The much ballyhooed Team Fortress 2 Heavy Update that Valve released this past Tuesday will be heading to the Xbox 360 by year's end, according to Gamespot. At last, you can start cracking your knuckles and bone up on your sandvich eating skillz. Just watching those videos made us want to start playing TF2 again. We know, you're saying, "What?! Why'd you put it down in the first place?"

New maps, new weapons, and new achievements? What's not to love? Anything that can extend the wonderment of TF2 is just fine by us. Now get cracking on a massive Portal update, already. The XBLA title is only going to keep us sated for so long.

Meet Team Fortress 2's "Edible Device" and shotgun replacement, the Sandvich.

Valve really missed a good opportunity for a bad pun here by not calling it "Meat the Sandvich," but hey, it's still pretty damned funny. What's next in the series of loony videos? Meet the Bullet? Seriously though, we'd watch them all. Heck, just throw a TF2 cartoon on the air as part of Adult Swim and we'd be glued to our sets.

[Thanks Giroro, Alistair and Vandell]

The perpetually patched Team Fortress 2 is about to get its "largest update ever" (dare we say heaviest?) next week on August 19. In the lead-up, Valve is releasing new information and screenshots about the patch each day, as well as a "special installment to the 'Meet the Team' series of video shorts," according to the press release. The community map cp_steel was revealed on the first day.

Besides new weapons and achievements for the Heavy class, the next update will include new multiplayer maps and a "brand new gameplay mode," possibly related to the new type of environment we heard about earlier this month. As with the other updates, Valve is offering a free Team Fortress 2 weekend starting August 22 at 2pm ET.

Yes, we're still playing Valve's classy, cartoonish shooter, Team Fortress 2. We'll continue to do so for as long as the game keeps receiving updates -- and there's at least one more on the way. Posting on the official Team Fortress 2 blog, Valve's Jakob Jungels has suggested that our multiplayer mileu may be due for a makeover.

"One of the things we're looking at for the next update is the creation of a new type of environment for our levels to be built in," he wrote. "We're pretty happy with the way our environments have turned out so far, but as we create more and more maps with these achievement packs, we want our level designers to have more to work with in terms of giving their settings a unique look."

Jungels notes that before making it into the game, each potential environment has to satisfy a list of requirements. Does it allow for new gameplay? Does it support existing gameplay types? Is it completely awesome? We anxiously await a chorus of yeses.

Better than a papercraft, here's a Team Fortress 2 dispenser case mod. Make your own model via Bit-Tech. Check out the highlights for today:

Joystiquery
The best of WoW Insider, July 1-8, 2008
Counting Rupees: Korea bangs
GH: Aerosmith compatibility poll results are ... inconclusive
Joystiq Reader Meetup in Santa Monica next Thursday, July 17th
Podcast Rodeo for July 8: Ears of War
Readers pick best webcomic, with or without Yahtzee
The Joystiq Free Game Club: GemCraft

News
MGS animated short is 'Cold Blooded'
Finally: Motion control comes to the C64
Majesco bringing Away Shuffle Dungeon stateside
PS3 Firmware 2.41 is now live
Square Enix releases iPod RPG, Song Summoner
Defy logic and play Punch-Out! with bongos
Capcom opening its E3 booth to the public
PS3 2.40 bricking caused by 'certain' system admin data
How you like the 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand trailer now?
New look for Platinum Trophy in PS3 firmware 2.41
Bethesda talks murder, sex, slavery and cannibalism in Fallout 3
Midway to pass Blitz: The League II downfield this fall
Ubisoft buys 300, Sin City effects studio
BEHOLD: Activision Blizzard is born
Gears of War 2 splash page strongly hints at Nov 9 release date
Star Wars Battlefront III surfaces on Amazon
EA won't make move on Take Two until after FTC probe
Sony feels your pain, prepares more PAIN
Sarah's Emergency Room: think Doctor Dash
'Flock' revealed as one of Capcom's mystery E3 titles

Rumors & Speculation
Bungie teases July 14th announcement
Rumor: Rock Band 2 to feature all RB1 tracks as free DLC
Rumor: Lost Planet movie to be announced at E3
Rumorong: GameSpot says Rock Band 2 will support RB1 songs
Rumor: Wal-Mart memo says 40GB PS3 to be 'replaced' in August

First the Medic, then Pyro, and now Mr. Heavy. Valve has announced that the Heavy class is next in line for Team Fortress 2 class updates (i.e. new weapons and achievements). Additionally, Valve said it will "open up the process a little" in talking about how the update is designed. The goal of the update is to "make the Heavy more viable when he has no Medic to pair with" but in a manner that does not significantly change the Heavy's role in the game. We're interested to see how those ideas and constrants translate to new firepower.

[Thanks, Andrew R!]

You know what's cooler than a Team Fortress 2 Spy Munny? All 9 TF2 classes lined up together in Munny form. Make it happen, Internet. (Thanks, John) Check out the highlights for today:

Joystiquery
The best of WoW Insider: June 24-July 1, 2008
Big Versus tweaks format while Alone in the Dark
Joystiq hands-on: Spore (the whole thing)
A lustful look at Limited Edition DS models
Massively Week in Review: June 24-July 1, 2008
Readers pick best webcomic: The Inevitable Conclusion

News
Having Bad Company connection issues on 360? Try resetting
GoldenEye 007's KLOBB returns in Too Human
The Best of The Who Rock Band set list revealed
Ding! Majesco serves up more Cooking Mama for Wii
Steam hacker caught in 'high tech' raid
Behold: New Too Human previews hit
Atlus, NIS America partner over Disgaea 3, Rhapsody remake
MGS Europe: Simultaneous 360/PC releases like shooting ourselves in the foot
Guitar Hero III getting free 'Top Gun Anthem' DLC
IGN to Silicon Knights: Here's how to fix Too Human
New Resistance 2 footage hits YouTube
Castlevania Judgment to feature Wii-DS connectivity
Burnout Paradise to receive retroactive PlayStation Trophies
Activision CEO sticks to console price drop message
Crysis Warhead preps for battle with debut trailer, screenshots
Fallout 3 producer finds Diablo 3 design 'conservative'
BioWare eyeing iPhone development
Cast your vote for Spider-Man box ... in the trash
Revisit Diablo 2, demo available at Big Download

Rumors & Speculation
Sony denies PS2 downloads on PSN, image 'mocked up'
Third-party 360s 'unlikely,' analyst says
Rumor: Geometry Wars Retro Evolved 2 Achievements leaked
Rumor: Rock Band 2 partial setlist revealed on G4

Culture & Community
Pulitzer Prize winning author says GTA IV ain't art
No pants: one in five Canadian men have gamed in the nude
Wishful tinkering: Redesigning the 360 Dashboard
Ohio library now loaning video games

Reader Ian G. recently submitted an image to us that he accidentally discovered using a StumbleUpon toolbar, which appears to be an early draft of an upcoming update for Team Fortress 2's most innocuous of classes, the Spy. The origins of said image are unknown -- perhaps it's a leak from Valve's vault? A convincing photoshop from a dedicated fan? Perhaps Ian is in possession of a magical StumbleUpon toolbar, capable of stumbling into the future?

While it certainly looks convincing, we're leaning towards "convincing photoshop" -- especially considering most of the text is copied and Elmer's school glued from Valve's official Pyro update. As credible as the new weapons (such as the silenced PPK and the Garrote) and achievements (Joykill: Backstab a laughing enemy) look, we doubt the legitimacy of these supposed details about our masked, nicotine-infused friend.

Update: Given the final line of the copyright information at the bottom of the page, which reads "Hoax by Ka anin :P!", we're ready to go ahead and file this one under B, for bunko.

This is probably a bit old, but we never tire of game-related origami, especially for Team Fortress 2. A sentry gun and paperclip dispenser? Priceless. Instructions can be found in the middle of this forum page. Don't forget it's a free TF2 weekend. Check out the highlights for today:

Joystiquery
A guided tour of World of Warcraft patch 2.4.3
A week with Spore Creatures: Conclusion
DS Fanboy Lite: June 14 - June 20
Joystiq eyes and ears-on: Guitar Hero: World Tour
Joystiq Podcast 054 - World exclusive edition
Metareview -- Alone in the Dark (Euro edition)
Readers pick best webcomic: On Perspective
This Week in Review wants to rock (ROCK!)
WRUP: Remember the 32-bit Era Edition

News
EA: Saboteur, Dragon Age to miss '08
Saint's Row 2 'a very differentiated product'
Twilight Hack prevention already thwarted
PlayStation Experience bringing LittleBigPlanet to you
Crysis Warhead won't make your PC cry
Caffeinated Games pitches 'FarmLands'
New EGM promises Killzone 2 blowout
Stand-alone MGO planned for Japan
Sony CEO: PlayStation profitability is top priority
ESRB to curb early game leaks
UK short on skilled video game labour
London Mayor groups video games with illegal activities
IGN introduces us to some Fable 2 NPCs
Disney announces Bolt licensed games, our minds wander
BioShock PC install limits removed, DRM remains
BioWare considering Wii, PSP development
Rock Band Weekly: Weezer gets set to Doolittle
Multiwinia preview shows off pixelated mayhem
Tales of Vesperia gets demo on Xbox Live
See gameplay video from Deadliest Catch
Namco's Ace Combat team bringing 'Sky Crawlers' to Wii
Bluth and Co. treat fans as Dragon's Lair turns 25

Rumors & Speculation
PopCap hints at major console collaboration
Rumorong: Resident Evil 5 hitting simultaneously on PS3, 360

Culture & Community
Rock the Ashram with Love Guru's web game Sitar Star
Retro for the road: Portable Atari 7800
Pixeloo returns with the Real Niko Bellic

A new update Team Fortress 2 is now available via Steam and includes major updates to the Pyro class. The basic flamethrower has alternate fire compression blast, the hadouken taunt now kills people and, most importantly, three new weapons have been added, to be unlocked by conquering the 35 new Pyro achievements.

The update also adds two community maps (cp_fastlane and ctf_turbine). Don't forget, Team Fortress 2 is free to play all weekend starting tomorrow. You can pre-load the game now.

The big overhaul of Team Fortress 2's Pyro class won't arrive until tomorrow, but Valve is pulling the veil off of the changes today, including three new weapons and 35 new achievements for the firestarter.

At the top there, you see the Flare Gun, which replaces the Pyro's shotgun and lets you light up enemies at long range. In the middle? It's the Axtinguisher, the melee weapon that always makes a critical hit on flaming enemies. Finally, there's the Back Burner, which is guaranteed to crit if it hits a foe from behind.

If we still haven't cured your pyromania (we've been waiting all post to say that) check out all the details right here.

The game may be ancient by our warped internet standards of time, but we're more than happy to make a mini-tub of popcorn and watch another one of Valve's Team Fortress 2 vignettes. Although Pyro is getting an upgrade this Thursday in the game, it's the Sniper who gets the mini-film treatment above.

Now we just need Pyro, Spy and Medic to get their episodes and this whole affair can come to an end ... although we wouldn't mind future clips featuring the whole cast in hilariously psychotic situations. Just saying, Valve, we really wouldn't mind.

We didn't think it possible to get more satisfaction out of setting people and property ablaze, but the eternal optimists at Valve are attempting to improve on the experience with an update to Team Fortress 2's Pyro class, which the company has announced will arrive on Thursday. Expect the Axtinguisher (which sounds like something Strong Bad came up with) as well as two other weapons and 35 new achievements for the Fortress firebug.

What's more, all Steam users will be able to try out the new enhancements with a free Team Fortress 2 weekend beginning this Friday. (Note to new players: TF2 is not always a hellish world of flame, populated only by masked men spraying fire in every direction. That will pass, we promise.)

This week's webcomic wrapup was over before it started. There's something ever-so beautiful about Christopher Robin's fantasy being played out through our fantasy of capturing intelligence, building sentry guns, and using a flamethrower in a virtual, carefree environment. Our hats are officially off to you, Fanboys-Online.

Second and third place go to 2P Start and Penny Arcade, respectively. Thanks to everyone who voted, and be sure to let us know of any game-realted webcomics you stumble upon this week!

Don't misinterpret that headline -- the much anticipated update for Valve's cartoony multiplayer run-and-gunner, Team Fortress 2, will not see the dismissal of the game's most burninating class. No, we simply mean that Valve has revealed one of the unlockable weapons for the Pyro: the mighty Axtinguisher. Well, the sometimes mighty Axtinguisher -- Valve explained in a recent Steam blog post that the weapon only deals half as much damage as the standard fire axe, unless used against engulfed opponents, in which case it deals a guaranteed critical hit.

We've yet to learn the achievements required to unlock this powerful armament, or the other equipment that will be made available to the flame-obsessed archetype -- though in the same news post, Valve confirmed the Pyro-centric update will be accompanied by one of their popular video introductions for the most steady-handed TF2 character, titled "Meet The Sniper". Also, Valve confirmed that they've "almost completely wrapped up" the update. Arsonists, rejoice!

[Via Evil Avatar]