We're afraid the sequel to Assault Heroes is still not an open-ended, city-dwelling game where you're tasked with punching firemen and war veterans. Sierra Online's Assault Heroes 2, which is scheduled to demolish the Xbox Live Arcade lineup this Wednesday, is very much in line with 2006's omni-directional shooter, though we suspect we won't be able to make jokes about a broken multiplayer mode this time.

Instead, we'll have to deliver punchlines that involve the sequel's more destructive weaponry, ability to hi-jack enemy vehicles and high volume of "relentless enemies and outrageous bosses." And sometimes, it has all of that, with two-player co-op ... in space! It's yours for 800 MS Points ($10).

Sierra recently showed off its upcoming crop of XBLA games at a media event. While a couple have promise, most could be buried by the quantity or quality of competitors. All are confirmed only for XBLA, but Sierra is considering PSN versions of most. All will be out this Summer.

Wanako's Assault Heroes would have been one of our most cherished bits of Xbox Live Arcade entertainment had one key element -- online gameplay -- not been so broken so as to only be recognizable by its dental records. Even so, we are forgiving sorts, and when news came down that the developer planned to try its hands at the game once more with a sequel this spring, we figured why not. If He-Man and ABC After School Specials taught us one thing, it's that everyone deserves a second chance.

Carrying a promise to "expand its horizons into outer space," publisher Sierra Online has confirmed that Assault Heroes 2 will roll onto XBLA on May 14. The sequel will include a number of additions to the series' freshman outing, including the ability to hijack vehicles -- including spacecraft -- as well as more levels. There will also be a number of new co-op modes included, though honestly we're less concerned with what's been added than we are with Wanako simply making them work.

[Via press release]

Perhaps, like us, you occasionally feel the urge to parade through the neighborhood, toting nothing but an impossibly huge rocket launcher and a desire to vaporize anything that, well, isn't you. And perhaps, like us, you realize (before it's too late) that these impractical desires are best expressed in video games such as Sierra Online's Assault Heroes or id Software's iconic Doom. It's certainly a lot cheaper.

In fact, the two aforementioned games will be added to Xbox Live's Arcade Hits program this Wednesday, March 19th, resulting in a 50% discount to 400 MS Points ($5) each. As Microsoft is keen to point out in the same press release, your determined point pinching may just come in handy for a lineup of new titles due to arrive on Xbox Live Arcade "in the near future:"