Update: Apparently, this particular blending mystery was solved a while ago -- however, Tom Dickson promised us a free Blendtec blender if we brought it up again. We apologize for our unquenchable thirst for outrageously overpowered kitchen appliances.

Considering that Blendtec's doomsday device has already proved its ability to obliterate bricks, fake diamonds, small buildings and many large breeds of dogs, it should come as no surprise that (spoiler alert) it can chew through a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV with ease. What is surprising is host Tom Dickson's incredibly short fuse -- apparently, when something provides him with the smallest amount of displeasure, it finds itself on the business end of the appliance's screaming blades. For the sake of Tom's children (who likely have perfect grades and manners out of fear of a liquefying punishment), we remind the charismatic host that with great blending power comes great blending responsibility.

Dan Houser, Vice President of creativity for Rockstar Games, has apparently never enjoyed the visceral thrill of creating a Mii in his own likeness and entering the boxing ring with a similarly Mii-ified version of Adolf Hitler -- or else we assume he wouldn't have dropped the following foul-mouthed quote in an interview with New York Magazine: "Yeah, fuck all this stuff about casual gaming." Poignant, no?

He goes on to explain that while the warm reception of Nintendo's latest console is "fantastic", gamers still want games with production values and narratives that rival those of big-budget movies, much like the titles produced by Rockstar. The rest of the interview is actually a very intriguing look at how the Grand Theft Auto IV team meticulously built a city using the Big Apple as their inspiration, but something tells us that the rest of the story might get overshadowed by that one particular sound bite.

The brave souls who soldiered through the vast queue at the Gamestop in downtown Huntington, W. Va. were put through a rigorous gauntlet of trials and tribulations before being rewarded with Rockstar's blockbuster shoot em' up -- including, but not limited to a freak, unseasonal cold front; a somewhat humorous (but unfortunately brief and unphotographed) drive-by water balloon strike; and alarming in-line discussions of bomb recipes and Sedan-mounted automatic weaponry.

However, the most disturbing sight seen at the launch is pictured above -- a tragic crime scene, just a few feet away from the store's registers. These two poor fellows were just mere moments from claiming their respective copies of the much anticipated title, leaving behind a puzzling forensic tableau. Hastily driving from the event with copies of Grand Theft Auto IV in hand, we were left with these pertinent questions:

• What kind of altercation could have lead to this unfortunate double homicide?
• What modifications were made to the pictured Nerf guns that imbued them with lethal force?
• What sort of Crime Scene Investigation squad leaves behind the murder weapons in such a public place?
• Most importantly, why did Gamestop remain open following this horrible act of violence?

Australia has a long, tumultuous history when it comes to video game censorship -- largely due to the fact that their system of video game classification currently lacks a rating above MA15+, meaning any game deemed too intense for 15-year-olds is often censored (or even banned, in some extreme cases). However, just a stone's skip across the Tasman Sea, New Zealand provides a more favorable environment for mature titles, whipping out the Banhammer and the Censorstick much less often than its Southwestern Pacific counterpart.

You can imagine our surprise when we read that the version of Grand Theft Auto IV that will be tailored to Australia's OFLC guidelines will also be the only version available in New Zealand. It seems that the debaucherous adventures of Niko Bellic were deemed inappropriate by the somewhat hipper Kiwi chapter of the OFLC, much to the chagrin of the thousands of Australians who pre-ordered the naughty version of the game from New Zealand's online gaming retailers.

Oddly enough, the version of GTA IV that will be sold in fellow Oceania nation Papua New Guinea will not only be uncensored, but will be accompanied by an actual foul-mouthed, gun-toting hooker. In the words of New Zealand pop sensation OMC, "How Bizarre, How Bizarre!"

[Thanks to everyone who sent this in!]

With today's dissolution of the embargo on all things Grand Theft Auto IV, came a veritable deluge of reviews and media related to the game. By now, we've seen all the teasers released by Rockstar, and read the write-ups which were hidden behind the floodgates just a few hours ago. However, in this maelstrom of perfect scores and cinematic trailers, there hasn't been much in the way of actual gameplay footage -- until Gametrailers cracked open their secret stash, revealing a bevy of cutscenes, car chases, and call girls just aching to be viewed by the impatient crime drama enthusiast. We've got some highlights after the jump; those purposefully trying to remain in the dark would be well advised to steer clear. You've been warned!

(You probably don't need us to tell you that some videos are NSFW.)

Need a refresher on Liberty City? Check out our game page for all things Grand Theft Auto IV. Seriously, this is everything we've written on the game. Bookmark the page, as we'll be constantly updating.

Taking a cue from Bungie's stat-a-riffic Bungie.net service, Rockstar Games has just announced the Rockstar Games Social Club, "a new website that will extend your experience of Grand Theft Auto IV and all future Rockstar Games titles." Line up against the Club's stanchions at rockstargames.com/socialclub and be ready for registration on April 15th. All you'll need is a Xbox Live gamertag and/or a PSN ID and an insatiable hunger for statistics. You've got one of those, right?

Once GTA IV launches, the site will offer the usual multiplayer leaderboards, along with a torrent of statistically generated functionality. The LCPD Police Blotter will show the most dangerous areas of Liberty City and the most commonly used weapons, using the "aggregated data of millions of connected players." Similarly, the Liberty City Marathon will catalog the "the amount of miles walked, driven, or swam -- to the number of bullets fired and stunt-jumps jumped" and will hold competitions amongst players using this data. Other sections will track players who complete 100% of the game (they can win an "ultra-rare" bit of swag); a Hall of Fame, tracking the various leaderboard champs; and The Story Gang, a "single-player leaderboard." Consider us interested. You could consider us even more interested if we knew the first thing about the game's multiplayer functionality, outside of the occasional rumor.

EuroGamer reports that a patch released five days ago, which intended to fix the issues in the Xbox 360 version of Bully: Scholarship Edition, may have caused more problems than it resolved. Reported problems include freezes, along with audio and graphic glitches. Rockstar explained that the issue is with older consoles, but EuroGamer states its (relatively new?) office Elite locks up.

We're still waiting to hear from Rockstar about what's really going on, but the company seems to have locked itself in the teacher's lounge and refuses to come out. So, what's the word on the virtual streets? Are people still having problems with their copy of Bully on the Xbox 360?