Read on for our interview regarding Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball, deceased presidents and Xbox Live Arcade's infamous certification process.

Alright, be honest. How sick are you of interviewers asking you to pick between pirates and ninjas?

You know what, I haven't had very many interviews lately, so I'm fresh. I'm not quite a virgin with regards to pirates and ninjas in interviews, but close enough. Born again, you could say.

Plus, you know, it's obviously PIRATES.

Well, some would say it's obviously NINJAS, so the argument rages on.

How much longer do you give this meme before it's gone?

Here's a great example of why you shouldn't sleep in. Every week, Nintendo sends out a release about its new downloadable game offerings of the week. My dear, close friend Ross, still flush with joy from his trip to PAX, gets to the email first and ends up writing about the Virtual Console release, the totally awesome Super Mario RPG while I, still groggy from choosing a Sunday night to make myself the Mayor of Lower New Drunkington, get to write about the WiiWare side of the coin: My Aquarium (Hudson Entertainment, 1 player, 500 Wii Points).

So, here we go: My Aquarium is a virtual aquarium, similar to a real aquarium in every way except that it never forces you to teach your children complicated and often troubling lessons about death.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to bed.

Nintendo's WiiWare service has apparently sparked a renewed interest in developing games with one pixelated foot rooted in the past. Following both Capcom and Konami's head start, Hudson has likewise decided to dip into its archives, returning with news to bring the Wii-make of its TurboGrafx-16 sci-fi pinball game, Alien Crush, to North America.

Descriptively titled Alien Crush Returns, the download was released today in Japan and is based on the 1988 classic, which itself is available on WiiWare's sister service. While a date for the game's North American debut has not yet been announced, Hudson notes the follow-up will again be played across two screens and an unspecified number of boards, each no doubt filled with galactic baddies with a lust for silver balls. Most interesting, however, is news that Alien Crush Returns will support two-player online play as well as include online leader boards, with Hudson promising multiple online tournaments for the pinball-obsessed to throw down with their E.T. crushing skills.

Hudson announced this morning that Bomberman Blast, an "all-new Bomberman," will release for WiiWare at some point in the future. The game will support the use of Miis and 8-player online multiplayer.

Don't expect this WiiWare version to be a totally awesome re-imagining of the Bomberman franchise like Act Zero -- the press release makes it sound like this is going to be the same iteration rehash of the formula we've seen for a few decades. There's currently no word on a release window or how online matchmaking will be handled. We've contacted Hudson regarding both matters.

Trying to get those chunky pounds to come right off, but you're unable to find a copy of the elusive Wii Fit anywhere within a fifty-mile radius? Perhaps a new WiiWare title, due out tomorrow, can temporarily fill the void -- Ghostfire Games' rhythm-fitness title Helix. The game, which will cost 1000 Wii Points, will have players performing 30 different gestures with two Wiimotes to the beat of 26 songs from independent artists. Ghostfire CEO Ed Roman highlighted the game's health benefits, saying that you can "really burn some calories playing this game." Based on the gameplay video we've posted after the break, you'll probably look totally cool whilst doing so.

WiiWare, apparently exhausting itself by being worthwhile last week, has returned to its tried-and-true policy of being completely unworthy of your attention. This week, we've got Gameloft's Midnight Pool (1-2 players, 800 Wii Points), which promises to introduce you to the "coolest players on the circuit" while making no mention of Wii-specific motion controls. Awesome.

This would be lame any other week, but consider that the Virtual Console got another sub-par pool game last week and it's downright sad.

The creators of the original de Blob (i.e. the flash game, not the THQ ports) have revealed they are working on an original real-time strategy game for Nintendo's WiiWare service. Romino Games' Swords & Soldiers is a side-scrolling RTS with three opposing factions and split-screen multiplayer. The term "side-scrolling RTS," together with the screenshots, remind us a bit of Dragon Force (although equally cool, we mean the Sega Saturn title, not the band).

No price has been revealed for the game, currently placed in a Q4 2008 launch window. Consider our interests officially piqued.

[Via NWF]

We, like many of you, we'd imagine, have been spending some time this week with Strong Bad's first WiiWare/PC adventure. On the whole, we've been really impressed by how well it captures the world of its cartoon source material (it's actually funny!) though we far too frequently find ourselves with no idea of what to do next. But what matters our opinion? Let's consult the internet hive mind for a giant slice of their style.

• IGN (81/100): "Like most games in this genre, some of the solutions can be a bit esoteric. But that comes with the territory, and a little trial and error will get you past any obstacles."
• Giant Bomb (60/100): "Based on the just-past-their-prime animated shorts found on Homestarrunner.net (it's dot com!), Strong Bad seems to demand a little more familiarity with the source material than Telltale's Sam & Max series did. As someone who went through a serious Strong Bad phase, I've found the initial experience to be amusing at best, and mildly pleasant at worst."
• Gamervision (70/100): "I had faith, because Telltale has yet to let me down, but I was definitely skeptical about the game. Now, having played through the first episode, Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner, I am happy to report that they did a pretty nice job."

We're hoping you'll just watch the video and not really bother with any of the padding we've surrounded it with. But in case you're wondering, we think Mega Man 9's intro sets the tone for the blue bomber's retro-vitalized return just perfectly. Requiring very little in the way of reflexes, it's also the only section we think we'll have mastered by the time the game hits PSN, XBLA and WiiWare.

Oh, and did you catch the cute news reader cameo? How about that wascally Dr. Wily's "Swiss Bank" number?

[Via Kramez's Blog]

If there's one thing you'll see a lot during your stroll through Mega Man 9's trap-laden, pit-filled and exceedingly deadly memory lane, it's the poor little robot boy exploding into a booming bloom of pulsating energy. Unfortunately, there appears to be no achievement for dying one billion times -- at least not in the list of in-game gongs posted by Inside MGC.

So, how about beating the game without dying? Or without using energy tanks? How confident are you about defeating every boss using only the standard buster ... or without taking damage? Well, it looks like we'll be going for the WiiWare version of the game after all. We just can't deal with Capcom giving us a retro-wrapped gift with one hand and plucking Xbox 360 Achievements (or PSN Trophies?) out of our grasp with the other. Those meanies!

[Thanks, Morgon]

It's been delayed more times than we can count with our boxing glove hands, but, finally, the moment you've waited for since the beginning of the millennium has arrived: The Homestar Runner universe has made its way to video games with Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People (Telltale Games, 1 player, 1,000 Wii Points) on WiiWare and PC.

We, like most of you, we'd imagine, have been a little slack in our Homestar Runner patronage in recent years. But we've been visiting lately to get prepped for the game and trust us, it still holds up enough to have us plenty excited for the game. Will you be picking it up? (Update: Our friends at Nintendo Wii Fanboy have a review of the game, calling it a "quite fun and an excellent piece of fan service.")

As you might have noticed, the first episode of Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People, "Homestar Ruiner," did not make its target month of July. Maybe he was too busy pining for Trevor or [insert more recent Strong Bad reference here], who knows? Thankfully, the wait has nearly ended: Telltale has announced on its site that the first episode will arrive on WiiWare and PC Aug. 11.

We're happy to finally see SB make the leap to the somewhat larger, yet still small screen. But we're more hopeful that the announcement means Telltale can now move on the to the episodic Teen Girl Squad game we all secretly crave.

The untamed wilderness that was the American west in the 19th Century was tough, mister. You never knew when a balloon with dynamite attached to it would float up from the ground and try to attack, not to mention the giant flying sheriff's badges. Purple kamikaze midgets were around every corner, and you couldn't walk 10 feet without getting sombreros thrown at you.

Now, there's a game that captures the West, the real West in all its hat-tossing, purple-kamikaze-midget-having glory: Wild West Guns (Gameloft, 1-2 players, 1,000 Wii Points). Eat your hearts out, Carradines David and Keith. Eat them right out.

Controversifies -- v.tr. -- (1) The act of releasing a game about frat party beer pong as E for Everyone (seriously) and expecting no one to realize that your game centers around excessive alcohol indulgence. (2) Informal. To fill with astonishment and perplexity; confound.

Nintendo has announced that Pong Toss–Frat Party Games is today's WiiWare du Jour. For 800 Wii points (US $8), you can virtually toss a ping pong ball into cups of what assuredly is a mixture of vitamin water, apple juice, love and unicorn tears. What else would be in the "ultimate party-game favorite?"