible central idea of a GTA-style game rendered with NES-style visuals.

Gallery: Retro City Rampage (WiiWare)

Retro City Rampage parodies sandbox games, everything else originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 19 Jul 2010 23:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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College Humor reveals the 'super easy' modes of classic games

Griffin McElroy — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 07:00:00 EST

You might find College Humor's latest video game parody clip, posted just past the jump, a hilarious look at what might have been had classic games been laughably more accessible. We see it as a haunting vision of things to come. That easy mode included in Mega Man 10? That's how it all starts.

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College Humor reveals the 'super easy' modes of classic games originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 09 Jul 2010 07:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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We really wish 8-bit StarCraft was a thing we could play

David Hinkle — Fri, 21 May 2010 05:00:00 EST

StarCraft 2 may be one of the most anticipated titles of this year, but after checking out this 8-bit recreation of the game that started it all, we're inclined to cancel our pre-order and spend the rest of our days praying for a playable version. It takes us back to our elementary school days, when we thought getting to play Oregon Trail in school was about the best thing ever. Can you imagine if we had this instead? Zerg rushing would be at, like, a whole 'nother level.

But we digress. Instead of pining for what could've been, you should head past the break to watch the game in action and hope for what could be: an actual playable release of this charming 8-bit recreation. What else could you possibly want in life?

Continue reading We really wish 8-bit StarCraft was a thing we could play

We really wish 8-bit StarCraft was a thing we could play originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 21 May 2010 05:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Naughty Bear's cannibalistic, Jaws-inspired trailer

David Hinkle — Sat, 15 May 2010 11:30:00 EST

The parodies keep coming for Naughty Bear, as this latest trailer takes a bite out of Steven Spielberg's horror hit, Jaws. While we definitely enjoy the spirited homage, we do have one issue: it's straight-up cannibalism. We don't care if these bears are full of fluffy cotton -- seeing one bear consume another is terrifying.

You can get in on our own personal nightmare by clicking the play button after the break. Just don't say we didn't warn you.

Continue reading Naughty Bear's cannibalistic, Jaws-inspired trailer

Naughty Bear's cannibalistic, Jaws-inspired trailer originally appeared on Joystiq on Sat, 15 May 2010 11:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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'Koopa Hell' may change our Super Mario Bros. strategy forever

Griffin McElroy — Thu, 13 May 2010 14:30:00 EST

We were pretty sure that, after 25 years of practice, our tried-and-true strategy for the original Super Mario Bros. would be fairly set in stone. Little did we know that CollegeHumor (of all websites!) would be the one to show us the cruelty of one of our most basic in-game maneuvers: the Koopa Bounce Pipe Trap. What happens to that poor creature after you've left him bouncing between two pipes? Thanks to the Mushroom Kingdom's lack of inertial dissipation, he stays that way for all eternity.

Watch the video after the break to see how your thoughtless actions might have sent countless Koopas spiraling into a nightmarish realm of Lovecraftian horrors. You monster.

Continue reading 'Koopa Hell' may change our Super Mario Bros. strategy forever

'Koopa Hell' may change our Super Mario Bros. strategy forever originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 13 May 2010 14:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Master Chief Sings: a 19-disc set of John 117's best

David Hinkle — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 20:27:00 EST

With all of that space travel going on, there's got to be plenty of downtime for the last Spartan in existence. Sure, Master Chief can just hop into a cryo-chamber and saw some wood between Halo games -- but every now and then, when nobody's around, MC likes to exercise the old pipes. You would not believe how dynamic his range is, clearly exhibited in the video past the break from IGN.

Oh, and before you watch the video (and inevitably call that number to order your own set), know that we think we've finally figured out John 117's identity: Michael McDonald.

[Via LazyGamer]

Continue reading Master Chief Sings: a 19-disc set of John 117's best

Master Chief Sings: a 19-disc set of John 117's best originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 21 Apr 2010 20:27:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Have ten minutes? Play an RPG from beginning to end with Synopsis Quest

Andrew Yoon — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 19:00:00 EST

Joystiq publishes a story about every thirty minutes. While you wait for the next post to appear on the site, you can constantly hit F5 and click on every single ad you see ... or, you can play Synopsis Quest. Broken up into 25 micro-games, Synopsis Quest reduces the quintessential elements of every JRPG, from character creation, to finding a princess, to escaping a prison, and more.

The solution to many of the puzzles won't be immediately apparent, unless you've been trained to recognize JRPG conventions. In many situations, doing what you're "supposed" to do will lead to disastrous results. Think outside of the box, and you'll be able to beat an RPG -- from beginning to end -- in about ten minutes. Good luck!

[Via Rock, Paper, Shotgun]

Have ten minutes? Play an RPG from beginning to end with Synopsis Quest originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 07 Apr 2010 19:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Mega64: Heavy Rain makes you cry (a lot)

David Hinkle — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 23:30:00 EST

Whether it's through its potent pixel combinations or the fact that the game regularly gives you purple nurples (not really ... we hope), Heavy Rain is bound to make you cry. Don't believe us? Well, would you believe the talented and scholarly chaps at Mega64? Yeah, we thought so!

The troupe's latest contribution posits that Heavy Rain is so sad, you won't even crack a smile if you go to Disneyland after playing it. Certainly, one must keep in mind that this is simply one man's experience, but it doesn't necessarily rule out Heavy Rain as a tear-inducing descent into a bottomless well of sadness. Figure out the case of The Crying Amusement Park Attendee for yourself by watching the video past the break.

Continue reading Mega64: Heavy Rain makes you cry (a lot)

Mega64: Heavy Rain makes you cry (a lot) originally appeared on Joystiq on Tue, 23 Feb 2010 23:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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College Humor writes a complaint to Mario Bros. Plumbing

David Hinkle — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 00:45:00 EST

We've all seen Super Mario Bros. parodies before -- some that even make Mario a pretty sick and deranged dude. Been there, done that. But, what makes this College Humor video so special -- aside from its unusually grody depiction of the brothers Mario -- is its surprise ending. We won't spoil it for you, so you'll have to click on over if you want to check it out.

College Humor writes a complaint to Mario Bros. Plumbing originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 30 Dec 2009 00:45:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Parody for charity: Retro Matt Hazard stuff on eBay

JC Fletcher — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 02:25:00 EST

click to go down Fake Memory Lane in our galleryThe best part of the Matt Hazard series, in our opinion, is the part that doesn't exist -- the fake retro series which the new games pretend to reboot. While the classic Matt Hazard games aren't precisely real, you can now buy the cartridges on eBay. To benefit Child's Play, D3 is selling mockup Hazard memorabilia, including nonfunctional game cartridges and functional Haz-Matt Carts shirts -- and, of course, slap bracelets -- in four simultaneous auctions.

It's kind of the opposite of digital distribution: instead of getting a game without physical media, delivered over the internet, you'll get cartridges with no game inside through the mail.

Gallery: Matt Hazard promo items

Parody for charity: Retro Matt Hazard stuff on eBay originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 17 Dec 2009 02:25:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Mega64 makes its own mind-blowing Final Fantasy XIII announcement

Andrew Yoon — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 05:03:00 EST

When Square Enix unveiled the English-language release date of Final Fantasy XIII, Joystiq commenter Chedder dared to ask the one question on everyone's mind. "Is it me or has the host of this video been drenched by a douche nozzle before they turned the cameras on?" Mega64 has the answer: yes.

Mega64's parody announcement one-ups Square Enix's hyperbolic ~~infomercial~~ trailer with hilarious real-world "interviews." Oh, and if you're like Anemos, you'll probably love the ending. Check it out after the break.

Continue reading Mega64 makes its own mind-blowing Final Fantasy XIII announcement

Mega64 makes its own mind-blowing Final Fantasy XIII announcement originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 02 Dec 2009 05:03:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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'Project Needlemouse' (not really) revealed!

JC Fletcher — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 02:00:00 EST

The "Project Needlemouse" reimagining of Sonic the Hedgehog has been exclusively revealed on ProjectNeedlemouse.com, and it's more spectacular than we could ever have imagined. It delivers exactly what Sonic fans have clamored for: a brand new, fully 2D sidescrolling Sonic adventure, with appearances only by Sonic and Tails, and an emphasis on pure speed. The best thing about it: you can play the game right now, in your browser.

Okay, so it's a joke created by someone who beat Sega to the domain name, parodying another fan-created "Needlemouse" Sonic game. But that's still less of a disappointment than the real Project Needlemouse will probably be.

[Via GoNintendo]

'Project Needlemouse' (not really) revealed! originally appeared on Joystiq on Tue, 15 Sep 2009 02:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Guitar Hero: The Beatles sends us into a terrifying alternate universe

JC Fletcher — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 11:00:00 EST

Have you ever wondered why single-band Guitar Hero games meet with a chorus of groans, but when Rock Band does it, it's assumed to be the best thing ever? This video depicting a fictional Guitar Hero: The Beatles captures it perfectly. We don't even want to explain the joke(s) -- experience the train wreck in real time after the break.

The Guitar Hero: Whoever series reached its ridiculous extreme with the recent announcement that the Van Halen game would be given away as a freebie with Guitar Hero 5. While we appreciate it as a deal, it shows just how much even Activision thinks of it.

[Thanks, Jeff]

Continue reading Guitar Hero: The Beatles sends us into a terrifying alternate universe

Guitar Hero: The Beatles sends us into a terrifying alternate universe originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 07 Sep 2009 11:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Inglourious Plummers trailer finally combines Mario and Tarantino

Griffin McElroy — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 14:00:00 EST

We always thought the Leguizamo-infused Super Mario Bros. film had the propensity to be amazing, if only a more visionary director had grasped the reins of the adaptation. The video we've posted after the jump gives a look into a parallel universe of what could have been -- a universe where Quentin Tarantino had control of the plumber's first silver screen excursion.

The video was produced by the folks over at GamerVision. You might want to brush up on the trailer for Tarantino's upcoming film Inglourious Basterds before you check it out -- their video is a shot-by-shot remake of said trailer, only it takes place in the Mushroom Kingdom instead of Nazi Germany. We never thought about it before watching the video, but the similarities between these two regions are actually rather striking.

[Via DumbDrum]

Continue reading Inglourious Plummers trailer finally combines Mario and Tarantino

Inglourious Plummers trailer finally combines Mario and Tarantino originally appeared on Joystiq on Sat, 15 Aug 2009 14:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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The Lonely Island plays 'Doubt: The Video Game'

Justin McElroy — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 01:00:00 EST

You might have already seen this at the MTV Movie Awards, but if you're the sort of person that's sworn off the MTV Movie Awards entirely (perfectly understandable) then we'd like to present Doubt: The Video Game as imagined by The Lonely Island. Check out the hot, 16-bit action after the break.

Interesting side note: This video was made in conjunction with Fatal Farm, the crew responsible for a bitching TimeShift ad and one of the funniest things on the whole internet.

Continue reading The Lonely Island plays 'Doubt: The Video Game'

The Lonely Island plays 'Doubt: The Video Game' originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 26 Jun 2009 01:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Even Mexico loves Mario parody skits

Majed Athab — Mon, 18 May 2009 22:15:00 EST

Anywhere you go in the world, you'll find people who love Mario. On the national Mexican television show, Hazme reír! y serás millonario, a group of three friends performed a Mario skit parodying / reenacting the original Super Mario Bros. It's a cute little routine with some hilarious moments, though it's not entirely accurate (fanboys will likely point out that the actual Mario does not kick enemies, he stomps on them ... and since when did Mario start dressing in Peach's colors, hmm?). Still, it's an impressive thing to do, especially since it was broadcast across an entire country.

Interestingly, the crowd was pretty into it, rooting on the overalls-clad hero as he took down Bowser and saved the princess. Oh, wait, or was she in another castle? You'll have to watch the video clip after the break to find out!

[Via Go Nintendo]

Continue reading Even Mexico loves Mario parody skits

Even Mexico loves Mario parody skits originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 18 May 2009 22:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Squibs Arcade brings back the 'fun' of LCD handhelds

JC Fletcher — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:00:00 EST

European publisher Alten8 has announced one of the weirdest WiiWare titles yet -- which is saying a lot on the platform that features Major League Eating: The Game, Target Toss Pro: Bags and Pong Toss: Frat Party Games. Squibs Arcade isn't just a collection of Game & Watch/Tiger LCD-style games, it's a collection of fake LCD games, designed as boiled-down parodies of modern favorites.

In the five released screenshots, we can see Gun Cogs, based on Gears Of War, as well as Crowd Wader, Jack a Motor, We're Fat, and Cardboard Axel Mush (Assassin's Creed, Grand Theft Auto, Wii Fit, and Metal Gear Solid, respectively). The collection will also include games called Clown, Button Basher, Fantasy Turn Base, Call of Honour, Lots of Levelling, and Regret the Fist. Alten8 will release Squibs Arcade in Europe in Q2, and will show the title at this week's WiiWare Media Summit in Frankfurt, Germany.

In related news, there's a WiiWare Media Summit this week in Frankfurt, Germany!

The press release also mentions that Luc Bernard's Eternity's Child is still on the way, within "the next few months."

Gallery: Squibs Arcade (WiiWare)

Squibs Arcade brings back the 'fun' of LCD handhelds originally appeared on Joystiq on Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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PETA plans on making more games to spread message

Alexander Sliwinski — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 09:40:00 EST

Filed under: Culture, Business

PETA intends on creating more games to raise awareness about practices within the meat industry. The organization states that its recent Cooking Mama game wasn't an attack on publisher Majesco, but a way of getting its "Meet your Meat" video -- an unsettling "undercover video" of a corporate turkey farm -- in front of fresh eyes.

Speaking with GI.biz, a PETA spokesperson said the organization uses games to raise awareness in people who "may be turned off by more direct appeals." It originally turned to games to attract young males, but has since learned the demographics are much wider. The group believes Majesco took the parody in the way it was intended, which seems like a reasonable assumption considering the publisher's lighthearted response. Despite all the joking, PETA does hope that Majesco makes a Cooking Mama: Vegetarian Kitchen "one day."

Source - PETA: We'll keep using games "to spread our message" [GI.biz]
Source - Cooking Mama Responds to PETA Parody [PETA]

PETA plans on making more games to spread message originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 24 Nov 2008 09:40:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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D3 reveals satirical shooter 'Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard'

Ludwig Kietzmann — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 11:40:00 EST

Filed under: Sony PlayStation 3, Microsoft Xbox 360, Action

Vicious Cycle Software and D3Publisher have decided it's time to poke fun at our beloved (but grizzled!) space marines, revealing the first, scant details of their upcoming Xbox 360 and PS3 shooter, Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard. According to the press release, the award-winning writer behind Dead Head Fred, Dave Ellis, came up with the whole shebang-bang-bang.

As you might expect from a modern third-person shooter -- even a humorous one -- Eat Lead will employ a cover system (dubbed "point and cover") and "different interactive melee moves." Provided the game remembers that taking potshots at the genre doesn't exclude it from being judged as a shooter, The Return of Matt Hazard in Q1 2009 may just be welcomed. In fact, we're just about ready to join Matt's appropriately and believably terrible fansite.

Gallery: Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard (PS3, 360)

D3 reveals satirical shooter 'Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard' originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 03 Oct 2008 11:40:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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To Catch A Mario

Chris Greenhough — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 22:00:00 EST

Filed under: Video

Mario: lovable mascot of the world's greatest videogame company, or dangerous child sex predator? We thought we knew the Italian plumber well enough, but apparently not.

NBC Dateline's Chris Ted Hansen, brother of Chris Hansen, has caught Mario red-handed, entering a young victim's house in this delicious spoof of popular show To Catch A Predator. Like every predator that walks into the real Hansen's web, Mario immediately begins stuttering far-fetched excuses, though "I'm-a here to fix tha' pipes" is a new one on us, you beast. First incest, and now this?! Needless to say, the sicko is soon 'cuffed up by the cops.

Incidentally, if none of this is making any sense to you, there's a video of the real show past the break.

Continue reading To Catch A Mario

To Catch A Mario originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 22:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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The least they could parody

Alisha Karabinus — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 21:30:00 EST

Filed under: Fan stuff, Homebrew

The creators of the sometimes NSFW (and also amusing) webcomic The Least I Could Do (and also, Looking for Group) have ventured into new territory: parody Mario Bros. games. Or rather, game, singular ... or, if you want to be very specific, Super Rayne's World.

The first level is currently available, and it's a good and silly mix of traditional Mario-esque gameplay, with all the staples replaced by cameos of characters and themes from the comic. For fans of the comic, the choices make hilarious sense; no one else could parody a Piranha Plant the way they do. Forget fireballs, too; here, you're hurling bottles of tequila. Guess that's a little more tasteful than some other things they could have chosen, considering Rayne's proclivities. Not a fan of the comic? Let's just say the main character's favorite anecdote involves that time he bought a horse a prostitute.

While it's still in the early stages, the game serves as a nice diversion, and could actually develop into something fun, particularly for Rayne's devotees. Check out a couple of screens from the level after the break.

Continue reading The least they could parody

The least they could parody originally appeared on Joystiq on Sun, 10 Aug 2008 21:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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It's Burgertime to kick ass

JC Fletcher — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:30:00 EST

Filed under: Fan stuff, Video

The Duke Nukem Trilogy trailer handily won E3 with its intoxicating combination of flying logos, stock images of dudes in gas masks, and slow-motion crotch closeups. Now Data East's arcade classic Burgertime has been given the same expert treatment. Peter Pepper's struggle to make giant hamburgers with his feet while being assaulted by sentient food has never looked so badass.

Unlike Duke Nukem Trilogy, we have reason to believe that Burgertime will actually come out (the reason being that it was already released hundreds of times), which makes it that much easier to get hyped.

[Via Dot Matrix With Stereo Sound]

It's Burgertime to kick ass originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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