Joystiq http://www.joystiq.com Joystiq http://www.blogsmithmedia.com/www.joystiq.com/media/feedlogobig.gif Joystiq http://www.joystiq.com en-us Copyright 2013 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/<![CDATA[Silver Lining: Sins and punishment in Deadlight]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2012/09/20/silver-lining-sins-and-punishment-in-deadlight/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/09/20/silver-lining-sins-and-punishment-in-deadlight/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/09/20/silver-lining-sins-and-punishment-in-deadlight/#comments'Silver Lining' is a column from freelancer Taylor Cocke dedicated to highlighting moments of real potential in less than perfect games. This week he examines Tequila Works' Deadlight. The following may contain story spoilers.
Scrawled on the wall in a frenzied font a warning reads "The Inferno Begins Here." Just in case you weren't positive the opening scenes of Deadlight from developer Tequila Works were referencing Dante's Inferno, a nearby collectible journal directly quotes the epic poem: "Through me the way into the suffering city, Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost." In other words, protagonist Randall Wayne will soon be suffering through his own version of Hell.

The scene isn't exactly subtle, and is indicative of a large problem with the rest of the game. Rather than allowing events to play out and ask players to draw their own conclusions about them, Deadlight practically tells you what to feel through a series of notes, diary entries, and flashbacks. Randall's story is a tragic one, to be sure, but it'd be much more powerful if it had been given more room to breathe within the player's own mind.

Gallery: Deadlight

Continue reading Silver Lining: Sins and punishment in Deadlight

JoystiqSilver Lining: Sins and punishment in Deadlight originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 20 Sep 2012 18:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>deadlightmicrosoftOpinionSilver-LiningTequila-WorksXBLAxboxXbox-Live-ArcadeThu, 20 Sep 2012 18:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Silver Lining: Lollipop Chainsaw and the failure of satire]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2012/08/23/silver-lining-lollipop-chainsaw-and-the-failure-of-satire/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/08/23/silver-lining-lollipop-chainsaw-and-the-failure-of-satire/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/08/23/silver-lining-lollipop-chainsaw-and-the-failure-of-satire/#comments'Silver Lining' is a column from freelancer Taylor Cocke dedicated to highlighting moments of real potential in less than perfect games. This week he examines Grasshopper Manufacture's Lollipop Chainsaw. The following may contain story spoilers.
There's an idea on the Internet called Poe's Law. Basically, it states that if a satirical piece is indistinguishable from the subject it is trying to mock, then it's a failure. It was designed to relate to extremist ideologies like those of the Westboro Baptist Church, but the idea can be extrapolated to just about any attempt at satire. And in the case of Lollipop Chainsaw, it's absolutely applicable.

On its face, Lollipop Chainsaw has all the makings of a solid parody title. First off, it's a Suda51 joint, meaning it has a certain lighthearted over-the-top attitude that lends itself well to parody. It was also penned by James Gunn, who has made his career mocking movie tropes with films like Dawn of the Dead, Super, and the vastly underrated Slither. These are guys experienced in making weird, hilarious stuff.

The game itself obviously doesn't take itself seriously. Just take a look at the cover: a scantily clad young woman carrying around a chainsaw while the head of her boyfriend hangs off her belt. It's an undeniably silly image, and one that seems to be making fun of the roles women traditionally inhabit in games. Here's a clearly over-sexualized young woman, carrying a massive chainsaw, and essentially dehumanizing her male counterpart.

But it never quite makes the turn that satire must make to work. In a gaming landscape that involves a whole lot of problematic images of women, pointing out the absurdity of these portrayals could have been something incredibly valuable. Instead, we get the same old tired jokes about sexuality that we've been hearing for years and years.

Gallery: Lollipop Chainsaw (Gamescom 2011)

Continue reading Silver Lining: Lollipop Chainsaw and the failure of satire

JoystiqSilver Lining: Lollipop Chainsaw and the failure of satire originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 23 Aug 2012 17:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>grasshopper-manufacturelollipop-chainsawmicrosoftOpinionpcplaystationps3Silver-LiningxboxThu, 23 Aug 2012 17:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Silver Lining: Inversion and the fear of the great beyond]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2012/08/06/silver-lining-inversion-and-the-fear-of-the-great-beyond/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/08/06/silver-lining-inversion-and-the-fear-of-the-great-beyond/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/08/06/silver-lining-inversion-and-the-fear-of-the-great-beyond/#comments'Silver Lining' is a column from freelancer Taylor Cocke dedicated to highlighting moments of real potential in less than perfect games. This week he examines Saber Interactive's Inversion. The following may contain story spoilers.
Inversion's opening sequence is rather affecting. Protagonist Davis Russel is tied to a pole as a monstrous Lutadore priest babbles on in a difficult to understand tone, preparing to sacrifice the former police officer. In his ostensibly final moments, he begins to remember how he got into the spot he's in. He's lost his family, his city, and soon, his life. It feels like a man reading his own suicide note - he's given up hope and is ready to die.

It certainly sets a tone for the rest of the game, which is mostly told as a flashback. Humanity has lost the war against the invading aliens. The people of Vanguard City have been broken down by the relentless invasion of the monstrous Lutadores. And, if the opening sequence establishes anything, it was a war that they were destined to lose. Davis is on a game-long search for his daughter, and the possibility of saving her seems to be the only thing keeping him going.

Gallery: Inversion (Gamescom 2011)

Continue reading Silver Lining: Inversion and the fear of the great beyond

JoystiqSilver Lining: Inversion and the fear of the great beyond originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 06 Aug 2012 18:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>inversionmicrosoftNamco-BandaiOpinionpcplaystationps3Saber-InteractiveSilver-LiningxboxMon, 06 Aug 2012 18:15:00 EST<![CDATA[Silver Lining: Steel Battalion Heavy Armor and humanity within the mech]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2012/07/06/silver-lining-steel-battalion-heavy-armor-and-humanity-within-t/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/07/06/silver-lining-steel-battalion-heavy-armor-and-humanity-within-t/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/07/06/silver-lining-steel-battalion-heavy-armor-and-humanity-within-t/#comments'Silver Lining' is a column from freelancer Taylor Cocke dedicated to highlighting moments of real potential in less than perfect games. This week he examines From Software's Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor.
An interesting thing happened to me within the first hours of Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor. I started to actually care about the computer controlled soldiers confined to the chassis of my hulking Vertical Tank. Natch and Parker's voices would have been out of place as bad 80s stereotypes. But as the pair reloaded our tank's weapons, spewed tactical advice in my ear, and repaired our VT from encounters, I came to know them as more than chatty computer characters. They were compatriots.

And then I'd aim down the sites to see enemy tanks, and do my absolute best to keep myself and my team alive - a difficult feat due to Steel Battalion's atrocious Kinect controls. My enemies were mechanical monsters, sent to destroy everything that I held dear. In early cinematics, they were shown as faceless killing machines, slaughtering men, women, and children indiscriminately.

In war, one of the most powerful motivational techniques is dehumanizing your enemy. Dehumanization can also be accomplished through the use of technology. Aiming down a long-range rifle's night vision scope doesn't exactly focus on the human elements at the end of the crosshairs. Drone strikes do away with even having to look at the person being shot at. And in Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor, the player is literally separated from enemy combatants by walls of steel. There is no defining human factor on the battlefield, only the game of war.

Gallery: Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor (4/10/12)

Continue reading Silver Lining: Steel Battalion Heavy Armor and humanity within the mech

JoystiqSilver Lining: Steel Battalion Heavy Armor and humanity within the mech originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 06 Jul 2012 22:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>CapcomFrom-SoftwarekinectmicrosoftOpinionSilver-Liningsteel-battalion-heavy-armorxboxFri, 06 Jul 2012 22:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Silver Lining: Hydrophobia and the fearless mingling of ideas]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2012/06/28/silver-lining-hydrophobia-and-the-fearless-mingling-of-ideas/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/06/28/silver-lining-hydrophobia-and-the-fearless-mingling-of-ideas/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/06/28/silver-lining-hydrophobia-and-the-fearless-mingling-of-ideas/#comments'Silver Lining' is a column from freelancer Taylor Cocke dedicated to highlighting moments of real potential in less than perfect games. This week he examines Hydrophobia from (the now defunct) developer Dark Energy.
Hydrophobia has all the makings of a great game, but where it fails is commitment. The Dark Energy Digital-developed game attempts to do too many things at once, but never succeeds at any of them. What's frustrating is the clear potential each idea had, and the huge divide between what its characters are ostensibly feeling and the gameplay itself.

Exemplifying this lack of commitment is the amount of times Hydrophobia shifts between genres in the first act alone. Opening with a dream about drowning, Hydrophobia transitions from a platforming section drawing heavily from the Uncharted series, into a physics puzzler, before finally settling into a cover-based shooter.

Hydrophobia doesn't execute any of its selected genres well enough to warrant the middling amount of time a player will spend to learn each. In some cases, the design decisions made in some sections undermine some of the game's good ideas, which only led to disappointing critical reception.

Gallery: Hydrophobia (9/27/10)

Continue reading Silver Lining: Hydrophobia and the fearless mingling of ideas

JoystiqSilver Lining: Hydrophobia and the fearless mingling of ideas originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 28 Jun 2012 18:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>HydrophobiamicrosoftOpinionpcplaystationps3Silver-LiningxboxThu, 28 Jun 2012 18:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Silver Lining: Sonic the Hedgehog and a history of disappointment]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2012/06/21/silver-lining-sonic-the-hedgehog-and-a-history-of-disappointmen/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/06/21/silver-lining-sonic-the-hedgehog-and-a-history-of-disappointmen/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/06/21/silver-lining-sonic-the-hedgehog-and-a-history-of-disappointmen/#comments'Silver Lining' is a column from freelancer Taylor Cocke dedicated to highlighting moments of real potential in less than perfect games. This week he examines the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise.
Oh, Sonic, where did you go wrong? Sega's iconic mascot has become a bit of a running joke in recent years, and for good reason. His games haven't been very good. The best I can say about any of them is that about half of the levels are good in any given release. Sonic Unleashed was only enjoyable during the non-werehog parts, Sonic Generations was fun during the old school sections, and even Sonic Colors had more than its fair share of clunky, slow levels that broke up any ability for me to fully enjoy it. The further Sega seems to stray from the formula of the original Sonic games, the worse things seem to get.

One would think that would mean that the two episodes of Sonic the Hedgehog 4 would be pretty good, then. After all, they're ostensibly the most faithful reproductions of the classic 16-bit platformer. Sonic doesn't talk, he's lacking all the incredibly stupid friends that have cropped up over the years, and he's running through a variety of stages so he can beat up on Robotnik at the end. Right down to the order of the worlds, they're essentially recreations. So why aren't they as celebrated as Sonic's original adventures?

Gallery: Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 2 (5/15/12)

Continue reading Silver Lining: Sonic the Hedgehog and a history of disappointment

JoystiqSilver Lining: Sonic the Hedgehog and a history of disappointment originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 21 Jun 2012 21:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>microsoftnintendoOpinionpcplaystationps3sonic-the-hedgehog-4-episode-2wiixboxThu, 21 Jun 2012 21:15:00 EST<![CDATA[Silver Lining: I Am Alive's unfeeling world]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2012/05/25/silver-lining-i-am-alives-unfeeling-world/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/05/25/silver-lining-i-am-alives-unfeeling-world/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/05/25/silver-lining-i-am-alives-unfeeling-world/#comments'Silver Lining' is an ongoing column from freelancer Taylor Cocke, dedicated to examining the hidden potential in recently released, critically panned games. Even in the mediocre, we can find a silver lining.
Image
As I began my time with Ubisoft's downloadable title I Am Alive, the most striking aspect of the game's art style was the high-contrast, almost black and white way it depicted the destroyed city it takes place in. The world feels dead, as it should. The lack of color depicts a space devoid of life, dotted by humanity huddled around the bright oranges and yellows of occasional makeshift fires. At least initially, there's a sharp, distinct difference between the world and those who struggle to live within it. Very quickly, though, it becomes apparent that the distinction exists purely between the protagonist Adam and, well, everything else.

I Am Alive's greatest failures don't lay in its shoddy controls or dated visuals. For me, it was never able to establish a feeling of desperately fighting for survival. At least, not in the same way the non-playable characters are very clearly struggling. Very early, Adam runs into a man sitting next to a fire, who immediately draws his weapon and demands Adam back away. Right away, I Am Alive establishes that its world is one that you shouldn't trust anyone if you value your safety.

Soon after that, Adam comes across a mother and son, the latter of which has been harmed by roving bandits and needs help to survive. Unable to move, they need Adam's help to survive. You can give them a medkit, perhaps forsaking your own safety later on, or simply move on. Again, this pair does its best to show that this world is a frightening, dangerous one.

Gallery: I Am Alive (1/23/12)

Continue reading Silver Lining: I Am Alive's unfeeling world

JoystiqSilver Lining: I Am Alive's unfeeling world originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 25 May 2012 19:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>i-am-alivemicrosoftplaystationps3Silver-LiningxboxFri, 25 May 2012 19:30:00 EST<![CDATA[Silver Lining: NeverDead's transforming man]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2012/05/07/silver-lining-neverdeads-transforming-man/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/05/07/silver-lining-neverdeads-transforming-man/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/05/07/silver-lining-neverdeads-transforming-man/#comments'Silver Lining' is a new column from freelancer Taylor Cocke dedicated to pointing to the pieces that showed the most potential in recently released, bad games. Even in the mediocre, we can find a silver lining.
Games tend to take death rather lightly. Characters die constantly, extra lives are collected and wasted, and respawns are regularly infinite. NeverDead eschews it (almost) entirely, adding an interesting layer to core convention of death in games. As a whole, however, NeverDead is mostly a mess. Combat leans toward the tedious, and the dismemberment mechanic is poorly implemented and clunky. Even the story is paper-thin and mostly unfunny, in a genre not generally lauded for well-crafted narratives.

But it could have worked. The concept of playing as the immortal Bryce Boltzmann is one that's fascinating, especially if he's unhappy with his blessing and/or curse. He's able to lose and reattach his limbs and head at will, even if it causes him a good amount of pain. He's bitter. Plus, the same demon that literally immortalized Boltzmann killed his wife in the process. With all the free time he has, it's understandable that he may be a little whacked in the head.

We could have gotten a story about a man forced to abandon all hope, even if he does not have the means to do so physically. Instead, we got the story of a snarky, sneering jerk with no redeeming qualities.

Gallery: NeverDead (1/24/12)

Continue reading Silver Lining: NeverDead's transforming man

JoystiqSilver Lining: NeverDead's transforming man originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 07 May 2012 20:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>microsoftneverdeadplaystationps3Silver-LiningxboxMon, 07 May 2012 20:15:00 EST<![CDATA[Occupy the Joystick: OAK-U-TRON 201X and Keep Me Occupied take DIY games to the people]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2012/04/09/occupy-the-joystick-oak-u-tron-201x-and-keep-me-occupied-take-d/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/04/09/occupy-the-joystick-oak-u-tron-201x-and-keep-me-occupied-take-d/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/04/09/occupy-the-joystick-oak-u-tron-201x-and-keep-me-occupied-take-d/#comments ImageIn a spot usually reserved for household names like Street Fighter or Galaga, the cabinet's title reads OAK-U-TRON 201X, hastily printed on computer paper. Heavy with the hardware and battery required to make it operate on the move, the OAK-U-TRON's creators Alex Kerfoot and Mars Jokela were sweating with the effort of pushing it through a park in the middle of San Francisco. Like a DIY Trojan horse, it contains a collection of indie titles specifically written for the Winnitron software system, all housed in a piecemeal arcade cabinet complete with an old computer monitor and PS2 fight stick controllers.

I had spotted them while eating lunch in a park in the heart of downtown San Francisco, and made the decision to throw away my mediocre turkey sandwich in order to jog over and check it out. As we walked along, folks from everywhere in the park had the same idea I did, and examined the moving cabinet. Of course, that's exactly what Kerfoot and Jokela were hoping for.

Continue reading Occupy the Joystick: OAK-U-TRON 201X and Keep Me Occupied take DIY games to the people

JoystiqOccupy the Joystick: OAK-U-TRON 201X and Keep Me Occupied take DIY games to the people originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 09 Apr 2012 10:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>anna-anthropyKeep-Me-OccupiedOak-u-TronOccupy-OaklandPoliticalMon, 09 Apr 2012 10:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Street Fighter X Tekken: Welcome to the festival]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2012/01/20/street-fighter-x-tekken-preview-welcome-to-the-festival/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/01/20/street-fighter-x-tekken-preview-welcome-to-the-festival/http://www.joystiq.com/2012/01/20/street-fighter-x-tekken-preview-welcome-to-the-festival/#comments I remember the days of sitting in my buddy's room, losing repeatedly to his Vega as my Dhalsim flailed in front of pixelated, braying elephants. With every loss came the time to give up the controller for the next player in line. Depending on how many people were over, a sort of cheering section would develop. Fueled by Dr. Pepper and bags of potato chips, these impromptu parties are memories that I'm sure I share with many gaming folks.

Street Fighter x Tekken is doing its best to recreate those moments. We already know it's bringing together two of the biggest fighting game franchises on the market, thus creating a huge, varied cast. The Tekken characters have been given the Street Fighter IV treatment, creating a stylized, almost cartoonish look. Their new animations are just as stylized. They're clearly ready to party.

Gallery: Street Fighter X Tekken (1/17/12)

Continue reading Street Fighter X Tekken: Welcome to the festival

JoystiqStreet Fighter X Tekken: Welcome to the festival originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 20 Jan 2012 17:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>capcommicrosoftpcplaystationps3street-fighter-x-tekkenxboxFri, 20 Jan 2012 17:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Monaco preview: Get in, get out, get paid]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2011/09/06/monaco-preview/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/09/06/monaco-preview/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/09/06/monaco-preview/#comments You know what? My friends and I are better thieves than George Clooney. Well, we are if Monaco is any indication.

Sure, George may have all the charm and handsomeness, but if there's any one trait I look for in my friends, it's the appreciation of a good heist. And Monaco is all about stealing some stuff.

The premise of Monaco is simple: Take your team into a heavily guarded building to steal a trophy, and get out without getting caught or killed. A retro feel, a top-down camera angle, and a simplified control scheme comprise its approach to getting some co-op good times going.

Rather than implement an overly complex control scheme that requires a specific set of controls for each class, Monaco designer Andy Schatz has culled the controls down to a two-button system. Every action, like hacking a computer, breaking into a safe or unlocking the door to the escape car is done by running into the object for a couple of seconds.

Gallery: Monaco

Continue reading Monaco preview: Get in, get out, get paid

JoystiqMonaco preview: Get in, get out, get paid originally appeared on Joystiq on Tue, 06 Sep 2011 09:07:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>andy-schatzmacmicrosoftmonacopax-2011pax-prime-2011pcplaystationpocketwatch-gamesps3PSNXBLAxboxTue, 06 Sep 2011 09:07:00 EST<![CDATA[SpyParty preview: Turing, eat your heart out]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2011/09/02/spy-party-preview-turing-eat-your-heart-out/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/09/02/spy-party-preview-turing-eat-your-heart-out/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/09/02/spy-party-preview-turing-eat-your-heart-out/#comments These days, multiplayer games are all about letting the player play the way that they want to. Shooters let you customize your loadouts, racers give you a selecton of cars. If it's online, it's all about standing back and letting players determine their experience. And Spy Party creator Chris Hecker couldn't care less.

Spy Party, his multiplayer espionage game, demands that you play by its rules. It doesn't bend the rules, even in the slightest. Either you learn its complexities, or you lose. Every time. Guaranteed.

Gallery: SpyParty (2/23/11)

Continue reading SpyParty preview: Turing, eat your heart out

JoystiqSpyParty preview: Turing, eat your heart out originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 02 Sep 2011 22:09:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>chris-heckermacpax-prime-2011pcspypartyFri, 02 Sep 2011 22:09:00 EST<![CDATA[Vessel preview: Don't forget to hydrate]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2011/08/31/vessel-preview-dont-forget-to-hydrate/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/08/31/vessel-preview-dont-forget-to-hydrate/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/08/31/vessel-preview-dont-forget-to-hydrate/#comments Vessel You know how they say that water is the essence of life? In Vessel, water takes it one more step: It literally becomes life. Inventor Arkwright has invented what he calls Fluros, little creatures that attract any liquid around them and build them into a body. They're pretty great for doing work around his factory, especially because of their seemingly bottomless desire to step on buttons. Handily, Arkwright's entire factory seems to run on those little buttons.

Relying on the little guys probably isn't the best idea, though. If Fantasia taught us anything, it's that employing vaguely magical automatons to do your dirty work always goes awry. Soon, the Fluros have taken over the factory and start wreaking havoc, breaking down a variety of large machines that the good inventor needs to keep things running smoothly. So, obviously, he must go on a 2D-platformer adventure to solve that not-so-little issue.

Gallery: Vessel (XBLA / PSN / PC)

Continue reading Vessel preview: Don't forget to hydrate

JoystiqVessel preview: Don't forget to hydrate originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 31 Aug 2011 21:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>indiepubmicrosoftpax-prime-2011pcplaystationps3PSNstrange-loop-gamesvesselXBLAxboxWed, 31 Aug 2011 21:30:00 EST<![CDATA[Go Home Dinosaurs preview: Steak 'n' Shake]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2011/08/31/go-home-dinosaurs-preview-steak-n-shake/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/08/31/go-home-dinosaurs-preview-steak-n-shake/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/08/31/go-home-dinosaurs-preview-steak-n-shake/#comments Go Home Dinosaurs! I learn something new every day. While playing the Go Home Dinosaurs PAX demo, I learned that even the most herbivorous of dinosaurs can't resist a nice, juicy steak. Also, little prehistorical mole creatures are the controllers and distributors of said steak, and they don't take too kindly to dinos attempting to crash their BBQ. Fortunately for them, dinosaurs aren't smart enough to stray from a straight path to get to those delicious smelling things.

Yeah, Go Home Dinosaurs is a tower defense game where moles are trying to defend their BBQ from advancing hordes of pterodactyls. Excellent.

Another thing I learned: Moles aren't terribly good at spacial management. They may be great at creating prehistoric turrets, lasers, and all kinds of general dinosaur-harming structures, but the concept of uniform sizes for those buildings is totally foreign to them. Like big, oddly shaped Tetris blocks, each of the weapons takes up a different shape on the board, each defensive building's location has to be carefully planned out to allow for future placements of those of different shapes. Making sure your laser fires down the longest stretch of dino path possible is tough when you have to think about where you'll place your meteor magnet next.

That's right, a meteor magnet. How else will you make those dinos extinct?

Gallery: Go Home Dinosaurs

Continue reading Go Home Dinosaurs preview: Steak 'n' Shake

JoystiqGo Home Dinosaurs preview: Steak 'n' Shake originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 31 Aug 2011 19:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>fire-hose-gamesgo-home-dinosaursmicrosoftpax-prime-2011playstationps3PSNXBLAxboxWed, 31 Aug 2011 19:00:00 EST<![CDATA[The Baconing review: Hacked and slashed]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2011/08/31/the-baconing-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/08/31/the-baconing-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/08/31/the-baconing-review/#comments "The only constant in this world is change." Wait, no, that doesn't work. "You can't change the past, but you can work to change the future." Nope, that doesn't do the trick either. "War. War never changes." No, wrong game. Hm. Here's the thing: The Baconing has a lot more of the same DeathSpank flavor you're likely used to, but without a lot of the stuff that made DeathSpank good. I guess there's not a cliched "change" quote that quite works there, huh?

Sure, the self-obsessed hero of Hothead's first two DeathSpank games is still there. There's still a whole bunch of quests strewn throughout a whimsical and colorful world. And yeah, the writing is still laden with puns and excretory humor, and is presented by a cast of solid comedic voice actors. The hero to the downtrodden still gets wacky loot like the mafioso-looking Pinstripe Platemail as he hacks and slashes his way through bizarre enemies. All that stuff is still there -- but, sadly, it's hidden under a mound of major problems.

Gallery: The Baconing (8/8/11)

Continue reading The Baconing review: Hacked and slashed

JoystiqThe Baconing review: Hacked and slashed originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 31 Aug 2011 13:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>deathspankdeathspank-the-baconingelectronic-artsHothead-Gamesmicrosoftplaystationps3psnthe-baconingxblaxboxWed, 31 Aug 2011 13:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Bioware 'greatly expanding the pool of testers' for Star Wars: The Old Republic]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2011/08/28/bioware-greatly-expanding-the-pool-of-testers-for-star-wars-t/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/08/28/bioware-greatly-expanding-the-pool-of-testers-for-star-wars-t/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/08/28/bioware-greatly-expanding-the-pool-of-testers-for-star-wars-t/#comments Rejoice potential padawan! Bioware announced at its PAX Star Wars: The Old
Republic panel that it will roll out a whole slew of beta invites to
appease your debilitating midichlorian habit. Starting September 2, keep an eye on your
inbox, as the company will periodically send them out during the month.

They will, however, still limit the number of day one copies available. Do try and
keep your blasters, lightsabers and second lightsabers holstered until then.

JoystiqBioware 'greatly expanding the pool of testers' for Star Wars: The Old Republic originally appeared on Joystiq on Sun, 28 Aug 2011 22:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>betabiowareealucasartspax-prime-2011pcStar-Wars-The-Old-RepublicThe-Old-RepublicSun, 28 Aug 2011 22:30:00 EST<![CDATA[Dungeon Siege 3 review: An Id's paradise]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2011/06/21/dungeon-siege-3-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/06/21/dungeon-siege-3-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/06/21/dungeon-siege-3-review/#comments Freud tells us that humans cannot escape their id. At our most basic level, we desire nothing more than to satisfy our drive for pleasure. The id has no morals, it simply wants what it wants with no regard for the implications of the actions that could result. Whether that pleasure is derived through the gain of material goods or through schadenfreude (that's German for laughing when your buddy slams into a pole), all it wants to be satisfied.

Action RPGs exist for this very reason: They're engineered to satisfy your id. You slash and slice your way through thousands of enemies on your way to the loot at the end of the tunnel. You're overly powerful, unable to be taken down by armies of soldiers, spiders, or demons. You fulfill all sorts of power fantasies this way, and only fulfill more and more as your characters level up. So, really, Dungeon Siege 3's measure of success is whether or not it is capable of pleasing your id.

So, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go ahead and ask my id how it enjoyed the dozen or so hours it spent in the Kingdom of Ehb. He's prone to mood swings and occasionally contradictory opinions, so hang with me.

Gallery: Dungeon Siege 3 (E3 2011)

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JoystiqDungeon Siege 3 review: An Id's paradise originally appeared on Joystiq on Tue, 21 Jun 2011 16:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>dungeon-siege-3microsoftobsidian-entertainmentpcplaystationps3rpgsquare-enixxboxTue, 21 Jun 2011 16:30:00 EST<![CDATA[Dirt 3 review: Pep rally]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2011/05/23/dirt-3-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/05/23/dirt-3-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/05/23/dirt-3-review/#comments Dirt 3 really, really wants you to love rally racing as much as it does. It wants you to love the speed, the grit, and the cheers of the crowd just barely audible over the roar of your engine. It also wants you to love how difficult the sport is, how tough it is to keep your off-road vehicle on the road in muddy terrain. It's a good thing that it does, because it doesn't find any qualms with dropping you right in the middle of its world of drifts, revs, and ... zombies?

Gallery: Dirt 3

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JoystiqDirt 3 review: Pep rally originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 23 May 2011 16:59:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>codemastersdirtdirt-3microsoftpcplaystationps3xboxMon, 23 May 2011 16:59:00 EST<![CDATA[StarDrone review: I whip my ship back and forth]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2011/04/11/stardrone-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/04/11/stardrone-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/04/11/stardrone-review/#comments Great puzzle games all have one thing in common: they use easy-to-learn gameplay to mask their deceptive complexity and depth. Seemingly simple concepts are made compelling through clever design and tight controls.

Ideally, players will argue over the best way to do things, the more heated the better. Hell, I once saw a couple of nerds get in a full-on fistfight over Bejeweled strategies. (Yes, it was awesome.)

That said, I don't see StarDrone causing any fistfights any time soon. Sadly, there's just not much here worth coming to blows over.

Continue reading StarDrone review: I whip my ship back and forth

JoystiqStarDrone review: I whip my ship back and forth originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 11 Apr 2011 19:29:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>beatshapersplaystationps3stardroneMon, 11 Apr 2011 19:29:00 EST<![CDATA[Marvel vs. Capcom 3 review: The premier in button-mashing mash-ups]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2011/02/14/marvel-vs-capcom-3-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/02/14/marvel-vs-capcom-3-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/02/14/marvel-vs-capcom-3-review/#commentsMarvel vs. Capcom 4 review Montague vs. Capulet. Death Row vs. Bad Boy. Sparta vs. Athens. Yankees vs. Red Sox. Hamilton vs. Burr. Sure, these guys have some bad blood. I'd even go so far as to say they've got beef. But do any of them have the ability to manipulate metal or flex a bionic arm? How about healing powers and adamantium claws? Are any of them gods of thunder? I thought not. Advantage Marvel vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds.

The excuse for bringing all these characters into the same place basically boils down to this: Dr. Doom, of Marvel fame, and Wesker, from the Resident Evil games, try to meld their respective universes in order to take them both over at once. Unfortunately, by doing so, they made it easier for the rampaging planet eater Galactus to chow down on two worlds. It's all fairly inconsequential to the gameplay but, hey, there needs to be at least some reason for bringing all these folks together for a third time. And to be honest, when a game is as much fun as MvC3, I don't really care what that reason is.

Gallery: Marvel vs Capcom European pre-order T-shirts

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JoystiqMarvel vs. Capcom 3 review: The premier in button-mashing mash-ups originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 14 Feb 2011 11:01:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>CapcomMarvelMarvel-vs-Capcom-3Marvel-vs-Capcom-3-Fate-of-Two-Worldsmicrosoftplaystationps3xboxMon, 14 Feb 2011 11:01:00 EST<![CDATA[MicroBot review: Biohazardous waste]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2011/01/14/microbot-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/01/14/microbot-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2011/01/14/microbot-review/#comments Developers love to hear that their gameplay is "fluid." Extensive amounts of time are spent polishing and tweaking in order to find that perfect motion that gives their game that oh-so-sweet liquidity. And when they pull it off, it's great ... except in the case of twin-stick shooter MicroBot, where it's somehow detrimental.

MicroBot takes fluidity too far. The player takes control of a tiny robot searching a human body for other (infected) robots in order to destroy them. Of course, that means you'll spend your time floating around with the more molecular parts of the human body, so be prepared for some appropriately, well, floaty controls.

Gallery: Microbot

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JoystiqMicroBot review: Biohazardous waste originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 14 Jan 2011 15:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>eamicrobotmicrosoftnaked-sky-entertainmentplaystationps3psnxblaxboxFri, 14 Jan 2011 15:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Splatterhouse review: All guts, no glory]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2010/11/29/splatterhouse-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2010/11/29/splatterhouse-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2010/11/29/splatterhouse-review/#comments If there's one thing Splatterhouse isn't, it's precise. It seems to take pride in being sloppy as it revels in letting you lop off limbs, crush skulls, and tear ribcages from spines.

Unfortunately, thanks to that same sloppy attitude, you might find yourself wishing the game could do the same to you, if only to end the suffering.

Gallery: Splatterhouse (5/24/10)

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JoystiqSplatterhouse review: All guts, no glory originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 29 Nov 2010 17:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>BottleRocketmicrosoftNamco-Bandaiplaystationps3SplatterhousexboxMon, 29 Nov 2010 17:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Quantum Theory review: Derivative formula]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2010/10/12/quantum-theory-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2010/10/12/quantum-theory-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2010/10/12/quantum-theory-review/#comments

Occasionally, you see a remake that simply works better than the original. When Aretha Franklin belts out "Respect," it somehow has significantly more power than when Otis Redding first recorded it. And when the new series of Battlestar Galactica aired in 2003, it garnered critical acclaim, rather than relying on nostalgia and the cheese factor of the original show.

But most of the time, imitations can't come anywhere near the quality of that which they're attempting to capture the magic of. That's when you get The Monkees and the New Monkees trying to cash in on the success of The Beatles. Following in that grand tradition, Quantum Theory is the Airheads to Gears of War's Wayne's World. That is to say it's almost identical to Gears of War, except terrible.

Gallery: Quantum Theory

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JoystiqQuantum Theory review: Derivative formula originally appeared on Joystiq on Tue, 12 Oct 2010 17:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>microsoftplaystationps3Quantum-Theoryteam-tachyontecmo-koeixboxTue, 12 Oct 2010 17:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Disney Guilty Party review: Waggle, She Wrote]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2010/09/08/disney-guilty-party-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2010/09/08/disney-guilty-party-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2010/09/08/disney-guilty-party-review/#comments Oh great, a Wii game with "Party" in the title. Do we really need another one of these? I mean, we've already got Raving Rabbits TV Party, Pool Party, Game Party, Babies Party, Mario Party 8, Boom Blox: Bash Party, and ... trust me, I could go on.

Wait a second. What's that? Disney Guilty Party's actually fun? It doesn't look like the developers were locked in a closet throughout the design process? Oh, fine. I guess I'll give it a shot.

Gallery: Disney Guilty Party

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JoystiqDisney Guilty Party review: Waggle, She Wrote originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 08 Sep 2010 19:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>Disneydisney-guilty-partyDisney-Interactivenintendowideload-gameswiiWed, 08 Sep 2010 19:30:00 EST<![CDATA[Review: Ninety-Nine Nights 2]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2010/07/07/review-ninety-nine-nights-2/http://www.joystiq.com/2010/07/07/review-ninety-nine-nights-2/http://www.joystiq.com/2010/07/07/review-ninety-nine-nights-2/#comments Galen hasn't had the best few months. Though he might be the self-proclaimed "ultimate warrior," his world has been invaded by the Army of the Night, his home has been destroyed and his family killed. So he's doing what any other ultimate warrior would do in a similar situation: He's slaughtering everything.

But here's a surprise I learned from N3II: Ninety-Nine Nights, a.k.a. Ninety-Nine Nights 2: Indiscriminately wiping out your enemies is, for the most part, crazy boring. When it's not boring, it's incredibly frustrating. And on a few rare occasions? Frustratingly boring.

Gallery: Ninety-Nine Nights 2 (6.3.2010)

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JoystiqReview: Ninety-Nine Nights 2 originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 07 Jul 2010 15:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>feelpluskonamimicrosoftninety-nine-nights-2xboxWed, 07 Jul 2010 15:00:00 EST